Cry

By: Neenie

Chapter One

Nick walked along the shore of his private beach in the Florida Keys. He was alone, again. His pant legs were wet from the water as it rushed upon the beach. The water was cold but it didn’t seem to faze him. He was hoping the cold would numb him from his hurt.

The sky was a dark gray. A storm was coming, he knew that much. How could everything be this fucked up in such a short time? He didn’t realize the tears slowly fell from his eyes as he watched the sky. He stuck his hands in his pockets, not bothering to wipe them from his face. Why? So more could fall?

The rain began falling. He turned back, wanting to walk home, but saw how far the distance was. He hadn’t realized he walked that far from the house. Blinking against the raindrops, he saw a house not too far from where he stood. Without hesitating, he walked towards it hoping its owner was home. He needed to get out of the rain. The temperature was dropping.

Nick knocked on the door, then proceeded to try and dry his hand. The door opened slowly and Nick found him staring into the face of an old friend. Or so he thought. “Faith? Faith Douglas from Ruskin?”

“Yeah,” she answered cautiously.

“It’s Nick. Nick Carter, from Ruskin. We went to elementary school together, I think.” Nick wiped the tears and rain from his face.

She stood behind the door watching him. “What do you want?” she asked coldly.

Nick, startled, jumped back from the harshness in her voice. “Uh… well…”

“Uh…well… what? I’m in the middle of something. What do you want?” Faith asked, ignoring the pained expression on his face.

“Nothing. I don’t want anything. Sorry to bother you,” he mumbled, before moving quickly away from the house. Without looking back, he headed up the beach and towards his home.

It took him forty minutes, fighting against the strong wind and rain, to get back to his home. Once he was inside the door he stripped himself of all his clothes, wearing only his boxers. He grabbed his clothes, tossing them towards his laundry room, not caring if they made it there or not, and continued onto his bedroom where dry and warm clothes waited. He went through his closet pulling out a pair of black sweatpants and his favorite sweatshirt. He changed quickly from his wet boxers to a dry pair before slipping on his sweats.

He made a quick stop in the bathroom before heading down to the kitchen. “So, Carter, what’s for dinner? The usual,” he sighed, opening his closet and pulling down the small box. He opened the small package, placed it in the microwave and waited. Less than four minutes later his dinner was served. A hot bag of extra buttered popcorn. He grabbed a soda on his way to his den.

The soda and popcorn in one hand, the remote in the other. He knew exactly how he’d wait out this storm. The same way he waited out the others. Alone.

Chapter Two

The storm that swept through the Florida Keys wasn’t classified as a hurricane but the wind did reach hurricane strength. Nick realized how lucky he’d been that none of the windows of his house were broken. He drove into town the afternoon after the storm to stock up on some emergency supplies he might need in the future.

Nick found himself in the Wal-Mart. He had his water and batteries, now he needed flashlight. He headed towards that section lost in his own thoughts. He smiled politely at the people passing by hoping that he wouldn’t be recognized. So far, so good.

He turned down the aisle with the flashlights and contemplated two of them. “I think you should go with the heavy duty one. It lasts longer and the battery is rechargeable,” a soft voice said from behind him. Different from the day before.

Nick turned to see Faith standing behind him holding the same flashlight. “Thanks.” He grabbed the flashlight she recommended and left her alone in the aisle. He headed toward the front of the store to pay for the few things he was buying.

“Nick, I’m sorry about yesterday,” she started. He didn’t realize she was behind him on the line.

“Don’t, Faith. Just don’t. Forget I ever knocked on your door yesterday, okay?” Nick paid the cashier and left the store.

He had reached his car and was tossing his things into the trunk when Faith came up behind him. “It’s been so long Nick.”

“Apparently it’s going to be longer. I’m sorry I inconvenienced you yesterday when I went to your place trying to find a little shelter from the rain. I’ll try not to do that again.” Nick slammed his trunk down and walked around to the driver’s side.

In his rearview mirror he watched her walk back towards the store and lean against the wall. She was here alone, that he was sure of. He watched as she checked her watch for the third time. He backed out of his spot and turned the car towards Faith. He pulled up to the curb and rolled down the passenger side window. They stared at each other for a few minutes before Nick spoke. “You need a ride? I’m going your way.”

Hesitantly she nodded. “Thanks,” she whispered before she climbed into his car. “The cab was supposed to wait for me but he didn’t.”

Nick pulled away from the curb and began driving towards their town. The silence in the car was deafening.

“Nick, about yesterday,” Faith began.

“Like I said in the store, don’t. I don’t want or need any explanation. Let’s just say I’m doing you a favor by driving you home. After that, there is nothing to say.”

“You’re the last person I expected to see on my doorstep, Nick.”

“But you remembered me, didn’t you?”

She looked out the window instead of answering.

“You did. You remembered me and you let me get soaked anyway? Is that how you treat your old friends?”

“Do you really think I’d forget you? From kindergarten through the sixth grade I had the biggest crush on you. You never knew I was alive. And then you stopped coming to school altogether. That’s how it’s been all my life.”

