Life Can Change In An Instant

By: Jennifer

It’s amazing how your life can change from one moment to the next and how people can come and go in your life. I was always told that life is unpredictable. Not mine. I always had the predictable happen to me, or at least, what happened in my life was what I expected or I felt I deserved for a long time. The only “unpredictable” thing I ever did as far as I was concerned was getting in my car on June 8, 1997 and driving to Florida to start my life over. It was the best thing and the worst thing that could have ever happen to me. I lived for five years in the world of Mickey Mouse, sunshine, fun, fantasy and boy bands. The later never even fazed me until after I broke up with my fiancé. Sure, I thought they had some fun music to bounce around to but when they were playing music at Disney, where I worked, I didn’t even bother. Everyone talked about how cute they were, my sister Cay mostly, she couldn’t get enough of them. For me, I was lost on them, that is until March of 2000. That was when I started to look at those bands in a different light. Little did I know they would change my life.

I had just broken up with my fiancé of 2 ½ years. Probably the hardest thing I ever had to do in my life. We had lots of problems, the least of which was the money, but the main reason was the abuse. It took me a long time to realize that although my heart was in love with this man, my brain was telling me something completely different. I was living for my heart, which was what I thought I should be doing, however there’s a big part of me that should have been listening to my brain. Anyway, long story short, I did what I should have done in the beginning and ended it. I started over fresh and thing number one I did was get a new car. When I started the car up I think it was a sign that this was the car I should buy and that the car and the music would change my life, although at that moment, I had no idea how. The song, yeah, it was that boy band that my sister Cay kept talking about, NSYNC. She couldn’t get enough of them but the song made a lot of sense the more I listened to it. It was what I needed to do to my ex and just say “Bye Bye Bye”. I went out and bought the CD when it came out and started listening to this group. I didn’t really think much of them but enjoyed how the music made me feel. Being a music person at heart and being trained, I still had my doubts about their abilities. However, when I heard them sing acapella for the first time, that was the kicker. I knew that they had talent and weren’t just a group of “pretty boys”.

Despite being faced with my newfound single status, life went on as it always does. In order to escape from the personal things going on in my life I did what I love to do and indulge myself in work. Jayne became the person that you could always depend on to work 60-70 hours a week. She was the one that people turned to if someone called in sick to work or something else was needed. My solace became that particular group who seemed to take me out of a bad mood or when I was down and depressed. I started not eating as much as I should and dropped a good 40 pounds and was starting to feel really good about myself. One of the best things that came out of everything was my friendship with my sister Cay. We became best friends. If you had asked the two of us in High School if we were even friends we probably would have said no. We traveled in different circles and just led our own lives. It amazes me sometimes to think about how it took us being so far away from each other to become close, and it was that group NSYNC that did it, that finally made us realize that we had grown up and changed. At any rate, we now had something fun in common, whether it was the newest song or something that they did on television it brought us closer together.

Even though Cay and I had become so close, there was still over 1000 miles of distance between us. Thank goodness for the internet…speaking of the internet, it really plays a much larger role in the whole scheme of things than I ever thought it would. When I think back on it, that’s a large part of what led me to today. It introduced me to two of my very dearest friends Macey and Ryanne. I would talk to the girls for all hours of the night although I never even met them. When I was having family issues, these were the girls who saw me through it. Whenever I needed a smile or a hug they were there for me, even if it was over the internet. Between Caytlyn, Macey and Ryanne, I had the three best friends I could ever ask for.

As I said, your life can change at any instant and that’s what mine did. I finally saw that group NSYNC in concert in May with Caytlyn. The two of us had so much fun. That was the first time I saw him. He had no clue who I was and probably didn’t even care at that point in his life. He was just a member of a group who sang a song that I instantly fell in love with. It was one that he wrote and from that moment on, my feelings about this group changed completely. I began to follow their careers and tried to catch everything they did on television or otherwise. I guess I became a full out fan of the group. I had pictures on my desk, talked with my friends about them, listened to their music, all that fun stuff. My sister and I called it our second childhood that we were living through. Never had we been this far gone on a group. We weren’t really into the whole thing with Menudo or NKOTB so this was a new experience for us. Our mother laughed when we were home together that September. We had both seen the guys two times in concert by that point and were just gushing over all the pictures that we had. Unfortunatly, we were home for sad reasons. Once again, that saying that life can change at any instant came up again. We were faced with the death of our grandfather who we were both very close to. I think it was then that I decided that as much fun as Florida was, it was time to go back to family.

