Twenty-Two 

 

“I have an idea,” Justin said quietly into his cellphone. “Why don't you just do the tracks that you don't need me on? Seriously…JC can do all his and…yes, I know. JC sings…whatever. Look, I won't be in today, and either will Lance. He's sick. How do I know? I'm at his damn house. Just do it without us. We'll be in tomorrow. Bye.” Justin hung up and stretched, trying to crack the stiffness out of his neck. 

Lance woke up, holding his head and moaning. He sat up and blinked hard, looking around his room. He tried to remember the night before. He had consumed a lot at the bar, and then he had come home and found a bottle of Jack Daniels in the cupboard. He saw the empty bottle on his dresser and winced. Lance swung his legs over the side of the bed and slowly stretched. He saw a cup of water and a bottle of aspirin on his nightstand and sighed. At least he had thought enough to prepare for the nightmare of the next morning.

Lance pulled on sweats and a tshirt and opened his bedroom door. He sniffed and froze. He might have prepared aspirin, but he KNEW he didn't have a timer on his coffeemaker. He slowly made his way downstairs, blinking against the light that came in through the living room curtains. He looked at his living room sofa. A blanket and pillow were balled up in a corner, and a pair of familiar large sneakers was lying on the floor. Lance headed for the kitchen.

Justin looked up from the newspaper. “Uh, hi. I made coffee…I don't know if you want some or not.”

“Thank you.” Lance made his way to the coffee and poured himself a cup. He looked at Justin. “Did you stay here?”

“Uh, yeah. I hope you don't mind. I was worried about you, even though you were up in your room when I got here. I tried knocking on your door, but you didn't answer, so I just crashed on the sofa.”

“Thank you. Sorry.” Lance sat down at the table. “Why did you follow me home?”

“We need to talk about what you said last night. Do you remember?”

“Uh…” Lance drew a blank, something he didn't usually do after drinking. Maybe he had blocked it out. He looked at Justin. Justin's blue eyes were patient and worried and full of…was it hope? “Oh, no. Did I say something about feeling something for you?”

“Are you saying it wasn't true?” Justin looked disappointed.

“What did I say, exactly?”

“That you loved me. That you were only with JC because you didn't want to be alone. And you accused me of some things that were pretty damn true, actually,” Justin admitted.

“I said all that?” Lance remembered bits and pieces and buried his head in his hands.

“You also told me that you heard me in the hospital that day.” Justin touched Lance's arm. “Lance…you were right. I pulled away because I was afraid. But…I love you. I am IN love with you.” Justin's hand shook slightly. “It scares the hell outta me. I don't love Britney this way. I never loved anyone this way.”

Lance slowly looked up. “You're telling me…”

“I love you.” Justin looked down at the table. “And, you know, we need to decide what to do about it. I mean, we can just turn and walk away, God knows it's the easy thing to do. But if you wanted to…uh…”

“You're telling me that you want us to be together. Like a couple. Like…boyfriends?” Lance stared at Justin.

“I guess, I mean, we're not…who am I kidding. That's exactly what I want.” Justin looked at Lance. “It's not something we can advertise…and I'll probably have to keep up this thing with Britney…and eventually tell her about us…but if I have you, Lance, I'm willing to try. I'm just afraid.”

“I don't believe this.” Lance stood up and rubbed his eyes. “Am I dreaming?”

“You said last night…you loved me…but I guess you don't?” Justin asked sadly. “Well, maybe it's best. I mean, now you can…”

“Shut up.” Lance fell to his knees in front of Justin, grabbing Justin's face in his hands. “I do love you. Fuck, but I love you.” He crushed his lips to Justin's before Justin even knew what was happening. “I love you too much. I love you so much it hurts. And you want me?”

“Want you…love you…need you…” Justin wrapped his arms around Lance and hugged him. “Love you.”

“Oh, my God…” Lance whispered, putting his arms around Justin and holding on for dear life.

“No one else, Lance, I swear,” Justin promised. “You're the only one who's ever meant anything.”

“God…” Lance buried his face in Justin's neck. “I can't believe this.”

“Believe it.” Justin pulled away and blinked hard, smiling as he wiped at Lance's cheeks. “Crybaby.”

“YOU'RE the baby,” Lance reminded him. Justin stood up, pulling Lance up with him.

“This won't be easy. There will be a lot of hiding, and a lot of lying.”

“I don't care. I want to be with you.” Lance rubbed his fingers over Justin's hand. “We just need to tell Joey and Chris, though.”

“Right.” Justin nodded.

“And JC,” Lance added.

“He's the one who kicked my ass into gear last night,” Justin said. “But we can do all that later.” Lance looked at him questioningly. “I want you to take me upstairs and make love to me.”

“Oh,” Lance said weakly. Justin pressed against him, kissing him. Lance's headache was long forgotten as the rest of his body responded. “Okay.”

“Hate having to twist your arm,” Justin said with his winning smile. He took Lance's hand and led him upstairs. 

“Wait a minute…you're telling me that you and JUSTIN are together?” Chris stared at Lance. “What about JC?”

“Justin and I took a few detours,” Lance said, smiling at Justin.

“I had no idea,” Joey murmured. “We're happy for you, I guess, but…damn.”

“It took Justin a while to catch that idea himself,” Lance said, and Justin playfully glared at him.

“About damn time,” JC sighed, getting up to fill his glass of lemonade.

“About damn time,” Lance repeated softly as Justin moved to sit in his lap. 

The End

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