Operative V:  Forever Hold Your Peace
By:  Julie

I waited to go back into the building. I was a little scared, I guess. Happy that Dan hadn’t followed me, and scared of what Heath was going to say.

I opened the door and stepped inside. The pizza was still sitting on the table, where Heath had placed it when he’d come in probably ten minutes before. The lights were out, and the room was silent.

Normally if I came in after he’d already gone to bed, I’d have to turn off the radio. I’d never heard it be so silent when I came in. It sort of worried me.

“Heath?” I whispered. I heard a sniff.

“Thought you were pissed,” Heath said. He was buried under my blankets on the bed. I hadn’t noticed him.

“I wasn’t pissed,” I said. I walked over and sat down next to him, leaning against him, favoring my injured side. “I’m scared.”

“Of what?” He asked. “Dying?”

“Sort of,” I replied. It had been so much easier to yell it all at Dan, because had known some of it anyway. But Heath didn’t.

“You’ve never been afraid of dying before,” He said.

“I’ve never been in love with you before.”

Heath’s eyes widened, then he blinked.

“What?” He asked.

“You remember back… when…” I started. I took a deep breath and tried again. “You remember when Josh died?” I asked him. He nodded his head. “Do you remember how I felt when that happened? How I acted?”

“You cried, for, um, days. I remember.” He said.

“When I asked you how you would feel if I had died…” I said, stretching out next to him and running my fingers through his hair. “And what you said… I’ve been so scared, Heath. I don’t want to lose you like I did him.”

“That’s why you freaked out? And why you ran away?” Heath asked. He reached out and pulled me closer to him.

“That’s why I’ve done everything that I have. I’ve tried so hard to push you away from me, but I couldn’t,” I said. “And you know, Dan followed you back here, and when I went out there, he chased me down and made me talk.”

“And?” Heath said. I kissed his neck.

“He made me admit that I was freaked out because I’m in love with you. And it scares me.” I told him.

“Why does it scare you?” Heath asked.

“I don’t want to lose you,” I told him.

“Ashley,” Heath said. I shook my head. I felt dizzy.

“I don’t,” I repeated. Heath kissed me, his lips lingering on mine.

“I know,” Heath said, holding my face between his hands.

XxXx

“This is weird,” I said.

“Mm.” Heath said. His fingers rubbed the back of my head. “Yeah.”

Operatives wandered around the room. I played with a wrinkle in the fabric of Heath’s sweat pants. His hand was warm through the fabric of my shirt. Some of the guys gave us weird looks. Heath started channel surfing.

I poked his leg. “Come ON, baby,” I said. “Stop the surfing.”

Heath surfed. Guys glared, snickered, and looked disgusted.

“Oh shit! Go back!” I cried. Heath ignored me and kept surfing. “Heath,” I whined. “Please!”

“Why?” he asked. I reached for the remote.

“Cute boys!” I said. I slid across his lap and reached for the remote, trying to get it from him as he held it away. “Heath!”

Guys were staring now. Heath was grinning, moving the remote further away from my hands.

“Cuter than me?” Heath asked. I looked at him and rolled my eyes.

“Yes! Because the cute boys on the TV aren’t keeping me from the remote!” I told him.

“Now you’re really not going to get it,” Heath told me.

“You’re mean,” I said. Heath looked at me for a minute before standing up and dumping me on the floor. I shrieked. “Ow!”

“Come and get it operative-boy,” Heath said, holding the remote out.

“You are way dead,” I cried.

“Only if you can catch me,” Heath said.

I got to my feet and dove at Heath, who jumped over the back of the couch. I scrambled over and followed him, chasing him across the room. I grabbed him around the waist and he let go of the remote, turning and tackling me to the floor.

“I kind of like it like this,” Heath said.

“This kind of hurts my side,” I told him. He shifted his weight, and I tried to get away.

“Nooo,” Heath said. “You wanted cute boys.”

“And I got you!” I cried, laughing.

“I’m cute,” he said.

“No,” I said. “You’re beautiful.”

“That’s demeaning,” Heath told me.

