Before it’s too late
If you have a tender message or a loving word to say
don’t wait till you forget it, but whisper it today
the tender words unspoken, the letter never sent
the long forgotten massages, the wealth of love unspent
for these some hearts are breaking,
for these some loved ones wait
so show them that you care for them, before it’s too late.
The Final Waltz
Her body lay motionless on the bed:
barely breathing, as lifeless
as a fine china doll,
but when he came a spark returned.
As she rose to meet his eyes,
their black endless pits,
he took her in his arms
and like two young lovers
their waltz began.
Around the room they danced,
as if without a care.
Then he pulled her ever so close to him.
The waltz stopped.
She smiled at him
while her china shell smashed
into tiny pieces on the floor.
They rose up together,
out of the room,
she and death
.
She was free
,
for she had danced the final waltz 
My Love
I love you with ever ounce of my soul
I desire you more then life itself
I long to kiss you
to touch you
make love to you
become one with you
I want to look into your eyes
and be lost there forever
lost yet found in your loving embrace.
Purity
Purity
the pure white light which shines down
upon my head
washing my body
my pure white skin
the milk in my breasts
white, purity, which feeds my
children’s hungry innocent lips
I don’t want to stand in the white light
soothe me with the blackness of the night
damn purity in its whitest form.
I am not pure, nor do I want to be
black desire burns through my body
through my breasts and into my innocent children
I am a women
must I be a wife?
I am a women
must I be a mother?
I am a women
must I be pure?
Angels are pure
and I am surely not this
I have no wings and I can not fly
purity is a male obsession for
their unrealistic expectation of women.
Abandonment
Many faces flash before me.
I reach out and they disappear.
Many hands reach out
to touch me, to hold me
and I fall through their non-existent embrace.
Warm smiles turn cold upon my gaze.
Left frightened and alone
to face all of my fears.
Soothing words of love spoken
which will never reach my ears.
The sun pulls from me
its golden bright rays.
Leaving me in the darkness of the night
as it rips away from me my days.
I look for shelter and find none.
No one to turn to
and no where left to run.
Abandoned I sit
and wait for a love that will never come.
Untitled
My soul was trapped in a self made prison,
my heart cold and alone in the dark,
hiding from love’s light.
The light which could shatter it to pieces once again.
How many times can a broken heart be mended?
Then Our souls met,
You carefully place my heart in you hands
and melted away the cold
by shining love’s light upon it
and in return gave me your heart.
I am no longer alone and in the dark.
I am loved and love in return.
Blackness
Am I alive or dead
sleeping or awake
dreaming or in a never-ending nightmare
is this heaven or hell
the blackness is swallowing me
am I being born or dying
saved or damned
am I being offered
salvation or condemnation
pleasure or pain
praise or punishment
am I good or evil
I am blackness
I am a broken soul
mourning my broken soul
I am neither alive nor dead
a never ending nightmare
in this hell we call life
I was born, but my soul is dying
too late to be saved
instead damned to the pain
and condemnation of life
life is my punishment
I am not good or evil
I am blackness
Me
I live my life as a lie.
Living in my own sweet dream.
Never facing the harsh unknown reality
that I have never been able to grasp.
Instead I run away,
always away.
Never really having anywhere to run to.
Yet running still.
I don’t know where I’m going.
How could I?
I don’t know who I am.
Looking in the mirror would shatter my dream.
She would be there staring back at me
and I could no longer deny her existence.
She is me.
The me I really am,
but never wanted to be.
She stares back at me,
as my heart begins to ache
and disgust distorts my face.
If I slam my fists against the mirror
the image is smashed into tiny
broken shards on the floor.
I can’t look at her anymore.
It’s too painful now.
I turn my back to the mirror.
I turn my back to her.
I turn my back to me.
The me imprisoned in the mirror,
completely lost to me.
I return to the dream
as the image fades, as she fades,
as I fade, from my mind.
Disconnected
I had a dream.
Thought I heard her
whisper my name.
I Picked up the phone.
I Dialed the number.
A monotone,
electronic voice says;
“Sorry the number you called
has been disconnected
”.
I hung up the phone
and laughed,
as fresh tears began
to wet my face.
Old Man’s Cave
Walking along Old Man’s Cave,
I approached a roaring waterfall
with my dog by my side.