Faith watched the ocean as they drove down the highway. “No one knew I existed, Nick, not even you. I was always the loner, the girl with no friends. And, not too surprisingly, it stayed that way throughout my life.”

Nick turned onto her road and waited for her to point out her house. “Thanks for the ride home, Nick.” He sat and watched until she walked into her house before he pulled away and headed for his.

Nick unloaded his car and brought everything inside, putting the things on the kitchen table. Breaking his routine of popcorn for dinner, Nick pulled down the staircase that led to the attic and headed towards a trunk in the back corner. He pushed some of his memories aside until he found what he was looking for. His elementary school yearbook. He thumbed through until he found the Ds. There she was. Douglas, Faith. Third row, second picture. Skinny girl with glasses bigger than her face, hair shorter than his.

He flipped through the yearbook and found what else he was looking for. The “Most Likely To…” list. He scrolled down until he found Faith’s name and read what their classmates thought of her. “Faith Douglas: Most likely to become a nun. Most likely to stay a loser.”

Nick bit his lip as he read the second one over. He could barely remember what she was like in elementary school. If it was that bad then, how was it during high school? He sighed throwing the book back in the trunk and leaving the attic.

Nick walked into the kitchen to make a sandwich and stopped when he heard the weather report. There was a hurricane headed their way.

Chapter Three

Nick boarded up his windows the next morning after hearing the hurricane would probably touch down within 48 hours. His stomach knotted when he heard about the storm, but he let that pass. He couldn’t worry about himself now…he had to worry about his house.

By mid afternoon Nick’s house was secure. He decided to take a long walk down the beach as he had done the other afternoon. He left his sandals on the stairs and walked towards the water. He gasped as the cold water hit his feet but continued walking down the beach.

“Nick?”

He stopped wading through the water and waited for Faith to catch up to him.

“I just wanted to say thanks for yesterday. You didn’t have to drive me home but you did,” Faith said, with a slight edge to her voice.

“You’re welcome.” He turned and headed back towards his home, wondering if she’d follow.

Faith stood behind him quietly, wanting to say something but unsure of what to say.

“Yeah?” Nick asked. “Anything else?”

“Guess not,” she glared at him before turning back.

“What is it?” he asked stepping closer. “There is something on your mind so just say it.”

Ignoring him, she continued towards her house.

“Maybe this is why you didn’t have any friends back in elementary school.”

He had her full attention now. The moment the words left his mouth he regretted them.

She turned to him, her eyes filled with tears.

He could see years of pain in her eyes before she turned away from him and walked to her house.

She never looked back.

Nick kicked at the sand on his way back to his own house. He wished he never said those words to her. He couldn’t understand why this bothered him as much as it did. He sighed as he reached his home. He sat on the stairs leading to his porch.

God, how could things have gotten so screwed up. In the past week I’ve found out… He sighed once again. I’m not even going to think about it. If I don’t think about it, maybe it’ll go away. He snickered to himself, yeah, right, like that’ll happen.

Nick jumped when he heard someone step up onto the step in front of him. He looked up slightly and hung his head after seeing who it was.

“Are you gonna say anything to me Nick?”

“What’s there to say, Bri?” Nick said, shifting his body away from Brian.

“You can tell me what’s going on in your head,” he answered, shifting with Nick. “Don’t run from me. We’re friends or have you forgotten that already?”

Nick glanced sideways at Brian. “I haven’t forgotten anything yet, Brian. I just came down here to relax and not think. You asking me questions is making me think about it.”

“Sorry, Nick. You want to talk about something else? Do something else? Go somewhere? There’s a hurricane coming here, you can’t stay.”

“I can stay and I will stay,” Nick said, standing up and leaving Brian on the steps. He opened the door and walked into his boarded house waiting for Brian to follow.

A couple of minutes passed before Brian entered. “Fine. I can’t force you to leave, I can’t force you to do anything. I just wanted to make sure you’re okay with everything.”

Nick turned to face Brian, turning so fast that Brian jumped back. “Okay with everything? Why would I be okay with everything? That’s a load of shit. I can’t sit and think without it coming up. Do you think I like sitting out there looking at the only peaceful thing in my life knowing that tomorrow a hurricane is gonna wipe that peace away? Do you think its fun knowing that I’m a ticking time bomb ready to go off at any moment?” He watched as Brian looked away from him. “Yeah, it’s not fun. Not at all. And it’s only been two days. How is it gonna be in two weeks? Or two months… if I make it that far?”

His lower lip trembled and he sank to the floor. “Bri, I can’t deal with his. What the hell am I going to do?”

“Fight it, Nick. You can fight it and get past this. And we’ll stick by you, Nick. You know that,” Brian said dropping to the floor besides Nick. “You don’t have to fight this alone.”

Nick allowed Brian to pull him close. “Yes I do. This is something I need to do alone. I love you and the guys for wanting to help me but this is something I need to do.”

“Nick, let one of us help you. Let me wait out this storm with you, please. And then, after that, you can go at this alone,” Brian asked, his eyes pleading with Nick.

“You should go, Bri. I need time to think about everything and it’s best that I do it on my own. I just want to be alone. It hasn’t really sunk in yet. When it does and I need you, I’ll call you. I promise, Bri. But right now I need to be alone with my thoughts.” Or what’s left of them.