The fateful day came in October when the proverbial shit hit the fan and I was let go from Disney. I didn’t know what to do or where to turn until I spoke to Caytlyn. She opened her home that she shared with her boyfriend to me and immediately I packed my things and within two days was back up north. I was bound to start over once again. Caytlyn, Macey and Ryanne were there for me to cry to, to listen to me and to lean on . They once again proved that friendship can go across the miles and sustain a distance. It doesn’t matter if you’ve ever seen their face, a friend can be anyone you meet. I was faced with finding a new life in New Hampshire. Finding a job was the first order of buisiness and I tried many different things, and got more rejections than I really could handle.

That group once again was a main focal point of our lives. All four of us loved to write stories about how great our lives would be should we meet the five of them. We wrote about love, marriage, happiness and joy, all things that the four of us were striving for in our lives. As Ryanne struggled with school and classes, Macey struggled with work and Caytlyn struggled with her relationships. We were all there for each other. Ryanne made the decision with some other friends of ours that she was going to move to Florida. I couldn’t have been happier for her. Then she asked me to move with her. I thought long and hard about it and couldn’t come to my final conclusion. We left it up in the air however they constantly were talking to me about it in an effort to get me to make my decision to travel with them. It was also time once again for that particular boy band to go on tour. We talked for hours about it, on the phone, on the computer, through letters, anyway that we possibly could. It had been decided that we would all finally meet in Chicago. And that brings me to the events that just happened to lead me to today.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, you never know what will happen in your life or where it might turn. When we got to Chicago I think Caytlyn and I were more excited about meeting Macey and Ryanne and the rest of the girls than we were about the actual concert. Don’t get me wrong, we were psyched about seeing our favorite band in concert. But there was this bet that we made. One night while driving to rehearsal I turned to Caytlyn and made a deal with her. I told her that if she got to meet one or the other of her favorite two members that she would have to audition for a prestigious music school in Boston. Little did she know I had plans of my own for her. Without her knowing I had made a recording of her singing. Cay is an amazing singer with a gift that I could only dream of having. Her presence on stage and her ability to belt out a melody in front of complete strangers is something I could never do. Her argument was that she needed to close her eyes and I reminded her that some of those singers close their eyes quite often when they sing and as she became more comfortable that she would be fine. My plan was to get her recording to one of the guys in the band who happened to also do some work on the side in the music industry helping out new artists. He was always looking for new talent and I felt that my sister was perfect. I think I was more excited about my sisters possible music career than I was about the concert. I just had to make sure that she met the guys.

We arrived at the Hotel Monaco and were in awe. Immediately we were greeted by Ryanne and Macey along with Amy and Robin who couldn’t have been happier to see us. We couldn’t believe that we were all together. We were running through the lobby screaming and you would have thought the guys were close behind with all the noise we were making. Little did we know, they were there. Standing in the elevator were 3 of the 5 members of the band. We were about to have our first encounter. As I looked ahead I saw the brown eyes of that particular member who I had fallen for the year previous. He was even more striking in person than he was in all the videos and pictures that I had seen. I stood there looking at him and couldn’t speak at first. There were no words inside me and I didn’t know what to say. We caught each other’s eyes as his elevator closed and he winked at me. He mouthed the numbers “1235” and I wasn’t quite sure what it meant. Macey, Ryanne and Cay had to shake me to make me come back to my senses. They had both just seen JC and Lance and were in their glory. Ryanne came up to me first and started to talk. “You just had eye contact with Chris girlfriend! Why didn’t you say anything?” her words were lost on me as I was still in a daze. I couldn’t believe who I had just seen. I saw someone that I never in a million years would have thought I would make direct eye contact with. “I….I…..I don’t even know what to say. But did you see what he said to me?” I asked.

“Hell yeah,” Caytlyn replied, “He just gave you his damn room number!” she was in shock as she began to talk with Macey about how beautiful Lance looked that day. “Well, lets get up to our rooms,” Cay said as the girls headed towards the elevators.

