When the Music Stops
By:  Julie

It hadn’t been easy.

He’d told them that acting was something that he wanted to do. He told them that if they would give him a little time, he could do both. He believed that he could. They, unfortunately did not.

They didn’t want to give him the time. And when the choice came up, whether he would take the part he was offered or go on being a pretty boy in a boyband, he chose to go. They told him that if he wanted to do it, that he was out of the group.

He chose to go.

~`~

“Dan, dude, look at this ad,” Erik said. Dan walked up behind the couch and looked.

They saw Ashley, his hair dyed dark, on the screen. It was some sort of slasher movie, and the first thing the saw of their former band mate was the young man being slammed against a wall and choked. The saw him with girls, with boys, and partying, flashes of a group of teens tossing back drinks and inhaling substances, saw them fighting. The music was a rush, started slow and climaxed fast, before trailing off when the title of the movie came up.

Erik and Dan simply stared at the screen for long moments.

“I’d like to see that,” Erik said, after a long while.

“I wouldn’t,” Dan said shortly, before walking away. He slammed into Jacob and glared at the other man before continuing on his way.

“What the fuck’s up with him?” Jake asked, vaulting over the back of the couch and into the seat next to Erik.

“Ashley,” Erik said.

“Thought he was over that,” Jacob said, putting his feet up on the coffee table. “What with the vows not to watch anything with the guy in it on TV or anything.”

“Ash is in a movie,” Erik explained. “And Dan saw the preview. I yelled at him to see the preview. I didn’t realize he’d act like that.”

“You’re an idiot sometimes, you know?” Jacob said.

“Okay, I’m a little bit annoyed by Dan’s total lack of social skills since Ashley left,” Erik said. “What the hell did they do that fucked Dan up so much when Ashley chose the acting over the group?”

“I’ll give you three guesses and the second two don’t count,” Jacob said. Erik took the hint and his eyes widened.

“Oh,” he said. “So basically, Ashley chose someone else over Dan.”

“Yeah,” Jake said. “And Dan didn’t want anything to do with him after he left, so he’s… like he is now.”

Erik sighed. Dan was annoying like this. And he wanted to see that movie. Really wanted to see that movie.

~`~

“I’m sorry that I made him spaz out on you?” Ashley said insincerely, holding the phone to his ear as he sat on the island in the middle of the kitchen.

“You sound so absolutely sorry Angel,” Mike Cronin, his ex manager said.

“I’m not sorry,” Ashley said. “You forced me to leave, remember? You and Mike, you told me that I couldn’t have the time, and it was this or the band, and guess what, I didn’t pick the band.” The other inhabitant of Ashley’s kitchen looked up from the sink where the dishes were being rinsed for the dishwasher.

“And you broke up with Dan for that?” Mike asked.

“Oh, wait. He let everyone think that I dumped him, didn’t he?” Ashley asked, almost laughing. The person at the sink laughed. “He’s covering up for the fact that he fucked up as bad as you and Mike. He dumped me.”

“Ashley, I’m not going to argue with you about this.”

“I’m not arguing? I’m stating a fact, dude.”

“You’re being an asshole.”

“I learned from the best.”

The dishwasher was closed and started. A cigarette was lit and brought to full lips. Ashley smiled. The domesticity-non-domesticity of those actions made him glad he’d given up the path he was on.

“Look, Ashley, we kind of need you to come back,” Mike finally admitted, and Ashley rolled his eyes, knowing all along that that was the purpose of the call.

“Sorry Mike, but I do have a life, and regardless of whether my presence would help Dan’s sanity or not, I have a boyfriend and will not be leaving him any time soon,” Ashley said. “So when I decide that I don’t like being good at what I do, I’ll come back and dance with your boyband again, okay?”

“Ashley—“ Mike began, but Ashley didn’t give him a chance to finish. The phone beeped as he turned it off.

“You look good frustrated and angry,” his boyfriend said. Ashley smiled at him.

“Not frustrated, and not angry,” Ashley said. A hand was lifted and fingers touched Ashley’s cheek.

