Standing Outside the Fire

By:  Lara

 

The man in the denim work shirt and dark blue jeans bent over the piece of notebook paper, chewing his upper lip nervously as he wrote.  It was a painstaking effort; writing did not come easy to him.  The overhead lamp above the tiny kitchen table swung in the breeze from the fan by his side.  Air did not move easily through his cramped apartment.

“Dear Mom,” he said aloud as he wrote.  “Tomorrow is the first day of the end of my life.  I go to jail tomorrow, Mom.  Prison.  All because I did what some guy asked me to.  It’s not my fault, Mom, you have to believe me.”  He chewed his pen for a moment.  “It’s the Feds, Mom.  The Feds.  I didn’t know they would find out how much shit we were running.”  He crossed out the word ‘shit’ and replaced it with ‘stuff.’  “I wasn’t trying to hurt nobody, Mom.  The little man told me to do it.  The little man inside.”  He closed his eyes and pressed his hands against his ears.  The little man was talking again and he couldn’t concentrate.  “I wanted to make enough money to come home to you, Mom.  I would of come home weeks ago but the little man told me to stay and make even more money.”  His beady blue eyes flickered around the room quickly.  Was that a noise?  “I’m stuck in this city waiting to be thrown in jail, and I hate it, Mom.  I can’t let them do that to me.  I can’t let them lock me up, Mom.  I tried to pick a city that was small enough for me to hide…guess I was wrong.  I love you, Mom.  Love you very much.  Your son, Anthony.”  He signed his name in his childish scrawl and folded the letter.  With shaking hands he put the letter in the envelope and carefully sealed it.  He painstakingly wrote out a Missouri address on the envelope, and tucked the envelope in his pocket.  He picked up the box wrapped in white butcher’s paper and grabbed his hat.  He carefully locked the door behind him before walking down the hall, whistling a cheerful tune.

“Yes…Ari…I will be waiting for you at the train station, I swear,” Lara said, tilting back in her chair and closing her eyes.  She held the phone away from her ear as Ari told her exactly what would happen to her if she WASN’T waiting.  “I’m right across the street, wench, I’ll be there.  Talk to you then.  Bye.”  Lara checked the clock.  Ten-thirty.  Cool.  Break time.  “I’m running out to the post office quick, Patty,” she told her supervisor.  Grabbing the letter to Kelley, she grabbed her ID card and wallet and started down the steps.

She quickly walked the two blocks to the post office, located on the first floor of the Federal Building.  She bent down to tie her shoe, and was almost run over by a burly man carrying a package.  “Hey!”  She said in surprise.

“I’m sorry,” he said graciously, helping her to her feet.  He held the door for her but did not come in.  Lara shook her head but went to the stamp machine.

Anthony remembered that he still needed to mail his mother’s letter.  He jogged to a mailbox two blocks away and dropped the letter into the box, then jogged back.  The pretty girl he had tripped over was just walking out the door of the post office.  “I’m sorry,” he said again.

“No problem,” she called over her shoulder.

It’s a pity, Anthony thought to himself.  She’s cute.  He went inside and forced his package into the mail slot, hearing the satisfying thud as it hit the pile of letters below.  He walked as quickly as he could out of the building.  He stood a few feet outside the door and waited.

“Dammit!”  Lara swore.  “I forgot my wallet at the post office.”  She turned around and hurried back up the street towards the post office.  An explosion that was heard two miles away stopped her in her tracks.

“Turn that off, please,” JC said to Justin as Justin turned up the volume on the CD player.  “I wanna watch the news.”

“Okay,” Justin sighed, flipping off the CD player and grabbing the remote for the TV.  The five members of NSYNC were laying around in Lance’s hotel room in New York City.

“I wanna go shopping later.  Anyone up for it?”  Chris asked as he wailed on Joey with a pillow.

“Shopping?  What you could possibly need?”  Justin asked, ducking as a wild pillow came his way.

“He doesn’t need anything.  It’s for JILL,” Lance said, emphasizing her name in a singsong voice.  Chris promptly wailed on HIM with a pillow.

“Yeah, so what if it is?  There’s a jewelry sale at that little boutique next door, and I’d like to get her something nice.  Is that a crime?”

“It will be if you guys don’t shut up so I can hear this!”  JC snapped, turning up the volume on the television.

“You’re just jealous,” Chris continued in a quieter voice.  “Jealous that you don’t have anyone that thinks YOU’RE all that.”

“Jealous that he’s not getting any,” Justin teased.  Lance glared at him.

“As if you’re one to talk, Curly,” Joey jumped in.  “I bet your little sweetie is quite the tease, isn’t she?”

“Shut up, Fatone,” Justin said angrily.  “Don’t talk about Shelley that way.  She is NOT a tease.”

“Then why did I catch you beating off in the shower last week?”  Joey asked.

“Why were you watching?”  Chris and Justin said at the same time, making Lance laugh.

“We’re just taking things slow, that’s all.  We’ve only been together a short time.  There is NO reason to go jumping into bed all the time, Mr. Walking Hormone,” Justin retorted.  Joey simply smiled.

“Let’s just say that my girl is satisfied.”

“Well, she obviously doesn’t get intelligent conversation out of you,” Chris pointed out.  Joey actually looked insulted.  “Come on, Joey, you know I’m just kidding.  It’s just that Alison is practically like a genius or something…you guys are the absolute definition of opposites attract.”

“I’m not THAT dumb,” Joey sulked.

“Guys, shut up.  Look at this,” JC said, turning up the volume even more.

“Here is a live shot from one of our affiliates in Harrisburg.   You can see that the blocks surrounding the explosion site are a mass of dust and rubble,” the newscaster was saying.

“Explosion?  Where?”  Chris sat down by JC.

“Harrisburg, Pennsylvania.  From what they say, it’s near where we’re playing on Sunday.  Like twenty minutes away or something.”

“Damn,” Justin said softly, watching the camera pan across the dust and smoke.

“The reason for the explosion is still being investigated, but all expert opinion points to a bomb, planted in this federal building.  The federal building also houses a post office, and that is where the bomb seems to have been set.”

The five young men looked at each other briefly before staring intently at the television once more.

“What the hell?”  Ari came out of the train station, lugging her bag behind her.  Smoke and dust filled the air, and she immediately began to choke and cough.  “What’s going on?”  She asked someone nearby.

“Bomb went off at the federal building up the street.  We’re lucky…most of the damage is in the other direction.”

“Damn,” Ari muttered.  She looked across the street at the tall building.  Rachel Carson State Office Building, the sign read.  That was Lara’s building.  Ari hurried across the street.  “I need to call upstairs,” she told the security guard.  He handed her the phone.  She dialed the number at Lara’s desk.  The phone rang and rang.  She pulled a notecard out of her bag and dialed the second number Lara had given her, the main number for Lara’s office.  “Um…yes…I’m trying to contact Lara.  Where?  The post office?  It’s…in the federal building?  Oh my God.”  Ari hung up the phone with shaking hands.

“You okay, Miss?”  The guard asked.

“N-no…my friend was at the post office when the explosion happened.”  She looked at him wildly.  “Where would they be taking the people who are hurt?”

Lara tried to open her eyes, but the dust that filled the air seemed to have clogged them shut.  She moaned, but that hurt, so she stopped moaning.  Something heavy was on her right side.  She couldn’t budge the something, and it was crushing her right arm and leg.  She tried to push up with her left hand, but a severe pain shot through her shoulder.  She coughed, internally screaming at the pain that racked through her body. What had happened?  Where was she?

“Wait!  I see a hand here!”  She heard a voice shout.  She fluttered her fingers towards the hand.  “Whoa…she’s one of the lucky ones…she’s on top of all this mess,” the voice said.  “Can you hear me, sweetie?” Lara couldn’t nod.  Nodding hurt.  She fluttered her fingers once more and felt a warm hand grasp them.  “Don’t worry, sweetie.  We’re gonna get you outta here.”  Lara sighed at the soothing comfort in the man’s voice, and allowed the blackness to overtake her once more.

“Excuse me.  Coming THROUGH please!” Ari yelled, shoving through all the people in the waiting room of the Harrisburg Hospital. She finally made it up to the nurses’ desk, panting for breath.

“You want to know if someone’s been brought here from the explosion, right?”  The nurse said before Ari could open her mouth.  Ari nodded.  “Next desk down.  Nurse Ridley has a list of names.  She’s been updating it as they were brought in.”

Ari dashed down to the next window where an older woman with a kind face was checking names on a clipboard.  “Next please,” the woman said.

“Lara…Lara Bruner,” Ari gasped out.

“Let’s see…” the woman ran her finger down the list.  “Oh, yes, here she is.  They just brought her in.  Identified her by her ID badge for her job, poor thing.”

“Is she…”

“Well, for right now she’s fine, but they’re patching her up.  Doesn’t look too life threatening, or they’d be sending her to Polyclinic.  All the bad ones are going over to Poly.”

“What should I do?  Should I wait?  Should I go to her apartment and wait?”  Ari said, trying to keep hysteria from overtaking her.

“Wait here, honey.”  Nurse Ridley took pity on Ari and walked over to the phone.  She came back a second later.  “She’s up in OR three right now.  Go up to the third floor.  The waiting room is right outside the elevators.  I’ll tell them to notify you when she’s in a room.”

“Thank you.”  Ari hugged the nurse then ran to the elevator.

“Holy hell,” Joey mumbled as they watched the devastation that had once been a busy city block. 

“Think they’ll still have the concert?” Justin asked quietly.

“Probably.  The stadium isn’t really near all this, so they will.  Probably try to cheer up the area or something,” Lance replied, ever the businessman.

“Wonder if we could send flowers or something, to the hospitals in the area,” JC suggested.

“Good idea, JC.  I’ll go call upstairs and see what I can find out.”  Lance went over to the phone.

“Why?  Why in the world would someone DO something like this?  I never even HEARD of Harrisburg before today,” Justin commented.

“It’s the state capitol, maybe that’s why,” Chris remarked.  “It’s also a federal building, and a post office.  Maybe it’s some mental postal worker.”

“The concert’s on, and he said no flowers.  There are too many injured people right now…they don’t have beds to put them all in,” Lance announced after he hung up the phone.

“Holy hell,” Joey said once more, reaching for the phone to call Alison.

Ari paced in the waiting room for three hours.  Other people came and went.  She didn’t speak to anyone, but continued to silently pace.  Finally a nurse approached her.  “Are you family, young lady?”

“Yes…I am her sister,” Ari improvised quickly.

“Follow me.”  The nurse led Ari down the hall to a small room.  “Dr. Dryden?  This is the patient’s sister.”

“Half-sister,” Ari improvised again.  “Ari Holliday.”

“Thank you, Nurse,” the man said, smiling at Ari.  The nurse left.  “Miss Holliday, your sister was quite lucky.  The fact that she survived the blast at all is a miracle.”  Ari nodded, afraid of what he would say next.  “I want to be totally honest with you, Miss Holliday.  Your sister has sustained an incredible amount of injuries.  Her right arm and leg are broken, and her left shoulder was severely damaged.”

“But that will all heal, right?”  Ari asked anxiously.

“Yes.  I wasn’t finished.”  The doctor looked her in the eye.  “Your sister was very close to the building.  The blast damaged her eyes…perhaps permanently.”  Ari went white.  “We still have to run a few more tests to confirm that theory, but I want to wait until her face heals.  She has a lot of cuts and bruises.  We had to pretty much peel her contact lenses from her eyes.  We have bandages over them right now, so she’ll think that’s why she cannot see.”

“Can I see her?”  Ari whispered.

“Yes.  I think it will help, actually.  She’s in quite a bit of shock right now.”  He led Ari to a private room.

Ari bit her lip hard as she leaned against the doorway.  Lara’s right arm and leg were in casts, and her left arm was in a sling.  Her head was bandaged and various cuts marked her face.  Ari wanted to kill the monster who had done this, if they weren’t dead already.  She walked over to the bed and pulled a chair up.  She carefully held Lara’s left hand.  “Lara?  Hey, honey…” Lara said nothing, but squeezed Ari’s hand.  “I’m here for you.  I’ll be here for you as long as you need me to be.”  Ari took a deep breath and started to smile.  “I told them that you were my sister.  Fat chance.  No family could handle the two of us together.”  She saw the muscles in Lara’s face twitch, as if she were trying to smile.  “Figures though, you just HAD to ruin my chance at seeing NSYNC again,” she teased.  She saw a tear snake down Lara’s cheek.  “No…no…baby…don’t cry.  I saw them a few weeks ago, remember? Don’t worry about that…worry about getting better.”

About two hours later, Ari came out of the room, stretching hard.  She had been crouched by Lara’s bed, babbling to her about this and that.  When she felt Lara’s fingers go slack in her hand, she knew that her friend was asleep.  She found a payphone and pulled out her calling card.  “Pick up, pick up,” she muttered. “Just because I’m out of the office today it doesn’t mean you can let everything go to hell.  Hello?  Tara? Get Gary for me.  It’s important.”  Ari tapped her foot impatiently.  “Hey, Gary?  Erin.  Okay, I need a BIG favor.  HUGE.  I will grovel eternally if you can do this for me.  You know how I came up to Harrisburg for the NSYNC concert?  Well, I need a giant favor from you, and it involves NSYNC.”

JC continued to stare out the window of the bus as the group returned to the hotel from Madison Square Garden.  “Hey, JC, don’t you think that concert kicked ass?”  Justin asked.  “Yo…earth to JC.”

“Huh?  Oh…yeah…” JC said absentmindedly.

“JC, your brain has been somewhere else all night long.  I thought you were gonna forget the words four or five times tonight,” Joey said.