Brian pushed Nick’s hair out of his face. “If you need me, just call and I’ll be here. No matter what, or who, I’m in the middle of,” Brian smiled.

Nick laughed through his tears and looked up at Brian.

“I mean it Nick. Anytime you need me, call.”

Nick nodded and wrapped his arms around Brian’s back, his head buried against his neck. “I’m so scared, Bri. I know I heard the words the doctor said but they haven’t sunk in yet. I’m so scared, Bri. I’m so scared,” he mumbled.

Choking back his own tears, Brian held Nick while he cried. “It’s okay to be scared, Nick.”

It took a few minutes for Brian to help Nick to the couch. His sobs hadn’t let up and his body was shaking with fear. “Do you want me to stay?” Brian asked once Nick was on the couch.

Nick wiped his face and looked over at Brian with his red eyes. “Yeah,” he managed to say. “For a while anyway.”

Brian nodded and pulled himself up on the couch next to Nick. “Do you want to do anything?”

Nick shook his head. He took a deep breath before saying, “No. I just want to sit here quietly with the lights off.”

“Okay. We’ll do that then,” Brian whispered moving closer to Nick and putting his arm around his shoulder.

“How did you get stuck coming here? Did you draw the short straw?” Nick asked quietly, no hint of humor in his voice.

“Nope. Only Leighanne knows I’m here. Kevin and Kristin flew back to LA, AJ and Sarah are up at his house in Kissimmee and Howie is visiting with parents. Leigh’s staying with her parents for a few days so I came down here to see how you were. I’m here with you for as long as you can stand me,” Brian smiled.

Nick sat up and smiled at Brian, “You should leave now then. I already can’t stand you.”

“Aren’t you funny?” Brian laughed.

Nick sighed moving his head away from Brian’s shoulder. “I want to lay down. I’m starting to get a headache.”

“Did the doctor tell you how to stop one?” Brian asked, standing with Nick and following him to his bedroom.

“No, he said at this point it’s something I have to deal with.” Nick stood in his bedroom, his brow creased from the pain. “Can you sit with me while I sleep?”

Brian nodded and watched as Nick peeled off his clothes and climbed into his bed. His body shivered from the cool air. Brian walked to the closet and pulled out a blanket. He pulled it over Nick’s body, biting his lip when he heard a soft “thank you” from him.

Brian lay beside Nick, an arm wrapped around his side, as Nick fell into a restless sleep.

Chapter Four

Nick woke up a few hours later with a dull throbbing in his head. “Bri?” his voice croaked. When Nick rolled over he realized he was alone. He pulled the blanket off his body and threw his legs over the side of the bed, fighting off a wave of dizziness.

Stumbling out of the room, Nick headed towards the living room to find Brian sitting on the couch watching TV. Brian stared wide-eyed at Nick as he bumped into various things. “Nick?”

Nick looked up at Brian and gave him a half smile as he walked into the arm of the couch. “Nick? You okay?”

“I still have a headache. Maybe you should go, Bri. I’m not gonna be great company.”

“I don’t want to leave, Nick. I came down here to make sure you’re okay. You’re far from okay,” Brian said, standing and heading towards Nick, catching him as his legs gave out. “I’m not leaving you like this.” He carried Nick to the couch and sat him down trying to reason with him. “Nick, come on man. You need someone here. I’m all yours for the next few days. I’ll wait out the hurricane with you. Nick, you can’t be alone right now. You need us all. You need…”

A rage grew deep from within Nick. His hands grabbed onto the table in front of him and pushed it. Everything on the table fell, the glass on the tabletop shattering when it hit the floor. “I need? I don’t need anything from you. All I need is myself, Brian. I don’t need anyone. Especially you. You walk into my house with your high and mighty attitude thinking your words will cure me. You know what, Brian? Words won’t cure me. Hell, nothing can cure me.”

Nick turned towards Brian ignoring the fear and anger in his friend’s eyes. “Why do you think you know what I need? You’re not in my head. You must be feeling lucky about that too, huh?” He was hovering over Brian, their nose barely touching. “You know what you need? You need to get off my couch, walk out my door and go back to your wife. And I’m giving you two minutes to leave, Brian. I don’t want you here.” Nick jumped away from Brian and crossed his living room.

“Nick, you can’t mean that. You’re sick. What if something happens when you’re alone? What if something happens and no one is here to take care of you? What if…”

Nick grabbed the small picture frame and threw it at Brian, watching as the corner hit Brian in the head.

Brian bought his hand to his forehead pressing on the cut. He could feel the blood begin to trickle down the side of his face.

“What if nothing. If something happens, it happens. No one can stop anything from happening to me. Not me, not you and not a doctor.”

Brian pulled his hand away from his head and stared at the blood. He winced as his hand returned to the cut and looked up at Nick. “In all the years we’ve been friends, you’ve never done anything like this. We’ve fought but not like this. I only came here to help you, Nick,” Brian said, staring up at him.

