AS SEEN ON TV!
Thursday, February 26, 2004
10:50 p.m.
After a seven-month hiatus, I'm back and ready for action. Not like I have a following, anyway. And also not like I don't have enough time on my hands to do this right now or anything. It's just that I'd rather not study...
I haven't documented so much craziness in the past few months. Turned 21, dropped aero eng, like I was threatening, and... well, that's about it really.
According to my friend Mike's profile, "Americans annually consume 22 gallons of beer per capita." So that's my goal for this year, as of 02-19-04. I've got 207 oz., so I need only imbibe 2609 more ounces by next February. Updates to come. Maybe.
Thursday, July 24th, 2003
11:44 p.m.
I ate some "Groovy" M&M's today. For those of you who may be uninformed, these "Groovy" M&M's are all multicolored, psychedelic-like. My theory on this grooviness? It looks like they cleaned the machines at the M&M factory for the first time in the past fifteen years, and glued all the candy-coating crumbs to these "Groovy" M&M's. They are pretty retro, with that 70's design. Only makes sense that the candy pieces are also that old. Wow do "Groovy" M&M's suck.
Tuesday, June 10th, 2003
6:20 p.m.
I took my name in bottlecaps down from the ceiling today. *tear* I guess that's one life goal completed.
Who came up with the Proud-Parent-of-an-Honors-Student-at-whocareswhich-School bumpersticker? This person should be killed. Painfully. If my kid ever brings one of those things home and wants me to put it on my car, I'll congratulate him for making the honor roll, and then slap him upside the head for being a dumbass. Dumbass.
Monday, June 9th, 2003
1:22 a.m.
Compatability in a Nutshell
I have determined, through various experiments using The Scientific Method, the true basis for a couple's compatability. People may think that good looks or money are all that matter, but do not be fooled! The good looks are the reason behind the initial draw, and the wealth gets the couple through dinner. But what determines the long-lasting potential for a couple?
Movie-viewing style. There are two types of people in this world: movie-talkers, and movie-watchers. If a couple is to last, they must both be of the same type. You see, movie-talkers are annoyed at the lack of response from movie-watchers, and every movie-watcher will tell you how annoying movie-talkers are, from the non-talker standpoint.
So there you have it: A couple's compatability is directly dependent on whether or not both parties fall under the category movie-watcher, or movie-talker.
Compatability in a nutshell.
Friday, June 6th, 2003
2:08 a.m.
Sitting here with the words of Billy Corgan in my mind, trying to finish my statics but instead thinking only of disappointment.
Suffer my desire,
Suffer my desire,
Suffer my desire for you.
.....-"In the Arms of Sleep"
Tuesday, May 27th, 2003
11:29 p.m.
I got this crazy email today. It's going on the phone number wall, along with Elaine's notecard: "My name is Oliver. I think you're beautiful. Can I call you sometime?" Whatever happened to just talking to a person?
Also, I was kiss-raped by a street performer at Easton this weekend while Bryan and I waited for a dinner table. This dumbass was doing some trick and trying to prove that he really couldn't see through his blindfold...long story...he was moving through the crowd, trying to kiss people, and everyone was moving away. So this guy comes at me, and I go to move away, so he begs me to kiss him on the cheek. I don't want to, but he's begging and he'll go away faster if i kiss him on his nasty cheek, so i decide to do it to get it over with and get him away from me. So I go to kiss him on the cheek, and he turns his head and kisses me on the lips. Bad touch! Bad touch! I have never been so disgusted. Almost nothing offends me, and yet this guy managed to make me sick to my stomach in an instant. I probably have herpes now or something. I hate this guy.
Wednesday, May 21st, 2003
2:18 a.m.
I was going to go to bed so I could get up to do a take home quiz that was due tomorrow. I have since discovered that it's not due until Thursday, so I don't really need to sleep right now!
I've concluded that I am a lazy bastard. I was at work today in the open lab for three hours, and I spent all three of those hours trying to bum pizza off students. Never forget that I'm the coolest TA ever. Also, keep in mind that I've been thinking of changing my major. Anyway...
JB 99 9007 99 9: you need to come to the [American Institute of Astronautics and Aeronautics] meeting tomorrow and run for an office
MeowMix982: HAHAHAHAH why?
MeowMix982: look at me and tell me i have any right to hold a position of authority
MeowMix982: because i don't
JB 99 9007 99 9: NO thats exactly why i want you to run
MeowMix982: haha why?
JB 99 9007 99 9: look at me i was a terrible e-council rep (according to certain other officers)
JB 99 9007 99 9: and that is the kind of trend that i want to see continue
MeowMix982: it would be even funnier if i got elected and then changed my major...
JB 99 9007 99 9: YES that was actually the point
Read the entire conversation here.
Sunday, May 18th, 2003
2:54 p.m.
I just saw a guy walking an iguana outside - On a leash! It was so neat. I want an iguana.
Friday, May 16th, 2003
10:12 p.m.
I didn't sleep last night. Not at all. Hilarity ensued. Here I am, asleep at work. But getting paid!
..
Today at work I also superglued a little metal disc, resembling a thumbtack without the tack, to my index finger. Intentionally. The idea was to be able to tap loudly on the table during the math midterm I had this afternoon. Unfortunately, the glue bonds much better to skin than it does to metal, and the tack fell off, leaving me with a crusty finger.
Then, once I got home around 5:15, I decided to put a safety pin in my mouth. All was well and good (the pin was closed), except that it somehow fell underneath my tongue and slid to the back of my mouth. Try as I might, the safety pin was lost. I had to get up and look in a mirror to get it out.
JB 99 9007 99 9: lol how does something like that happen to a person ?
MeowMix982: well, look who you're talking to
JB 99 9007 99 9: ... good point
So now, in my 37th hour of being awake (unless you count my on-the-clock nap), I'm beginning to wonder how long I can hold out...
Thursday, May 15th, 2003
11:58 p.m.
Crazy little solar system... Some day I'll blow up that moon of ours with an aerospace project gone horribly wrong...
11:40 p.m.
I went to do laundry today, for the first time in quite a while. And there's this message board on the laundry room door now for people to write their room numbers next to the number of the machine they're using. That way, whenever some dumbshit forgets about his laundry, you can go remind him. Screw that, I just pile it on the floor. Anyway, I was going to write my name on the thing, comply with the established etiquette, but the board was full. No big deal, dry erase marker. I wiped it off with my hands. Now, four washes later, the shit won't come off! Damn!
Older entries from The AntiLive Journal
Send me email
Read some bad poetry