“He was fine.  He did everything right and put on an excellent show,” Lance said loyally.  “You okay, JC?”

“Yeah…I just can’t get those people in Pennsylvania out of my mind.  It’s like Oklahoma City all over again, ya know?”

“It is sad,” Chris agreed.

“I’m trying not to think about it.  Alison is waiting for me back at the hotel, and I don’t wanna be all down when I see her,” Joey said, digging in his bag for a bottle of water.

“I swear you have a one track mind,” Lance said almost angrily, plopping down next to JC.

Justin sighed as he reached into his suite and turned on the light.  He was glad this tour was almost over.  It was getting exhausting, and he missed…

“Shelley?”  He gasped as he looked into the living room.  “Hey!”  He said with a big smile.  He ran over and hugged her. “What in the hell are you doing here?”

She smiled up at him from under her dark lashes.  “Surprising you.  I see it worked.”

“Oh, baby, this is wonderful!  I didn’t expect to see you for another week or so!”

“Yeah, well, Jill and I decided to fly out and surprise you.  It’s only for tonight, though…we both have to be back at work by Monday, and we know you’ll have a lot to do in Pennsylvania this weekend.”

“Pennsylvania…damn…did you hear about that explosion?”  Justin pulled his shirt over his head tiredly.  “It sounds awful.”

“Yes, it’s all over the news.  I can’t believe someone would do something like that.”  She went into the bathroom and turned on the shower for him. 

“We wanted to send flowers to the area hospitals, but management said that the last thing the hospitals need is more stuff.  They are overflowing as it is.”  Justin smiled at her.  “Joining me in the shower?”

“No…I’m going to let you relax while I order you some dinner and get myself settled in here.  Is that okay?”  Shelley looked up at him anxiously.  Justin respected her wish to keep things slow, but she was always worried that he would leave her.  Girls threw themselves at him all the time.

“That’s wonderful.  I would rather come out here as a human being and spend true quality time with you anyway.”  He pulled her into a passionate embrace before heading for the shower.

 

“Room service!”  A voice outside Chris’ room called.

“But I didn’t order room service,” Chris growled, padding over to the door in his boxer shorts.  He peeked out the peephole and his face lit up.  “Jill?”

“Hey, sexy.  Ready and waiting, I see,” she said with a smile.  He hugged her long and hard.  “I’m just here for the night.  Me and Shel decided to surprise you and Justin.”

“Oh, you are such a sight for sore eyes.”  He continued to hug her. 

“You okay, sweetie?”  She pulled back, her green eyes searching his face.

“I just realized today how much you mean to me.”  His face was unusually grim.  “I saw that stuff about that explosion, and I just…I just got to thinking.”

“I love you, too, Chris,” she replied, gently kissing his soft lips.

“Ali?  Hey, it’s me?”  Joey stretched out on his bed, cellphone in hand.

“Joey?  It’s like one am…is everything okay?”  Alison replied sleepily.

“Yeah, everything’s fine.  I know it’s late and I’m sorry.  I just needed to talk to you.”  Joey smiled at the sound of her sleepy voice.

“What’s up, honey?”

“Did you hear about that explosion?”

“Yeah…you’re gonna be near there, huh?”

“You remember everything, don’t you, Al?”  Joey replied with a smile.  “Yes, we’ll be close.  We wanted to send something to all the hospitals, but I guess they have more to worry about then finding room for bouquets of flowers.”

“I guess so.  You sure you’re okay?”

“Yeah…just missing you.  Missing your smile, your eyes…that fine body of yours…” Joey trailed off.

“Come back from lala-land, big boy,” Alison said, laughing.  “I love you, too, Joey.  Hurry home to me, baby.”

“I hate this.  I almost wish we coulda left last night.  I like that better,” Chris said sleepily as they piled onto the bus the next morning.

“And then you whine about sleeping on the bus.  We can’t ever win with you,” Joey teased.

“He’s just worn out from his little rendezvous last night,” Lance said with a knowing smile.  His room was next to Chris’.

“What rendezvous?”  JC asked.

“You sleep like the dead,” Lance replied.  “Justin and Chris had little visitors last night.  I saw Shelley in the hall this morning, and Jill, well, let’s just say that Chris isn’t quiet.”

“Oh, God,” Chris said, blushing.  The other guys hooted.

“I wish someone woulda visited ME last night,” Joey said.  “I had to be content with a phone call.”

“I woulda visited you, if I knew you wanted someone, baby,” JC said in a high voice.  Joey punched his arm.

“Okay…guys…I have a favor for you.”  One of the people from management who traveled with them hopped onto the bus before it swung into motion.

“Oh, God, now what?”  Chris griped.

“I have a request from a friend of a friend of a friend from a radio station in Maryland.  I need you guys to make a pit stop at one of the hospitals in Harrisburg before the Hershey show tomorrow.”

“Here I am, Little Miss Mary Sunshine, ready to improve your day just by being here,” Ari said cheerfully as she breezed into Lara’s room Sunday morning.

“Oh, puhleeze…where’s the nurse-get-in-the-room-now button?”  Lara whispered in a raspy voice.  The dust and dirt from the explosion had slightly damaged her vocal chords, and she wasn’t supposed to talk above a whisper.  Not that she wanted to; talking hurt, as did everything else including breathing.

“Ha ha…you’re practically broken in two and you’re STILL a smartass,” Ari replied, bending down and lightly pecking an unbruised portion of Lara’s face.  She was calling on all of her best acting training to keep a cheerful disposition; looking at Lara made her seethe inside at the thought of the asshole who did this to her.

“Ari, why don’t you go to my place…take a shower or something…check your email…” Lara suggested, trying not to wince as pain shot from her injured shoulder.

“I have already been there.  You were stupid enough to tell me one time where the extra key is hidden, so I dropped some stuff there and caught a few hours of sleep.”  Ari took a deep breath.  “I went online and…”

“If you tell me that you told anyone about this I will have a miraculous recovery and kick your ass,” Lara said angrily.  Ari couldn’t see Lara’s blue eyes, but she knew they would be flaming with anger if they were visible.  “I don’t want their pity.  I’ll be back on my feet soon and then I can tell them.”

“No, bossy, I didn’t tell them…though seeing this “miraculous recovery” you mention would be worth it,” Ari said with a smile.

“God, I HATE being laid up like this.  I can’t do anything,” Lara grumbled.  “At least when they take the freaking bandages off I can watch TV.”

“Yeah, well, we’ll see,” Ari said quickly.  “But ANYWAY, I have a few things for you.  I bought some teenybopper mags to read to you, a new chapter of Lisa’s story, and you’re having visitors today.”  Ari practically had to sit on her tongue not to blab the news.

“What?  I don’t WANT to see anyone, Ari!”

“Trust me…you want to see THESE visitors.”

“Why are we so nice?”  Joey said as they piled into a minivan to drive from Hershey to Harrisburg.

“Because we are, that’s why.  We are nice people who enjoy doing nice things for strangers,” Lance said with a smile. 

“And just imagine how many brownie points this will earn with Alison,” Justin pointed out.  “You know how big she is on helping the less fortunate.”

“True,” Joey said, staring out the window.

“So what exactly is going on with this girl?”  Chris asked.

“She’s not a “girl”, Chris.  She’s practically your age…twenty-seven.”  Lance glanced down at the note their management had given them.  “She was right in front of the building when the bomb went off.”

“Damn.  Hope she’s not all gross and shit,” Joey said.  Four pair of eyes turned to glare at him.  “What?”

“She’s not,” Lance said, giving him a dirty look.  “She has a broken arm and leg, and a severely dislocated shoulder.  Also…” he swallowed deeply.  “She doesn’t know it yet, but she may never see again.”

“Damn,” Justin said softly, not being able to imagine life without sight.

“So her friend works for a radio station in Maryland, and one of her coworkers knows someone who knows someone, and that’s how we got asked to do this.  We just gotta go in and talk to her, maybe sing something.  I don’t mind doing it.”  Lance folded the paper and put it in his back jeans pocket.

“Me either,” JC piped up.  Chris and Justin nodded as well.

“Oh, God, you guys know I don’t mind either. Quit making me feel guilty,” Joey growled, staring out the window once more.

“Ari, stop.  Please stop. Laughing hurts like a bitch,” Lara said, trying her best not to laugh at Ari’s snide comments as she read the latest issue of Bop magazine.

“Oh, come on, Lara, you KNOW you want to know why Nick Carter is looking for “that special girl.”  It keeps you awake at night, doesn’t it?”

“No, intense pain keeps me awake at night.”  Lara instantly sobered.  “But I KNOW why Nick is looking…because he hasn’t found me yet.”

“Exactly.”  Ari tried to keep her voice from shaking.  Lara was being so brave, and she had no clue what was in store for her.  The test results hadn’t come back yet, but the doctor was still standing by his original theory.

“Miss Holliday?”  The normal daytime nurse poked her head in the door.  “There’s someone here asking for you.”

“Excellent.  Be right back, chickie.”  Ari darted out the door.

“I can’t believe they’re really here!”  The nurse, a young woman in her early 30s, was practically bouncing up and down.  “My daughters would flip.”

“I’ll get you an autograph,” Ari promised.  They turned a corner and Ari stopped short.  They were really there.

“Are you Erin?”  Joey asked.

“Um, yes…I mean, no…I mean, everyone calls me Ari.”  Ari could have kicked herself for sounding like an idiot.  “Thanks so much for coming.”

“No problem.  I’m Joey.”  He shook her hand.

“Chris.”

“JC.”  Ari held his hand a split second longer than she had to, just to keep his beautiful eyes on her.

“Lance.”

“Justin,” he flashed his patented grin at her and her knees buckled. 

“Thank you, Lord,” she mumbled and he looked at her curiously.  “You got rid of the braids.  Sorry, Justin, but you look SO much better without them.”

“Thank you, I think.”

The other guys laughed.  “Unfortunately, we only have a little over an hour,” Lance hinted gently.

“Oh, right. Follow me.”  Ari led them down the hall.

“What’s her name?”  Chris asked.

“Lara,” Lance said before Ari could reply.  Everyone looked at him.  “What?  I had that fact sheet, remember?”

“She has no clue you are coming.  This should be good,” Ari said with a smile. She loved pleasant surprises.  She opened the door.  “Sweetie, here we are.  All six of us.”

“You brought five people to visit?  And I’m sure I look like shit.  Thanks so much.”

The guys encircled the bed so they could hear Lara’s whisper.  “Lara, I brought NSYNC to visit you!”  Ari said excitedly.  “I contacted someone at the station who pulled some strings.”

“NSYNC?  Yeah, right.”  Lara dismissed the idea with a flick of the fingers on her left hand, the only part of her body she could comfortably move.  “Why don’t you sing something then?  No, wait…anyone can sing and sound like NSYNC.  The one of you that is supposed to be Joey…come here please.”  Joey stepped forward with a confused look on his face.  “Can you get down so I can touch your face?”  He did as she asked, sitting down close to the bed.  She gently stroked his face, feeling his beard.  “Um…now Chris.”  He did the same, and she tickled her fingers over the tiny goatee on his chin.  “JC?”  He sat down. 

“I don’t have facial hair,” he told her.

She smiled.  “I know.  Just come here.”  She gently cupped his face in her hand.  “Smile.”  He did as she asked and her fingertips traced the deep grooves of his dimples.  She swallowed deeply.  “Justin.”

“Okay, my dimples are not recognizable, and I have no beard.  What will it take for you to guess me?”  He asked with a laugh.

“Just come here,” Lara whispered, her voice shaking.  He bent his head down and she carefully ran her fingers through his curls.  “OHMYGOD.  It IS you.”

“Didn’t you forget someone?”  JC asked, pushing Lance forward.

“There’s nothing physical to identify me,” Lance protested, blushing slightly.

“No, there isn’t…but I’d recognize your voice anywhere,” Lara whispered, a tear slowly sliding down her face.  “I don’t believe this. What are you guys doing here?”

“We were asked to come bring you some NSYNC medicine,” Joey said slyly.  The other guys groaned.

“What a line,” JC said.  “We just wanted to come say hi…we heard you couldn’t make it to the concert, so we thought we’d bring it here for a little bit.”

“Actually, one of the tech guys is hooking something up so you can listen to it here on a special radio,” Lance said.  The guys stared at him.  “What?  I had the idea and they said it was okay.”

“Wow…thanks…” Lara said, a smile finally crossing her face.  “This is unreal.”

“Well, unfortunately, we only have a little bit of time with you.  We have sound checks to do,” Chris said apologetically.

“That’s fine,” Lara whispered.

Justin remained in the chair beside her bed.  “So…we’d like to sing for you.  What’s your favorite song?  Wait…let me guess.  I Thought She Knew.”

“This I Promise You,” JC chimed in.

“God Must Have Spent,” Chris added.

“I Drive Myself Crazy,” Lance said.  Ari stared at him.  How had he guessed?

“Yes, that’s it,” Lara said, smiling broadly until it hurt too much to continue.

“Good.  We haven’t sang that one purely a cappella in a while,” Chris said with a smile.  They began to sing and Lara lay back on the pillow, forgetting everything but the sound of one of her favorite songs in the world.

“That was so beautiful. Thanks so much,” Lara said.

“We have to go,” JC said with a sigh.  “Hope you enjoy the show tonight.”

“Oh, I’m sure I will,” Lara said, smiling once more.  Each guy said goodbye and started out into the hall with Ari.  Lance hung back.

“I’ll pray for you,” he whispered, bending down to kiss her forehead.  Before she could reply, he went out into the hall.

The other four members of the group were already at the elevator.  “Thanks so much, Lance, for coming down here,” Ari said, placing a hand on his arm.

