Nineteen

“I have an idea!” Britney said, clutching Lance's arm. “It's not very often we're all together…let's go out tonight! Me and Justin, and you and whoever you're seeing, and JC and his girl, and…”

“Brit, I don't think that's a very good idea,” Justin interrupted, and she stopped talking. Lance realized that Justin hadn't told her about JC and Lance.

“But we could grab a bite and go dancing,” she said, pouting. “I know you don't want to tell the world about us, Justin, but, c'mon! You guys need SOMETHING to cheer you up. Maybe Joey and Kelly or whoever his flavor of the month could come.”

“Uh…” Lance said, not knowing quite WHAT to say.

“Babe, lemme talk to you for a sec, okay?” Justin said. He took her arm and led her out of his living room and into the kitchen.

“What's going on?” JC asked, returning from the bathroom. He and Lance had come over to hang out with Justin and Britney, at Justin's request. He still didn't know quite how to deal with a full-time girlfriend, and he preferred to hang out with her in a group.

“Britney wanted us all to go out. Her and Justin, me and my current girlfriend, and you and YOUR girl.”

“So you're my girl now?” JC asked, amused. Lance didn't smile.

“Apparently Justin didn't tell her, and apparently the way we act together isn't obvious enough,” Lance said.

“Oh.” JC sat down next to Lance. “Do you care if she knows?”

“No…of course not. I expect Chris to tell Dani and I know Joey already told Kelly. I don't care about the people who are close to us. And Britney is one of us, so I thought.”

“I wonder why Justin hasn't told her,” JC mused. “I mean, I thought he of all people would be okay with this.”

“Thank you,” Lance said softly. JC stared at him.

“For what?”

“For never telling Joey and Chris about me and Justin…and for not teasing us about it.”

“Lance, why would I tell? And why would I make fun of you?” JC rubbed his finger back and forth along a wrinkle in his jeans. “I've known I was gay forever…but my first time with another man wasn't that good…and then there was the whole Lou thing…I was just glad you two found each other and could experience things slowly.”

“But we're not both gay,” Lance corrected.

“Right,” JC said. He looked at Lance. Lance looked at him. JC leaned forward and slowly rubbed his nose against Lance's. Lance giggled and blushed, ducking his head into the curve of JC's neck.

“Oh…sorry…” Justin threw up his hands as he entered the living room. “I'm, uh, sorry.”

“It's okay.” JC pulled back and leaned against Lance's shoulder. “Is she okay?”

“Yeah. I, uh, I guess it slipped my mind to tell her.”

“We can leave,” Lance said, his eyes boring holes in Justin's face.

“No! I think we SHOULD go out tonight. It'd be fun. She has to learn to deal with it. She's not, like, grossed out or anything. Just, uh, surprised.”

“I don't think I WANT to go out tonight, now that I think about it,” Lance said suddenly, and JC looked at him in surprise. “I think I'd rather just stay in with JC. We're always out and about now, proving that this whole lawsuit thing isn't bothering us. I need some peace and quiet.”

“Oh, okay,” Justin said, looking disappointed. “Maybe another time.”

“Maybe,” Lance said vaguely.  

“Not that I mind spending time alone with you, but that was kinda surprising,” JC said later as they relaxed on JC's bed. “I thought…I thought you were okay spending time with them.”

“I am, but I wanted to be with you. Is that a crime?” Lance asked, his fingers slowly unbuttoning JC's shirt.

“Uh, Lance, what are you doing?” JC whispered.

“Getting you naked,” Lance explained patiently. He ran a hand over JC's smooth chest and JC shivered. Lance licked at JC's neck. “Totally naked, eventually.”

“Oh, really?” JC said weakly, his own hands fisting in Lance's shirt.

“Yeah.” Lance's voice was low in JC's ear as he undid the button of JC's jeans. “I want you.”

“I see that.” JC gulped as Lance's hand flittered over his cock. Lance pulled off his own shirt and moved to lay over JC's body.

“Want you inside me,” Lance whispered, kissing JC as he thrust against JC's leg. “Want you to be my first.”

