Chapter 32

Chris watched Justin’s lone figure in his rearview mirror leave the driveway to walk across the darkened yard as he continued drive up to the house and parked outside the garage.

“God…please help him to say the right things,” he silently prayed as he got out of Justin’s vehicle, then struggled to balance two large boxes of pizza with one hand while trying to unlock the back door with the other hand.

“Where’s…golly…all the…man…help…whoops…when you need it…” Chris sputtered as he fought to unlock, open then close the door in the narrow hallway leading to the kitchen without losing his grip on the boxes of pizza.

“Hey…supper’s here,” Chris called out, walking into the kitchen to see that JC and Lance were standing by the sink.

“Need some help there, Chris?” JC asked as he walked toward the older man to take the top box from him, not seeing Chris roll his eyes. “Now you help,” he muttered as he placed the other box on the table.

“What?” Lance asked as he came around the counter with several cans of soda and some plates and sat down at the table.

“Oh…nothing,” Chris replied while looking around.

“Where’s Joey?” Chris asked as he crossed the room and quickly washed his hands as he listened to Lance.

“He’s upstairs,” Lance answered.

“Taking a shower?” Chris asked, drying his hands before returning to the table.

“No. He took some of his pain pills and crashed.”

“Oh…hands bothering him, huh,” Chris replied as he opened up both pizza boxes.

“Yeah,” Lance answered. “His fingers are pretty swollen.”

Chris then heard JC take in a breath like he was getting ready to speak.

“Um…before you ask…J’s outside…talking with Jan.” Chris quickly said as he grabbed a piece of pizza then took a bite of it. He didn’t want to have to answer too many questions about the circumstances surrounding what Justin and Jan were talking about so filling his mouth with food would keep him from having to do so for a short time.

“Is there some sort of problem between Just and Jan?” Lance asked. JC had his suspicions that Justin was somehow the reason why Jan was so upset, but the only person who seemed to know anything at all was Chris and he was too busy eating as quickly as possible.

Lance reached for a piece of pizza and watched as Chris quickly took another bite of his pizza and mumbled with his mouth full, while raising his half-eaten piece, “Good pizza…Gino’s makes a mean pepperoni, sausage, and mushroom.”

Lance gave Chris a quizzical look, raising his eyebrows then looked at JC. “What did he say?” 

”I don’t think Chris wants to talk about it, Lance,” JC said after swallowing his first bite of pizza.

“Oh…okay.” Lance nodded his head in understanding then began eating.

Chris looked at JC and Lance, watching them eating and his curiosity began to get the better of him. He had told Justin that it wasn’t Jan’s style to really talk behind his back, but he wasn’t exactly sure how upset she had been and whether or not she may have acted in a different manner and started talking.

“Um…did Jan say anything to you about what happened?” he casually asked, wiping sauce from his hands and face.

JC and Lance both looked up at the same time.

“Now…wait a minute…you weren’t willing to tell us anything, but you want us to spill our guts?” JC asked while wiping his hands.

“Come on, JC…Justin was pretty upset about what happened,” Chris replied.

“Oh, really, Chris,” JC said half sarcastically.

Chris cleared his throat as he tossed his napkin at JC. “Yes…really. He broke down in the car,” Chris replied in a clipped tone.

Lance coughed as the soda that he had just swallowed decided to go down the wrong pipe. The memory of the previous evening flooded into his mind. He hadn’t wanted anyone to experience what he had gone through in the drafty, hospital stairwell. As Lance continued to cough and sputter, Chris leaned over and began to pat Lance on the back, as he spoke, “It wasn’t as bad as last night, but still…” JC saw the look that Chris was giving him and instantly felt badly for his reaction.

“I’m sorry, Chris…I didn’t realize…” his voice faded away. Chris nodded his head in understanding.

“Better?” Chris asked Lance, who cleared his throat.

“Uh…yeah…thanks,” Lance answered, swiping his hand over his tearing eyes before taking a tentative sip of his soda.

“Now…” Chris began as he watched Lance then looked at JC, “did Jan say anything about what Justin may have said?”