“Wait a minute,” Ryanne said as she stopped the group, “Didn’t you and Jayne make a deal Caytlyn? If you saw Lance then you had to start auditioning for music schools right?” the girls all joked and agreed that now Caytlyn would have to pursue her dreams of becoming a musician. The world around me was completely lost. I could only think of those eyes that were staring at me from that elevator. I was determined to find out what 1235 meant. Maybe it was his room number but why would he give it to me? What would make him tell me his room number. There had to be another reason behind it. We all managed to get checked into our rooms and headed on up to get ourselves all ready for soundcheck which we were all lucky enough to have passes to. We met in the hallway and jumped on the L to make our way over to the venue.

Soundcheck was outstanding and once again I found myself faced with those deep brown eyes that seemed to be delving deep into my soul. I watched him and his friends as they performed on the stage and answered questions for the teenies in the audience. My friends and I all had our own questions that we wanted answered by the guys but they were best saved for the time that we were out with them partying or at least not around a group of 13-16 year olds. I watched as my sister Caytlyn got lost in the eyes of Justin and she looked into the deep blue eyes of her future. At the moment I was lost in the brown eyes that were looking so intently at mine. He motioned to one of the large bodyguards that were standing close by so that none of the teenies would jump up on stage and whispered something into his ear. A few moments later I had my first encounter with someone who I now consider a close friend. He said for my friends and I to stay in our seats when everyone left that the guys wanted to meet us. I turned and told my friends who put out a collective scream and the guys all looked at us and laughed. We went over to the side of the stage and had our first “real” encounter with the guys. To my shock, the one who I wanted to speak with more than anything did his best not to even come up to me. I spoke with all the others and they invited us to spend the evening with them out dancing and drinking after the show. We were all excited and looked forward to what was to come. The entire time I felt eyes watching every move I made. He did his best however to stay far away from me. I wasn’t sure what to think other than that I really wanted to speak to him. I, being the shy type at times, decided not to say anything. I watched my friends talk and joke with him and Ryanne seemed to be getting along quite well with him as well although she was lost in the blue eyes of his band mate JC. We were in for the night of our lives and the four of us couldn’t have been more excited.

The concert of course was amazing. It was probably the best concert that we girls had ever been to in our lives. The guys were all right on. They surprised us with special seats for the concert when they had found out where our seats were. We got to sit right up front together and we all enjoyed the extra attention that the guys were giving to us. They pointed and waved and we all took pictures galore. Justin gave Caytlyn winks throughout the concert and that smile that sent shivers through her body did even more to her when that smile was focused on her. Lance kept looking down at Macey and she melted under the stare of those green eyes. Macey had always felt that Lance was stunning but seeing him up close she was mesmerized. When they sang “This I Promise You” Macey, Caytlyn and Ryanne were in their glory. Justin pointed to Caytlyn as he sang, when Lance sang “over and over I fall” he looked directly at Macey and JC sang right to Ryanne’s green eyes. Never had my friends experienced a night like this. I on the other hand couldn’t understand why the brown eyes that I had been placed under the spell of would not make contact with mine. It was almost as if he was scared to look at me for he would be under some type of spell. However, he sang like an angel that night and I caught him several times looking at me when I was looking at one of the other guys in the group. The girls and I enjoyed every minute of the concert and dreaded the moment when they would sing those words that ended every concert. When they said goodnight to the stadium we headed out and we were all talking a mile a minute about the amazing experience that we just had. The night to come was what we were even more looking forward to.

We headed back up to our rooms and found waiting there for us flowers of every type. There was a signed card for each of us which I still have in my scrapbook from the trip. “It was a pleasure meeting such incredible ladies like all of you today. We can’t wait to go out and show you all the time of your lives tonight. Love, Chris, JC, Joey, Justin and Lance.” We quickly got dressed and heard the phone ring to let us know that they would meet us down in the lobby. We looked at each other in the mirrors of the room to make sure we were all prepared for our night out and once we were all assured that we couldn’t look any better we headed on our way. The night that followed was full of all of us dancing and drinking and just generally having a great time with the guys. Much to my dismay, the person I wanted to be there wasn’t waiting in the lobby to greet us. I looked around at my friends who had each taken the arm of one of the members of the group and Joey approached me. “He’ll be here in a little bit,” he said to me as he squeezed my hand. I don’t know how Joey knew that I was looking for him, maybe it was just that connection that Joey and I still have to this day, but he knew that my mind was on that person who had been haunting my mind all day, and really, all year. The guys led us to the bar where we all started drinking and dancing and really enjoying ourselves. Each of us girls took turns dancing with each of the guys, however when all was said and done, my friends ended up with their partners for the evening. Justin and Caytlyn looked so comfortable together. They still do to this day. I remember watching them dance together for the first time that night to the same song they danced to many times after. As they danced together it was as if the world stood still between them. Caytlyn told me later that night that it was the first time that Justin kissed her. Macey and Lance were in their own heaven as well. Macey was completely lost in the green eyes of Lance. He held her close as his hands roamed her back and she could feel every inch of his body close to her. The look that they had for each other that night was the same look that we all have seen many times since then. As the song continued to play I watched as JC held Ryanne in a deep embrace. I’ll never forget that song and I know that they won’t either. When it was played for them years later they always rememberd that moment as they shared their first dance.

