Ten 

January 1997 

“I have an idea,” Chris said, pulling Joey and Lance in close.

“Hmm?” Joey said, waving and winking at a girl walking by. They were in a park for a photo shoot. JC and Justin were shooting baskets not far away.

“Let's get Justin a hooker for his birthday.”

Lance pulled back in shock, his heart bouncing up and down in time with Justin's basketball. “What is it with you and the gift of sex?” Joey asked, shaking his head. “You're impossible. And it's not as easy here as it is in Europe.”

“I don't think it's a good idea,” Lance ventured, and Chris stared at him.

“And why not? He's gonna be sixteen. He should have something special.”

“Maybe he doesn't WANT that,” Lance said. “Maybe he wants to find someone on his own. Maybe he doesn't want the cheapness of a prostitute!”

“And what's wrong with sex for money?” Chris snapped.

“Was YOUR first time with a hooker?” Lance said, and Chris didn't answer. “Was YOURS?” Lance turned to Joey, who shook his head. “Thank you. Even if you didn't stay with that person, they mean something to you. That's why I say no.”

“Is that why you said no in Europe?” Chris asked. Lance nodded. “I'm sorry,” Chris said, and Lance stared at him. Chris had done all kinds of things to “make up” for that incident, but this was the first time Chris had apologized and sounded sincere.

“We'll just have a party for him,” Joey said. “We'll have a kickass party for him. That will make him happy.”

“Anything that puts Justin in the center of attention makes him happy,” Lance said, and Chris and Joey laughed. “We have three weeks to plan something great, anyway.” 

“You're kidding me,” JC whispered, staring at Lou. “We have to go BACK?”

“They loved you there. It's a good business move,” Lou said. “Are you talking back to me, Joshua?”

“N-no,” JC said, his head hanging. He had hated Europe. Except for the art and history, it generally sucked.

Lou put a large hand on JC's shoulder, smiling. “You're everyone's pet, aren't you, Josh? You can explain it to them.”

“When will we go?”

“End of January,” Lou said. “We'll stay through the spring.”

“Okay,” JC said. “Fuck,” he muttered to himself when Lou had finally left.

“Hey, JC, get your skinny self over here! I'm hungry!” Chris yelled as JC left the rehearsal hall. Lance's mouth fell open as he watched Lou leave shortly after JC came out.

“What were you doing in there with him?” Joey almost yelled at JC. “Are you insane?”

“Don't…don't yell, Joe,” JC said, shaking his head.

Justin glared at Joey. “We just worry about you, Jayce,” Justin said comfortingly. “We don't want you hurt.”

“This hurts all of us,” JC said, looking up slowly. “We're going back to Europe for about four months.”

“What?” Chris whined.

“Money,” JC said simply. “We make good money there. Maybe by then we'll come back and they'll have actually HEARD of us here.”

“I don't want to go back to Europe,” Justin said in a small voice.

“None of us do, J,” Joey said, ruffling his hair. “But we'll be together.”

“Do we have to go before my birthday?” Justin asked, looking at JC. JC sighed and nodded. “Great.” Justin climbed into the backseat and pouted. For once, they babied him and left him alone. 

“I was thinking,” Justin said to Lance one day as they began to pack. “Maybe we'll be able to room together again. In Europe.”

“You want to?” Lance asked, shocked. In the time since they had had their little shower scene, he had tried to keep his distance from Justin. JC had noticed, and tried to talk to Lance about it, but Lance kept his mouth shut. He felt that it was wrong to play around with Justin, no matter how good it felt or how much Justin said he wanted it. At sixteen, Lance knew enough about being forced into things to know that he didn't want Justin to feel pressured. At all. And the other problem was that it wasn't fooling around for him. Lance thought about Justin in ways beyond bed. And that scared him.

“Yeah. I thought…did I do something wrong, Lance?” Justin leaned back against the door of their bedroom, closing it. “You…you haven't wanted to…um…in forever. Did I do it wrong?”

“Hell, no!” Lance said.

“I just…I thought I did something wrong…that I wasn't good. You haven't even kissed me.”

“You don't want a boyfriend,” Lance said almost accusingly.

“Right, but I thought we agreed…oh, nevermind.” Justin turned back to his suitcase and started throwing things into it. “You're right. I want a girl. I want to have sex with a girl. You're right.”

Lance stared at Justin's back. “You're crying.”

“No, I'm not.” Justin's hand angrily wiped at his eyes. “I said, nevermind. I don't want to talk about it.”

Lance grabbed Justin by the shoulder. “Tell me.”

“You don't want me,” Justin said simply, and Lance read it all in his eyes. Justin felt like a failure. He felt rejected.

“That is NOT it at all,” Lance said, wanting to jump up and down and yell. “You're right, Justin. You want a girlfriend. I'll just confuse you.”

“But it was fun,” Justin said, pouting in a way that made Lance smile. “It felt good.”

“Some touching and one hand job?”

“No one's…I've never…you're the first, Lance,” Justin whispered shyly. “And I'm sixteen. Don't you think I should be having sex, or something?”

Lance had to laugh at the hopefulness in Justin's voice. “So I'm to be used to break the baby's cherry?”

“That's not it at ALL!” Justin yelled, annoyed until he saw Lance's smirk. “Shut up,” Justin muttered. “I'm NOT a baby. And I'm not trying to use you…I thought…we agreed…”

“We weren't using each other,” Lance promised. “And you think it's fun being almost eighteen and being a virgin? At least you can run out there and find a girl…it's a bit harder for me.”

“We could…uh…” Justin stammered.

“No. Not ready for that yet.” Lance took a step back. “I need to tell you something, Justin. Chris wants to get you a…a prostitute…for your birthday.”

“REALLY?” Justin looked shocked, pleased and embarrassed all at once. “Really?”

“If that's what you want,” Lance said sadly. “I mean, they got me one one night, but I freaked and left. Only JC knows why…and you.”

“Oh,” Justin said sympathetically.

“But even if I DID go that way…I don't want my first time to be like that. But it's up to you, Justin. I'm sure he'd still do it for you, if you wanted.”

“Yeah,” Justin said thoughtfully. “But you're right. Besides, when we're rich and famous, I can get it whenever and wherever I want.”

“Right,” Lance said, shaking his head and sighing.

“So…you and me…maybe?” Justin asked. Lance took in the blue eyes and full lips and sighed. How could he keep saying no to that?

Eleven