Operative III:  Chill

By:  Julie

“Rise and shine boys, today’s an important day.”

I yawned and sat up, looking over to the people who now stood in the doorway. It was way to damn early for this bullshit. That seemed to be the trend lately. People being obnoxious in the morning.

“You’d think you boys would be used to this by now,” Richardson announced. He flipped the lights on. I herd a shoe fly and hit the wall. Wade must not have had his eyes open.

“Shit,” I heard another voice say. I didn’t recognize it and I wasn’t moving to look.

“Just ignore it,” Richardson said. “Plane leaves in an hour boys,” he said. “I expect you to be early.” And then he was gone.

“I guess that means we have to get up,” Wade said. I knew that he was lying on his back with the blankets pulled up to his chin, eyes closed.

“I guess so,” I replied. Heath made a snoring noise.

“So we should get up.” Wade said.

“You first.” I said.

“And take a shower,” Wade said, propping himself up on an elbow and looking across the room. “And use up all the how water.”

Heath was out of the bed in less than two seconds, and I nearly rolled off the bed. Wade grinned.

“That was cool,” I said.

“I know,” Wade said.

XxXx

“You’re late,” Richardson said, looking down his nose at me when I walked into the main lobby. “We could have left you here.”

“I’m always late and there is no way you would ever leave me here,” I replied. I dropped my backpack onto the floor.

“You’re too fucking cocky,” Dan said. Great. We were back to hating each other. Hm. I guess I might have deserved it.

“You’re getting pretty damn… cocky, yourself,” I said, smirking at him and putting an emphasis on the word. Dan looked down sharply, then back up to glare at me.

“You’re an asshole.” Dan said.

“We discussed this already,” I told him. “And—“ Heath’s hand covered my mouth.

“Just shut up,” he said. Then removed his hand.

“Fine,” I muttered.

Richardson waited for us to take seats on the benches before beginning his briefing.

“The girl’s name is Britney,” he said. “She’s the usual type, aspiring singer or actress, whatever. Rich girl, even richer boyfriend. He wants her dead.”

“Must be a bad lay,” I whispered to Heath.

“Boyfriend’s probably gay,” Heath whispered back. I snickered.

“Do you two have something to say,” Richardson asked, sounding more than a little angry.

“Not really,” Heath said. “Just making the usual dirty remarks about the sexual situation of the targets.” He gave Richardson the grin. The one with the deep dimples. Yeah. MM.

“You two spend way too much time together.” Richardson said. “Don’t be surprised if we switch the rooms you’re in when you get back.”

“And don’t be surprised if the same thing that happened last time happens this time,” I told him.

“You know what?” Richardson said. “Shut up. We’re gonna go and get the girl, and bring her back here. That’s not that hard.”

“Nope, it isn’t,” Wade said.

Richardson sighed. “Now I have three. What did I do to deserve this?” He asked, no one in particular. I wanted to laugh at him. “And don’t fuck up like last time.” He said, looking pointedly at Trevor. “Now get out to the plane.”

XxXx

Everyone on the plane was sleeping. Almost everyone, at least. There was something about being on the huge gutted out army plane that always rendered the operatives unconscious. I didn’t really understand it.

One of the people that I knew wasn’t sleeping was Dan. I could feel his eyes on me. It was making me insane.

“I wish he’d just… stop,” I whispered to Heath. He made an unintelligible noise and slid his fingers through my hair. Okay, that did some good.

I sighed, trying to get more comfortable. I just couldn’t cope with his eyes on me. He was making me paranoid.

“I’ll be back,” I whispered to Heath, then slid out of his arms, leaning him against the corner where we were sitting. I stood up and walked over to Dan and sat down next to him.

He looked up at me, ice in his eyes. I didn’t say anything, only looked at him. He didn’t say anything either, but he looked away. I kept my eyes on him.

“Stop staring at me!” Dan snapped suddenly. It came out like a scream in the silent plane. His eyes widened and he blushed. I laughed at him. “Fuck you,” he said.

“Want to?” I said. He glared at me. “Why were you watching me? Seems like, for the past two days, I can’t turn around without you being there.”