“Yeah, you helped a lot. You gave me a headache. Get out of my house,” Nick said, walking to the door and pulling it open. “You want to help me, right?” he asked, waiting for Brian to nod before continuing. “Then this is how you can help me. Leave me alone. I don’t need you or your pity; I don’t need anyone’s pity. I need you to leave me alone. Maybe then I’ll get rid of this headache.” Nick glared at Brian until he stood and walked towards him.

Brian pulled his hand away from his forehead and showed it to him. “Just remember this, okay? When you think of me, remember this. The blood on my face and the blood on my hand.” Brian ran his bloody hand over Nick’s cheek making sure to leave blood. “And when you come to and remember that you’re not really an asshole and you see the blood on your face, you’ll remember what you did. I’m gonna have a nice little scar now, thank you.” Brian walked out of the house, a chill running through his body as the cool Florida air hit him. He turned to face Nick who was watching him through cold gray eyes. “Don’t come crawling to me when you need help.”

Nick stared for a moment longer, his eyes barely open as he glared at Brian. “I won’t.” With that said, Nick slammed the door in Brian’s face.

He turned back to his empty house, the glass on the couch catching his eye. He moved quickly, cleaning up his mess. Once he was sure the glass was gone he picked up the frame and placed it back on the table. He saw for the first time what he had thrown at Brian. The picture in the frame was from Brian’s 21^st birthday. The two of them had their arms around each others shoulders and grins on their faces.

Nick smiled at the memory, his fingers running over Brian’s face in the picture. Then he noticed the blood in the corner of the frame. His eyes widened as he realized what he had done only twenty minutes earlier. “Oh no,” he mumbled, running for the door. “Please let him still be here.”

Brian had already gone. He wasn’t on the porch and his car was gone. Nick cursed himself as he closed the door behind him. “What the hell is wrong with me, Bri? Why did this have to happen to me?”

He groaned when he received no answer from the picture. He walked over to the couch, lying down with the frame against his chest. He’d call Brian tomorrow. “Brian will forgive me, won’t he?” he asked no one in particular. “God, I wish I could get rid of this headache,” he said, closing his eyes.

The next morning he woke to a loud obnoxious banging sound. “Shit, one of the boards came loose,” he groaned, jumping from the couch and heading towards the door. He grabbed his hammer before throwing the door opened. He didn’t see the person standing at the door when he ran out. The force of their bodies hitting caused Nick to go flying backward into the door, hitting his head after he fell.

“Nick, are you okay?” A soft voice asked from the other side of the porch.

“I’m fine,” he grumbled, pulling himself up. “What are you doing here?”

Faith stood, brushing her hair out of her face. “Are you hurt? Your face… It looks like you’re bleeding.” She took a few steps closer and their eyes met. “It’s dried blood. What did you do to yourself?”

“I didn’t do anything to myself. Why are you here? I have to fix whichever board is loose before the hurricane comes,” Nick pushed his way around her examining the boards on the lower part of the house. “These are fine. Maybe it was the upstairs?” he murmured to himself.

“Nick, your house if fine,” she said, following him as he circled his house looking for the loose board. “Nick, damn it, your house is fine. Why aren’t you listening to me?”

“I know what I heard. Are you gonna tell me I’m crazy too? I heard a loud noise before I ran into you on my porch. I need to find the loose board before the storm comes.” He bit his lip as he moved from window to window. They could each feel the wind pick up around them.

“That wasn’t a board, Nick. That was me knocking on your door. I was using my fist because I waited ten minutes without an answer.” Faith stood her ground as she watched Nick look away from the house to her.

“You did this? You woke me up? What the hell is wrong with you?” Nick snapped hurrying back into the house. The wind began picking up speed. “Why are you here?”

“There’s no reason I’m here. Never mind,” Faith whispered, fighting the wind as she headed up the beach.

Nick watched her struggle against the wind. “Faith!” The rain started falling as he made his way to her. “Faith, you can’t leave. Not with the weather this bad. Stay at my place until the storm lets up. It’s big enough so the two of us won’t run into each other.” Nick blinked rapidly trying to avoid the rain in his eyes. The wind howled around them. He grabbed her arm as she turned around to head towards her house. “I can’t let you leave in this, Faith. You may not make it back. Stay, just until the wind dies down and the rain stops.”

She pulled the wet hair off her face and stared up at him. “Until the weather is better and I leave,” she said allowing him to pull her back to his place. Although the wind was working with them it was still strong. He didn’t want to run the risk of her losing her footing in the sand. Faith grabbed onto the rail after they got to the stairs. The rain pounded harshly against her face. “We’re almost there, Faith. Put your head down. Don’t let the rain hit you,” Nick yelled over the howl of the wind.

Nick got to his door and held onto the doorframe, stretching his long arm to help Faith. Nick managed to grip her hand and pull her towards the house. “Whatever you do, don’t let go,” he yelled. “The wind is stronger than I thought.”

Faith nodded, grabbing onto Nick’s arm with her hand that had previously held onto the rail. “I got you, Faith,” Nick yelled and pulled her into the house. Nick pushed her aside and quickly slammed the door shut. “Do you want dry clothes?” he asked her.