“Then what’s with all the red?”

Ashley sighed. “They’re annoying, you know? I don’t want that anymore. I thought I did when I first got into it, but…”

“And then it dawned on you that you couldn’t dance and were really better at acting?”

“Uh, yeah.”

“And speaking of, did you call Josh about the scripts? You asked me to remind you, but I forgot.”

“Ah, shit.” Ashley slipped off the counter and went into the living room. “Do you remember what I did with the number?” He called. The boyfriend followed.

“He put it in my pocket,” the boyfriend replied. Ashley smiled.

“So you’re saying that since I suck at laundry it’s in the hamper?” Ashley asked.

“Yup.”

Ashley sprinted down the stairs to the laundry room. “AH HA!” came the cry, and he came back up.

“Now if he’ll answer, life is good.” Ashley said.

“Life was already good,” boyfriend replied with a kiss.

~`~

“I’m not going,” Dan said stubbornly.

“Look, we rarely get opportunities to go to movie premiers. You’re going,” Erik said. Dan didn’t move.

“Am. Not.” He repeated. Jacob came into the room.

“Get up,” he commanded. Dan pouted, but obeyed. Erik looked annoyed.

“Why doesn’t he ever listen to me?” he asked.

“Because you’re annoying,” Jake said. Erik looked startled.

“I don’t want to go,” Dan whined. Jacob sighed. He knew that Dan was almost broken down to going, once he started whining.

“Too bad,” Jacob said.

~`~

“Ashley!” Jacob called. Ashley turned from where he was talking to his cast mates. A look of absolute shock stole over his face.

“Jacob?” he said. He smiled and walked over. His ex band mate wrapped him in a hug.

“How is it going?” Jake asked.

“It’s good. Very good.” Ashley replied. Jake let go of him and stepped back.

“You look good,” he said. Ashley smirked.

“I always did. Can’t say that I like the way you look now, Jacob,” Ashley said. Jacob looked stunned. The rest of the group walked up, Erik and Trevor pulling Dan, who looked sullen and angry. “Nor anyone else, for that matter.”

“What… what happened to you?” Trevor asked. “You were nice?”

“That was before,” Ashley replied. “Can you please stop Mike from calling me? Either of the Mikes. I’m not coming back. I’m not going to rejoin the group, and I’m not going to consider getting back with Dan—“

“I don’t want you!” Dan cried, interrupting.

“I’m glad,” Ashley said. “Now I’m going back over there, with my boyfriend and my costars, and you’re going to forget who I am, okay? The music stops now.”

“Why do you have to be like this?” Jacob asked him.

“Be like what? This is who I am.” Ashley replied, before walking away.

They stood there for a long moment, watching their former friend walk into the theatre with the people from his new life.

“I told you I didn’t want to come,” Dan said.

“I wish we hadn’t,” Jacob said.

“Well, we’re here,” Erik said. “So lets watch the movie.”

Jacob sighed and headed inside. Trevor shrugged and pulled Dan along with them.

~`~

Dan was walking along a sidewalk a few months afterward, security in tow. He spotted a dark haired man coming out of a store ahead of him.

As the man approached, walking with a curly headed blond who couldn’t have been anything but a boyfriend, Dan recognized him.

Ashley looked directly into Dan’s eyes as they walked past each other, and time, if at no other place in his life, stopped. Dan felt the pieces of his heart, shattered when Ashley had left, torn apart even further. It burned.

Ashley’s eyes left his as they passed. The other man never looked back, even as Dan turned and walked backward for a few paces. He saw Ashley’s boyfriend slide an arm around Ashley’s waist, saw Ashley laugh. Saw Ashley happy, when Dan himself was not.

Dan turned back around and kept walking. This wasn’t worth the pain he was making it. It was over, and it had been over for more than a year. It was time he treated it like that.

The music stopped.

And he was able to heal.