“I can’t help it,” Dan said. “I told you.”

I sighed and sat closer to him. The world had something about making it cold wherever I was. I hated it. I moved closer to Dan. He was the warmest thing there right then.

“Stop. You’re gonna do what you did last time,” Dan said.

“You liked it last time,” I said. “I’m just trying to get warm.”

Dan looked at me, then threw his blanket onto me. I smiled.

“You know… if you really want to…” I began. “I’m sure Heath wouldn’t mind so much, if it was just one more time…”

“Yes,” Dan whispered. I smirked. I so had him in my palm. He belonged to me.

I slid my hand down Dan’s pants. He gasped.

“Maybe another time,” I told him. I got up and walked back over to Heath and slipped back beside him. He popped an eye open and grinned at me.

“You’re absolutely horrible,” He said. I traced a finger over his dimples. He smiled more, and they deepened.

“I know,” I said. “You love it.”

“Uhh…” He said.

“Heath!” I said. Loudly. Several of the guys opened their eyes and looked at us. I covered my mouth and started laughing. I couldn’t help it.

Heath looked at me like I was nuts. I couldn’t stop giggling. I was cold, and I was horny, and dammit, I couldn’t STOP giggling. Heath started laughing too.

“Oh my god I can’t stop,” I said, still laughing.

Heath pulled me close and covered my mouth with his. I stopped giggling. I slipped my arms around him and closed my eyes. Then my back slid along the wall and we tumbled onto the floor. I pulled my lips away from his and started laughing again. I couldn’t help it.

Some of the guys were watching. I was sure that Dan was. But Dan knew. Most of the other’s didn’t…

Oh well.

I slid my fingers through his hair. “Shouldn’t do anything here. Got an audience.” I told him.

“Never stopped you before,” Heath said, sliding his hands down.

“That was Wade. Wade is different,” I said. Heath was holding my hands down. That was my thing, dammit

“Don’t lie to yourself Ashley,” Heath said. I was lying, wasn’t I? “You like it.” Uh huh. “You like the thought that people are watching.”

YES!

“Yeah, maybe I do,” I told him. “But not my superiors Heath. I don’t have that many and I’d rather not gain more.”

“They’re not going to demote you because you had sex,” Heath said, rolling his eyes.

“I dunno,” I said. “It’s pretty kinky sex.”

“Aaaaaaaaasssh,” Heath said, rolling his eyes. Again. He rolled his eyes at me a lot. Even though he wasn’t really the type of person that you would see rolling eyes.

“So they aren’t going to demote me,” I conceded. “But Heath, twenty people.”

“We have a blanket.”

“It’s your ass they’re going to be looking at.”

“Mine? What about yours?”

“I’m on bottom, in case you couldn’t tell.”

Heath laughed, then kissed me quickly and sat up. I shivered.

Heath lifted me up off the floor and pulled me against him. He leaned back in the corner and wrapped the blankets around us, and he was warm and well… other… things, and I tried to think that I did NOT love him, because that was bad. One of us might not come back from this. There was always that chance.

“Why are you always so warm?” I asked him. The dimples appeared again, and I wanted to lick him. Just LICK him for being so great.

“Why are you always cold?” he asked. I grinned. I didn’t know WHY, it was just like that.

Richardson came in.

“We’re landing in twenty minutes. Be ready to disperse. You’ll move into civilian cover immediately. The job happens tomorrow night. Use the time to become familiar with the area, and the surroundings of your posts,” Richardson said. “Act normal.” He glared at me in particular. “And try not to draw attention to yourselves.”

I licked Heath. Just for good measure. Right down his jaw line. He closed his eyes and tilted his head. Richardson exploded.

“When we get back to the base, Angel, I’m going to make sure you NEVER get sent on a mission again,” Richardson shouted. “I’m so sick of this bullshit. No one else gets away with the shit you do, so you should either!”

I raised my eyebrows. Excuse me sir? If anything, I was his superior, not the other way around. I was already there when Richardson first went through training. Who did he think he was?