“Handsome then.” I conceded. “Let me up before we make a mess.”

“Is that a threat?”

“Does it sound like one?”

“Umm…”

“Ledger!” Richardson’s voice boomed from above us.

“Looks like I’m getting it this time,” Heath whispered to me.

“Angel,” Richardson said, his voice twice as threatening.

“Or not,” Heath said.

“Both of you get off the floor,” he said.

Heath and I stood.

“I’ve put up with this for a long time,” Richardson said. “I’ve tolerated you two and your little public displays, and really, I’m sick of every time I see you, seeing you wrapped around each other! It’s sick!”

“How is it sick?” I asked him. I felt dizzy again, and not in the nice way I felt when Heath was kissing me either.

“You’re both grown men!” Richardson shouted. “You’re past the point of experimentation!”

“I’m not experimenting,” Heath said.

“Neither am I,” I said. “Look, Kevin, I’ve always been like this. It’s not like it’s something new.”

“You’ve never been blatantly public before,” Kevin hissed. “There are people here who are disgusted.”

“Then they can leave,” Heath said. “Or better yet, let us leave. Let us go out and be normal.”

“You’ll never be normal.” Kevin snapped.

“I am normal,” I cried.

“Ashley, you’re twenty. You’ve killed more people than you’ve lived years,” Kevin said. “You’ve never been with a woman. Bullets that were meant to take your life killed your last boyfriend. You will NEVER be normal.”

That hurt. I felt sick and my knees were weak. Josh had died… and it was supposed to have been me? That was my fault?

Heath swung at Kevin. Heath was younger, faster, and stronger, I knew, but Kevin didn’t even move. On a regular day, it wouldn’t have been a minute before Heath had Kevin on the floor, possibly unconscious. But Heath wasn’t thinking. I knew that he wasn’t.

Dan ended up being the one that intervened. I sank to the floor, my hands over my mouth. I didn’t know what I was trying to hold back, the hysterical giggles that threatened to bubble forth, or the screams, or maybe I was going to throw up.

“He doesn’t look so hot,” I remember someone saying.

“He’s passing out,” someone else said.

“Ashley? Ash, can you hear me?” That was Heath, I knew. I tried to tell him that I was okay, but the words wouldn’t come out. Nothing would come out. “God, I’m sorry,” I heard him say faintly.

I don’t remember any more.

XxXx

When I woke up, I was in unfamiliar territory. Like, in a real hospital room.

I hyperventilated. No, no, no. They hadn’t sent me away? Sent me to some place that WASN’T the compound, some place that I didn’t belong, had they?

Heath was sleeping on his stomach on a cot against the wall. He looked uncomfortable.

“Heath,” I whispered. He half opened his eyes.

“Yeah?” he asked.

“Where are we?” I asked.

“Northern compound,” Heath replied. I blinked.

“Excuse me,” I asked.

“Northern compound,” Heath repeated.

“Why?” I asked.

“After the thing with Richardson, they sent us here. Couldn’t deal with us, I guess.” Heath said. “They sent Wade and Dan too, if you were wondering.”

“No.” I said. Heath nodded unhappily.

The northern compound was the last place any of us ever wanted to be sent. Operative just… didn’t come back from the northern compound.

I sat up. “What now?” I asked.

“They aren’t as lenient out here,” Heath said. “As far as it goes here, I’m not your boyfriend.”

I winced. “That fucking sucks.”

“Yeah.”

“I don’t want it to be like that. I want it to be like it always was.”

“We could try?” Heath suggested.

“Guess we’re gonna have to.” I said.

“Yup,” He agreed.

“Can I get up?” I asked.

“No,” he said.

“You suck.”

“Point being?”

“Agh. Please?”

“I’ll think about it.

I whistled for about two seconds. “Thought about it enough?” I asked.

“I guess,” he said.

“C’mere.” I said.

“Sure.” He said, then crawled into the bed with me.

I assumed that things would be more peaceful away from Kevin.

I never counted on things getting a whole lot worse.

The End

Tell Julie what you thought of this story!