What My Heart Says

What My Heart Says
By: Jaimie

So let them say it’s wrong
For me to love you
They could never feel
The way that I do when we kiss
When we’re close like this

Shannon sat beside her boyfriend of the last two years, staring out into space, not paying any attention to the speech her boyfriend was giving. It was their engagement party. She should be happy right? She was marrying the man she loved. Wasn’t she? Craig was everything she thought she wanted. He was bright, charming, funny, handsome, all of the qualities she thought were important in a man. He was Mr. Popularity. Everyone loved him. If everything about him was so perfect, then why was she sitting there wishing she were with someone else. She wished she was with the one man who truly knew her and understood her.

They can’t see inside my soul
They can’t know the love we know
All they do is waste their time
They can never change my mind

Joey. He was the one she yearned for every night while she lay in bed at night beside Craig. Joey was the one who ignited the passion deep inside of her and made her realize her dreams. She always felt like a shadow behind Craig, but with Joey she felt like she was his true equal. Shannon looked over to her best friend, Jaimie, who sat beside her. Jaimie knew exactly what Shannon was thinking by just looking into her eyes. Jaimie looked over at her own fiancé, Lance, and knew she would want to do anything to be with him. She smiled over at Shannon and gave her hand a comforting squeeze, knowing she would need her support for what she was about to do.

It’s what my heart says
That is what I listen to
It’s what my heart feels
That tells me, tells me what to do
It’s what my heart knows
That’s the only, the only truth I know is real
All I hear is what my heart says to me
What my heart says

Shannon stood up, bringing everyone’s attention to her. She looked around the crowded room, into all the faces of the people she thought were her friends. She knew this was going to be the true test of their friendship.

“I’m sorry to interrupt, but I have something I need to say.”

“Can’t it wait until I’m finished with my speech, darling?” Craig said with a plastered on smile. She knew he was angry for the interruption.

“No it can’t.” Shannon sighed before she continued. “Craig, you are a wonderful person and you deserve all the happiness in the world....but I’m not the one to give that to you.”

Shannon saw the mixture of hurt and confusion cloud Craig’s handsome features. Before he could respond, she placed her hand to his mouth to stop him, “Please let me finish. I can’t marry you Craig. I can’t pledge to love you for the rest of my life when my heart belongs to someone else.” Shannon paused for a moment as she fought her tears. “I never meant for any of this to happen, and I never wanted to hurt you. If you were really honest with yourself you know this is for the best. We’re too different. We want different things. I thought I could be happy settling for a life with you, but I’ve realized that I can’t truly be happy unless I am with the man who understands me better than anyone. With him I feel like I can do anything, be anything. I’m sorry everyone to do this here and now, but I can’t continue living this lie. It’s not me, and I’m not going to hide the real me anymore.”

Shannon looked around the room at all the stunned faces. She didn’t see any compassion or understanding coming from any of them, until she saw Jaimie and Lance. They smiled warmly at her, as they opened their arms to embrace her.

“Go to him.” Jaimie whispered into her ear as she held her. When Shannon pulled away, she gave Jaimie a grateful smile before turning to Craig. She pulled off her engagement ring and place it in his hand gently. She reached up and hugged him tightly and kissed his lips softly, “I am sorry.” Shannon then quickly turned and headed out the door towards her future, hoping it wasn’t too late.

Let them say that I’m a fool
To fall so deeply
Cause they will never ever be
Loved so completely
How can they even talk that way?
They can’t see it through my eyes
They can’t feel this love inside
All their words don’t mean a thing
They can’t change the way I feel

Shannon ran all the way to the theatre on campus. When she got there she stood outside the stage entrance, fighting the butterflies that fluttered in her stomach. Would he be happy with her decision? Would he still want her after she accepted another man’s proposal? Shannon prayed it wasn’t too late as she stepped inside the theatre.

As Shannon approached the stage, she saw Joey in the dim light. He was working on the scenery for one of the plays they were preparing for. Sweat poured down his handsome face as he worked on fixing one of the broken boards on the fence that lined the back of the stage. He didn’t even seem to notice she was there. She stood in the shadows behind the curtains for a moment. She took a deep breath and stepped onstage. He still didn’t look up until she spoke.

“When you get done with that I have job for you too.” she tried to joke to lighten the mood.

Joey looked up for a moment startled, when he saw her his expression softened, but only for a moment. Hurt and anger flared in his deep chocolate eyes, the eyes that had once looked upon her with so much love. Shannon flinched just from the look he was giving her. She knew she deserved it, “What are you doing here? I thought you were busy getting wedding presents.”

“Okay, I deserved that.”

“I know you did. Look, if you have something to say say it. I have work to do.”

“I just wanted to say I was sorry. I’m sorry for hurting you, that’s the last thing I wanted to do.”

“Yeah, well I’ll live.”

Shannon was surprised by his coldness. She never knew him to be like this, but she knew it was because she had hurt him so much. “I do love you.”

“Yeah, you love me. You love me so much you are marrying someone else. Nice way to show your love for me. Shannon, please just go. I have work to do.”

Shannon sighed heavily, “Okay, I’ll go. But I have to show you something first.”

“What?” he asked, getting more agitated by the minute.

Shannon said nothing. She held up her left hand. Joey looked at her disbelieving. Did she leave Craig for him? She no longer wore his ring. His eyes searched her face, looking for the answers to his silent questions. Shannon’s chin trembled as she spoke, “I couldn’t go through with it. I can’t pretend to be someone I’m not. I’m not in love with Craig. I’m in love with you. I want to be with you forever. Please tell me it’s not too late.” Shannon was crying hard by the time she finished her speech. Joey walked over to her and took her hands in his. He kissed them softly before pulling her into his embrace. He just held her for a while until her tears subsided. When he pulled away, he gently brushed his lips against hers.

“I love you too. It killed me to think that you wanted to be with Craig more than me.”

“I was so stupid. No one knows me like you do. You helped me find my own identity, and helped me realize that my happiness was what was most important. I love you so much Joey.” Shannon smiled.

“We’ll never be apart again. I promise you that.” Joey smiled as he brought his lips to hers again, knowing they would be happy together at last.

And I have never felt so sure about anything
See you are the one, the one that I need
It doesn’t matter what they think
Or what they say
I’m loving you anyway
All I know is what I feel

It’s what my heart says
That is what I listen to
It’s what my heart feels
That tells me, tells me what to do
It’s what my heart knows
That’s the only, the only truth I know is real
All I hear is what my heart says to me

What my heart says...what my heart says

The End

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