Chapter 30

“Home, sweet home,” Justin whispered with a small sigh as he and the others walked over the threshold into the Harliss household. There were mumbled agreements, but not much else in the way of comments. The events from the previous evening still held everyone in a state of shock. They still found it to be remarkable that one simple question from a little six year old girl could cause such chaos…such pain…both physical and emotional.

“Why don’t you guys go on upstairs to get cleaned up and take it easy,” Jan said as she grabbed a scrunchi from her purse before dropping it on the floor by the back door. “I’m going to go tackle the kitchen, then I’ll get supper started.” Without waiting for a reply, Jan walked away from the group, pushing the long sleeves of her t-shirt up her arms before pulling her long red hair back into a sloppy ponytail as she made her way toward the kitchen.

Jan walked through the large doorway connecting the living room to the kitchen and stopped in her tracks as she looked at the job that lay before her. On any other day, the task of cleaning up the kitchen would not have seemed quite as overwhelming as it did at that very moment, but Jan was feeling very weary after last night’s events. What she was looking at made her weariness even more apparent. Pots and pans on the stovetop and counters…bread and other food items set out on the table and island…salad makings on the counter…dirty dishes in the sink.

As she looked at the disarray in the kitchen, Jan couldn’t help but think of the similarities between the scene before her and the tumultuous events of the last 24 hours…no…the last month…month and a half. In Jan’s mind, she found both situations seemingly very easy to resolve if only a starting place could be found…somewhere…somehow.

Jan placed her hands on her hips, uncertain as to exactly where she needed to begin as her eyes traveled about the room and, for a brief moment, Jan considered turning her back to the mess in order to go upstairs to soak in a hot bath. Jan turned to look longingly at the doorway knowing that if she did give in and take that long bath she would only have to face this mess later. With a small sigh, Jan once again turned around slowly pushing her sleeves further up her arms as she tried to find where she needed to start.

During this moment of indecision, Jan was too engrossed in her thoughts that she didn’t hear footsteps inaudibly approaching from behind. Justin stood in the doorway, watching his aunt, her hands on her hips with her hair swinging back and forth as her head moved from side to side as if she were looking for something.

With a small smile, Justin stepped further into the room and walked over to the table where he picked up a basket, which now contained stale bread in one hand and a pitcher of tea in the other. He glanced at Jan, who still had her back turned to him having not moved from her position as he came around the counter. With a shake of his head, Justin placed the pitcher in the sink and dumped the bread from the basket into a nearby trashcan.

“Well…it’s not going to get cleaned up with you just standing there,” he quietly commented. At the sound of Justin’s voice, Jan quickly turned around, her hands to her chest. “Geez…don’t do that to me J,” Jan said breathlessly.

Justin sported a sheepish grin on his face as he picked up the pitcher and poured its contents into the sink.

“Sorry, Aunt Jan. Where do you want me to start?”

“Shouldn’t you be resting and taking it easy, Justin?” Jan asked as she went to the stove and picked up a pot then began dumping its contents into the trashcan before putting it in the already overflowing sink.

“I’m feeling pretty rested up and I want to help so you can get some rest soon,” Justin answered while turning the hot water on, letting the water flow into the sink. He held his hand under the stream of water, waiting for the water to warm up before adding the dishwater detergent to it.

‘Okay,” Jan answered. “I’d appreciate it. The dishwasher is already full and it’s ready to run so, why don’t you get started with washing what’s already in the sink while I finish here,” Jan said, indicating the pots that still needed to be emptied of their contents.

“Yes, ma’am,” Justin answered.

Chris stood quietly in the shower. The spray of hot water gently pelting his body did little in the way of making him feel better. With a deep sigh, he ran his hands over his face then over his head as he stepped further into the hot spray. His thoughts bounced about quickly in his head as he briefly stepped back and leaned against the cool tile wall.

‘What do we do now?’ he thought. ‘JC is afraid of the water…how do we take care of that?’

Chris pushed himself from the wall to turn his back to the shower, letting the hot water roll down his back. He stood in that position, his hand at his side with his head hanging low, for several minutes as he continued to wrestle with his thoughts. With a small sigh, he turned back around to face the spray of water and grabbed the bar of soap, then began to rub it on a washcloth as he thought about JC’s fear and how to conquer it.

‘I wonder if Emilianne got over her fear…I wonder how she got over her fear.’

Chris rubbed the soapy cloth over one arm and then the other as he continued to mull over Emilianne and her situation.

‘Lance said that she seemed okay…a little quiet maybe, but okay.’ Chris brought the soapy cloth to his face and slowly rubbed it absent-mindedly over his face before pushing his face into the spray to wash away the soap.

