You
Don’t Have To Be Alone
By: Lara
I don’t know when we fell apart…the love we
had was like a work of art…I used to see heaven in your eyes…now angels are
falling from your skies…
“Tell
me this isn’t happening.” JC pressed his nose to the window of the cabin, his
breath steaming the glass. “It isn’t. Tell me.”
“Okay,
JC, it isn’t,” Lance said with a sigh. “I call the sofabed.”
“No
fair!” JC whined, turning around. “That’s the warmest place in the damn cabin!”
“Exactly
why I called it,” Lance said, smirking. JC turned back to the window.
“Maybe
it’ll stop,” JC said hopefully, watching the snow fall.
“Doubtful.
I heard on the way up here that they closed a lot of the airports up north…we
were just lucky enough to be around this place to get here before it hit,”
Lance said. He grabbed his toiletries and headed for the bathroom.
Lance
leaned his hands on the sink and sighed. It was going to be a long weekend.
They had all cleared their schedules to spend a nice long weekend at a mountain
cabin…except now it wasn’t going to be a nice weekend. It would be long,
though. Any time spent with JC alone was like an eternity. It didn’t used to
be. Time with JC had been precious, until everything fell apart and JC turned
into a snapping, cold stranger.
“They’re
so stupid,” JC was muttering as Lance returned to the living room. Lance
shrugged. He was used to JC talking to himself. “Could they have POSSIBLY tried
to get here before the weather changed? No, of course not.” He sighed and
slammed his chin into the palm of his hand as he leaned on the windowsill.
Lance looked at him for a long moment. The
snow outside was almost blinding, and it formed a halo around JC’s dark hair.
Lance sighed, feeling the familiar tugging at his heart that he had finally
learned to ignore. This was going to be a horribly long weekend.
Things we said were so wrong…I haven’t held
you for so long…foolish pride turns me inside…why did we tell those lies?
“I’m
gonna go for a walk,” Lance decided after they had sat in silence for an hour,
watching the snow.
“You?”
JC laughed out loud. “You don’t like snow.”
“I
never said that.” Lance began to pull his boots on.
“You
never wanted to go outside in it. You said you liked curling up in front of the
fire more than freezing outside.”
Lance
stopped what he was doing and stood up. He bit his bottom lip, then looked
everywhere but at JC. “That’s because I preferred curling up with YOU in front
of the fire instead of being outside with everyone, wearing all those bulky
clothes.” Lance grabbed his coat and went to find his gloves. JC blushed and
looked down at his hands.
He
missed Lance. Missed holding him in front of a fire, or by a pool, or just
being able to touch him whenever he wanted. Being stranded with him would have
been a dream come true at one time. Now it was a nightmare. And he wasn’t quite
sure whose fault it was. It had something to do with Lance trying for space, or
maybe with his own solo effort. At any rate, they had both said terrible
things, and after that there was no turning back.
“Lance,”
JC began when Lance returned.
“I’ll be back. Make sure you keep the fire
going.” Lance shut the door with a loud slam.
Outside the winter seems so cold…your heart
is frozen like the snow…and there’s no one home to keep you safe and warm…
JC watched the figure struggle off into the
snow and sighed. He knew he should go out and find him, just for safety’s sake,
but pride kept him inside. Lance was so good at keeping Business Lance at the
forefront. JC had been one of the few people who got inside to know the Real
Lance. Real Lance was sweet and gentle and funny and generous. Business Lance
understood nothing but the facts, and had no emotion. This was the Lance who JC
had dealt with for the six months since their breakup, and he didn’t know how he
could handle it, all alone, for an entire weekend.
Your eyes are red because you cry…you fell
asleep by the fireside…but there’s one thing you should know…on this Christmas,
baby, you don’t have to be alone…
Lance
shook the snow from his hair as he came stomping back into the cabin. He had
walked for a half-hour, and the snow was finally slowing down as he returned.