I on the other hand, well, I was up at the bar with Joey joking around with him. We were having a great time joking and talking together. We were probably there about an hour while everyone was on the dance floor except the two of us when I felt someone come up next to me. He put his arm on my shoulder and I turned to look. As I turned around, brown eyes met brown as we held each others gaze. I think Joey walked away because when I turned around to say something to him, after what felt like an eternity he was gone. “Hi,” he simply said to me. I finally found the words I was looking for earlier as I said hello as well. The two of us went from there and settled into conversation. Where was that crazy guy that I saw up on stage? I had no idea what had happened to that person but I enjoyed the one that was sitting in front of me. Oh sure, we joked with each other, we both found that we had a very similar sense of humor. After a few drinks a familiar song came on as he grabbed my hand, “Come on, we’re at a club, lets dance,” he said to me as he pulled me onto the dance floor. The strains of Michael Jackson’s “The Way You Make Me Feel” came out of the DJ booth as the two of us danced together for the first time. My hands found their way up around his neck as he pulled me close. His breath was on my neck as he held me tight with his arms around my waist. Once again those eyes looked straight into mine as that saying came through my head again. My life changed forever at that moment as I danced for the first time with Chris. The remainder of the evening was spent with us girls all dancing and drinking with the guys just as it began. I remember vividly those many trips to the ladies room so that the four of us could quickly mention one of the guys and the incredible time we were having with them. We were initially worried about Joey not having a girl there but soon after he left my side he was found out on the floor with some random girl having a fantastic time.

The night ended quicker than it began as we made our way back to the hotel. Chris held my hand as the two of us stepped into the second elevator behind the rest of the group as there just wasn’t room for us in the first one. The girls all went up to the room and later they told me that all they talked about was what an amazing night they had just experienced. I on the other hand, well, my night was just beginning. Chris pulled me close in an embrace as the two of us stepped into the elevator alone. He put his arms around my waist and pulled me close and looked deep into my eyes. I remember the moment like it was yesterday as my arms found their way up around his neck and my fingers found their way into his hair. His lips were so close to mine as I breathed in his scent, it was that of all that is new in the world. The earth stood still at that moment as he leaned his face closer to mine and placed a simple kiss on my lips. “Jayne,” he began, “I’ve never met anyone like you in my life. I don’t know what it is that drew us together but I’m so glad I met you.” Was all he said to me. It was all that I needed and with that the elevator doors opened to a whole new world that laid before me.

The world that awaited was that in which I was completely and hopelessly in love. I never thought it would happen again to me. I thought that Scott was it, that he was the one I was meant to be with and I had lost it for one reason or another. Little did I know, that my life would change and that I would meet Christopher and that in one weekend we would fall in love with each other. He took my hand in his and our fingers intertwined as he walked me to my room. As we stood outside the door he leaned in close to me with our hands clasped together. He put our hands behind my back and gently pushed my back against the wall. He leaned his face in close to mine and I could feel his breath on my face. It was as if we were breathing the same breath at that moment as we leaned in close together. He brought his lips down to my face and kissed every inch of it starting with my eyes and working his way down to my lips. Even today, five years later, his touch does wonders to me. We ended our embrace with simple nips at each other as we said goodnight and looked forward to the day ahead. He said a very simple goodnight as I fell into the room and watched him through the peephole in the doorway make his way down to his.