‘Maybe…maybe…Dr. Shannon would let us have their phone number…or…wait…Lance and JC know the name of her parents and we could just look it up in the phone book.’

Chris slightly smiled as his thoughts continued to take shape. ‘I better let Dr. Shannon in on what I’m thinking…yeah…that would probably be the best thing to do.’

With those thoughts in mind, Chris rapidly finished his shower.

Lance stood in the hall bathroom facing the glassed enclosure before him, better known as a shower. As he stood there, he felt a knot of fear beginning to take hold of his stomach as a headache began to form behind his eyes.

At that same time, Joey happened to be walking by the open doorway and saw Lance just standing there…not moving…with a towel in one hand and what looked like clothes in the other. Joey stopped in his tracks and watched Lance shift the towel from one hand to the other then, with his empty hand, pinch the bridge of his nose before rubbing his forehead.

Joey quietly knocked on the open bathroom door. The slight noise startled Lance from his thoughts. He dropped what was in his hand as he turned quickly to face Joey, not bothering to wipe the look of fear from his face before returning his gaze to the shower before him.

“Hey…Poofoo…I’m sorry,” Joey quickly said as he entered the bathroom and put his hand on Lance’s shoulder. He was surprised to find that his friend was trembling under his touch.

“What’s the matter, Lance?” Joey asked, his voice full of concern. He followed Lance’s gaze and found that he had been looking at the shower. For a second, Joey didn’t understand why his friend was so full of fear, then he remembered the dream that Lance had told them about earlier in the day at the hospital. At the sudden recognition of what might be going through Lance’s mind, Joey quickly took action.

He bent over and retrieved the fallen items then grabbed the small shaving bag that Lance had set on the sink behind him when he had first entered the room.

“Come on, Lance,” Joey said gently as he wrapped one bandaged hand around Lance’s wrist.

“Where are we going?” Lance asked as he meekly allowed Joey to pull him into the hallway then down to Lynn’s bedroom.

“Well, since I’ve only known you for five or so years, that’s really not long enough for me to climb into the shower with you unless we have more privacy,” Joey quipped.

“What?” Lance asked as he slightly resisted the tugging on his arm as they entered Lynn’s bedroom and Joey closed the door.

“Lance…don’t do that,” Joey said quickly as he felt a sharp pain in his hand due to the resistance that Lance was putting up.

He quickly let go of Lance’s wrist and brought his aching hand up to his chest while smiling wanly at his confused friend.

“Sorry, Joey…I’m sorry,” Lance said as he reached out for Joey’s hand. Joey twisted slightly in an effort to avoid Lance’s outstretched hands, but relented when he saw the hurt look on his friend’s face.

“It’s okay…really,” Joey reassured Lance, who was gingerly holding Joey’s left hand in his. He could tell that the hand was slightly swollen and tender to the touch since Joey was still wincing in pain.

“It’s about time for my next pain pill…that’s all,” Joey said when Lance released his hand. He reached awkwardly into his shirt pocket and with some difficulty, produced a small brown bottle, then gave it a slight shake as he smiled.

“Uh…do you mind?” Joey asked as he handed the bottle to Lance. “I can’t get it open,” he added sheepishly as he wiggled his swollen fingers at Lance.

“Hold on,” Lance answered as he took the offered bottle before walking into Lynn’s bathroom. Joey heard water running briefly in the sink before Lance returned with a small glass of water in one hand and the pill bottle in the other. He handed the glass to Joey then quickly opened the bottle and poured a small green pill into his hand. Joey gave Lance another pained look and rolled his eyes.

“Oops,” Lance said quietly, realizing that Joey would have a pretty hard time trying to grasp the tiny pill with his swollen fingers. Lance picked up the pill and carefully placed in Joey’s opened mouth then watched as Joey drank from the glass.

“Thanks, Lance,” Joey said handing the now empty glass back to the young man and watched as he once again walked back into Lynn’s bathroom to put the glass away.

“I’ll be glad when tomorrow gets here and Dr. Shannon can take these bandages off.” Joey lifted his hands to his chest with a small sigh as he watched Lance once again return to the bedroom to stand in front of him. The pair stood silently looking at each other before Lance spoke.

“Now…why are we in Lynn’s bedroom?” Lance asked, still confused as to why Joey had brought him down here.

“Back there in the hall bathroom, I figured that your dream must have been bothering you,” Joey explained as he sat down on Lynn’s bed, still clutching his now throbbing hands to his chest.

Lance only nodded his head, not trusting his voice as he sat down beside Joey.

“Lynn’s shower has a curtain.”