“And who would replace me?” I asked. “You know there isn’t anyone that can do some of the things I’ve done on missions and have survived the same. You know that I’m one of the best. You know that it wouldn’t be the same if you took one of us off the team, and you know it.”

Woah, redundant.

“He’s right you know,” Wade said. He peered over the top of his laptop at us. “The team wouldn’t be the same without him.”

“It wouldn’t be,” Dan said. Richardson looked at him sharply. I knew he’d heard rumors. Everyone had heard rumors. Everyone wanted to know what had really happened with Dan and I. As far as I knew, neither of us had said anything. Must have been Wade.

“How would you know,” Richardson asked sharply.

“I was there, remember? I saw them. I know the way they work. I think that Ashley’s important,” Dan said.

Among other things. I almost started laughing.

“It wouldn’t be the same,” Heath said. All the other noises stopped and everyone looked at him.

“Why do you think not?” Richardson asked. I wondered if he was acting like he wanted to know or if he really did.

“I’d quit,” Heath said. “Plain and simple as that. You drop Ashley from the team, I’m gone too.”

Richardson was staring, open-mouthed.

“I guess I’d have to quit too, then,” Wade said.

“See, you can’t just get rid of me because you don’t like to see that I have a little fun in a different way that you,” I said. “Oh, but you know what Richardson? Try it and you might like it.”

That got a god laugh, and Richardson turned purple from rage and embarrassment. But he left us alone. I straddled Heath’s legs and kissed him, my tongue lingering over his lips.

“Would you really quit?” I asked him.

“Yes,” he said.

That scared me. If he was willing to do that, what did that mean? My brain was working overtime, and I hated it. I was worrying, and I hated that too. Could that mean what I thought it did?

I drowned my thoughts in ecstasy, pressing Heath against the wall. If it stopped the thoughts that I was having, I didn’t care who saw us.

XxXx

Dan was watching me again. It was making me crazy.

He’d watched us on the plane. A lot of the guys had. I shook my head. He just… didn’t give up.

But maybe he was a solution to my problem.

“Ashley,” he said, walking up to me.

“Hi,” I said. He just stood there.

“You’re scared,” he said. What? Me, scared? Nooo… How the HELL did he know?

“Because of what Heath said earlier today…” Dan said. He was NOT doing this to me. “You’re afraid that he might love you.”

“How did you know?” I asked. Scary shit, this.

“I remembered what you told me.” Dan said. Oh yeah? “And I was thinking that maybe… he meant that when he said it. Like he loved you.”

“Please don’t say that.” I said. I didn’t really want to hear it out loud so much.

“I want to help you,” Dan said. “But I don’t know what to do.”

I knew. I knew what I wanted to do. If it would just make Heath hate me for a little while, it would be okay… oh god, did I love him?

I leaned forward and kissed Dan. No. I didn’t love. I couldn’t. Not since… well. I just, didn’t.

“Come with me,” I said to Dan, and slid down from the low wall on which I had been sitting. I lead him to the empty airplane hangar, inside the airplane. Blankets were still scattered all over the floor of the monster. “Down,” I whispered, and Dan sat.

“What are you doing,” he asked. I pressed a finger to his lips and knelt, one leg on either side of his hips. I pushed him back onto the floor.

“Making myself feel guilty,” I whispered.

It was so easy to not think. To take off our clothes and give him what he wanted, right there, hard, hot. The only time I could remember not being cold in a while, only when I was intimately touching another person.

Dan slept peacefully, on his stomach, his head against my shoulder. I watched the sun rise over the buildings outside. I thought about things.

I thought it would make me feel guilty. Heath had admitted to feeling guilt after doing some things with one of the girls we snagged on a mission one time. And I had told him that I was sorry about what I did with Dan that night.

But I realized that no, I wasn’t sorry. I didn’t feel remorse.

He was in love with me, and I didn’t feel a thing for him in return. I slept with him, and I took things that shouldn’t have been mine, but I didn’t love him.

I wondered if maybe that wasn’t why I was so cold all the time.

It was like my insides had turned to ice.

Read Operative IV