“But I thought…you and Justin…God, Lance…” JC groaned as Lance's tongue slithered down to lap at a nipple.

“We did…but I always…I want you inside me,” Lance repeated, hoping JC would get the hint.

“I thought…we were going to wait…” JC panted, arching up to meet Lance's body.

“Don't wanna wait.” Lance shoved at JC's pants, eager to have JC naked.

“Oh…God…” JC fisted his hands in Lance's hair, pulling him up for a passionate kiss. 

Lance ran a hand along the line of JC's shoulder, watching him sleep. JC was beautiful even at rest, his body long and lean and glowing in the dim light of the bedroom. Lance knew he should feel incredibly lucky to have someone like this in his life. The sex had been incredible; JC knew just how to take things slow and delicious and perfect. Lance hoped that he had been that gentle with Justin.

Lance closed his eyes, feeling a teardrop tremble at the surface. He hated himself for even thinking about Justin at a moment like this. The only problem was that it wasn't the first time that evening that he had thought about him.

“Hey,” JC whispered, reaching up to wipe the tear away. “It's okay, you know. You don't know how many times I picked someone and then closed my eyes, imagining someone else's face and someone else's body. It's easy, especially after a while.”

“I don't know what you're talking about.” Lance smiled sweetly and bent to kiss JC's forehead.

“You called me J, Lance,” JC said softly. “Not Josh, not Jayce, not JC.”

“I what?” Lance said, shocked. JC smiled a kind smile.

“It's okay. Really. It didn't really hurt.” JC ducked his head, wiping at a tear of his own. “Because at one point, when my eyes were closed and my hands were in your hair, I almost called you Joey.”

“We are so fucked up,” Lance whispered. “I want to be happy with you, JC.”

“I know, Lance. But it's okay. We just need to stop fighting it and move on.” JC pulled Lance close so they were snuggled together. “This is amazing…sex with you was amazing. But you and I are just gonna be friends.”

“I don't want to be alone anymore,” Lance said quietly, and JC felt tears on his arm.

“You won't be. I'm here for you as long as you need me.” 

Lance opened the door and was shocked to see Justin on the other side. “Justin, hey.”

“Hi, Lance. Hope you don't mind me barging in like this…me and Chris played ball, and I was on my way back,” Justin said, mopping at his sweaty forehead.

“Come on in…just don't drip on anything.” Lance moved aside.

“You're such a pal,” Justin said wryly, then grinned. “I just wanted to apologize, about Britney.”

“You have nothing to apologize for.” Lance went to the kitchen to get Justin a glass of water.

“I thought…I don't know. I thought if I told her about you and JC, that she'd somehow guess about me.”

“Guess what about you?” Lance handed Justin the glass, keeping his face calm.

“Guess that you and I…uh, you know…”

“That we fucked?” Lance said bluntly, and Justin blushed a little.

“It was more than that,” Justin insisted.

“Was it?” Lance asked calmly. Justin drew back.

“Uh, well, no, I guess not. I just…I didn't know how to tell her.”

“But now she knows and it's all fixed, right?” Lance looked at the clock. “I was gonna go run for a while. Was there anything else?”

“I didn't know you jogged,” Justin said.

“I don't. I run. At the track by the high school. It works off steam.”

“Take it easy, Lance. You're not in the best of shape right now, and your heart…”

“My heart's fine,” Lance snapped, and he meant it more than just in the physical sense. “That's all healed.”

“Okay.” Justin gave him a worried look. “I'll go, then.”

“Okay. I'll see you at the meeting with the attorneys on Friday.”

“Right.” Justin gave him another look. “Lance, you know that you don't need to run the damn case for us, right? We like you just as you are, as one of the guys.”

“I know. I like getting involved,” Lance said. “I like keeping busy.”

“Right,” Justin said. “But soon we'll be busy in the studio and rehearsals again, so you just be ready.”

“I will,” Lance promised, hating the awkwardness between them. Justin gave him his sunny smile.

“See you Friday.” Justin let himself out, and Lance slowly went to find his sneakers, intent on taking the run he had suddenly decided on.

Twenty