 

The End

 

Operative V:  Forever Hold Your Peace
By:  Julie

I waited to go back into the building. I was a little scared, I guess. Happy that Dan hadn’t followed me, and scared of what Heath was going to say.

I opened the door and stepped inside. The pizza was still sitting on the table, where Heath had placed it when he’d come in probably ten minutes before. The lights were out, and the room was silent.

Normally if I came in after he’d already gone to bed, I’d have to turn off the radio. I’d never heard it be so silent when I came in. It sort of worried me.

“Heath?” I whispered. I heard a sniff.

“Thought you were pissed,” Heath said. He was buried under my blankets on the bed. I hadn’t noticed him.

“I wasn’t pissed,” I said. I walked over and sat down next to him, leaning against him, favoring my injured side. “I’m scared.”

“Of what?” He asked. “Dying?”

“Sort of,” I replied. It had been so much easier to yell it all at Dan, because had known some of it anyway. But Heath didn’t.

“You’ve never been afraid of dying before,” He said.

“I’ve never been in love with you before.”

Heath’s eyes widened, then he blinked.

“What?” He asked.

“You remember back… when…” I started. I took a deep breath and tried again. “You remember when Josh died?” I asked him. He nodded his head. “Do you remember how I felt when that happened? How I acted?”

“You cried, for, um, days. I remember.” He said.

“When I asked you how you would feel if I had died…” I said, stretching out next to him and running my fingers through his hair. “And what you said… I’ve been so scared, Heath. I don’t want to lose you like I did him.”

“That’s why you freaked out? And why you ran away?” Heath asked. He reached out and pulled me closer to him.

“That’s why I’ve done everything that I have. I’ve tried so hard to push you away from me, but I couldn’t,” I said. “And you know, Dan followed you back here, and when I went out there, he chased me down and made me talk.”

“And?” Heath said. I kissed his neck.

“He made me admit that I was freaked out because I’m in love with you. And it scares me.” I told him.

“Why does it scare you?” Heath asked.

“I don’t want to lose you,” I told him.

“Ashley,” Heath said. I shook my head. I felt dizzy.

“I don’t,” I repeated. Heath kissed me, his lips lingering on mine.

“I know,” Heath said, holding my face between his hands.

XxXx

“This is weird,” I said.

“Mm.” Heath said. His fingers rubbed the back of my head. “Yeah.”

Operatives wandered around the room. I played with a wrinkle in the fabric of Heath’s sweat pants. His hand was warm through the fabric of my shirt. Some of the guys gave us weird looks. Heath started channel surfing.

I poked his leg. “Come ON, baby,” I said. “Stop the surfing.”

Heath surfed. Guys glared, snickered, and looked disgusted.

“Oh shit! Go back!” I cried. Heath ignored me and kept surfing. “Heath,” I whined. “Please!”

“Why?” he asked. I reached for the remote.

“Cute boys!” I said. I slid across his lap and reached for the remote, trying to get it from him as he held it away. “Heath!”

Guys were staring now. Heath was grinning, moving the remote further away from my hands.

“Cuter than me?” Heath asked. I looked at him and rolled my eyes.

“Yes! Because the cute boys on the TV aren’t keeping me from the remote!” I told him.

“Now you’re really not going to get it,” Heath told me.

“You’re mean,” I said. Heath looked at me for a minute before standing up and dumping me on the floor. I shrieked. “Ow!”

“Come and get it operative-boy,” Heath said, holding the remote out.

“You are way dead,” I cried.

“Only if you can catch me,” Heath said.

I got to my feet and dove at Heath, who jumped over the back of the couch. I scrambled over and followed him, chasing him across the room. I grabbed him around the waist and he let go of the remote, turning and tackling me to the floor.

“I kind of like it like this,” Heath said.

“This kind of hurts my side,” I told him. He shifted his weight, and I tried to get away.

“Nooo,” Heath said. “You wanted cute boys.”

“And I got you!” I cried, laughing.

“I’m cute,” he said.

“No,” I said. “You’re beautiful.”

“That’s demeaning,” Heath told me.