“Of course.  No problem.” He handed her something.  “This is my cellphone number.  When she finds out…about her eyes…please call me.”

“Okay,” Ari said, slowly taking the paper.  Lance took off after the others. 

 

Three Days Later

 

“I’m so excited!”  Lara said.  She would have bounced up and down in her bed if it wouldn’t have hurt so much.  “I have been going crazy with this crap over my eyes.”

“I bet,” Ari said faintly.  She sat by Lara’s bedside, determined to hold her hand through the whole thing.  Today was the day the bandages came off, and more than likely the outcome would NOT be good.

“Is the doctor out there?  Did you see him when you came in?”  Lara asked anxiously.

“Yes, I saw him.”  She had talked to him earlier.  He wanted to warn her about the prognosis.  “He’ll be in any minute.”

Ten minutes later there was a knock at the door.  “Lara…how are we doing today?”  Dr. Dryden asked.  Ari and Lara liked this young doctor very much.  Not only was he down to earth with his explanations, he was very handsome.  Lara couldn’t see it, but Ari had described it…in detail.

“I’m ready to see what’s going on in the world,” she said expectantly.  Ari and the doctor exchanged glances.

“Okay, well, if Ari will move to the other side of the bed, I’ll see what we can do about that.”  Ari moved to the left side of the bed so she could hold Lara’s hand.  Lara squeezed her fingers.  The doctor slowly began to unwind the gauze, and Ari could feel Lara holding her breath.  He pulled off the last strips and sat back.

“Well…aren’t you going to finish?”  Lara almost snapped.

“He…he is finished, sweetie,” Ari said softly, gazing into Lara’s unseeing blue eyes.  They were still slightly bloodshot from the damage, but there didn’t seem to be much visible proof of their ordeal.  “They’re off.”

“Now, we’re not one hundred percent sure that this is permanent.  Your sight could return in two weeks or two years,” Dr. Dryden began.

“What do you mean, you’re not sure?  You’re a doctor, for fuck’s sake.  You’re supposed to be able to figure these things out!”  Lara yelled.  She yanked her hand out of Ari’s and clenched it into a fist.  “Why can’t I see?”

“The explosion…you were very close,” the doctor stammered.  It was obvious that he wasn’t used to giving a diagnosis such as this, where he was totally unsure of the outcome.

“I KNOW that.”  Tears poured freely from her eyes.  “I don’t believe this.  Not only am I pretty much paralyzed on the right side until the bones heal, but I can hardly move my left arm, and now THIS?  How long have you known this?”

“We kinda figured it since the beginning.”

“Honey, they don’t know if it’s permanent.  You could be glaring at me by next week,” Ari reminded her gently.

“YOU knew about this, too, didn’t you?”  Lara sobbed.  “Get out.  Get OUT of here!  Now!  I don’t want to see…ha, that’s funny.  Let me rephrase.  I don’t want ANYONE in here except nurses and doctors, understand?  No visitors, no so-called friends, NO ONE!”

“Lara, you’re getting hysterical, please try to calm down.  You’re only going to hurt yourself,” the doctor said, standing and reaching for the phone by the bed.

“Hurt myself?  What’s left to damage?” Lara shrieked.  The doctor called the nurses’ station and requested a tranquilizer.

“I think you’d better go for a while, Ari,” he said softly.  “I'll call you later.”

“Okay,” Ari said worriedly.  “Lara, I…”

“OUT!”  Lara screamed as the nurse hurried into the room.

 

Ari stepped into the hallway and leaned against the wall, finally allowing the tears to fall.  This was worse than even she had imagined, and she had been informed of everything by the doctor since day one.  She knew that all of Lara’s things required sight, such as reading and playing around on the computer.  Her job was totally dependent on sight.  She was probably feeling so helpless.

Ari dug into her purse for a tissue, and came up with a piece of paper.  Lance Bass’ phone number.  He HAD asked her to call.  Ari wiped her eyes and then went out to the parking garage.

 

“Hello?”  Lance mumbled half into his pillow and half into his cellphone.  “What time is it?”

“Um…almost noon,” a female voice said shyly.

“Oh really?  Shit…” Lance said, rubbing his eyes.  Another long night out with his friends.  Ever since he had been home from the tour he hadn’t gotten five minutes to himself, except in the bathroom, shower, or sleeping.  “Who is this?”

“Um…this is Ari Holliday…we met at the hospital in Pennsylvania.”

“Oh, yes!”  Lance sat up straight, suddenly awake.  “How are things going?”

“Not good, I’m afraid.”  He could hear her trying to hold back the tears.  “She…uh…she went ballistic.  I mean, I expected it, but she totally freaked.  They needed to sedate her.”

“God, I’m really sorry,” Lance whispered. 

“Yeah, well, you wanted me to call, so here I am, calling you,” Ari replied.

“Are you at a hotel?” Lance asked, pulling on some boxers and walking over to his cluttered desk.

“No, I’m at Lara’s apartment.”

“Okay, can you give me your number there? I have some people I need to talk to, but I’ll be calling you back later if that’s okay.”

Lance Bass calling her back?  No that wasn’t okay…it was fantastic.  “Yes, of course…it’s five three four, zero five one three.  Oh, and the area code is four one two.”

“Got it.”  Lance scribbled furiously.  “Thanks for remembering to call, Ari.  I’ll get back to you in a few hours.”

“Okay.  Bye.”

 

Lance curled up on the loveseat in his living room, his phone pressed between his head and his shoulder.  His hair was still damp from the shower, and the phone kept slipping.  “No, Justin, everything is fine.  No, I’m not still drunk.  I wasn’t drunk last night!”  He protested.  “Chris will be by to pick you up in an hour.  Just be there.”  He hung up and sighed deeply.  He padded on bare feet out to the kitchen in search of brunch.

 

“What’s going on, Lansten?”  Joey grumbled.  “Alison is supposed to be at my house in twenty-five minutes.  I plan on locking us in the bedroom for a good week or so.  This better be good.”

“Oh, Joey, control your dick for once, okay?”  Chris snapped.

“You guys have anything planned for the next few weeks?  I mean, are we planning on working at all?” Lance asked, pouring coffee for himself.  Justin went to the cupboard and grabbed a cup, sliding it in front of Lance.  Lance sighed and poured some for him as well.

“Not that I’m aware of,” JC said.  “Why?”

“Chris, what would you say about going back to Pennsylvania…investigating your roots…” Lance said, his green eyes staring at Chris.

“Huh?”  Chris was confused.  Lance sighed.

“Remember that girl in the hospital in Pennsylvania?  Well, her friend, Ari, she called me today.”

“I remember her. She was kinda cute,” Justin remarked.  JC shoved him and told him to be quiet.

“They took the bandages off today, and she couldn’t see,” Lance said slowly.  The other men were silent.  “She pretty much freaked…they needed to sedate her.  I want to go back up there.”

“You wanna go back?  What for?”  Joey asked.

“I’m not sure…I just want to help her.  I want to do what I can to help her to adjust.”  Lance got up and began to pace.  “I have no clue why.  I just…I feel sorry for her.”

“We all do, Lance,” Justin said slowly.  “But we don’t need to go running across the country to sit and hold her hand.”

“I’m not asking you all to go,” Lance snapped.  “I just said I’M going.  And I wanted to know if anyone would come with me.”

“I’ll come up for a little bit,” Chris said.  “Jill is busy through this week.  I could come until the middle of next week or something.  I would kinda like to check on some family up there.”

“Thanks,” Lance said with a smile.  He looked at the others.

“No way.  Sorry.  I haven’t seen Alison for months and I’m not skipping out now,” Joey said.

“Understandable,” Lance said.  “Justin?”

“Shelley’s coming out for a few weeks soon, too.  I can’t spare the time,” Justin said apologetically.  “Maybe we could come up in a little while.”

“That’s fine, too.”  Lance looked at JC. 

“Oh, what the hell.  I don’t have anyone tying me down.  Count me in.”

A week later

 

“Lance?  Is that you?”  Chris asked, amazed to see Lance standing on his doorstep.  “Where the hell have you been?”

“Pennsylvania.”  Lance stepped into Chris’ apartment and Chris shut the door after him.  “Hi, Jill.”

“Hey, Lancey,” Jill said with a smile from her seat in front of the TV.  “Popcorn?”

“No, thanks.”  Lance flopped onto the sofa.

“Pennsylvania?  I thought we decided to wait on that, cuz of what Ari said about Lara’s current attitude problem,” Chris said, sitting back down next to Jill.  He put an arm around her as he muted the TV. 

“I know, I know…but I just couldn’t wait.” He ran a hand through his short hair.  “She looks awful, Chris, and I don’t mean like because of the accident.  She just has lost all will to do anything.  They have to feed her intravenously, and she refuses to talk.  Ari is at her wit’s end.”  Lance stared at the TV, not really seeing it.  “I didn’t let her know I was there… I mean, if she doesn’t want to see one of her best friends, there’s no way she wants to see me, a total stranger.”

“I’m sorry, Lance,” Jill said sympathetically.  “I know how much you’ve been worrying about her.”

“I’m not about to give up,” Lance said, looking at Chris intently.  “I have a plan.  I’m going to move to Pennsylvania.  Indefinitely.”

“You’re gonna WHAT?”  Chris yelled.

“Move up there.  I’m gonna get a job as a volunteer at the hospital, and I’m gonna find a way to make her want to get better.  Blindness isn’t the end of the world…people live with it every day.”  Lance stood up.  “I’ve been reading about it and…”

“Lance, this is ridiculous.  What about the group?  What’s your MOM gonna say?”  Chris said, playing his trump card.  Lance winced at the mention of his mother.

“She’ll be proud of me for trying to help someone…I hope.  The group won’t suffer, Chris.  We’ll be taking a well-needed vacation for a while anyway, right?  She can’t begin any kind of therapy for at least another month…she should be out of the casts by then.  Believe it or not, the dislocated shoulder is a bigger injury than the broken arm and leg.”

Chris shook his head to clear it.  “Lance, this is crazy.”

“That’s why I came to you first, Chris.  I thought you’d understand,” Lance said, his green eyes pleading.  “I have no clue why I feel such a pull to help this girl, but I do.  I have nothing else going on here.  You have Jill, Justin has Shel, Joey has Alison, JC has…whatever JC has, but I feel lost.  Like I have no reason to even be around.”

“Lance, don’t say that!”  Chris gasped.

“Not like THAT,” Lance said, regretting his choice of words.  “Justin has his charity and all…what do I do to help people?  Absolutely nothing.”

“You know shit about medical things, Lance,” Chris said, grasping at straws.

“I can learn.  Even if it’s just reading to her every day or something…it would help.  I need to do this, Chris.”

Chris sighed and looked at Jill, who kissed his nose.  “Okay…I’ll help you get ready.”

A Month Later

“Guess what, Lara?  They’re taking your casts off today,” Ari said as she walked into Lara’s hospital room.  “You’ll get a walking cast for your leg and just a cloth sling for your arm.  It’s amazing that you were so fortunate about the breaks…they coulda been a lot worse.”

No response from the thin figure under the sheets.  Out of habit Lara kept her eyes closed.  She knew that she wouldn’t see anything if she opened them, but she hoped that the closed eyes would give Ari the hint to go back to Maryland and leave her alone.

“Looks like you’re gaining weight,” Ari observed, lying through her teeth.  “Guess that icky brown liquid they got in that tube is doing what it’s supposed to.”  Ari sighed when Lara remained silent. “You know, if you don’t start talking I’m gonna stop coming in,” she lied once more. 

Good, Lara thought.  About time you get the hint.

 

“Okay, you need anything, you call, okay?”  Chris asked as he and Lance stood on the tarmac by the private jet Lance had rented.

“I will.  Thanks so much, man.”  Lance hugged Chris, the friend who had supported him most in the whole situation.  Justin and Joey thought he was crazy, and JC, well, JC hadn’t been around much.  Chris handed Lance a piece of paper.

“Phone numbers of my cousins and stuff.  If you even need some home cooking or a few days away, give them a call.”

“Thanks,” Lance said, smiling at him.  He turned to go up the steps.

“Wait!”  JC yelled. “Lance!”  He came struggling across the tarmac, carrying two suitcases and a giant duffel bag.

“JC?  What are YOU doing here?”  Chris asked, shocked.

“I’m coming with you.” JC dropped the suitcases, gasping for breath.  “I’m…sorry…I didn’t call you…but I’ve been busy with some things…and I couldn’t let you go alone.”

“Are you sure?” Lance asked.  JC nodded.

“I wanna be there with you.  What do I have here?”

“Sounds familiar,” Chris remarked.  He gave JC a hug.  “He’s behind schedule already.  Get your ass on the plane.”

 

“Okay…I can look tough…I can kick ass,” Ari repeatedly told herself as she slowly went down the steps to answer Lara’s door.  She carried a butcher knife in her right hand and she held it behind her back as she looked out the peephole.  What she saw surprised her so much that she dropped the knife.  “OHMYGOD!” She screamed to herself, then regained her composure.  Ari threw the door open.  “Lance?  JC?  What the hell are you doing here?”

“Sorry it’s so late,” Lance said, smiling apologetically.  “There’s some kind of convention in town and we couldn’t get a room.  Mind if we crash here?”

Mind if you crash here?  Oh, fuck no.  Share my bed…share my body… “Of course not!  Come on in…damn tourist town,” Ari said, moving aside so JC and Lance could maneuver up the narrow stairway.  “What are you doing in PA?”

“Lance, you explain it.  I’m STILL not sure what we’re doing here,” JC said in a teasing tone.  They went into the living room and Lara’s kitten, Harley, immediately starting rubbing against Lance’s feet and purring.  He picked him up, absentmindedly stroking Harley’s head.