Lance slowly smiled at the older man as understanding began to take place.

“Um…if you want, I’ll stay out here…that way you won’t feel like…you know…the dream could really happen. You wouldn’t be all alone. You can even leave the door open if that would make you feel better.” Joey finished his explanation with a shrug of his shoulders.

Lance shook his head yes. “Thanks, Joey. I’d like that.” Lance patted Joey’s shoulder before gathering his things together. He walked into the bathroom and looked over his shoulder one more time at Joey, who was looking through a small stack of magazines on the floor at Lynn’s bedside before heading over to the shower.

“Thank you, God for friends like Joey,” Lance whispered as he began getting ready for his shower. 

Back in the kitchen, little was said as Jan and Justin worked together to bring order to the mess that had been left in their rush to leave the previous evening. Neither individual wanted to relive last night, but soon Justin was the one who wanted to return to those events...to better understand what had happened. He waited until Jan had finished with what she was doing at the stove and had joined him at the sink to dry the dishes that he had just finished washing and rinsing.

“Um…you know…I don’t really understand why I fell apart like I did, Aunt Jan,” Justin quietly commented as he washed the new pots and pans that Jan had set beside him on the counter. “Well…I mean I have an idea, but I’m not really sure…I mean…oh…I don’t know what I really mean,” Justin said, his voice full of exasperation as he continued washing the dirty dishes.

Jan had her own theory about Justin’s actions, but she decided to take a slower route in order to give Justin the opportunity to reveal more on his own.

“We were all scared, J…you were just the most honest about your feelings.” Jan said quietly without lifting her eyes from the plate that she was slowly drying. Out of the corner of her eye she could see that Justin had stopped what he was doing, his arms submerged in the warm soapy water as he stared at the darkened windowpanes in front of him.

“I hadn’t really been able to get over it all…I guess I just…,” Justin said quietly as he returned his attention to the soapy water, his voice trailing off as he found it difficult to put into words what he had been feeling since having awakened from his drug induced sleep at Mercy General Hospital earlier in the day.

“You mean you hadn’t been able to get over having seen JC like that the first time you both were in the hospital?” Jan asked, finishing Justin’s sentence for him in a weary voice.

Justin dropped his chin to his chest then cocked his head slightly to the left so that he was looking at Jan as he spoke.

”Yeah…no matter how I’ve tried…I just can’t seem to…you know…I just want it all to go away,” Justin replied, wistfully.

“But, J…it won’t just go away,” Jan quietly replied as she watched Justin finish what he was doing. For some reason, Jan’s gentle words flew all over Justin. There was no explanation for his next actions. Justin abruptly pulled his hands from the sudsy water then quickly grabbed a nearby dishtowel and began to angrily wipe the suds from his hands.

“I know that, Jan,” Justin whispered harshly. “I know that it won’t go away. I don’t want your words of wisdom right now…just leave me alone. Why don’t you just go home.”

Jan stood in mid motion, as she dried a plate. She quickly set it down, fearful that she would drop it in her state of shock. She had no words to say. Justin had never spoken to her in such a hateful tone.

Seeing Jan wasn’t going to answer, Justin threw the dishtowel down on the counter. “I’m going to go get a shower,” Justin added, as he quickly walked out of the room, bumping into JC on his way.

“Whoa there, J,” JC commented as he awkwardly gripped the doorframe to keep from losing his balance.

“Sorry, man,” Justin whispered as he grabbed JC by the shoulders to help steady him. Justin quickly looked in Jan’s directions then ducked his head before leaving the pair. JC caught the look that Justin had given Jan and was ready to follow him to find out what the problem was, but a touch on his arm by Jan stopped him.

“Leave it, JC…it’s okay,” Jan said in a small voice before walking back to the sink to finish drying dishes.

“What’s the matter with him?” JC asked as he grabbed a glass from a cabinet. “Want some juice,” he asked.

Jan nodded her head, not turning to look at JC. JC grabbed an extra glass from the cabinet then made his way to the refrigerator to pull out the jug of orange juice.

“Um…I think I upset him,” Jan answered quietly as she offered to pour JC a glass of juice then poured herself one.

“Want to tell me about it?” JC asked as he walked over to the kitchen table with his glass then sat down on one of the chairs.

“How are you doing, JC?”

JC laughed at Jan’s remark. “Okay…I’ll take the hint, but if you want to talk about it later, let me know.” 

”I will…so, how are you doing?”

“Fine, I guess. I’m still pretty confused about what happened last night,” JC commented before taking a sip of his juice then placing the cup back on the table. He laid his hands on the table and turned them carefully as he gathered his thoughts.

