Ten 

The morning after had been hell. When Lance had woken up after about three hours of sleep, Justin was sitting on the floor by the sofa, watching him. Lance sat up and ran a hand through his hair.

“Do, uh, do you want breakfast?” Justin asked timidly.

“No, thank you. I need a shower and my own bed.” Lance closed his eyes.

“I'm sorry, Lance. I…”

“Don't apologize, Justin.” Lance stood. “We both wanted it, we were both in the wrong.”

“But if Josh hadn't called…”

“We won't think about what might have happened if Josh hadn't called,” Lance snapped. Justin looked down at his hands. “I'm sorry,” Lance said in a gentler voice. “I'm just gonna go, okay? Will you be alright?”

“Sure,” Justin said, attempting his usual cocky grin. “I always am.”

“Good,” Lance whispered. He bent down to kiss Justin's curls. “I'll talk to you later.”

When Lance got back to the apartment, he quietly showered and slipped into bed with Josh. “Hey,” Josh said in a happy voice. He wrapped himself around Lance. “I'm sorry.”

“It's okay,” Lance whispered, momentarily stiffening. “Let's just sleep.”

“Okay. I love you.”

Lance blinked back tears as Josh buried his face in Lance's neck. “I love you, too.” 

Lance started spending all his alone time at school. For a small community college, it had a wonderful library and a nice student center. He'd either read at a table in the student center, or hole himself up at a small desk in the library. It was quiet, and he knew that he couldn't get into trouble there. He didn't go out alone again. Josh wasn't around any more than before, but Lance could ignore it if he was at school, studying.

“Hi.” A handsome man with dark brown hair and brown eyes sat down next to Lance at his table in the student center. He reminded Lance of Joey.

“Hello,” Lance said politely, marking his place in his book with his finger.

“My name is Scott…we're in the same economics class,” Scott said.

“Oh. I'm Lance.” Scott held out his hand and Lance shook it. Scott glanced at the bracelet around Lance's wrist, and Lance blushed.

“Does your boyfriend go here, too?”

“No. He's, uh, older…works two jobs.”

“Ah.” Scott nodded. “I noticed you…noticed your bracelet. I was wondering if you'd be interested in joining a club we have here.”

Lance raised an eyebrow, immediately suspicious. “A club?”

“We have a gay and lesbian club that meets twice a week. I think you'd like it.”

Lance looked Scott over. He looked normal enough, more like himself and Josh than a flaming queen like Justin. “Are you serious?”

Scott smiled sadly. “Let me guess…been lied to by people who just want to kick the shit outta you?”

Lance had to smile back, remembering many instances like that in his hometown. “You can say that again.”

Scott pulled a flyer from his backpack. “I swear to you on Brad Pitt's smile that this is legit.” He handed Scott the flyer. “We're always looking for new people. We just hang out, talk, sometimes go do small demonstrations…nothing crazy.”

“I'll think about it,” Lance said. Scott smiled again.

“And I'm not trying to hit on you. I have a man of my own. He's in acting class right now, though.” Scott stood. “Seriously, think about it, Lance, okay? It was nice meeting you.”

“Nice meeting you, too,” Lance said, waiting for Scott to walk away before looking at the flyer. 

Justin took the opposite approach. He clung to Chris like Velcro. Any time Chris was around, Justin was there. Even if Melody was at her bratty worst, Justin refused to go home. He needed to know that what he had with Chris was special, needed to prove to himself that nothing could break them apart. He needed to prove to himself that he didn't want to be single again.

“Halloween's coming up,” Chris said one night. Melody had just had her bath, and she was running around in her little “Cinderella” nightgown, looking clean and adorable. “We need to find this one a costume.”

“Oh, I guess we do,” Justin said vaguely.

“Is there a party at the club on Halloween night?” Chris asked.

“Yeah, but I don't really wanna go.”

“Of course you do,” Chris said, smiling. True to his word, he had attended the second performance of Justin's new show. One of their neighbors gladly watched Melody for a few hours, since she was sleeping at the time anyway. Chris came every few weeks, and Justin always enjoyed seeing him down in the front of the room as he sang. Lance never came. “How about this…Joey usually tries to avoid the club at Halloween…says all the queens in drag scare him…we'll get him to watch Mel after we take her trick or treating, and then we can go.”

“Sounds great,” Justin said, smiling up at Chris.

“But since YOU'RE the creative one, you get to come up with costumes,” Chris told him. “For all of us.”

“What do you want to be for Halloween?” Justin asked Melody, capturing her and putting her on his lap.

“A pinsess,” Melody told him. Justin smiled.

“A princess, huh? Well, how about me and you and Daddy ALL be princesses?”

“YAY!” Melody shouted, clapping her hands. Chris groaned. 

“Hey!” Lance said in surprise as he came in the door. “What are you doing here?”

“I live here,” Josh said, raising an eyebrow. “I got off early tonight.”

“Sorry…I was at a meeting.” Lance kissed Josh as he hung up his coat.

Lance had grown to really enjoy the meetings at school. He went on Tuesday and Thursdays, staying most of the time until after ten. There were all kinds of people in this club…openly gay men like Justin, more conservative men like himself. He hung out with those people, mostly. There were many lesbians, and one of them introduced herself as the sister of the woman who owned the bookstore where Lance had met Josh.

“You're always at those meetings,” Josh said, only half teasing. “I'm beginning to think they're just big hook-up parties.”

“No,” Lance said quickly. “They're not. I don't hook up with anyone.”

“Okay, Lance, I was just teasing.” Josh held up his hands. “I'm just glad you found something fun to do while I'm at work. As long as your grades don't suffer,” Josh said playfully. That was a joke. Lance had aced everything they had thrown at him so far.

“Well, there's a party,” Lance said shyly. “The night before Halloween. Um, it's not a costume party or anything…I…I thought if you wanted to come, we could go. I want everyone to meet you.”

“Really?” Josh asked. Lance stared at him curiously. “I…I mean, I'm not smart like you, and I'm older and all…”

“For God's sake, Josh. I love you. I talk about you ALL the time. Of COURSE I want them to meet you!” Lance exclaimed. Josh took Lance into his arms and kissed him softly.

“I love you so damn much, Lance. You're everything to me.” Without another word Josh took Lance's hand and led him into the bedroom.

Eleven