He took off his boots, shook off his gloves and scarf, and hung up his coat. He
started for the living room, to make sure that JC had kept the fire going.
Lance
stopped as soon as he entered the room. The fire was going, and JC was curled
up in a ball on the floor in front of it, using a sweatshirt as a pillow. His
cheeks were red, but Lance wasn’t totally sure that it was because of the fire.
Something that looked suspiciously like tearstains marked JC’s fair skin. JC
shivered slightly and it made Lance jump.
“JC,”
Lance whispered, placing a gentle hand on JC’s shoulder. “You’ll get all
cramped up here. Climb up on the sofa or something.”
“Nah…I’m
up.” JC sat up and rubbed his eyes. Lance blushed and began rubbing his hands
together as he stood by the fire. “Hey, you look chilled through. I’ll make us
some cocoa.”
“That’d
be nice,” Lance admitted.
“With marshmallows,” JC added before Lance
could say anything more. Lance couldn’t stop the grin that came onto his face.
JC smiled back and went for the tiny kitchen.
I have only one wish on my list…for me, you
would be the perfect gift…there’s nothing colder than an empty home…and
holidays were never meant to be alone…the smiles we gave when our hearts were
saved by each other’s love and warmth…that’s subsided now, no happiness
around…if I could only find the way to your heart…
Lance
yawned and stretched, wondering why his shoulders were so tight. Then he
remembered. It was the stress of hanging out, alone, with his ex-lover. Lance
reached behind his neck and began to work the tightness out. The night before
had actually been easier than most. JC had made cocoa, Lance had made soup, and
they had found a lot of neutral ground to talk about. JC had turned in early,
and Lance had wanted nothing more than to offer him a spot on the sofabed, so
he could stay warmer. At least that’s the excuse Lance would have given. He
never would have said that he missed the softness of JC’s skin against him when
he woke up in the morning.
JC
came out into the living room a few moments later, already fully dressed. “I
thought I’d go outside. The snow has stopped, and it’s just so beautiful.”
“Want
some company?” Lance asked before he knew it. JC blinked.
“Uh,
sure. I’ll be out front.” JC began to bundle up as Lance ran to the bathroom to
wash his face and brush his teeth.
When
Lance came outside, he was met with a blast to the chest. He looked around, and
saw JC grinning mischievously from behind a tree. “You bastard.” Lance wiped
the snow from his chest and glared. “You are so in for it.”
“C’mon…I
had to let the spirit of Justin and Chris take over for a little bit,” JC
teased, running as fast as he could in the knee-deep snow.
“You’re
gonna wish you didn’t when I’m finished with you!” Lance yelled, grabbing a
handful of snow and taking off after him.
JC
let out his giggle and pulled a snowball from the pocket of his coat. “I had
time to prepare!” Snowballs flew as Lance let out a yelp. Lance dove behind a
tree and began making snowballs as fast as he could.
“You’re
dead, Chasez!” Lance yelled.
“Ambush!”
JC screamed, diving for Lance. Lance grabbed a handful of snow just and time
and made sure it connected with JC’s face. JC spluttered for air as Lance
laughed.
“Are
you okay?” Lance panted.
“That
was so wrong,” JC muttered, sitting up.
“It
felt good to me,” Lance said, pleased.
“If
I let you do it again, will you talk to me?” JC asked quietly, and Lance
stopped laughing.
“What?”
“We…dammit,
Lance. This is the best time I’ve had in forever, just knowing that I was
sleeping in the same building with you.” JC flicked snow off the tree.
“I
miss you,” Lance admitted. “I think that’s what happened. We were so far apart
more than we were together…and it was no one’s fault.”
“I
missed you, too.”
Lance
stared at JC for a long moment. He pulled off a glove and put his warm hand
against JC’s cold, red cheek. “I never…stopped. Never stopped loving you.”
JC looked into his eyes and saw Real Lance
shimmering from behind the tears. “I never stopped either,” JC whispered, and
his chapped lips were soon warmed by Lance’s kiss.
The
End
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