She didn’t nod. She didn’t say anything. She just stared at Nick, allowing the water to drip off her body and onto his hardwood floor. “Faith? Dry clothes? I can give you a pair of sweatpants and a T-shirt or a sweatshirt, whichever you’re more comfortable in. I’m going to change so if you want to think about it, that’s fine,” he smiled, trying to break the ice.

Faith finally blinked and glanced around at her surroundings. She looked back at Nick and frowned. “Faith? Clothes?”

She bit her lip, looking over his facial features. Then, before he knew it, she slapped him. Hard. Across his face.

Chapter Five

They stared at each other. His cheek stung but he ignored that. “What the hell did you do that for?” he asked quietly.

Faith glared at him. “How dare you even ask me that. What the hell did you do? You wanna know what you did?” She yelled.

Clueless, he nodded.

She walked towards him and pushed him. “I’ll tell you what you did,” she said, pushing him again. He stepped away from her and she continued to walk towards him, pushing him with every step until he was against the wall. “You may not know this but I HAD friends in elementary school. If you paid any attention to me you would know that,” she yelled, her hand pushing firmly against his chest.

“You never took the time to learn who I was. You never wanted to get to know me for me. You’re just like all the others, Nick. You thought you were better than I was. You and all your friends thinking…”

Nick grabbed her by the wrist and held it tightly. “Do you even know what you’re talking about? Me and my friends? My friends back then consisted of me and one other person in our class. I was never part of the group of kids who teased you and called you a loser. If you think really hard you’ll realize I’m right.” They stared at each other once again.

Faith jerked her arm out of Nick’s grasp.

”Faith, as far as I can remember I never said anything to hurt you back then. In all honesty, I probably didn’t say anything to you at all. I knew who you were and if we had given it a chance back then we probably would’ve become good friends,” Nick’s voice was soothing, trying to calm her down. “Faith, please believe me.”

“Then what was your comment before about? You said, maybe this is why you didn’t have any friends back in elementary school. What did you mean by that?” She asked slowly.

“I found our year book and looked through it. I saw what you were voted mostly likely to be, Faith. I never voted in that. You do believe me, right? I had nothing to do with it.”

“That doesn’t explain what you meant,” she said, finally backing away from him.

“I only said it to piss you off. And it worked. What can I say, Faith? I’m sorry for saying that. I didn’t mean it. Believe me, I knew how you felt. We didn’t go to junior high together, did we?” She shook her head and waited for him to continue. “Junior high was for me like elementary school was for you. It was horrible.”

“Don’t turn this around and make it out to be about you. It’s not about you. I don’t even know why I’m still here with you.”

“Because there’s a hurricane outside and I’m not letting you leave until we deal with this,” Nick said.

“There is nothing to deal with, Nick. We didn’t like each other then and we probably won’t like each other now,” Faith snapped. A chill ran through her body. She looked down and realized she was still wearing her wet clothes. She ran her fingers through her damp hair pulling it off her face.

“Do you want something dry? I have clothes you can borrow. I think my sister left some clothes here too, if you’re more comfortable in girls stuff,” Nick said, crossing his arms over his chest.

“I don’t care, I just need to get out of these clothes,” she said, following Nick out of the room.

He walked into his room and directly towards his closet, ignoring his reflection in the mirror. He was the last person he wanted to see.

“How long have you lived down here, Faith?” he asked, pulling out one of BJ’s T-shirts for her. “If that’s not warm enough, let me know. You can use one of my sweatshirts.” He continued looking for bottoms while he waited for her answer.

“Thanks. This should be fine,” she said softly. “I moved down here with my mom the summer after high school. My mom died in a car accident three months after we moved. It’s been just me since then.”

Nick found BJ’s flannel pajama bottoms and handed them to Faith. The wind whistled around the house. The rain was falling harder than it had been earlier. “I’m sorry about your mom, Faith. I didn’t mean to bring it up. I didn’t know.”

“It’s okay, Nick. You couldn’t have known. I didn’t keep in touch with anyone I knew when I moved down here,” she said. “Where can I go to change?”

“You can change here,” Nick smiled, “I’ll run to the bathroom to change. Don’t leave the bedroom, I’ll come back and get you.” Faith nodded, waiting for him to leave, closing the door behind him, before tugging her pants down. She had a hard time pulling the wet denim from her hips but eventually got them pooled around her ankles. Her legs were cold and damp and the room around her was chilly. She needed a towel to dry her legs before slipping on the bottoms. She walked over the door and opened it slightly, calling out for Nick.

“Yeah,” he yelled from the bathroom.

“When you’re done can I have a towel? I need to dry myself off before I put the clothes on,” Faith asked, watching Nick walk towards her with a towel. “Oh. Thank you. I should be done in a minute.” She watched him turn back towards the bathroom as she closed the door. She walked back to the center of the room and sat on his bed. She dried each leg before dropping the towel to the bed.

Faith stood, unsure of what to do. Her panties were wet and there was no doubt that if she put on the pajama bottoms they would get wet too. Doing the logical thing, as she always did, she stripped off her panties and put them in one of her pant legs. She stripped off her shirt as well, taking her bra and dropping that with her panties. She dried the rest of her body, dropping the towel back on the bed and grabbing the pajama bottoms.