“Um…I asked Jan what had happened between her and J and she told me that he hadn’t wanted her advice, but she didn’t say any more than that,” JC said. He opened a can of soda and pushed it toward Chris who nodded in answer to JC’s statement.

“Justin hurt her feelings?” Lance asked, hoping that his guess wasn’t right, but realized that it was when Chris again nodded his head as he took another bite of pizza.

“You’re not going to tell us anything…or you,” JC casually stated before taking a bite of pizza.

Chris swallowed then drank from his can of soda before answering.

“Nope…I just deliver pizzas. I’ll let Curly talk to you about that…or Jan.”

Jan watched the approaching figure and ached for him. The light from the patio and pool area did not reach out far enough to provide much light, but Jan was able to tell that there was a definite slump to Justin’s shoulders and that his head hung low.

As her nephew continued to come closer, Jan looked down and watched his shadow growing larger and more distorted the deeper he walked into the back of the yard where she was seated.

Jan looked up when Justin had stopped to stand within a few feet of her and watched him thrust his hands in his pockets.

Both remained silent for different reasons. Jan was waiting for Justin to begin and Justin’s silence was due to the fact that he was unsure of exactly what to say to make things better.

Jan saw him slightly shiver from what she thought was the cool night air and offered the extra blanket to him. In actuality, he was shivering from nervousness and felt an intense urge to run away, but Jan’s motion stopped him.

Justin reached for the blanket, shook it open and wrapped it around his shoulders.

“Thank you,” he managed to say while Jan remained quiet. Looking down at his aunt, Justin realized how badly he had screwed up this time and his thoughts began to run rampant.

‘I’ve never, ever hurt Jan’s feelings before and now she wasn’t talking to me, but at least she hadn’t left…that was a good sign…wasn’t it? Or…maybe she was just waiting to talk to me then leave. The guys were going to hate me…Mom is going to be so disappointed in me.’ These fears quickly took over in his imagination and caused him to feel slightly lightheaded.

As Justin’s fear escalated, Jan, unable to see the look of fear on his face in the dim light began to picture the look in her mind and it made her stomach tie up into knots. She needed to do something or say something to set things right between the two of them.

She patted the ground beside her then leaned back against the oak tree.

“Are you sure that you even want me around Aunt Jan?” Justin asked in a quiet voice. “I don’t even want me anywhere near me.”

“Sit down J…please,” Jan said quietly as she watched Justin hesitate, before shuffling over to her right then slowly crouch down before turning to sit beside her with his back to the tree.

When Justin sat down, he found Jan’s silence to be overwhelming…almost suffocating. He wanted to hear her voice, even if she was screaming at him…he just couldn’t stand the thought that his aunt wasn’t saying anything to him, but he wouldn’t blame her if she didn’t want to speak to him again for a long time.

Suddenly, the very thought of Jan not speaking to him again made Justin’s head ache and caused him to feel stinging tears at the back of his eyes. He wanted to fight them, but suddenly just didn’t have the energy to do so and his tears silently began to slide down his face.

Justin cleared his throat, suddenly wishing that the ground would swallow him up. Knowing that would never happen, he took a deep breath in an effort to steady his nerves before speaking.

“I’m sorry,” he said quietly, not daring to look at Jan. He had to clear his throat again when his tears caused a lump to form at the back of his throat, almost preventing him from speaking any further.

“I know that it’s not much…saying I’m sorry, but I guess whatever I say now won’t be enough to take away what I said earlier.” Justin brought his knees up to his chest and wrapped his arms around them pulling the blanket tightly about him as he waited for some sort of reply from his aunt.

Several seconds ticked by and Jan remained silent. With each passing moment, Justin felt mounting dread, not understanding that Jan was simply gathering her thoughts. To Justin, her silence spoke volumes. In his mind, she hated him for what he had said and he could feel his stomach twisting into tight knots as his headache gained in intensity. Absent-mindedly, he looked away from Jan and rested his head upon his knees then slowly began to rub his right temple.

Out of the corner of her eye, Jan watched Justin’s slow movements.