I stretched out on the ground
and the dog sat on a large mossy patch
and began to sing.
His soft sweet voice singing praises
to the rushing water.
The roaring ceased
and only his song could be heard.
The water continued to tumble,
but didn’t dare make a sound.
Becoming more powerful, its clear color
turned red.
The dog stopped singing
and told me to stand under
the dark murky beast.
I walked towards it
and the mist began to burn my skin.
Then standing underneath, I howled in pain.
The water was melting my skin.
He started singing again and the pain subsided.
My body melted around me
as my soul escaped its fleshy prison.
I danced around the waterfall
as his song echoed throughout.
The Reindeer
I bought my grandmother a stuffed animal, a reindeer. She was in the hospital and I got it to cheer her up. It had been a few weeks before Christmas. When she died, I kept the reindeer. I look at it and I see her. Representing the sorrow of being forever parted. Like losing a limb, yet still feeling it there, and then, the realization that it is gone. Picking up the phone to call her, then realizing that it is a call that will never again be answered.
The reindeer that she loved so and would never part with. Its red nose, the color of the many vials of blood that was taken from her everyday. Its brown antlers, which flop forward and won’t stand up on their own, as she had to be helped while merely walking to the bathroom. Its obscene grin, when her death was so close. Still it grins now. She would never part with it, and yet, now it’s mine.
The reindeer, holding it as if it were her. Desperately trying to keep her part of my reality. It seems to stare blankly back at me. Its inanimate eyes. It can not laugh. It can not smile. It can not cry. It is not her. She is gone. 
The Kiss of Death
I looked into his eyes
so much pain there.
He knew.
I gently brushed his hand
with mine.
My heart was racing
and my hands trembled.
I have heard this referred to
as “The Kiss of Death”.
“I love you, I’m just not
in love with you.”
I never thought I would
utter these words to him,
but there I was.
My hands,
now wet with tears.
Not sure if they are
mine or his.
Probably both.
I wanted more then anything
to hug him,
but not sure if it would
make things better or worse.
The ring sparkled, brightly
almost blinding,
as I slide it off of my finger.
I placed it in his palm.
He looked so lost and
defeated.
I didn’t know what to do
or say.
My heart ached,
seeing him in so much pain.
I had to leave.
I turned and walked away.
Trapped
I am sick of your expectations.
To hell with morality.
I want to be free.
I do not care.
I do not care to be
I do not care to be
what you want me to be.
Your eyes burn me
with your expectations,
burns through to my soul.
My bare naked soul.
Like an abused, neglected child,
huddled in a corner.
Shivering, trembling,
in a fetal position.
Longing to be cradled, loved,
and taken away from the darkness.
Yet neglected and restrained
there by the constraints
of the strong morals
and high expectations
forced upon me.
Trapped,
so trapped,
dying.
I do not care.
I do not care to be.
I do not care to be
what you want me to be.
What they all want me to be.
What I’m not.
Lost
I am feel so lost without you
Looking
looking for something that is not there
Feeling
feeling so much love and pain both the same to me now
Wanting
wanting so bad to be in your arms
Loving
Loving you more and more each day
Fooling
Fooling myself that you love me too
Needing
Needing in return for you to love me
Knowing
Knowing I am Lost and Looking and looking for a love that is not there.
Knowing that this love will only cause me more pain, wanting and needing,
and Fooling myself that this is not one-sided.
Knowing the truth, yet I am still Lost without you. 
The American Dream
Forget the tears.
Forget the pain.
Forget the rants of the insane.
Forget the homeless as you drive by.
Forget the children that starve and die.
Forget the foolish want of peace and love.
Forget the hope of there being a higher power above.
Forget success, it does not taste as sweet as you thought.
Forget the empty morals we were taught.
Forget those without shelter from the rain.
Forget that there are others.
Forget their pain.
Forgetting is much easier then it seemed.
Forgetting to love thy neighbor as we all strive for that American Dream.
The Empty Night
I can feel it coming on
the darkness
the cold
the numbing, icy hand
reaching around my heart
digging it’s retched fingers in deeper
the numbness spreads
rapidly through my body
First, my arms so they don’t
ache to hold you
then my hands, longing to touch you has ceased
my lips, not needing to be pressed against yours,
ever so lightly
The empty night, that is my soul
replaces the sweetness that is you.