Nick knocked on the bedroom door. “Faith. You done in there?”

“Just a minute,” she sighed, pulling the pants up as quickly as possible. She hastily threw the shirt over her head. “Okay, I’m done,” she said, watching as Nick walked back into his bedroom. “Is there any chance I can get one of your shirts to wear over this?” she asked quietly.

“Of course,” he answered just as quietly as he pulled a shirt out of his dresser. He handed it to her and waited for her to put it on before ushering her back into the living room. Nick sat next to her on the couch and sighed. “Can we be friends?”

She pulled her knees up to her chest and looked over at him. “What you said yesterday hurt, Nick. It hurt a lot, actually.”

“I’m sorry about that. It was one of those things that just slip out.”

Faith smiled softly. “I know. A lot of things slip out of my mouth too. Let’s try and get through this storm. If we both come out alive, we’ll work at being friends.”

“Okay,” Nick said. He reached over and flipped on the radio waiting for the weather report.

“…and Hurricane Carol is sweeping towards the Keys today. It’s being classified as a Category 4, possibly the worst storm the Keys has seen in years. Winds have been reported up to 75 miles per hour. If you’re in the area we highly recommend that you evacuate immediately.”

Nick looked at Faith and sighed. “It’s probably too late to leave now. There is no way in hell I’m driving in this. I think we’re stuck here until this is over.”

“Okay. Do you have any candles, in case…” Her words cut off as the room was filled with darkness. “In case of this,” she finished.

“Stay here, I know where they are.” Blindly, Nick walked through the house, bumping into things before he managed his way into the kitchen. His hands stretched out before him, he felt his way around the room before he found the cabinet. He found the candles, and matches, and felt his way back into the living room. “Faith?”

“I’m still on the couch,” she said. “You find the candles?”

“Yeah,” he whispered. “Just need to figure out a place to put them.” Nick thought the coffee table would’ve been a good place, if he hadn’t gotten angry with Brian. He put one candle on the table next to the couch, lighting the wick at the end. A dim light filled the room. He made his way to the other side of the room and placed a candle on the table next to the other couch.

“That’s better, right?” he asked, sitting down next to her again.

“Sure,” she smiled. The wind shook the boards that covered the windows causing Faith to scream. “What was that?”

“Just the wind. Probably rattling the boards. You okay?” he asked. He watched her nod. “Do you want some water or something? I know I have water, I think I have soda, and I know I have Cheerios and Rice Crispy Treats. I have mini bagels that taste like pizza but we need the microwave for that.”

“Water and crispy treats are fine.” Nick went into the kitchen and found a couple of glasses. He tucked the box of treats under his arms and carried the two glasses of water into the living room.

“Now here is some fine dining,” he laughed handing her a glass of water. She laughed with him. “Has anyone ever told you that you have a great laugh?”

Faith lowered her eyes to the floor. She could feel herself blush and was suddenly grateful that the electricity had been knocked out. “Thank you,” she said very quietly.

Nick could sense her uneasiness and changed the subject. “So, what do you want to do? Normally I’d be sitting here playing games but we can’t. I have some board games, if you want to try. Most of them are mine. I definitely have Monopoly and Yahtzee if you want to try those two? I have cards somewhere in the house. I have…”

Faith interrupted him. She placed her hand on his cheek and their eyes met. “How about we just talk?”

He nodded. He couldn’t tear his eyes away from hers. For the first time he noticed just how blue they were.

“Nick? Do you want to talk?”

“Yeah,” he whispered. “What do you want to talk about?”

“Well,” she started. A loud howl followed the sound of splintering wood filled the house.

Chapter Six

“What the hell was that?” she asked, her heart rate accelerating.

“I hope it wasn’t one of the boards. If it was, we’re probably screwed. Stay here while I go look around,” he said, the nervousness apparent in his voice.

“No, I’m going. And before you start arguing with me you should know that you’ll lose. I’m going with you,” she said, rising from the couch and standing at his side.

“Fine,” he said, taking her hand in his and leading her through the house, starting with the upstairs. The two of them walked slowly up the stairs hoping to find each room in tact. They started at the back of the house and checked each room one by one to find nothing visibly wrong. “I’m sure if the wind broke a board we’d see outside, right? Especially with this wind.”

“I think you’re right,” she said, following him towards the last room of the upper floor. “How many guest rooms do you have?” she laughed.

“Well, I have four sisters and a brother, plus my parents. I have one for each of them. My older sister rarely visits so her room isn’t used that much. Sometimes my friends come by and stay. I like having a lot of space,” he said quietly.

“Seems like it,” she said as they entered the last room on the floor. There were no problems with that room either.

“Okay, lets check downstairs,” she allowed him to lead the way. They knew the living room was fine. They checked the kitchen, laundry room, dining room, family room and finally Nick’s bedroom. “Maybe it was outside,” she offered.

“I hope so. I don’t see anything wrong in the house. I don’t see anything at all in the house, but that’s besides the point.”

“Where is the flashlight you bought yesterday?” she asked, with a smile on her face.

“It’s in the car. Perfect place for it, right?” he smiled back. They heard the splintering sound again and waited. The rain pounded hard against the house. “This is scary, isn’t it?” He asked.