“Handsome then.” I conceded. “Let me up before we make a mess.”

“Is that a threat?”

“Does it sound like one?”

“Umm…”

“Ledger!” Richardson’s voice boomed from above us.

“Looks like I’m getting it this time,” Heath whispered to me.

“Angel,” Richardson said, his voice twice as threatening.

“Or not,” Heath said.

“Both of you get off the floor,” he said.

Heath and I stood.

“I’ve put up with this for a long time,” Richardson said. “I’ve tolerated you two and your little public displays, and really, I’m sick of every time I see you, seeing you wrapped around each other! It’s sick!”

“How is it sick?” I asked him. I felt dizzy again, and not in the nice way I felt when Heath was kissing me either.

“You’re both grown men!” Richardson shouted. “You’re past the point of experimentation!”

“I’m not experimenting,” Heath said.

“Neither am I,” I said. “Look, Kevin, I’ve always been like this. It’s not like it’s something new.”

“You’ve never been blatantly public before,” Kevin hissed. “There are people here who are disgusted.”

“Then they can leave,” Heath said. “Or better yet, let us leave. Let us go out and be normal.”

“You’ll never be normal.” Kevin snapped.

“I am normal,” I cried.

“Ashley, you’re twenty. You’ve killed more people than you’ve lived years,” Kevin said. “You’ve never been with a woman. Bullets that were meant to take your life killed your last boyfriend. You will NEVER be normal.”

That hurt. I felt sick and my knees were weak. Josh had died… and it was supposed to have been me? That was my fault?

Heath swung at Kevin. Heath was younger, faster, and stronger, I knew, but Kevin didn’t even move. On a regular day, it wouldn’t have been a minute before Heath had Kevin on the floor, possibly unconscious. But Heath wasn’t thinking. I knew that he wasn’t.

Dan ended up being the one that intervened. I sank to the floor, my hands over my mouth. I didn’t know what I was trying to hold back, the hysterical giggles that threatened to bubble forth, or the screams, or maybe I was going to throw up.

“He doesn’t look so hot,” I remember someone saying.

“He’s passing out,” someone else said.

“Ashley? Ash, can you hear me?” That was Heath, I knew. I tried to tell him that I was okay, but the words wouldn’t come out. Nothing would come out. “God, I’m sorry,” I heard him say faintly.

I don’t remember any more.

XxXx

When I woke up, I was in unfamiliar territory. Like, in a real hospital room.

I hyperventilated. No, no, no. They hadn’t sent me away? Sent me to some place that WASN’T the compound, some place that I didn’t belong, had they?

Heath was sleeping on his stomach on a cot against the wall. He looked uncomfortable.

“Heath,” I whispered. He half opened his eyes.

“Yeah?” he asked.

“Where are we?” I asked.

“Northern compound,” Heath replied. I blinked.

“Excuse me,” I asked.

“Northern compound,” Heath repeated.

“Why?” I asked.

“After the thing with Richardson, they sent us here. Couldn’t deal with us, I guess.” Heath said. “They sent Wade and Dan too, if you were wondering.”

“No.” I said. Heath nodded unhappily.

The northern compound was the last place any of us ever wanted to be sent. Operative just… didn’t come back from the northern compound.

I sat up. “What now?” I asked.

“They aren’t as lenient out here,” Heath said. “As far as it goes here, I’m not your boyfriend.”

I winced. “That fucking sucks.”

“Yeah.”

“I don’t want it to be like that. I want it to be like it always was.”

“We could try?” Heath suggested.

“Guess we’re gonna have to.” I said.

“Yup,” He agreed.

“Can I get up?” I asked.

“No,” he said.

“You suck.”

“Point being?”

“Agh. Please?”

“I’ll think about it.

I whistled for about two seconds. “Thought about it enough?” I asked.

“I guess,” he said.

“C’mere.” I said.

“Sure.” He said, then crawled into the bed with me.

I assumed that things would be more peaceful away from Kevin.

I never counted on things getting a whole lot worse.

 

The End

 

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