Seven

Justin and Lance passed the rest of the guys as they entered the lobby. Joey threw an arm around Lance’s shoulders. “You’re going the wrong way, Bass. The party is THIS way.”

“Nah,” Lance said, shrugging.

“C’mon, Lance. I think Justin can handle it without you tonight. He’s a grownup, as he loves to keep reminding us,” JC said, rolling his eyes.

“I’m staying because I WANT to,” Lance said, glaring at JC. Justin looked from one to the other, the conversation moving too fast for him to even TRY and understand it.

“Aw, are you two on a date?” JC cooed, and Lance glared even more. “Ah,” JC said, his voice full of supposed understanding.

“JC, shut up,” Lance growled. “We went for pizza. Now we’re back. Is it a crime for me NOT to want to go out and get wasted with you guys?”

“Pizza?” Joey wailed.

“For you, Lance, yes, it is. You’re out more then you’re home,” JC reminded him. “You just want to stay back because of…”

“I’m tired,” Justin announced. “And since you’re obviously talking about me, and I can’t really contribute to the conversation ANYWAY, I’m going upstairs. Have a nice time. Thanks, Lance, for dinner.” Justin smiled at Lance, then headed for the elevator. He stopped and signed an autograph for a few girls standing in a corner of the lobby, then a bodyguard followed him out of the room.

“Dammit, will you STOP?” Lance snapped at JC.

“You have a crush on Justin. It’s obvious,” JC said smugly.

“You’re an idiot,” Lance said. He looked at Joey and Chris. “I want to stay in. I’m not going out. End of story. Justin might need someone, and I’d like to be here if he does.”

“Oh, Lance,” Joey said sadly, shaking his head. “I thought you were over all that.”

“Over all WHAT?” Lance asked, exasperated.

“I know you had a thing for Justin way back when, but I thought you outgrew it.”

“I did. I mean, I didn’t. I mean, nevermind,” Lance stammered. “I’m going upstairs, because I’m Justin’s friend.”

“Don’t get TOO friendly,” Chris called after Lance, chuckling. Lance popped the finger at Chris behind his back as he walked to the elevators.

Lance slid the keycard through the slot, and the light turned green. He carefully walked into Justin’s room, not wanting to scare him. “Hey,” Justin said in surprise. He wore only his black boxer briefs and Lance shivered. “I was just gonna shower. I thought you were going out.” Lance simply shook his head, and Justin’s smile broadened. “Great. I’d rather not be alone. It’s creepy…not to mention boring. I’ll be right back out.”

Lance flopped onto the bed and tried not to think about Justin in the shower. Joey was right…he HAD outgrown the childish crush…hadn’t he? He couldn’t help but admire Justin; Justin was sexy and talented and so damn charming…when he wasn’t being a total asshole. But Justin was so different now, so vulnerable and needy. Was Lance taking advantage of all that? Lance groaned and buried his face in his crossed arms. This was such a soap opera.

When Justin came out of the bathroom, wearing a pair of flannel pajama bottoms, he saw Lance asleep on his bed. He grinned. Lance looked about ten years old when he slept. Justin sat down by Lance’s head and lightly stroked Lance’s pale cheek. “Hey, Sleeping Beauty…wake up.”

“Huh?” Lance’s green eyes blinked owlishly. “I fell asleep?”

“I didn’t know my showers took THAT long.” Justin toweled his short curls dry and threw the towel back into the bathroom. “Do you wanna order something to drink?”

Lance shook his head and pulled out the pad of paper. “Can I ask you something?”

“Sure,” Justin said, sitting back down again.

“The last night we were together like this…you mentioned something about a guy sucking you off,” Lance wrote, his face turning red.

“Oh, that,” Justin said, waving a hand in the air. “I had been drinking…he was hot, I guess.” Lance looked up at him, eyes wide. “It was just one time, you know, just to see what the big deal was for you and JC,” Justin finished with the old cocky grin. Lance smiled and looked down at the tablet. He should have known better. “Hey,” Justin said softly, and Lance looked up. Justin was frowning. “That’s not true.”

“It’s not?” Lance asked.

Justin shook his head. “It’s true that it only happened once, and I was drunk…but it wasn’t just to see what you guys were all about…I was wondering what I myself was all about.”

“Oh,” Lance whispered, but Justin wasn’t looking at him. Justin had wandered over to look out the balcony doors.

“I was jealous of you and JC…you guys always knew and you always were able to talk about it…and I couldn’t. I always noticed guys, but I noticed girls, too…and that made things easier.”

“Jesus,” Lance said out loud. Justin couldn’t hear him anyway. Was Justin saying he was bi?

“I can’t come out like you guys could,” Justin said. “This sounds pretty conceited, but if it came out tomorrow that you and JC were gay, it wouldn’t do half things to your careers, or to NSYNC, that my coming out would. So I just hid all that.”

Anger flared inside of Lance at Justin’s words, but he knew deep down that Justin was right. Lance got up and put a hand on Justin’s back, making Justin turn around and look at him. “I’m sorry,” Lance said. Justin shrugged.

“I hide it well, right?” Lance nodded. “I’m sorry, Lance.” Lance gave him a questioning look. “For turning into the person I have turned into. I don’t know…well, maybe I DO know why. I work so hard at hiding the part of me that I hate that I have now officially turned into a hateful person.”

Lance shook his head. “Not hateful.”

“Like you guys REALLY enjoy being around me,” Justin pointed out. “I admit, I have grown to be spoiled. I’ve grown to want things the way I want them, because I know that ninety-nine percent of the time, I can get them the way I want them. But treating you guys badly…that’s just wrong. And I know I do it a lot to you, because you let me. Why do you let me?”

Lance’s mouth opened and closed. He didn’t know why, exactly. He just put up with it. Because it was Justin. Because he loved… “I dunno.” Lance shrugged to emphasize his words. Justin smiled and gave Lance a hug.

“I’ll try not to do it anymore, okay? I don’t know where I’d be without you right now.”

Lance hid his face in Justin’s shoulder and just enjoyed the brief moment of closeness, not knowing WHAT to say.

Eight