“You can say that again.” Faith followed Nick back into the living room. They made themselves comfortable on the couch. “So…” she said, biting her lip.

“So… Where were we when we were interrupted?” He ripped open a crispy treat and shoved more than half of it in his mouth.

“Hungry?”

“Uh huh,” he nodded, attempting to smile.

“I think we were getting ready to talk,” she laughed. He was trying to chew what was in his mouth and having a little bit of trouble.

“Uh huh,” he nodded again.

“I think I’ll wait until you swallow that.”

“’ank oo,” he managed to say.

“Was that a thank you?” She asked.

He gave her the thumbs up before reaching for his glass of water. He downed half of that and smiled as he put it down. “And you were saying?”

“You’re a screwball, aren’t you?” she laughed.

He nodded. He curled his left leg under his body and turned towards her on the couch.

“Well,” she cast her eyes downward, “I wanted to know why you have dry blood on your face.”

“Oh,” he said quietly. “You wanted to know about that?”

She nodded, her eyes resting on his cheek.

“I had a fight with my friend,” Nick said. For the first time that day they heard the ocean water outside his house. “Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit. The water’s at the house. We need something to block the water from coming in underneath the door. This is not good at all,” he moaned. “Wait here, I’ll grab all the towels,” he yelled as he ran through the house.

Nick came back a few minutes later with both arms full of towels. “Can you take these and just stuff them as best you can under the crack in the door? Hopefully that will stop the water from getting in.” They heard the water rushing up against the house and crashing. “Go put the radio on first and see if there is any more of an update while I start on the towels,” Nick said.

Faith walked to the other side of the room, flipping on the little battery-operated radio and listening as the weatherman spoke.

“Hurricane Carol is now classified as Category 5. The local police are advising everyone in the Keys to evacuate as quickly and calmly as possible. Winds have reached over 100 miles per hour and waves are reportedly over 20 feet. Hurricane Carol is one angry woman. Stay with us for the…” And the battery died.

“Oh shit, Category 5? This is bad, Faith. This is really bad. What the hell were we thinking? Did we really think we could ride this storm out? We’re crazy. We’re… We’re just… shit,” he said, falling to his knees, breathing heavily.

“Nick?” Faith ran to his side, her hand running soothingly over his back. “Nick are you okay?”

His breathing slowly became normal and he looked up at her. “I’m sorry if I scared you, Faith. For a minute there I was so scared I passed out.” He bit his lip waiting for her response.

She hit him lightly on the shoulder. “Don’t get scared anymore. You scared me good though. Let’s get these towels under the door,” she said, taking a few from him.

Thank god she bought that. Control yourself Carter. If you can get through this, you can get through anything. Yeah, right. And if you believe that you’re insane.

“Nick, are you okay?” Faith asked, stuffing the last of the towels under the door.

“I’ll be fine. I really am sorry if I freaked you out.”

“It’s okay. Let’s just sit back on the couch and try to ignore everything outside,” Faith suggested.

“That’s a good idea, Faith,” Nick sighed. She helped him to the couch and watched as he fell into it. “So, you were saying? Seems like someone doesn’t want you to know where the blood came from,” Nick said. He tried to smile but it didn’t work.

“What were you and your friend fighting about?” Faith asked, her hand resting over his.

“It’s not important what we were fighting about. Before he left he said that he wanted me to remember what I had done so he wiped his blood on my face,” Nick said quietly. “When this storm is over and the phones are back up, I’m going to call him and apologize.”

“Why did you hurt him in the first place?” Faith asked.

“He was telling me things I didn’t want to hear. Then I got a headache. I couldn’t bear the pain anymore. He was so pissed when he left. I didn’t mean to hurt him, Faith. I swear I didn’t mean it.”

Faith bit her lip and moved closer to him. “I know you didn’t mean it Nick. Friends say things when they’re angry. I’m sure he’ll forgive you when you call.”

“No he won’t,” Nick said, his lower lip starting to tremble. “He told me not to come crawling back to him when I needed help. He just doesn’t understand how much help I need from him,” he barely managed to say.

She pulled his head down to her shoulder and held him while he cried. “I’m sure he knows how much you need him. He knows you’re in the house right? If he does, he must be worried about you.”

“He does,” Nick sniffed. “He knows I’m here.”

“Do you get those headaches a lot Nick?” Faith asked, not aware she was skating on thin ice with him.

“Don’t ask me that. I don’t want to talk about it. It’s not fair that it’s me that has it,” Nick cried.

“Has what Nick? If there’s anything I can do to…”

“Help me? I don’t need help from anyone. I just need to be left alone. Why can’t anyone understand that? First my mom, then Brian, now you. I want to be alone,” Nick yelled, jumping from the couch and heading towards his bedroom.

Faith was left on the couch, her head spinning from what just happened. “I don’t think so, Nick. You’re not getting off that easily,” she whispered as she made her way towards his bedroom.

Without knocking she walked into the room, her eyes widening when she found Nick. “I was hot,” he cried. His hair stood straight and his clothes were thrown around the room. He was sitting on the edge of his bed in his boxers.