‘He’s just 19 years old,’ she thought herself as she watched him bury his face into his knees as he continued to rub his head. ‘He’s watched his best friend…his brother, nearly drown then suffer another collapse. He wakes up this morning to find out that another brother had a concussion and needed stitches while another one had an episode of deep shock. How could I not expect any other kind of behavior from him tonight?’

Without Justin’s even realizing it, Jan scooted closer to him then reached out and placed her hand on his head. Justin started and raised his head up from his knees.

“I’m so sorry, Jan,” he said in a voice full of tears. “I’d take back what I said if I could.” 

”Shh…it’s okay, J…it’s okay,” Jan said gently as she slowly ran her hand through his curls. “I know you would if you could, but what you said has been said…there’s no going back, honey, so we need to just forget about it and move on…okay?”

“No…I was terrible,” Justin argued. “I deserve to be yelled at, not comforted.”

“Yeah…you’re right,” Jan agreed. “But, what good what that do? We’d be back to square one again…one of us would be hurting all over again and besides that…it’s not my style.”

Justin remained silent and let Jan’s words sink in while Jan thought carefully of what she wanted to say next.

“You know, J…I thought about the things that you said,” she began. “I can hold off on giving you advice when it’s not asked for. You are 19 and that means that you don’t need guidance in all matters. You are old enough to take care of yourself.”

Jan felt Justin’s head slightly nod under her hand.

“But, I also thought about what you said in wanting me to go home.”

The words had no sooner left Jan’s mouth than Justin’s head shot up and she heard him gasp then bite back a sob.

“Please…p-please…don’t leave, Jan…I didn’t mean it…I’ll go stay somewhere else,” Justin pleaded.

“No one is going to go anywhere, J…not you…not the others and certainly not me,” Jan quickly pointed out as she pulled Justin into her embrace. “What you said hurt me, but it certainly wouldn’t cause me to break my promise to five sets of parents or my promise to five young men.” Jan held Justin close to her as she continued to speak to him.

“You are 19 years old and being 19 means that you are old enough to control your tongue, but that doesn’t mean that you’re old enough to know how to act in the kinds of circumstances that you and the others have found themselves in these last two months,” Jan quietly said. “Justin…what I’m trying to say is this…please…if you feel like you need to talk with someone, do it before you lose your cool again…okay?”

Jan heard a muffled “yes ma’am.”

She held him against her for a few moments longer then carefully pushed him away from her. Although she couldn’t see his features due to the lack of light in the back of the yard, Jan knew that her nephew was probably looking rough and didn’t need the others prying and trying to find out why. She quickly came up with a solution and couldn’t help but grin.

“Um…J…before we go in, let’s wash up a little…get rid of the tearstains,” Jan suggested, mindful to keep the mischievous tone out of her voice.

“Okay,” was his quiet reply as he slowly stood up then reached down to give Jan a hand up, which she took willingly.

Once up, the pair headed to the side of the house where there was a water hose. Jan picked up the hose and turned the on faucet so that there was a small stream of water coming from the end of the hose.

“Here…I’ll hold the hose for you so that you can rinse off your face,” Jan said innocently.

If Justin had only been able to see Jan’s eyes, he would have known that more than just his face was getting ready to get wet.

Before Justin even had a chance to realize what was in store for him, Jan reached over and turned the faucet on full blast as she redirected the much stronger stream of water onto Justin’s head.

With a screech, Justin backpedaled and quickly lost his footing. He landed on his bottom all the while trying to block the steady stream of cold water.

“Jan!” he bellowed over her screams of laughter. Justin stood up and attempted to get close enough to Jan to take the hose away from her, but she quickly put her thumb over the nozzle and created an even stronger spray, which sent Justin running away with Jan chasing after him.

Justin’s yelps and Jan’s screams of laughter brought JC, Lance, and Chris out onto the back patio.

“Well…I see they worked everything out okay” Chris said to the others with a smile as they watched Jan chase her nephew around the darkened yard.

“Yep…looks like things are back to normal,” JC added, grinning as he followed Lance back into the house. Chris remained on the patio for a moment longer and chuckled, knowing that everything would now be okay.

Thirty-Three