Jan remained quiet, watching the emotions play across JC’s face.

“I remember visiting with Emilianne and Lance…then…nothing until this morning when I woke up.” JC cocked his head to the side and looked at Jan as if she had the answers to fill in the blanks of his memory. Jan caught the look and quickly shook her head.

“Jace…a lot of things happened up there,” Jan quietly replied. Inwardly, she shuddered. How much could she or the others really tell JC without hurting him? Could she handle two of her nephews being angry with her? For the moment, Jan felt as if she was in a catch 22 situation…no matter which way she decided to turn. If she withheld information, JC would be hurt, but, on the other hand, if she said too much, he could be just as hurt, if not more. Jan took a small sip of juice before placing the glass back down on the table. JC watched as a look of fear crossed Jan’s face. If he had blinked, he would have missed it…it was so brief.

At that same moment, Chris walked into the room. “Wanted to know if you needed help getting supper together, Jan,” he said, grabbing a the phonebook from the counter top. “How does pizza sound?”

“Y…yes…I could use some help and that sounds fine,” Jan stuttered as she quickly stood up to take her glass to the sink to wash it.

At the sound of Jan’s shaky voice, Chris looked up. Jan’s back was turned to him but he could see that her motions were jerked and short as she washed the remaining dishes in the sink. Chris then turned to JC and saw that he had his head ducked, but his hands were nervously fingering the now empty glass. With raised eyebrows, Chris wondered what he could have possibly walked into, but his thoughts were interrupted by Justin’s voice calling out to him from the next room.

“Hey…Crazy…have you called in the pizza yet? If you haven’t, don’t forget Poofoo likes extra cheese and Joey doesn’t want onions this time.”

“Okay,” Chris replied, tearing his gaze away from JC and Jan to walk into the living room. He sat down beside Justin, who was flipping through the channels on the television with the remote.

“Something’s going on in the kitchen between JC and Jan,” Chris whispered quietly over Justin’s shoulder.

Justin dropped his head and wiped a hand over his face. Chris was surprised by the reaction.

“I think I’m part of the problem, Chris,” Justin stated. “I kinda got mad at Aunt Jan and blew up at her.”

Chris dropped the phone book on the floor and grabbed Justin’s shoulder, turning him so that he could look at him in the face.

“You did what?” he quietly asked, his voice giving a hint to the slight anger he was feeling at the confession. Justin flinched at the harshness of Chris’s voice, while Chris quickly looked over his shoulder to see if Jan or JC had heard his short outburst. After seeing they had not, Chris grabbed Justin by the arm and roughly pulled him up.

“What…hey…where…” Justin tried to say as he was rapidly being pulled across the room.

“We’re going to go get that pizza, little man and you’re going to explain yourself.”

“But…but you haven’t even ordered it yet,” Justin said as he allowed Chris to pull him toward the front door.

“That’s what cell phones are for, you moron,” Chris slightly growled as he pushed Justin through the open door.

“Keys,” he said, putting free hand out. Justin struggled to pull his car keys from his right hip pocket with his left hand since Chris was not going to relinquish his hold on his right arm. He finally succeeded and without argument, handed them to Chris who shoved him toward the front of the car. Justin slightly stumbled then meekly walked around his car and got into the passenger side.

“Is it a good idea for you to drive when you’re so mad?” Justin quietly asked as he grabbed hold of the armrests when Chris sped down the driveway to the opening front gates.

“I am not mad, Justin. I am upset,” Chris said in clipped tones as he quickly thrust his cell phone at Justin. “Order the pizzas…now.”

Justin accepted the phone. He called a local pizza restaurant and made his order. Once finished, he timidly handed the phone back to Chris who jerked it from his hand then tossed it onto the front dash. The pair rode in silence for several miles. Justin used this quiet time to reflect on what he had said to Jan and began to feel remorse for his words and actions. He glanced uneasily at Chris who continued to stare in front of his as he drove. Justin dropped his gaze back down to his hands and the pair remained silent until Chris drove by an empty little league baseball field. Without warning, he slammed on the brakes to turn into the parking lot then brought the car to a skidding stop, causing dust to rapidly envelope the vehicle.

As they watched the cloud of dust dissipate, Chris finally felt that he could speak to Justin without the anger that he had been feeling when he had first heard Justin’s confession.

“I want you to tell me why you were upset with Jan,” Chris said quietly as he gripped the steering wheel. Justin looked at Chris’s hands and could suddenly picture those same hands wrapped around his throat. He was going to have to be careful…very careful with his words.

“Jan and I were talking about last night,” Justin began. He looked away from Chris and began to nervously pick at his jeans.