“I need to help her,” Lance said simply, looking at Ari with bright green eyes.  “I’ve already talked to someone at the hospital.  I’m gonna volunteer there, incognito.”

“She’ll recognize your voice,” Ari pointed out, still in shock that Lance Bass and JC Chasez were sitting in front of her.

“Not if she doesn’t know it’s me,” Lance said.  “I’ve been thinking about it a lot.  There’s no way she’d expect ME to be working in the hospital where she is, so there’s not a chance in hell that she’d put my name with the voice she’ll hear every day.”

“He’s been obsessed with this,” JC told Ari.

“I am NOT obsessed,” Lance said angrily, standing up.  “Can I take a shower?”

“Sure…down the hall to the right,” Ari said faintly, fighting the urge to ask to join him.  Lance stomped down the hall and slammed the bathroom door.

“He’s obsessed,” JC repeated.

 

“I hope this works,” Ari said the next day as she dropped Lance off in front of the hospital.  “We’ll be back later after we pick up the rental car.”

“Take your time.  I plan on staying all afternoon,” Lance told them.  “Later, JC.”

“Bye, Lansten,” JC said, sighing as he watched his friend walk up the steps into the hospital.  He shook his head as Ari drove out onto Front Street.  “I just don’t get it.”

“Haven’t you ever just felt…I don’t know…connected to someone?”  Ari asked.

“No…not really,” JC said softly.

 

“This is crazy!”  A female voice said angrily.  “He’s not trained AT ALL!  He’s some spoiled pop star who…”

“Darlene, keep your voice down, please.  This IS a hospital.  Can it really hurt?  You can’t even get her to sit up to do minor therapy,” a male voice said.

Lance knocked on Dr. Dryden’s door.  “Excuse me,” he said softly.

A woman with light brown hair and hazel eyes glared at him.  The man smiled.  “Mr. Bass?  Hello, I’m Dr. Dryden.”

“Call me Lance,” he said, shaking the doctor’s hand.  “Wait…you’d better not…my given name is James…you’d better call me that.”

“James.  James, this is Darlene…Lara’s physical therapist.  Darlene, this is Lance Bass…or should I say James Bass.”

“Hello,” she said shortly, refusing to shake his hand.  “I am gonna say right off…this is a bad idea.  You can only make things worse.”

“Are you so sure?”  Lance asked gently.  “From what Ari said, Lara won’t eat, won’t talk, won’t move, won’t do ANYTHING that might possibly help her to get better.  Can I really make things worse?”

She sighed.  “Fine.  Whatever.  I wash my hands of the whole thing.  Just stay out of my way, all right?”  Darlene brushed past him and went out the door.  Lance looked at Dr. Dryden questioningly.

“She’s angry that she can’t get through.  She’s our best therapist and one of the nicest people I know, believe it or not, but even she can’t get through.”

“When can I start?” 

 

Lara heard the door open and close.  Dammit.  If that was Ari again she was gonna have to jump up and smack her.  Ha.  That would be funny.  She’d look like a little blindfolded kid swinging at a piñata.  She felt someone move her bed up into a sitting position.  She sniffed.  Hmmm…no perfume. It wasn’t Darlene.  She continued to stare towards what she assumed was the window.  In fact, she KNEW it was the window, because during the day she could feel the sun on her face.  She was secretly proud of herself for figuring out so many things by using her four remaining senses.

“Hey there,” a low male voice said, making her jump.  “Oh…sorry.  Didn’t mean to scare you.  I’m one of the new volunteers.  Thinking of getting into medicine, so I thought I’d better start by just visiting.”  She felt him sit on the chair to her left.  “My name is James.  Well…actually…don’t call me that.  My mother calls me James when she’s mad.  You could call me Jamie.  Nope.  Too girly…how about Jay.  Could you call me Jay?”  Lara didn’t answer.  “Well, if you don’t talk at all, that solves the name problem, now doesn’t it?”  Lara almost smiled.  This was the most interesting person they had sent in so far.  “And your name is Lara.”  He pronounced it as if it rhymed with the word ‘air’.  “Or is it Lara?”  He rhymed it with ‘car’.  “I’ve heard it both ways spelled like this…but I bet it rhymes with car.  I like that way so much better.”  Lara swallowed deeply, tears forming in the corners of her eyes.  He was the first person in a long time who was treating her like a person and not just part of the bed.  “Hey, now, no crying.  Save that for the therapy. I hear that’s a real bitch.”  She felt a tissue lightly dabbing at her cheeks.  “They don’t let me stay in one room much, but I think I’m gonna ask to be assigned to you personally.  I think we’ll get along just fine.  I like to talk, and it seems you like to listen.  Pretty good deal, dontcha think?  See ya tomorrow, Lara.” 

 

Lance stepped into the hallway and took a deep breath.  He wasn’t one for mindless chatter…it had actually exhausted him.  But she seemed to actually be listening, and that was a start.  He headed for the library upstairs, determined to do some research before Ari and JC came back.

 

“No.  JC, no way.  Not that one,” Ari said, rolling her eyes as JC pointed to a blue Saturn. 

“Why not?”

“Not blue.  If I see one more blue thing I will scream.  Lara’s apartment is FULL of blue, and…” Ari’s lower lip quivered.  “Not that she can see it, though.”

“Oh, Ari.”  JC stopped looking at cars and walked over to Ari.  “Come here.”  Before she knew it, Ari was in JC’s arms, crying on his shoulder.  “You’ve had to bear all this on your own.  Lance and I are here now, and we’ll help in any way we can.  I promise.”  Almost without thinking he kissed her forehead.  JC quickly pulled away, blushing.  “I’m sorry.  Let’s find a black car or something.  Black is cool.”

 

Lance smiled as he watched JC squeal up to the front door of the hospital in a black Honda Civic.  “Not your usual style, JC, is it?”

“I thought we should go mellow.  It’s not too bad.  Kinda cute.”  JC carefully pulled out into traffic.  “How’d it go?”

“Okay, I think.”  Lance heaved a deep sigh.  “She’ll be a tough nut to crack.  She has to be one of the most stubborn people I know.  But she was listening to me…I could see it.”

“Good,” JC said, smiling.  “Ari is picking up a pizza and then she’s gonna call around for hotel rooms.  Maybe one of those tiny places that rents by the week or something.  That way we can kinda settle in without inconveniencing her.”

Lance looked at him, amusement in his eyes.  “You like her?”

“What do you mean, like her?  Sure, I like her.  She’s nice.”

“No, you LIKE her like her,” Lance replied, realizing he sounded about ten years old. 

JC rolled his eyes.  “I think you were accidentally injected with some drugs, Lansten.  I hardly know the girl.”

Yet, Lance mentally added.

 

Lance didn’t get back into the hospital until two days later, because of getting settled in and finding a small efficiency hotel room for he and JC.  It wasn’t the glamorous hotel suite they were used to, but there was a tiny kitchen, TV, VCR and Internet hookup.  JC instantly hooked up his laptop and emailed Justin, Joey and Chris to let them know they were in PA and fine.  When Lance left the room that morning, JC was snoring away on his bed, the pillow tucked firmly over his head.

Lance approached Lara’s room cheerfully, determined to let his positive attitude have some kind of effect on Lara.  He saw Darlene standing outside the room leaning against the wall, and his step faltered.  “Um, hi, Darlene,” he said shyly.

She turned to look at him, her hazel eyes troubled.  “I don’t know what else to do,” she whispered.  “I’ve tried everything I know.  She lets me move her arm and leg and do the most basic of therapy, but she doesn’t help at all.  It’s like she doesn’t care.”  She looked down at her feet.  “I apologize for how I treated you the other day, James.  I was jealous of the fact that maybe someone else could get through to her.”

“It’s okay,” Lance said with a smile.  “I understand.  I’m gonna need your help as much as you need mine.  You were right…I know shit about medicine or therapy.  That’s your part.  My part is to get her stubborn ass moving again.”

Darlene smiled back.  “Okay…it’s a deal.”

“I’ll come find you later, okay?”  Lance squeezed Darlene’s arm before opening the door to Lara’s room.

 

If that’s Darlene again, I’m gonna scream, Lara said to herself as the door opened.  Or maybe it’s Ari again.  In all actuality, she missed Ari’s visits.  Ari hadn’t been in to visit for two days, and Lara was almost afraid that she had taken her words as truth and wasn’t planning on coming back.  Lara sniffed.  Cologne.  Not the doctor’s cologne, either.  If she would have really cared about anything, her knees would have gone weak.  It was Drakkar…her favorite cologne.

“Hey, Lara.”  She felt someone sit on the edge of the bed.  “It’s Jay…remember me?”

Jay…the one with the sense of humor.  She remembered him. 

“Do me a favor, okay?”  She felt a smooth hand slide over hers, gently grasping her fingers.  “At least give me a squeeze for yes and no squeeze for no, okay?  That way I can say, “Miraculous!  I made her communicate!” and they’ll give me the volunteer medal of the day or something.” 

Lara wanted to laugh.  That was crazy.  But she figured since had bothered to come back, she would play his game.  She lightly squeezed his fingers.

The smile that flashed over Lance’s face was bigger than any he had smiled in months.  He knew she was still in there.  She was no vegetable.  “Great.  Thanks.  They might even put my picture on the wall.”  He ran his other hand through his hair.  “Okay…let’s get to know each other.  Um…books.  Do you like to read?”  He saw her frown and realized that was the WRONG question to ask someone who had recently lost their sight.  “Okay, next question.  Was that a totally bonehead question to ask?  Yes, Jay, it was.  I’ll answer that one for you…don’t need to squeeze for that.  Okay…music.  Do you like music?”  The squeeze was hard that time.  “Rap?”  No squeeze.  “Country?”  A slight squeeze.  “Rock and roll…like Aerosmith and stuff like that?”  She squeezed again.  “Pop music,” he suggested.  Lara squeezed and held it for a second.  “Ah, yes…I could tell you were a boyband freak the moment I walked in the room.  Let me guess…those Backdoor Boys, huh?  Nstink?”  Lara squeezed his hand and dug her fingernails in.  “Ow!”  Lance exclaimed, laughing.  “Sorry, sorry!  Tomorrow I’ll bring some magazines in and describe them and you can tell me which one you like best.  I can’t tell them apart, anyway.”  Lance sat for a moment, just holding her hand.

 

Lara slowly opened her eyes.  On a general basis, she kept them closed when someone was in the room.  She could just imagine how creepy it was for someone to look at her, knowing those eyes were seeing absolutely nothing.  It would be like looking at a corpse or something.  But she felt comfortable for the first time in weeks…comfortable with this total stranger.

 

“Would you…” Lance began, turning to face her.  He swallowed a gasp as he looked into her sightless eyes.  They were such a beautiful blue.  The bruising around them had started to fade, and they stared up at him in an almost childlike way.  Tears filled his eyes as he realized that the beauty he was gazing at could not see anything at all.  “Um…uh…would you like anything?  I could bring you a radio.  Your arm is healed enough that you can change a channel, right?  Or we could just set it on something like the pop station.  Would you like that?”  He whispered.  She squeezed his hand.  “Okay, I have to go.  They haven’t primarily assigned me to you yet, so I have to get going…get that picture up on the wall of honor and all that.”  He held her hand for a moment, then slowly reached up to brush her hair from her face.  “You’re gonna pull through this, Lara.  It’s not that bad.  It’s…”

 

Lara angrily pulled away from him, clamping her eyes shut.  It’s not that bad.  How did he know…he couldn’t know.  She turned her face away from him.

 

Dammit, Lance cursed inside.  Stupid dumbass.  “I’ll be back tomorrow with those magazines and a radio, I promise,” he told her.  “Goodbye, Lara.”  He went out into the hallway and banged his head against the wall.

 

“Hey, there.”  Lara heard Jay’s deep voice as the door opened.  She also heard him set something down on the bedside table.  He took her hand.  “Still mad at me?”  She paused briefly, but decided not to squeeze.  She wasn’t really mad at him.  “Sweet.”  He sat on the chair by the bed.  “Okay…I have ‘em all…Bop, J-14, Teen Beat…you name it, I got it.  You’re gonna give me a crash course in boybands.”  Lara smiled.  She couldn’t help it.

 

Lance froze for a second as he watched a slow smile cross Lara’s face. He smiled back.  He couldn’t believe it.  He was actually getting through.

 

“Okay…let’s see what we have here.”  Jay continued, flipping through a magazine.  “Okay.  All you ever wanted to know about the Backstreet Boys.”  He paused, then groaned. “I hope you know what I’m suffering through for you, girlfriend.  Looking at teenage beefcake is NOT my idea of a fun way to spend the afternoon.”

“They’re NOT teenagers,” Lara finally whispered.

 

Lance stared at the girl on the bed.  Her eyes were closed and she had not moved.  But he would swear on a stack of Bibles that he had heard her say something.

 

“Okay…let’s see…who’s this freak with all the tattoos?  Alexander James McLean, or AJ.  Hmmm…interesting fashion sense.  Does a lot of safaris in Africa, I see.”  Lara giggled.  She couldn’t help it.  He was describing AJ to a T.  “And this one.  God, what eyebrows.  Kevin Scott Richardson…ah, yes, the married one. Heard about that on Entertainment Tonight.  And his cousin…Brian Thomas Littrell.  Looks like an elf.”  Lara laughed out loud again.

 

Lance stared down at her.  He couldn’t believe it.  She was laughing.  Out loud.  Making real sounds.  He made himself calm down and looked at the magazine once more.