The rest of the weekend was as if I was in a dream. We spent endless hours together exploring the city that lay before us with our friends. We girls were all in our glory. It was more than we could have ever imagined. Justin and Caytlyn were inseperable the entire weekend. He even sang a song and dedicated it to her at the show that next night. He sang “Something Like You” more beautiful than we had ever heard him sing it. The only other time I heard him sang it so amazingly well was at their wedding a year later. Lance was so entirely romantic with Macey that day. He left her a note in our room giving her clues as to where to meet him. When she showed up at the same spot where he kissed Emmanuelle Chriqui in On the Line, Macey melted under his spell, he kissed her there for the first of many times to come. They spent the rest of the day together exploring and he took her to the top of the Sears Tower so that she could see the entire city. She told me later that night that it was one of the most breathtaking sights she had ever seen. Ryanne also had an amazing day as she spent her day exploring the Art Museums in Chicago with JC on her arm. He taught her all that he had learned about art and she just became a puddle under his eyes and his touch. They had a romantic dinner together at one of the finest restaurants in Chicago and enjoyed each and every moment of their time together.

I on the other hand, was lost in the world of Chris. The two of us just spent time walking around the city and joking around with each other. We went down to the Navy Pier and walked around there and then headed to an arcade where we goofed around together. Although maybe not as romantic as the other girls days, mine was spent exactly as I wanted it to be spent. Chris and I took time to get to know each other on a more personal level and once again found many things in common. Hours were spent just gazing at each other where nothing and everything was said at the same time. We only had to look at each other and we knew exactly what the other was thinking. I think that was the day that I realized that I would be with this man for the rest of my life.

Christopher and I have been engaged now for three years. My life has changed immeasurably since that first day that I met him. My sister, Cay, has become the wife of Justin and they now have two gorgeous children. Not only that, I did slip Lance a copy of my sisters recording while we were in Chicago for that trip. Lance immediately wanted her to sign with his company and he became her personal manager. Although Cay had always thought that Lance was one of her “favorites” of the group, it didn’t even measure up to the love that Macey had for Lance. Macey is expecting her first child in two weeks. I can’t wait to spoil the baby rotten. Chris and I already have a room set up in our home for our nieces and nephews that often come to visit our home and Macey and Lance’s little girl is going to be just another addition to our family. JC and Ryanne are getting married in a month and they already have a son. Ryanne became pregnant soon after we all met in Chicago however wanted to finish school before marrying JC who immediately proposed. Joshua is a beautiful little boy and the apple of his father’s eye. Ryanne has been doing a lot of work lately with the group as well as being the sole producer of Caytlyn’s latest album. You should see JC’s eyes beaming when he watches his future wife work. He’s so proud of everything that she does and he just loves his son to death. He’s really an amazing father and Ryanne is just an outstanding mother.

Christopher and I have had our problems through the past few years. We broke up for a little while when I felt like I was once again following my heart instead of listening to what my head was telling me. I was afraid that what happened in the past would happen again, although he certainly tried to beat that idea out of my head. He told me last week that he fell in love with me the moment that he gave me his room number in the hotel lobby in Chicago. I told him that I fell in love with him the moment I saw him singing although I really don’t think I knew it at that time. In just a few months I’m going to become Christopher’s wife but tonight I take an even bigger step into my career and my future life. I can hear the orchestra tuning outside of my door and I know that I have to be ready to go in just a few moments. My flute is sitting by my side, it’s the one that Chris bought me for our one year anniversary. When I told him what Scott made me do he immediately set into motion the idea to buy me my own flute so that I could perform. Imagine my surprise the day that I got it in my hands. I started practicing almost instantly and I can’t believe that I’m about to step out there on that stage tonight. Its my Carnegie Hall debut and I’ve never been so nervous in my life. My best friends are all here to support me and each gave me a hug before they left the room. Each of the guys had their own little piece of advice for me as well. Joey told me to imagine everyone out there just sitting in their underwear. Justin told me to just be myself. JC told me to imagine that I’m sitting in the studio with only my friends around me and my fiancé sitting close by, he said that it would be just like recording my CD. Lance told me that no matter what that I’d still have a recording deal after this was over. Christopher, well, he didn’t have to say anything at all, the roses that adorned my dressing room said enough. On one of the cards he just wrote “I love you with all my heart and mind and I will love you until the day I die.” I think that’s all I needed to hear. The card is in my shoe so that I have just a bit of Christopher with me up on that stage tonight. My life is about to change once again as I step out on that stage, but I now know that although life can change at any second, that my life couldn’t be any more perfect.

The End

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