“And…” Chris said, urging Justin to continue.

“We were talking about…well…how…I didn’t…how I didn’t understand why…I had…um…run like I did.” Justin felt tears beginning to burn the back of his eyes. He rapidly began blinking his eyes in an effort to keep the tears at bay.

“And…” Chris said again as he fingered the steering wheel, his eyes on the chain link fence surround the ball field before him.

“I told her that I just wanted the whole thing to go away and she said that it couldn’t…and that made me…mad.”

“You’re not telling me the whole story, J,” Chris said, turning to face Justin who quickly averted his gaze from Chris to the bleachers standing near the car.

“Hey…remember how much trouble I had on the bleachers in that video,” Justin asked, referring to the video that they had filmed for the song “Drive Myself Crazy.”

“Don’t change the subject, J,” Chris practically growled, his eyes narrowing in anger.

“Yeah…I nearly fell when I had to walk down them,” Justin added, trying desperately to divert Chris’s attention from the accusation that he had made not minutes before. Justin flinched when he felt Chris lay his hand on his shoulder to give a painful squeeze as he spoke.

“I’m going to ask you one more time, little man,” Chris said quietly, in a menacing voice. “And then I’m going to call Johnny and tell him that you won’t be known by your trademark curls anymore and that we’ll have a new reason to call you ‘smooth’ since your head with be smoother than a baby’s butt when I get finished with you.”

To further convince Justin of his intent if he didn’t quickly finish his confession, Chris reached over and gave one of Justin’s curls a violent tug. Justin let out a yelp and winced not only at the threat but also the painful pull, believing every word Chris was saying…especially when he saw a few hairs in Chris’s grasp. With one hand he rubbed at the sore spot caused by the painful tug while with the other, he very carefully reached for his car door handle in the event Chris decided to carry out his threat. His hopes were dashed when he heard a telltale click. Justin checked the handle…locked…he pulled on the lock and it wouldn’t budge. He dropped his head and swallowed hard. He was now trapped in his own car with a furious Chris.

“Neat feature they have on cars nowadays…child safety locks,” Chris said as he turned in his seat. “Now…spill it or do I have to call Johnny.” Chris reached toward Justin’s head with one hand and his cell phone on the dash with the other.

“Alright…alright…” Justin said as he put his hands protectively over his head. He knew that he had said the wrong thing to Jan…that he had been hateful. He just didn’t want to have to Chris tell him what he already knew. He once again felt at the back of his eyes sting with tears of regret but this time he let them flow freely from his eyes. “I’ll tell you but you gotta promise me you won’t go ballistic on me…please.” Chris took in the sight before him. Justin had pushed himself as far away him as possible within the confines of the front passenger seat. Tears were streaming down his face and he was making no effort to stop their flow.

Chris leaned back in his seat and nodded his head. “Okay…shoot. What did you say to Jan to make her so upset.”

“She wasn’t crying or anything,” Justin said quietly, knowing that what he was saying was not much of an excuse.

“I could see it in her eyes and hear it in her voice,” Chris replied in a voice that was losing its harshness. “Now…what did you say?” 

”I told her that I…I didn’t want her words of wisdom…and…that I wanted…her to go…home.”

There, he had said it. The tears now flowed in earnest as Justin’s body began to shudder with the sobs that were escaping him.

“I didn’t mean it…I didn’t…the words just came out…they just came out…you gotta believe me,” Justin said between sobs.

Chris opened his arms to his young friend. Justin hesitated before leaning into Chris’s arms. For several moments, the only sounds that could be heard in the vehicle were those of Justin’s weeping.

Chris quietly rocked Justin back and forth in an effort to comfort him. Now was not the time for scolding Justin’s words or actions. Chris knew by Justin’s actions that he was sorry for what he had said.

Chris held Justin close to him until he heard Justin’s sobs turn into shuddered breaths.

“We won’t talk about this for right now, J,” Chris said as he gently pushed Justin to sit up. “We’ll talk about this later when you’ve had a chance to think. When we get back, though, you’re going to have to apologize to Jan.”

Justin nodded his head before wiping his face on the bottom of his t-shirt. He then leaned his head back and closed his eyes.

“Tired?” Chris asked as he gave Justin’s knee a light squeeze.

“Yeah,” Justin whispered.

“Why don’t you just relax,” Chris said, his voice full of understanding. “I’ll go in and get the pizza then you can get some rest when we get back to the house and you’ve had your chance to speak with Jan.”

“Okay,” Justin replied tiredly. His emotional outburst had wiped him out.

No other words were said as Chris started up the vehicle and drove away.

Thirty-One