 

“This one looks almost normal.  Howard Dwaine Dorough.”  Jay paused for a moment.  “Man…lost his sister to lupus.  That bites.”  He turned the page.  “What a Ken Doll!  Nickolas Gene Carter.  No, thank you.  Not even bothering with…” Lara’s hand reached over slowly and spread out flat on the page.  “Ohhh…you like Blondie, huh?  Okay, I’ll read this part.”  Jay began to read the article on Nick, adding comments here and there until Lara was laughing so hard it hurt.

 

“Oh my God,” Darlene whispered as she peeked in the door.  Lara hadn’t opened her eyes, but she was laughing…responding to Lance’s conversation.  Maybe there was hope after all.

 

“I cannot believe I am doing this,” Jay mumbled.  “If any of the guys back home knew, I’d be kicked out of town.”  He picked up another magazine.  “This WHOLE magazine is about NSYNC.  Damn.  What a waste of trees.” Lara slowly reached over and pinched his hand.  “Okay, okay.  Sorry.”  He flipped to the back of the magazine.  “Here are some bios.  Damn…what dreads this boy has!  Justin Timberlake…someone should seriously discuss his hair with him.  He’s scary.”  Lara made a motion as if she were turning the page.  Jay turned the page.  “Oh…I see…he looks like a freaking brillopad most of the time, then.  Not much better, Lara, I hate to tell you.  Joshua Scott Chasez.  Okay…he looks normal.  Nothing bad to say about him.  Joseph Anthony Fatone, Jr.  What’s with the red hair?  Looks like he used his head to paint a barn.  Christopher Alan Kirkpatrick.  Euww…look at those braids.  Looks like a freaking pineapple.”  Jay turned another page.  “Last one, thank God.  James Lance Bass.” Lara slapped her hand down.

 

Lance jumped.  Him?  He was her favorite?  Things suddenly felt weird.

 

“You like him?  He’s…uh…not BAD, I guess.  Nice eyes, though they ARE a bit uneven.  Not too bad of a fashion sense.  What’s with the blue hair though?  That’s kinda weird…” Jay said, trailing off.

 

Lara slowly opened her eyes.  “I like…” she licked her lips.  “I like the blue hair.  Blue is my favorite color.”

Lance looked at her, clearing his throat.  “She speaks…oh speak again, fair angel.”

Lara smiled.  “Shakespeare.  I like Shakespeare.”

“Only line I remember, except for maybe “parting is such sweet sorrow.”  Not a big Shakespeare fan.”  Lance smiled at her, even though she couldn’t see it.  “Hi, Lara.  I’m Jay.”

“Hi, Jay,” she whispered, clearing her throat carefully.  “Water, please.”

Lance grabbed the pitcher by the bed, spilling water onto his hands as he quickly poured some into a glass.  He carefully tipped the cup to her lips.  “Here you go.  Careful.”

Lara moaned as the cool liquid went down her throat.  “Thank you.”  She turned her face towards him.  “I want to see you.”

“Huh?” Lance was confused.

“Come here.”  She waved the fingers of her left hand towards herself and he bent his head down to her hands.  She cupped his chin in one hand, feeling the shape of his face.  Her fingers traced up one jawline and down the other, allowing her fingertips to feel the softness of his skin.  She ran her fingers over his forehead, then down his nose.  Her fingers trembled slightly as they briefly kissed his lips, then her hand moved up to his short hair.  “What color?”

“Dirty blond,” he said, trying to control the quiver in his voice.

“Eyes?”

“Green.”  Lance decided to be honest.

“Wow…green eyes aren’t all that common.”  She smiled up at him.  “Thank you, Jay.  Thank you for talking to me…for reading to me…for caring about me.”

“You’re welcome, honey,” Lance whispered.  He glanced at his watch.  He was supposed to be meeting JC and Ari for dinner, and he still needed to go tell Dr. Dryden what had happened.  “Hey…are you gonna talk for everyone now, or just me?”

Lara sighed.  “I guess everyone.”

“Therapy?”

“Will you be there?”

“Of course,” Lance told her.  “Every step of the way.”

“What’s the weather like today?”  Lara asked suddenly, turning her face to the window.

“Overcast…sun in sun out,” Lance replied.

“I wish I could see it.”  Lara’s bottom lip trembled.  “I wish I could see you…see this room…see my own freaking feet.”  Tears quickly streamed down her face.  “I wish you would have just let me die, dammit!”

“Stop it!”  Lance ordered.  “Stop talking that way!  People lose people every day.  You could have died, and then the world would have been a lesser place.  Quit being so freaking selfish and concentrate on getting better!”

“You don’t get it, do you?”  Lara said angrily, choking as she overextended her vocal chords.  “Everything I enjoy…everything I love…it all involves seeing.  I can’t write my stories, can’t read emails, can’t read a book.  Can’t watch a movie.  Don’t you see?”

“I see that you are looking at your limits instead of what you CAN do,” Lance retorted.  “I have to go.  You damned well better start behaving with Dr. Dryden and Darlene or I will SO kick your ass.  I’ll be back tomorrow.” He surprised himself by bending down and kissing her forehead before hurrying out of the room.

 

Lara began to smile as she heard the door close.  He was not gonna take any shit, that’s for sure.  She liked him.  She really liked him.

 

Lance leaned against the wall in the hallway, his knees threatening to give out.  He hadn’t been with a woman in a while, true…but when Lara had “looked” at his face, it was the most erotic thing he had ever experienced.

 

“Guys?  Guys, hey, guess what?”  Lance let himself into Lara’s apartment with the spare key, surprised that Ari hadn’t let the door unlocked. As he thumped up the stairs, he realized that she and JC weren’t there.  Dammit.  He threw the groceries onto the kitchen table and went into the living room to watch TV.

 

“I can’t believe you stole that child’s tokens!”  Ari exclaimed as she ran up the steps ahead of JC.

“I didn’t steal them.  He dropped them and I helped him pick them up,” JC retorted.

“No, you kept two for every one you gave him,” Ari said, laughing.  They stopped short as they saw Lance in the living room.

“Lansten!  What are you doing here?”

“I’ve been here for two hours now.  I thought I was supposed to be making dinner tonight.  Where the hell have you been?”  Lance said angrily.

“Oh, shit.  Was that tonight?”  Ari slapped her forehead.  “I’m sorry, Lance.”

“Yeah…me, too. We went to the batting cages and…”

“You were at the batting cages?”  Lance jumped to his feet.  “I’m at the hospital, working my ASS off to get this girl to at least talk, and YOU’RE at the batting cages.  Why the hell did you even come along with me, JC?  You could have charmed your way into some girl’s pants back in Florida…you didn’t need to come all the way to Pennsylvania to do that.” Lance shoved past them and bolted out the door.

JC and Ari looked at each other.  “He’s obsessed,” JC told her.

 

“You’re late,” Lara said as soon as Lance popped in the door of her room.

“How’d you know it was me?”  He asked in surprise.

“I can smell your cologne.  You wear Drakkar,” she told him, smiling.  “I love Drakkar.  It’s my favorite.  My friend Lisa calls it Insta-Fuck,” she finished, then blushed.

“Hmmm…note to self…” Lance said, laughing.  He looked at her for a moment.  “You look different.  Hey, your hair is up.”

“Yes,” Lara said, obviously pleased that he noticed.  “I figured if I’m gonna pretend to be a part of the human race, I should look like it.”

Lance sat on the edge of the bed.  “I like your hair up.  And you ARE a part of the human race.  I am determined to make you see that.”

“Whatever,” Lara said, frowning. 

“I have something for you,” Lance said, picking up a bag from where he had placed it on the floor.  He carefully set the small CD player on her lap.  Lara carefully let her fingers wander over it.  “It’s a CD player.  It has speakers built in.  I thought you might like to have it.”

“But I can’t tell what CD is what unless I listen to every one!”  Lara said angrily, shoving the CD player back at him.

“Quit being a bitch,” Lance said sternly, and Lara froze.  He almost regretted the words, but realized that what she needed was to be bossed into doing what she needed to do to recuperate.  “I’m getting to that.  Ari gave me some of your favorite CDs.”  He placed the CDs in her hand.  “Two Backstreet Boys, two NSYNC, the Evita soundtrack, and a Harry Connick, Jr. CD.  Feel here.”  He placed her fingers on the front of the case, where he had placed electrical tape.  “I marked the Backstreet Boys with a B one and B two, NSYNC with a N one and N two, Evita with an E, and Harry Connick with an H.  Can you feel that?”

“Yes,” Lara said slowly, letting her fingers explore the tape.

“Now, move your fingers up.”

“That’s Braille.  I don’t know Braille,” Lara said angrily, tears jumping to her eyes.

“Not yet,” Lance told her gently.  “Each CD has the name of the artist and the name of the CD in Braille.  Your job is to learn the letters as you listen today.  Tomorrow I’ll test you.”

“Braille tests…therapy…you and Darlene are trying to kill me,” Lara grumbled, but she opened the Backstreet Boys’ Millennium CD.

“Quite the contrary…we’re trying to bring you back to the land of the living,” Lance said softly.

 

“Maybe this is a bad idea,” Ari said as they rode the elevator to Lara’s floor.  “She probably hates me.”

“She doesn’t hate you,” JC told her, putting an arm around her shoulders and squeezing.  Ari looked up at him and blushed.  “How could anyone possibly hate you?”  He murmured, slowly lowering his head to hers.  The elevator doors opened and they pulled apart.

 

“Hey,” Ari said softly, poking her head in the door.  “Can we come in?”

“Ari, is that you?”  Lara looked towards the door.  “Yes, come in.  Who is with you?”

“This is my friend Josh,” Lance told her quickly.  “He and Ari met one day when he came to pick me up.”

“Hi,” JC said.

“Hi, Josh,” Lara said quietly.  “Ari, I’m sorry I was being so stubborn before.”

“It’s okay, honey,” Ari said quickly, sitting on the edge of the bed and hugging Lara.  “You look great.”

“We brought you flowers,” JC told her, carefully laying them in her lap.  Lara brought the bouquet up to her face.

“Mmm…white roses.” Lara buried her face in their sweet scent.

“You can tell that by the smell?”  JC asked, amazed.  Lara laughed, a welcome sound to Ari’s ears.

“No…they’re my favorite flower and I was pretty sure Ari remembered that.”

 

“You are a miracle worker,” Ari said as she, Lance and JC left the room for some lunch.  “How in the world did you do it?”

“I just treated her like a human being,” Lance said modestly.  “She’s not out of the woods yet.  She’s at the point where she thinks she can’t do anything on her own…that she will never be self-sufficient.  I’ve been talking to Darlene and Dr. Dryden a lot about it.”

“Dr. Dryden,” Ari repeated, drooling.  JC shoved her.

“Jealous much?”  Lance asked, amused.

“No…not at all,” JC said, looking everywhere but at Ari.

“I’ll go get the car.”  Ari bounced out to the parking garage.

“You like her…admit it,” Lance said to JC.

“Only when you admit that you like Lara that way, too,” JC retorted.

“I don’t like her like that!  I hardly know her…”

“You like her,” JC interrupted.  “You’re one of the nicest guys I know, Lance, but some girl you hardly know is not enough to make you pack up and move to Pennsylvania…unless you have feelings for her.”

“No comment,” Lance replied, walking out to the hospital driveway.

“Obsessed,” JC muttered to himself.

 

“Here, you go, Lance, one…” Ari stopped as she stepped into the living room carrying Lance’s dinner.  A book was flat across his chest and his head was leaned against the back of the sofa.  He quietly snored, never hearing her come in.  JC almost ran over Ari as he tried to stop.

“What’s up?”  He asked.

“Shhh,” Ari said, carefully shutting the door that connected the living room to the hallway.  “Lance is asleep.”

“No wonder, as late as he was up last night.”  They went into the kitchen and sat at the table.  “He spent hours studying that book last night.  He’s determined to learn Braille if it kills him.”

“Wow,” Ari said, impressed.

“What do you think your friend will do when she realizes who he is?”  JC asked with his mouth full of chicken.

“Do you think he’s ever gonna tell her the truth?”  Ari retorted.  They stared at each other.  “I don’t know,” she answered finally.

“Me either,” JC echoed.

They finished their dinner in an almost silence.  “Wanna go for a walk?”  Ari asked him.  “These dishes can wait.”

“Sounds great.”  JC slipped on his sneakers while Ari found her sandals.  They cut across the backyard of the apartment building and started to slowly walk down the alley behind the apartments.  He reached over and grabbed her hand, swinging it between them.  Ari was surprised, but didn’t say anything.

“It’s really great, what Lance is doing,” Ari said finally for something to say.  “I mean, most “normal” people wouldn’t do something like that, not to mention a famous performer.”

JC stopped walking.  “You don’t think we’re normal.”

Ari could have punched herself in the head.  “No, that’s not what I meant at all.  I mean…I meant…oh hell.”  She turned beet red and stared at her toenail polish.  “I guess I’m so confused.  I mean, one minute Lara is comatose.  Then Lance Bass of freaking NSYNC comes waltzing into town and she’s talking and laughing.  One minute I’m watching you guys on HBO and the next minute I’m walking hand in hand with JC Chasez.”

JC tenderly pushed a lock of hair from her face.  “Is this such a bad place to be?”

“No, of course not,” Ari said softly.  She gazed up into his blue eyes.  “I just don’t want you guys to decide that it’s time to go, and you realize that I was just a dalliance for you…someone to play with.”

“Oh, Ari, I would never think that about you.”  He stroked her cheek with the back of his hand.  “You are no plaything to me.  I really really like you.  In some ways you are as strong as Lara.  You’ve stood by her since day one of all this, being the friend she so desperately needed even if she didn’t think she did.  You’re something special.”

“Really?”  Ari whispered.

“Really,” JC replied as he kissed her upturned lips.

