Twenty-One

“I have an idea,” Chris said. “Let's work on that Richard Marx song. You up to it, Justin?”

“Yeah.” Justin ran a hand through his hair. They had been running over songs for the new album for over three hours, and he and JC carried the leads.

“I like this song,” JC said, sighing. “I want to write like this.”

“You DO,” Lance told him. “I wish you could hear it.”

“Must be nice having your own cheerleader twenty-four seven, huh, Jayce?” Chris said.

“I'd LOVE to have a cheerleader around all the time,” Joey said. “A blond…short skirt…”

“That wasn't what he meant,” Justin snapped, and Lance noticed him trying not to glare at JC.

“Well, now JC can sing this song and think of Lance, and all the little girls will think he's closing his eyes and thinking of THEM,” Chris teased. “Perfect.”

“Well, actually…” JC began weakly.

“Actually, me and JC aren't together anymore,” Lance interrupted. Everyone's mouth fell open, including JC's. It had been a month since Lance's little episode on the track, and nothing else had been said about announcing their “break up.” Lance had told no one about what Justin had said in the hospital room, choosing to ignore it. “We're just friends.”

“Really?” Joey looked at JC. “And you were gonna tell us when?”

“Lance just did,” JC said, trying to look like he had expected this. “It's just, ya know, not right.”

“Okay. Well, sorry,” Chris said. “Want you guys happy and all.”

“JC's great, but it's not what makes me happy,” Lance said quietly. He watched Justin fiddle with his pile of notes.

“Yeah,” JC agreed, trying not to look at Joey.

“Well, JC, you'll just have to think of someone else when you sing “This I Promise You,” then, right?” Chris said.

“I can think of someone,” JC said, and Lance squeezed his knee sympathetically. 

“Hey, Lance,” Justin said, sliding into the booth next to Lance. “Why aren't you out there dancing?”

“Don't feel like it.” Lance stirred his drink.

“How many have you had?” Justin asked, concerned. Lance had been depressed ever since the admission that he and JC were no longer together, and Justin wondered if maybe Lance had regretted the breakup.

“Why do you care?” Lance's green eyes were calm as he studied Justin's face. “Why don't you go pick up another little whore out there? That's what you do, right?”

“Lance, what the fuck?” Justin asked, hurt.

“You have this hot girlfriend that everyone wants to get with, yet you feel the need to bang as many girls as possible. What are you doing? Proving you're the stud? Proving you only like girls? You're the one that wanted the girlfriend, Justin.”

“Lance, what, where…what's this all about?” Justin whispered.

“I heard you in my hospital room, Justin. I heard that you're confused and that you miss me. But it doesn't matter, does it? You don't care enough. You care more about what you're SUPPOSED to be than what we COULD be.” Lance slammed back the rest of his drink and stood, leaning on the table so he could talk near Justin's ear. “I have fucking loved you since I was sixteen. We fooled around, but to me, it was so much more. But I let you go, because as you kept saying, you're not gay. You want women. And you keep getting them, don't you. What would you think if I told you I hooked up with JC to try and replace you? That I was with him so I wouldn't be alone?” Lance stared down at Justin, swaying slightly. “I guess I was your first whore, wasn't I?” Lance pushed his way out of the booth and headed for the door.

Justin scrambled to his feet and went to find JC on the dance floor. “JC, I need you!”

“What's wrong, J?” JC turned from the beautiful blond woman he was dancing with.

“Lance…he's drunk…and he just burst outta here…and he said…he said…”

“Whoa.” JC stopped dancing and tapped Joey on the shoulder. “I'm taking the babies home.”

“Gotcha.” Joey didn't even stop dancing.

“What did he say?” JC yelled over his shoulder as they headed for the door.

“He said he's a whore and he loves me and that he used you and…” Justin babbled.

“Okay, okay, Justin. Calm down.” JC sighed and ran a hand across Justin's hair. “He'll go home. We'll make sure he's okay.”

JC called them a cab and they hurried into the backseat. “I didn't know, Jayce, I SWEAR. I didn't know he felt…that way.”

“You're sure?” JC said, raising an eyebrow.

“Well, I mean, I knew he liked me. Don't you have to like someone at least a little to have sex with them?” Justin asked, and JC smiled.

“Not always, Justin.”

“I…I…” Justin looked into JC's kind blue eyes. “I love him, JC. I told him that, when he was in the hospital, but I thought he was sleeping. Britney's not him, JC. I'm not gay, though…I like women. But Lance…he just…he smiles or talks to me or praises me and I feel so amazing.”

“You're bi, Justin. It's possible, you know.”

“But he loves me, JC? How can he love me? I mean, you, I could understand. You're talented and handsome and you're sexy…I'm the stupid one who dumped him for a girl.”

“Justin, trust me. Sometimes you love people and you just can't help yourself.” JC put a hand on Justin's arm. “Lance has loved you so long, I don't think he would even know how to stop. You just need to think about what you're going to do next. You either have to come some kind of terms with your feelings, or you need to tell him something to let him go, once and for all.”

“Did…did you ever tell Joey?” Justin said softly. JC looked out the window.

“No. But the situation is different. We never did anything…and I have never EVER gotten the vibe that he would love me back.” JC looked back at Justin. “You two have a chance.”

Twenty - Two