Eight 

 

“Maybe it'll look good, man,” JC said, curling up next to Lance on the couch.

Justin smiled. After all the time that JC and Lance had officially been together, it was still a shock to see how well the two of them fit together. It was almost like they became one person when they got close. Justin envied them.

“How?” Justin asked.

“Ya know…throwing off the old ball and chain, starting a solo career.”

“I am NOT starting a solo career,” Justin reminded him. “Going into the studio to record does not mean I'm ditching you guys.”

“SURE it doesn't,” Lance and JC said together. Justin rolled his eyes.

“Whatever.”

“Look, J, we each have our own thing going. Joey's gonna try Broadway, I'm trying to get into space…” Lance rolled his eyes. “And you're trying this. You're the one, Justin. If any of us is gonna go solo, it's you.”

“Really, J. He's right.” JC yawned and moved to put his head in Lance's lap. Lance sighed and pretended to be offended.

“Is “JC Chasez's Personal Pillow” tattooed on my ass?”

“If anyone would know, I would,” JC said tiredly.

“Too much information for the baby,” Justin said, covering his ears. Lance hooted.

“Anyway, J…” JC continued in a soft voice “If you don't think this thing is right with Britney, you just need to do it. And you can always turn it to your advantage…like you're throwing off all the things that hold you back.”

“A little bit of business-savvy from the sensitive one,” Lance said, playing with one of JC's curls. “Impressive.” JC turned his head to bite Lance's thigh and Lance yelped.

“I don't know WHAT I want,” Justin said. “I'm all about going into the studio, and I feel like…like I don't have enough to give her. I love her…but it's not what I want anymore.”

JC sat up and looked Justin in the eye. “Always be honest, Justin. Sometimes it hurts people, but it's better in the end.”

“And you guys AREN'T holding me back,” Justin said, referring to JC's earlier statement.

“Hey, speaking of moving forward, guess who ELSE is in the studio right now?” Lance said. “I heard it through the grapevine…Nick Carter.” 

“Yes, yes, yes…” Nick said, writing quickly and nodded. “Damn that's good…wonder if it's too late to ask them to use this?”

A pounding on his door made him jump. He got up and answered it. “Nick.” Justin coldly shoved past Nick and went into the house.

“Hello to you, too, stranger. Where the hell have you been?” Nick exclaimed. “I called you twice.”

“I was preparing to go into the studio.” Justin turned and glared at Nick. “Which, I hear, you are, too.”

“Yeah! I'm so excited about it.” Nick did a double-take as he looked at Justin's face. “Shit…you're pissed.”

“Uh, yeah.” Justin smacked the hallway wall. “You weren't gonna tell me? This is Germany all over again!”

“I mentioned the possibility to you,” Nick said evasively.

“The POSSIBILITY!” Justin repeated.

“I didn't lie to you, Justin,” Nick said. Justin raised an eyebrow in a motion that would have made Lance proud. “I was actually afraid you'd overreact. Funny, why'd I think that?”

“Don't turn this back on me, Nick. If I was really your friend, you'd have told me.”

“Don't you see why I didn't want to?” Nick yelled. “Look what the simple idea is doing to us now! When we finish the albums, and they start to get promoted, all hell will break loose. Everyone will start to compare us. We'll have to make lameass remarks to the press about how we're going in totally different directions with our music, but that we still respect the other person. You think that's gonna be easy?” Nick ran a hand through his hair. “Jesus, Justin…you're practically my best friend, and I can't tell anyone. Now I need to act like you're just another singer, doing just another CD, and I have to pretend that I could give a rat's ass what you think about my work. And I DO care. I care a lot.”

“Nick…”

“NO. You don't come bursting into my house and call me a liar. Fuck that.” Nick made a fist and headed for the wall, but a hand on his shoulder stopped him just in time.

“You need to stop going after innocent walls,” Justin said quietly. “Hit me if you want…at least I won't hurt your hand as much.” He tightened his hold on Nick's shoulder. “Nick, I'm sorry. You're right. I shouldn't have just burst in here like that, screaming like a fool. I was just…I was hurt you didn't say anything. You're so excited, and it's what you want, yet you couldn't share it with me?”

“I was afraid of losing your friendship over it,” Nick said finally. “Damn, Justin, I talk to you almost every day. We've been friends for like seven years or something.”

“You're not losing me,” Justin promised. “Fuck them and everything they say. We're better than that. And I'll be first in line to buy your CD.”

“It's gonna be good,” Nick said. “I feel it. I'm just happy with everything about it.”

“And that's what's important.” Justin gave Nick a hug, sighing as he felt Nick's warm breath on his neck.

“Love you, man,” Nick said, and his heart tightened as he said the casual words.

Nine