THREE DAYS LATER

“Wow…you are learning at an amazing speed!”  Lance told Lara, closing the Braille book.  “I am impressed.”

“Why do you know Braille, anyway?”  Lara asked, turning her sightless blue eyes on him.

Lance wasn’t prepared for something like that.  “Well, uh…just thought it would be good…I’m thinking about a few different fields that I’d like to study, so, you know…”

“How old are you?”  She demanded.

“Twenty-one.  Why?”

“Just nosy,” she said with a smile.

“Okay. I have a surprise for you.”  Lance pulled something out of his backpack and Lara could hear him hooking it up to the phone.  “I brought Josh’s laptop along.  Ari got me approved onto your mailing list, so I thought I could send an email to them for you.”

“I thought Ari already did,” Lara said, frowning.

“No, she just said that you were in an accident.  She left it to you to tell them the truth,” Lance said gently.  “You guys are whacked, by the way…you are way too obsessed with these boybands.”

“Shut up,” Lara said affectionately.

“I could let you type,” he suggested.  She shook her head.

“No.  I don’t like typos and I would make a million.  You type it.”

“Okay, but go slow.  I’m not a fast typist.”

“Okay.”  She took a deep breath.  “To sisterswhowrite at onelist.com…subject…back from the dead.”  Lance looked up at her quickly.  “Hi there everyone…sorry I haven’t written in so long.  Actually, I’m not even writing this at all.”  She waited for Lance to catch up.  “As Ari told you, I was in an accident…but it’s more serious then she let on.  I was leaving the Federal Building here in Harrisburg when the explosion occurred.  I’m sure you’ve all heard about it.”  Another pause.  “I ended up with a dislocated left shoulder, broken right arm and broken right leg.  All of those things are healing nicely.”  She took another deep breath.  “Unfortunately, something with the explosion totally fucked up my eyes…and…and…” She fought the tears.  “And I can’t see.  It could be permanent. That is why someone else is typing for me.”  Lara wiped the tears away angrily.  “Anyway, Ari has been reading me your stuff and it’s all good.  I am still Lyst Tyrant…that’s l-y-s-t,” she spelled for Lance.  “…Kelley, so don’t even think of a mutiny.  Email me if you want.  Lara.”

Lance hit send and smiled at her.  “I’m proud of you.”

“Why?”

“You are very brave…in more ways than one.”

“I’m just a reflection of the people around me,” she said softly.  He blushed.

“Mind if I check my email?”

“Of course not,” Lara told him.  He quickly logged into his email and groaned.

“Oh, fuck.  FUCK NO!” He snapped at the small screen in front of him.

“What?  What is it, Jay?”  Lara asked, placing a hand over his.  He involuntarily took her hand and held it, sighing.

“Oh, I have to go back home for a few weeks.”  Lance glared at the email from Chris, telling him that Jive wanted him back for a while to discuss the next album. “No longer than two months.”

“Two months!” Lara wailed.  “How the hell will I do anything without you?”  She started to get hysterical.  “Jay, you’re all that keeps me sane.  I can’t do it without you!”  She sobbed.  He put the computer aside and took her in his arms.

“Lara, baby,” he said the endearment unconsciously.  “You’ll be fine.  By the time I get back I bet you’re even back home in your apartment.  You can do it.”

“No,” she wailed against his shoulder.

He pulled back and took her head in his hands.  “Listen to me.  I MUST go back, okay?  I can’t get out of it.  But I will come back.  I promise.  I won’t be gone for long.”

“You promise?”  Lara looked towards the sound of his voice, feeling his warm breath on her face.  She felt his lips press to her forehead…her cheeks…her nose.

“I promise.  I will be back to take care of you.  I won’t desert you.”

Two Months Later

 

“I promise I’ll be fine.  Darlene checks in on me every day around lunchtime.  Will you please just go the hell home?”  Lara told Ari as she folded socks.

“Well, what if something happens?  What if the house catches on fire?  What if…”

“Ari, blind people live on their own all the time.  If the house catches on fire, I’ll smell it.  If something happens, I know how to dial nine one one, okay?”  Lara said, smiling. 

“I just worry,” Ari said.  This was only a half-truth.  The other part was that she enjoyed having Lara to fuss over, because it kept her mind off of JC.  He had emailed once a week since he and Lance had returned to Florida, but she still worried.  What if the whole fling thing was just as she had expected?

“I’ll be fine.  I really wish you would go back home and salvage your job.  I’ll never be able to live on my own if I always have someone around to take care of me,” Lara said softly.  With Jay away, she had finally realized that.  Her broken bones were healing at a miraculous pace, which had a lot to do with her state of mind.  “Have you heard from Josh?”

“Yesterday,” Ari said with a smile.  “How about you?  Did Jay call?”

“Um…no…not this week,” Lara said with a frown.  “Oh well…I’m sure he has studies and things that are keeping him busy.”

“All right…all packed.”  Ari zipped her suitcase shut.  “If you need ANYTHING…you call…middle of the night, whenever. Understand?”

“Yes, mom,” Lara promised.  They hugged.  “Thanks so much for everything.”

“You owe me big time, that’s all,” Ari said with a smile.  “I'll call when I’m home.”  She left, dragging her suitcase behind her.

Lara sighed as she went back into the living room and turned on the computer Jay had found for her.  He insisted that the insurance company would cover it, though she didn’t quite believe him.  He had been so vague about the computer’s origin, however, that she didn’t press the point.  It was a special computer that would read everything since she couldn’t read it herself.  She clicked back on the last email from Jay, dated the day after he had left.  He was home and fine, he told her, and he hoped that he would be back soon.  That was the last she had heard from him. 

Lara angrily turned the computer off and stood up quickly.  The chair caught the edge of a bookcase, knocking a vase of flowers to the floor.  She bent down without thinking to pick up the glass and cursed when she felt a shard dig into her palm.  She sat down hard, crying into her bloody hands, wondering what had happened to make Jay stop talking to her.  She credited him as her savior, yes, but she had come to care for him very deeply while he had been there.

 

“Excuse me, Lance?  Can I talk to you a minute?”  An accountant poked his head into the conference room where NSYNC, their agents, managers, and people from Jive were having an impromptu planning meeting for the next CD.

“Anything you have to say can be said here.  I have nothing to hide,” Lance said with a smile.  Everyone knew that he was probably the most careful with his money.  He did not spend extravagantly, and carefully recorded every expense and kept all the records up to date.

The accountant stepped into the room, glancing nervously at the folder he carried.  “Well…uh…it’s just that I’m showing some large withdrawals from your accounts every month, and I…uh…it looked suspicious.”  The accountant suddenly found the floor very interesting to look at.  He knew how carefully Lance Bass took care of his money, and shit would hit the fan if errors were being made.

“What kind of withdrawals?”  Lance’s green eyes narrowed.

“Well…uh…monthly payments to a hospital, therapist and doctor in Pennsylvania, as well as various stores and companies,” the man said.  Lance leaned back in his chair.

“Oh…that…that’s fine.  All of those things have been authorized by me.”  He smiled at the man.  “Thanks so much for keeping up with it, though.”

“You’re welcome.”  The man disappeared.

“Okay, back to the producers,” one of the Jive men said, bringing the meeting back on track.  JC, Joey, Justin and Chris stared at Lance.

 

“Um, what was that all about?”  JC asked as soon as they were back at Justin’s house for dinner.  “What’s going on?”

“What do you mean?” Lance asked, getting out plates for the pizza.

“The money, Lance.  You know what he means,” Chris said.

“You’re paying for her, aren’t you?  You’re paying her doctor, her therapist, the bills from the hospital…” Justin said in amazement.

“What if I am? It’s my money, and…”

“Look, Lance, I’m sure she’s great and all, but maybe this is what she’s wanted all along.  Maybe she knew you had money and…” Joey began, but was interrupted by his body being slammed against the kitchen wall by the much-smaller Lance.

“I do NOT want to hear anyone say anything like that again, do you understand me?”  Lance growled.  “If I DO hear it again, the group will be smaller by one member, because I will kick the living shit out of whoever says it, okay?”

“Um, sure, Lance, sorry,” Joey sputtered.  Lance released him and stormed out onto the deck.  The four men looked at each other.

“She doesn’t know, dumbass,” JC said to Joey.  “She has no freaking clue who he is.  She thinks he’s just some volunteer at the hospital.”

“You’re kidding!” Justin gasped.  No one but JC had known the truth until that moment.  Lance figured it was none of their business.

“No, I’m not.”

“Hey, guys, what’s…” Shelley’s voice trailed off as she, Alison, and Jill walked into the kitchen.  All the girlfriends were visiting for a few weeks.  “Everything okay here?”

“Hey, Honey,” JC said, using Justin’s pet name for her that had stuck as a nickname.  “We’re fine.”

“What are you doing here?”  Joey asked, giving Alison a hug.  “Thought you all went to a movie.”

“Shel forgot something so we came back quick.”

Chris kissed Jill’s nose.  “I’m gonna go out and talk to Lance.  Have a good time at the movies.”  He went out to the deck.

“I don’t feel like talking,” Lance said as soon as Chris shut the door behind him.

“That’s fine.  I’ll talk.”  Chris sat down on the porch swing.  “I couldn’t believe it when you slammed Joey up like that.  Didn’t know you had it in you, Lance.”

“Yeah, well, I get sudden strength when I’m pissed off, I guess,” Lance said, looking down at Justin’s pool.

“That’s cool you’re paying for all that stuff,” Chris said. Lance turned to look at him.  “Seriously.  I think it’s really nice.  It’s totally a Lance Bass thing to do.”  Chris turned his dark eyes up to Lance’s face.  “But when will she find out that Lance Bass did it?”

Lance ran a hand through his hair.  “I don’t know.  I’ve come so close to telling her.  I really like her, Chris.  I like her a lot.  It’s not a sympathy thing, either.  She’s pretty, she’s smart, she likes to laugh…she’s a kind person, too.   But I’m just afraid that I’m so far into the lie now that if and when she DOES find out the truth, she’ll hate me.”  A small smile crossed his face.  “I’m her favorite of the whole band, you know.  Ironic, huh?”

“Figures,” Chris grumbled, pretending to be jealous.  Lance laughed, then grew serious.

“I’ve only contacted her once since I came back here.  I’m afraid that if I continue to talk to her, I’ll tell her the truth, and I don’t know if I’m ready to do that.”

A MONTH LATER

“Ari!”  Lara almost screamed into the phone as soon as her friend picked up.

“What?  Lara?  Is everything okay?”

“Yes yes YES!”  Lara shouted.  “I just got a call from Dr. Dryden.  He says there is a surgical procedure that is still being tested that MAY restore my sight!  Isn’t that fantastic?”

“Are you serious?”  Ari asked.  “I mean, how new is it?”

“They’ve been refining it for about a year or two now.  I told him I would most definitely be a guinea pig.”

“Lara, you should check into it.  Maybe…”

“I HAVE checked into it.  I’ve been all over the Internet researching it.  It’s been done about twenty times in the United States, with an eighty-percent success rate.  It’s not like it could get any worse,” Lara said, sobering quickly.

“True,” Ari said softly.  “I’m glad to hear it, honey.”

“I need you to do me two favors,” Lara said.  “I need you to be here for the surgery, and I need you to call Josh.  I want him to tell Jay what’s going on…just so he knows.”

“Haven’t heard from him yet, huh?” Ari asked.

“No…and that’s fine.  He did what I needed him to do.  I just think he should know.”

 

“So…JC…Lance…the only single members of the group.  Any special women we should know about?”  The interviewer asked with a smile.  Lance smiled back, gritting his teeth.  He hated this kind of question.

“No, Kricket, we just haven’t been fortunate enough to find that special someone yet,” he answered for both he and JC. “The other guys’ girlfriends are fantastic women, and I hope we can find someone that great.”

“Does that go for you, too, JC?”  She asked, smiling sweetly at him.  JC sighed.  Kricket was the top teen gossip columnist, and she always seemed to dig below the surface and find things you didn’t want to tell, even if you did the best to hide them.

“Yes, well…” he was interrupted by his cellphone.  “Excuse me.”  He took a few steps away from the table and answered it.  “Hello?”

“JC?  This is Ari.”

“Ari?  Is everything okay?  Is it Lara?”  JC gasped.  He had told her to use the cellphone only for emergencies, since he was usually very busy.

“Yes, everything’s fine, but it has to do with her,” Ari replied, smiling at the sound of his voice.

 

“Are you serious?  When?  Where?”

Everyone looked over at JC, who was practically shouting into his cellphone.  He blushed and spoke so they couldn’t hear.

“What’s that all about?”  Kricket asked curiously.

“No clue,” Justin replied quickly.  The others shook their heads.

“Is that everything you need?” Lance asked, standing up.  The others stared at him.  Lance was never this rude. 

“Um…yes…I think that will do for now,” Kricket replied, staring at Lance and then JC curiously.

“Later,” Lance said, then hurried over to JC.

“Okay…I’ll tell him.  Yes, I’ll do that.  I promise.  Bye.”  JC hung up and turned to Lance.  “We need to talk.”

 

“Okay…JC…we are like a hundred miles down the beach.  No one will hear us and no one will recognize us,” Lance sighed.  JC had driven to the beach like a bat out of hell, and he insisted on walking a good mile and a half before he would sit down.  “What’s wrong?”

“It’s Lara,” JC replied. Lance’s face paled. “No…nothing like that.”  JC smacked himself.  “Sorry…bad way to begin.  They’re going to perform surgery on her…she may regain her sight.”

Lance just stared at him.  “Regain her sight?  That’s fabulous!”

“Yes, it is,” JC agreed.  “She told Ari to call me so I’d tell you.  She figures you’re too busy for her but she wanted you to know.”  He put a hand on his friend’s shoulder.  “I think you really need to come clean with her about this.  Ari agrees.”

Lance shrugged JC’s hand off.  “This has nothing to do with you or Ari.”

“Yes, it does, Lance.  We lived the lie with you.  We helped you live it.  Therefore this has a lot to do with us.”

“You’re right,” Lance sighed.  “I don’t know what to do, JC.  What if she hates me?”

“Your only alternative is to just disappear out of her life, Lance.  Do you really want to do that?”

“No,” Lance said immediately.  JC smiled. 

“Thought so.”  JC stood up and brushed off his jeans.  “Let’s go back to the car.  You need to call management.”

“I do?”  Lance was confused.

“You need to call and tell them that in two weeks you’ll be out of town.  You want to be there during the surgery, don’t you?”

Two weeks later

 

“What if she’s not here? What if she hates me for not calling her more?  What if we get off the plane and no one is there?”  JC whined from his seat in the front row of first class.  Lance glared at him from across the aisle.  The flight from Florida to Baltimore was almost empty and there were only six other people in all of first class.

“JC, if you say that one more time I will open the door and throw you the fuck out,” Lance snapped.  JC stared at him and then smiled.  He knew that if Lance used language as vulgar as that he was either really pissed off or really nervous.

“No you won’t,” JC said cheerfully.  He flagged down a stewardess.  “PLEASE get this man something to drink.  He needs it.”

 

Ari paced in front of the gate.  She watched the plane pull in and sighed with apprehension.  Would JC hug her?  Would he just say hi?  Was he still interested?  They had talked online at least once a week, but maybe he just considered her a friend.  Maybe…

“Ari!”  She whirled around and saw JC striding towards her with a huge smile on his face.  She hesitated a second and then threw herself into his open arms, snuggling close.  “God, I’ve missed you so much.”  He hugged her close, breathing in the scent of her shampoo.  “I’m so sorry I didn’t call more.  I’ve been so busy and…”

“It’s okay,” Ari said, trying to keep the tears from falling.  He was so handsome, and his blue eyes were shining with joy at the idea of seeing her again.

“Ahem,” Lance cleared his throat loudly.  JC sent him an annoyed look.  Ari laughed.

“Hey, Lancers.”  She gave him a big hug.

“Ahem,” JC cleared his throat just as loudly.  Ari laughed again and hugged JC once more.  He punctuated the hug with a long kiss.

“Can we go now, please?”  Lance practically tapped his foot impatiently.

“Yes, Lance,” JC sighed.  Ari led the way to the luggage carousel.

 

“So…uh…how is she doing?”  Lance asked as Ari got on the highway towards Pennsylvania.

“She’s fine.  She’s in a good mood…excited, obviously,” Ari replied.

“What does the doctor say?” JC wanted to know.

“He thinks the operation will be a success.  I hope so, as high as her hopes are right now.” She glanced at Lance in the rearview mirror.  “You gonna tell her?”

“I have to,” he said decidedly.  “I don’t want to, but I have to.”

“He thinks she’s gonna hate him,” JC told her.  Ari rolled her eyes.

“You are Lance Bass, the man she has been in love with for like two years now.  She won’t hate you.”

“She’ll hate me,” Lance muttered as he looked out the window.

 

Lara turned her head towards the doorway as she heard it open.  “Ari, I told you to go the hell home.  What are you doing back here?  You saw when you were here last night that I am perfectly fine.”

“Yes…you are…” a deep voice said.  Lara’s face lit up.

“Jay?  Is that you?”

“Yes, it is.”  Lance sat on the edge of the bed, looking at the face he loved light up at the sound of his voice.  “I’m sorry I didn’t contact you.  I…”

“Don’t make excuses,” Lara said softly.  She reached over until she felt his hand in hers.  “You’re here now.”

“And I’m gonna be here all day tomorrow.  I got special permission to sit with you during the surgery.  I’ll be holding your hand the whole time.”

“Really?”  Lara whispered.  “You came back here for that?”

“Yes…for you,” Lance said softly.  “I’ve been thinking a lot, Lara, and…”

“Time for dinner!”  A student nurse whisked into the room cheerfully.  When she saw who was sitting on the edge of the bed she almost dropped the tray.  Lance quickly motioned for her to say nothing.  “Um…I’ll sit it here on the table,” she said nervously.  She put the tray down and practically ran from the room.

“You must be scary looking.  Usually she stays here and talks my ear off,” Lara told Lance with a smile.  She sighed.  “I can’t wait to see what you look like. I bet you’re very handsome.”

“Yeah, well, I probably just look like someone you’ve seen before…no big deal…” Lance hedged, sliding the bed table across Lara’s chest so she could eat. “Do you need some help?”

“Nope.  I’ve been doing very good on my own, thank you.”  She picked up the knife and fork and carefully began to cut.

“Let me, please…it’s probably the last time you’ll let me do something for you,” Lance said sadly, gently taking the utensils from her.

“Um…when do you have to leave again?”  Lara asked, hating to hear the answer.

“Not for a few days.  I’m sure you’ll be begging me to leave once the surgery’s over,” he told her.

“Doubtful.  I’m so glad you’re here, Jay,” she said, smiling up at him.  Lance swallowed and said nothing.

 

“You won’t leave…not for a second?”  Lara asked Lance fearfully as they hooked up the IV that would help her fall asleep.

“Not for a minute,” Lance promised. “The only time I will even let go of your hand is if I am in the way.  Even then I won’t leave the room.”

“I’m afraid, Jay,” Lara said, tears threatening to fall.  “What if it doesn’t work?”

“It’s gonna work,” Lance told her, praying as he said it.  “And even if it doesn’t, you have learned to live on your own.  You can do it.”

“Thank you,” she whispered, already beginning to feel drowsy.  Lance held her hand as they wheeled her into the operating room.  She whimpered when he let got.

“Gotta put the scrubs on,” he reminded her.  A nurse moved him into a prep room and quickly outfitted him in green surgical clothes.  He smiled as what looked like a shower cap was placed around his spiky hair.  He was glad she couldn’t see him.  When he approached the gurney, Lara was fighting sleep.  “Here I am.”

“Afraid…Jay…don’t…leave…”

“I won’t leave, honey.  I’m right here.”  Lance took a tight hold of her hand.  “I love you, Lara.”

“Love…you…too…” Lara mumbled, making Lance’s heart skip a beat.

 

Ari jumped up as soon as Lance entered the waiting room.  “Well?”

“Mama, look!”  A little girl in the corner said. “It’s Lance from NSYNC!”

“Jenny, quiet,” the mother ordered.  “That’s not him.”

“And JC!”  The little girl’s mouth dropped open.  Lance and JC looked at each other.

“Hello,” JC said to the little girl.  “Why are you here in the hospital?”

“My daddy is here.  His heart is hurting and they have to fix it.” The little girl, who looked to be about eight or nine, stared up at JC with big blue eyes.

“I’m sorry to hear that,” JC said softly.  The mother, who had finally realized that it really WAS JC and Lance, asked if they would mind signing an autograph.

“Of course not,” Lance told her with a smile, quickly scribbling his name.

“Why are you here?”  Jenny asked. JC and Lance looked at each other.

“A friend of ours is sick, too.  We’re here for her.”

They each hugged the little girl then went back over to Ari.  “Okay…what’s going on?”

“The surgery is over with,” Lance said with a sigh, pulling the cap from his head.  “She needs to rest now, and they’ll remove the bandages tomorrow.”

“I can’t wait that long!”  Ari moaned.  JC put an arm around her.

“Tell me about it,” Lance mumbled, going over to look out the window.

 

Ari woke up at about seven the next morning.  She, JC and Lance were sharing a two-room hotel suite, with her in the bedroom and then men in the living room.  When she tiptoed out of the bedroom, she saw JC snoring away on the sofa.  Lance was nowhere to be found.  She threw on a tshirt and shorts and softly let herself out the door. 

When she got out to the parking lot, she saw Lance leaning against her car, sipping at a cup of coffee.  “Where’d you get that?”  Ari asked, making him jump.

“The machine in the lobby.  Leaves a lot to be desired.”  He offered her the cup but she shook her head.

“You okay?”

“No…but I will survive.” Lance gave her a small smile.  “I love her, Ari.”

“I know you do,” Ari replied.  “She cares about you, too, Lance.”

“No.  She cares about Jay.  The only Lance she knows is the one on TV, or on the radio.” Lance dumped the coffee onto the pavement and tossed the cup into a nearby trashcan.

“Then you’ll just have to show her that they’re both the same person: you.”

“Easier said then done.”  Lance rubbed his temples.  “I’m gonna go shower a while.  I can’t stand waiting around like this.  Ten o’clock is a million hours away.”

 

“Hey, girl,” Ari said as they entered Lara’s hospital room at five minutes of ten.  They had been told not to come in until then to give Lara time to rest.

“Hey,” Lara replied, smiling towards the doorway.  “Is everyone here?”

“Of course they are…I have arrived,” JC joked, earning a punch in the arm from Lance.

“Yes, all three of us are here,” Lance said, sitting on the far side of the bed.  He took her hand.  “How do you feel?”

“Good.  Nervous.  Scared to death,” Lara said, turning her face towards him.  “Yesterday,” she began softly so only he could hear.  “I thought I heard you say you loved me. Did you?”

Lance swallowed deeply, then decided to start telling the truth.  “Yes,” he replied.  “I did.”

Lara’s face lit up.  “I knew it!  I knew I wasn’t hearing things!  I…”

“Well, how are we doing in here?”  Dr. Dryden burst in the door.  “Good morning, everyone.”

“Hey,” Lance almost growled at him.  JC and Ari stood against the wall near the foot of the bed, giving Dr. Dryden room to sit down.

“How is my patient?”

“Good…eager to see what you look like.  Ari has talked you up so much I feel like I'll be looking at Mel Gibson,” Lara said, laughing.  Ari turned crimson and JC stared at her.

“Oh, I doubt that,” the doctor said with a smile.  “Okay.  I’m gonna start unwinding this, but I want you to keep your eyes closed.  The light will probably shock them for the first few seconds.  I want you to blink when I tell you, and don’t stop until I say so.  Understand?”

“Yes,” Lara said, squeezing Lance’s hand tightly.  Lance put a hand on the doctor’s arm, motioning for him to wait.

“Lara, never forget something, okay?  I didn’t mean for it to go this far…I never meant to make you feel about me the way you do…I never expected to feel the way I do about you…okay?”  Lance said softly.

“Um…okay…” Lara said, confused.  Lance nodded at the doctor.  Lara felt the bandages unwind and obediently kept her eyes closed.

“Okay…blink good and fast,” the doctor told her. She blinked furiously until he told her to stop.  “Slowly open them.”

Lara opened her eyes, and winced at the brightness that filled them. “I see light!” She said happily.  She blinked once or twice more, smiling broadly as the doctor’s face came into focus before her.  “Wow, Ari, you weren’t lying!”  She saw the doctor blush.

“Everything clear?”

“Well, almost…it’s a bit fuzzy but I think…” Lara slowly turned her head to see Jay.  She gasped as she saw the man who was holding her hand. “Lance…Bass?  What are you doing here?  Where’s Jay?”

 

Lara withdrew her hand from the hand that held it.  “What’s going on here?  Where’s Jay?”  She said, her eyes wildly darting around the room.  “Ari?  Who is that next…is that JC Chasez?”  Lara almost shrieked.

“Lara, calm down,” the doctor said gently.  “I don’t want to have to give you a sedative.”

“I don’t NEED a damn sedative!”  Lara shouted.  “I need Jay?  Where’s Jay?”

“Come on…let’s leave them alone,” the doctor said, giving Lance a sympathetic look.  He led Ari and JC out of the room.  Lara stared up at Lance, confusion filling the blue eyes that could finally see him.

“Where’s Jay?  What are you doing here?  I want Jay!”

Lance shivered at the pure hysterical fear in her voice.  “Lara…I’m Jay.  It was me.”

“It wasn’t you,” Lara snapped.  “You’re not Jay.  You’re Lance Bass.  You’re a famous pop star who would never have the time of day for someone like me?”

“Someone like you?  What’s that supposed to mean?” Lance replied almost angrily.  “Close your eyes and listen to my voice.  Doesn’t it sound familiar?”

“I’m not closing my eyes ever again,” Lara said, her voice like ice.  “You don’t know what it’s like.  I want to know what you’re doing here and what you did with Jay!”

  Lance sat at the foot of the bed.  Lara scrunched as far away from him as possible.  “Let’s see…Joey Fatone…looks like he painted a barn with his head…Chris Kirkpatrick…the braids made him look like a pineapple…Lance Bass…his eyes are kinda uneven but otherwise he looks okay,” Lance recited, remembering the day he had read the teen magazines to her.  Lara turned white and he was afraid she was going to pass out.  “Are you okay?  Do you need me to call the doctor?”  He grabbed her hand.

“No…I’m not okay, but I don’t need a doctor.”  She snaked her hand from his.  “You’re Jay?  You’re James…” she laughed a cold laugh.  “James.  Of course.  How could I have been so stupid?  And Josh…JC…duh.”  She unconsciously wiped away the tears that flowed down her face.  “You lied to me.”

“I was afraid that you would freak out if you knew it was me…funny…why in the world would I have thought that?”  Lance said almost sarcastically, his green eyes full of sadness.

“You lied…how much of what you said was lies?”  Lara whispered.  “The computer…that’s how you got it…the insurance didn’t pay for it, did they?”

Lance shook his head.  “They didn’t pay for much of anything.”

“So how…” Lara’s eyes widened.  “You’ve been paying for this all along, haven’t you?  I don’t believe this!”  She slowly slid her legs to the side of the bed and stood, walking to the window.  She sighed as she looked out at the grassy lawn behind the hospital.  What a welcome sight.  “Who needs a foundation like Justin’s?  You can just go around the country feeling sorry for blind girls, giving them money, talking them out of their depression.”

“Lara, I didn’t feel sorry for you!”  Lance exclaimed.  This was worse then he ever could have imagined.  “I love you.  I fell in love with you months ago, blind or otherwise.”

“Please leave.”  Lara turned around, her eyes an icy blue.  “Leave and do not come back.  And take your friend and his girlfriend with you.”

“Don’t be mad at Ari, Lara.  She was only doing what she thought would help.”

“Go away, Lance Bass.  Don’t call me…don’t visit me…don’t write me letters.  Just leave.”  Lara turned back to the window.

“Lara, please,” Lance begged.  She winced at the raw emotion in his voice.  “Just turn around so I can tell you one thing.”

She sighed and turned around.  He was right in front of her.  “What?”

Lance grabbed her arms and pulled her to him.  Before she could fight, he was giving her a tender yet passionate kiss.  “We are not done.  I will not let you go this easily.  I fought to practically save you from the grave.  I still have a lot of fight in me and I’m not giving up.”  He turned on one heel and left the room before she could reply.

 

“Lara, are you sure I can’t call someone to pick you up?” Dr. Dryden asked as he walked her to the door of the hospital three days later.

“Absolutely.  A taxi is fine.  Besides…I don’t have anyone to come for me,” she told him.  She smiled up at him.  “Thank you for everything, Dr. Dryden.”

“Lara…give him a chance.  He did so much…was so worried…”

Lara frowned.  “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”  She stepped into the taxi and slammed the door.

 

A furball slammed itself at her feet as soon as she unlocked the door.  “Harley!”  Lara said happily, picking the kitten up and hugging it.  “Mommy’s missed you so much.”  She wondered who had been taking care of him…probably the lady downstairs.  She set him on the sofa and took a long look around her living room.  She smiled as she drank it all in.  It was little, it was modest, but it was all hers and she could see every inch of it.  She picked Harley up once more and wandered into the kitchen.  There was a note from the lady downstairs, next to a large bouquet of white roses.  Lara smiled.  Ruth was so sweet.  She frowned as she read the note that had come with the flowers.

“I know…you said not to contact you, but I could not resist sending you a welcome home bouquet.  I miss you so much.  Please call if you need anything.  All my love, Lance.”  Lara frowned and crumpled the note up in her hand.  She was tempted to toss the flowers as well, but she decided they were too beautiful to waste.  She arranged them in a vase and set them on the entertainment center in the living room.  She noticed her answering machine light was blinking.

“Lara, it’s Ari. Please call me.  We need to talk.  We’ve gone through too much shit to let our friendship just die like this.  I’m sorry I didn’t tell you…but it was all kinda freaky for me, too.  I mean, JC Chasez, for God’s sake!”  Lara had to smile.  “Call…okay?  Please…bye.”

Lara stared at the phone for a long moment, then dialed Ari’s number.

“Hello?”

“Ari, it’s Lara.”

“Hey!”

“I got your message.”

“Are you still mad at me?”

Lara sighed.  “Not really.  I know you were just trying to help.”

“I was, really.  And it’s not like you would have believed me if I had told you the truth.”

“I still find it hard to believe,” Lara said, flopping down onto the sofa.  “So, what’s JC like?”

“Wonderful,” Ari sighed.  “He’s so handsome…and sweet…and kind.  Shy, really.”

“Sounds great,” Lara said, staring at the computer on the desk, wondering if she should keep it.

“Lara, call Lance.  He loves you very much, and he’s hurting so bad right now.”

“I don’t WANT to call him,” Lara snapped.  “I want nothing to do with him.”

“Look at all he’s done for you.  If he…”

“Exactly.  I’m some kind charity case to him.  He didn’t love me…he felt sorry for me.”

“And you don’t love him?”

“No.  I love the man I thought he was.  Look, Ari…I have to get settled in.  I’ll call you some other time.”  Lara hung up and cried.

 

“Ari talked to her,” JC told Lance a few days later as they rode in a limo to yet another press conference.  JC, Lance, Justin and Shelley were in one limo, while Chris, Jill, Alison and Joey were in another.

“And?”  Lance looked at him.

“And she’s fine…but she still doesn’t want to talk to you,” JC finished sadly.

“Oh.”  Lance stared out the window.

“Lansten, trust me.  She’s not worth the trouble,” Justin said, trying to be helpful.  Shelley smacked him.

“Not what he wants to hear right now, Sweetie.”  She turned to Lance.  “Lance, give her some time. Sounds like she’s really been through a lot.  She needs some space.”

“She doesn’t need space.  She hates me.  I should have been truthful a lot sooner!”  Lance pounded the seat with his fist.

 

Lara fell onto the sofa, determined to keep Harley out of her dinner for once. She munched on the tuna pita, continually tossing toys onto the floor to keep the kitten distracted.  She picked up the remote and turned on Entertainment Tonight.

“Thank you, Mary.  Here I am, on the red carpet in front of one of this town’s biggest charity events.  I have a great view from here; everyone who’s anyone passes by this spot.  There are Catherine Zeta-Jones and Michael Douglas, Michael J. Fox and his wife Tracy, and here come the young men of NSYNC with their dates!  JC Chasez is noticeably solo, but there are Justin, Joey and Chris with their girlfriends and…who is that beauty with Lance Bass?  I’ll try to get the scoop!  Back to you, Mary.”

Lara stared at the TV.  Lance Bass?  Beauty?  She fought tears as she looked at the beautiful redhead on Lance’s arm.  Yes, she was definitely beautiful.  The phone rang and she ignored it, deciding to just bury her head in her arms and sob.  She had chased him away…he had found someone else.

 

“Never AGAIN!” Lance stormed as they walked in the front door of Joey’s house.  He ripped off his tie and tossed it on a table.  “I will never again let management set me up like that.”

“She was kinda cute,” Chris observed.  Jill poked him.

“Quiet, sweetie,” she said.

Joey went over to the bar and poured Lance a vodka and cranberry juice, light on the juice.  He silently handed it to him.  Lance took a large gulp and continued to rant.

“I mean…that big red hair was like always in my face, and she was always flipping it around.” Another gulp.  “And her voice…God…it…it sounded like…like…” Another gulp.  Joey took the glass and refilled it.

“Like Chris sucking helium?”  Justin offered helpfully.

“EXACTLY!” Lance agreed, raising his glass to Justin.  A cellphone rang and everyone grabbed.

“Mine,” JC said triumphantly.  “Hello?”

“WHO THE HELL WAS THAT?”  A voice screamed in his ear.  Everyone heard it.

“Um…hi, Ari,” JC said weakly.  “What are you talking about?”

“Who…was…that…tramp?”  Ari yelled.

“What WAS her name, anyway?”  Joey asked.  Everyone thought for a moment.

“Melina,” Alison finally said.

“Yeah, right, Melina,” Lance repeated, taking another drink.

“Her name is Melina,” JC told Ari.  “Management set him up.  Luckily I was not available for comment and they couldn’t do it to me, too.”

“Damn right you’re lucky.  I would SO have your ass if I saw you walking around with a tramp like that!”  Ari screamed.

Lance smiled.  He was happy that his problems were with Lara and not Ari.  “Give me the phone, JC.”

JC handed over the phone.  “Thank you.”

“Ari, it’s Lance.”

“Lancers, who was that woman?  Lara won’t answer her phone, therefore I know she’s seen it.”

“Damn,” Lance muttered.  “She’s no one, Ari, just a date for the event.  I swear to God, she’s no one.”

“I believe you,” Ari said a bit more quietly.  “You need to come back here, Lance. You need to set her stubborn ass straight.”

“You’re right,” Lance said, realizing that was the only way to close this, whichever way things ended up.  “I’ll fly up tomorrow.”  He hit “end.”

“WOOHOO!” Chris and Joey yelled, hugging each other and totally ignoring their girlfriends.  “About freaking time you woke up!” Chris added.

“Y’all are whacked,” Lance said, unable to keep from smiling.

 

Lara walked around like a zombie the next day.  She screened her calls, ignoring the calls from Ari and JC but taking the call from her manager at work.  They had held her job for her, and were totally willing to have her come back.  Lara sighed as she lugged laundry down to the car.  Maybe if she kept busy, she would forget.  Maybe if she kept busy, worked TWO jobs, she would forget.  She would forget Lance’s hand on that woman’s back.  She would forget how he smiled at that woman as she tossed her mane of red hair around.  She would forget the way his voice sounded when he told her he loved her right before the anesthesia had taken effect.

 

Lance tapped his foot anxiously as the plane began its descent to Harrisburg International Airport.  He was not able to get a flight until the early afternoon, and it was almost ten now.  With all the layovers and such, he had been on the plane for what seemed FOREVER.

He practically ran down the tunnel and into the airport.  He skipped baggage; hadn’t even bothered to pack anything.  He went to the car rental desk. “I don’t care what it is, how much it costs, I need a car NOW,” he told the attendant.

“Yes, sir,” the woman said, trying not to smile.  “She must be something.”

Lance froze for a second, then smiled back.  “Yes.  Yes she is.”

 

Lara went to bed at around nine-thirty that night.  She couldn’t think of anything else to do.  She didn’t want to go online, and there was nothing on television.  She was also afraid she’d come across Lance and his new friend on yet another entertainment news show.  She put a few CDs into the player, hit shuffle, then climbed into bed.  She tossed and turned, finally falling into a restless sleep.

 

Lance pulled up to the curb in front of Lara’s apartment.  All the rooms were dark, but her car was in its parking space.  He took a deep breath as he approached the house.  He knocked on the door hard, since the doorbell was broken.  No answer.  He frowned. Was everything okay?  He knocked again.  Shit.  He HAD to see her.  He couldn’t wait any longer.  He looked down at the flowers next to the door, then remembered the spare key Ari had told them about.  He dug into the dirt next to the steps and found the key.  He unlocked the door with shaking hands.

“Lara?”  He called softly, not wanting to frighten her.  As he went up the steps, he realized why she hadn’t heard him knocking.  Music floated out of the bedroom.  He smiled to himself in the dark.  NSYNC.  He tiptoed into the bedroom and looked at her for a second. She was thrashing about and talking, obviously caught up in some kind of nightmare.

 

Lara fought the darkness, fought to see some kind of light, but there was nothing.  Everything was black.  Each way she turned she could only see black.  Not again.  Not when everything was finally fixed.  She sobbed as she stumbled along, her hands held out in front of her.  “No…not again…no…please…”

She heard maniacal laughter behind her and whirled around.  It was a woman’s voice.  She hadn’t heard the woman talking, but she knew it was the redhead who had been on Lance’s arm.  “Silly silly silly!”  The woman cackled.  “He doesn’t want YOU…he wants me…you’re not even good enough to look at him, so now you can’t see anything at all!”

“NO…Lancey…” Lara sobbed.  “I love you…I don’t care if I ever see again…I want you…”

 

Lance gasped at her words.  In an instant he was sitting on the bed, pulling her into his arms.  “Lara…baby…wake up…it’s me…”

“Lancey…” she sobbed.  “Don’t go…I’m sorry…”

“Baby…I’m here…I’m here…” Lance insisted over and over, but she would not wake up.  He sighed with frustration.  He listened to the next song on the CD and smiled.  Lara’s favorite.  “I lie awake…I drive myself crazy…drive myself crazy…thinking of you…made a mistake when I let you go, baby…I drive myself crazy…wanting you the way that I do…” he sang along softly.  Lara’s body went limp in his arms.  He tenderly caressed her cheek.  “Lara…please wake up.”

Lara’s blue eyes slowly fluttered open.  She gasped as she felt arms around her.  “Who is it?” She screamed.  A light flipped on.

“It’s me, Lance,” he said uncertainly.  Lara looked up at him.  “You were having a bad dream and…”

“How did you get in here?”

“Um…Ari told us where the spare key is,” he said, blushing.

“Damn kids,” Lara muttered.  “Why are you here, Lance?”

“I couldn’t stand being away from you a second longer.  I had to talk to you.”  Lance refused to let her go now that he had her in his arms.

“Well, wasn’t your little friend upset?”  Lara said, trying not to sound jealous and failing entirely.

“Little friend?  Oh…MELINA.”  Lance spat the name.  “She’s no friend of mine.  Management set us up.  She was annoying as hell, actually.”

“Really?”  Lara whispered.  “I thought…she was so beautiful, and…”

“That’s all she was.  She looked good.  She didn’t have sparkling blue eyes, sweet red lips, a laugh that sends shivers down my spine,” he said softly.  “She wasn’t you.”

“Me?  You still want me?”

“I never stopped wanting you, baby.  You’re all I wanted.  I love you so much…I’ve loved you for so long.”  Lance smiled at her tenderly.  “Can you ever forgive me for not telling you the truth?”

“Only if you forgive me for not listening to your explanation,” Lara said, snuggling against his chest.  “I was just so shocked. I mean…Lance Bass…all along I had been spending time with Lance Bass…falling in love with Lance Bass.”

Lance stared at her.  “Falling in love with me?”

“Yes, Lance.  I’ve loved you for a long time, too.  I was just too afraid to tell Jay that.  I thought he would run…some blind girl hanging onto him telling him she loved him.”

“I won’t run…I will never run from you.”

“I love you, Lancey,” Lara whispered, tears slipping from her eyes.

“I love you, too, Lara,” Lance replied, kissing the tears from her cheeks.

The End

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