“It’s okay to be hot. Why don’t you just put your pants back on and we can lay down?” she asked. Without arguing, he nodded. She handed him his pants and turned to give him a little privacy to slip them on. “Nick, are you okay?” She turned to find him sitting on the bed, his pants at his knees and his hands pressed tightly against his head. “Nick?”

“I’ll be okay once it passes,” he cried. His breathing was becoming rapid.

“Breathe easy, Nick. Can I get you something for your headache?” she asked cautiously. He shook his head. “Why not?”

“Because nothing will help. The doctor said so,” he cried out from the intense pain.

She knelt in front of them, both ignoring the intensity of the wind and rain outside. “Nick, please tell me what’s wrong. I really can’t stand to see you like this. Please, tell me.”

His eyes met hers and he smiled slightly. “It’s almost as hard to tell you as it was my friends and family.”

“Tell me what?” She pulled one of his hands from his head and held it in hers. “What’s hard to tell me Nick?”

“I haven’t told my brother and sisters yet. My mother and dad know though. How do you tell this to a 14 year old? Two 14 year olds? They’re twins. They won’t understand it Faith.”

“Understand what Nick? What are you trying to tell me?” she asked, afraid to find the answer.

“I’m sick, Faith. As in, really sick,” he choked back a sob.

“How sick?” she asked her grip on Nick’s hand tightening slightly.

“I have a tumor,” he answered. The pain in his eyes broke her heart. She already knew the answer to her next question.

“Where?”

He closed his eyes tight and felt the tears fall. The house rattled around them, then shook. They each ignored it. “In my head. On my brain. They can’t fix it. There’s nothing they can do for it,” Nick cried. “See, I’m sick and the doctors can’t fix it. I don’t understand why. They’re doctors. They’re supposed to fix everything.”

She ran her fingers through his hair and once her hand was resting on his neck, she pulled him down to the floor in front of her. “Sometimes there are things that just can’t be fixed,” she whispered. I’m sorry this happened to you Nick.

“I don’t want to die though,” he said, holding onto her, tightly. Somehow she managed to move them around until she was rested with her back against the bed.

“What did the doctor tell you after he told you what you had?” she asked, running her fingers through his hair. “Did he tell you…”

“How long? Yeah,” he nodded. “He said I had just six months left. Six months,” he repeated.

Just six months.

Chapter Seven

Faith took a deep breath and stared down at Nick. His arms were still wrapped around her waist as he started to calm down. “Nick?”

“Yeah?” He sniffled.

“Do you want to move up to the bed? It may be more comfortable up there?” Faith asked, hoping Nick would agree.

“Yeah,” he sighed, pulling himself away from her. He crawled into the bed, his pants still around his knees. “Will you stay in here too?”

“Sure. Let’s get you under the covers,” she said, pulling his pants off. She tugged at the blankets under his body before giving up. He was too heavy. She made her way to the closet and felt around until she found something soft. She pulled it down from the shelf, thankful it was a blanket. She walked over to the bed, finding Nick fast asleep.

Faith climbed into the bed and draped the blanket around the two of them. She made herself comfortable next to Nick, lying on her back, listening to the different sounds outside.

Even in his sleep, Nick sensed someone next to him. He rolled over, his hand seeking out hers. His head rested against her stomach.

He found comfort in his dreamless sleep in Faith’s arms.

Faith stayed awake, while he slept, in case of an emergency. If one of the boards came loose, if the water started to seep into the house, if something happened, one of them needed to be awake. It had to be her. She listened to Nick snore lightly against her stomach.

She ran her fingers through his hair, marveling at how soft it was. She listened as a large gust of wind whistled around the house, followed closely by water splashing. “Nick, what the hell are we going to do,” she whispered.

Some time passed before Nick stopped snoring. He blinked, trying to adjust his eyes to the darkness. “Faith?” he said softly.

He felt the fingers move in his hair and heard her respond, “yeah?”

“How long have I been sleeping?” he asked, sitting up, rubbing his forehead.

“I’m not really sure. It’s been at least two hours,” Faith answered. “Why don’t you lie back down? There’s nothing we can do until the storm is over anyway.”

Nick nodded, lowering his head to the pillow. He lay on his side, facing Faith. “Come here,” he whispered, pulling her closer to him. His arms circled her waist, and he held her hands in his. The blanket covered the two of them and the only sounds were the wind and waves from outside.

“A few hours ago we were fighting. I hated you when I walked up your stairs. I just came here to give you a piece of my mind,” Faith said quietly.

“You smacked me good,” he said, his breath tickling her ear. “Really good. My cheek stung, you know.”

“I’m sorry, Nick. I was just so… It’s hard to say what I was. I’m content with my life, you know. Down here, away from everything, it’s so peaceful and then you come knocking at my door a couple days ago. You brought back memories, Nick. A lot of painful memories.”

“It wasn’t me, Faith. I didn’t do anything back then. And, believe me when I say I know exactly how you must’ve felt. I didn’t have many friends because of my parents. My mother did it, actually. My dad let her do it. She’d pull me out of classes for auditions. The other kids laughed. They didn’t want to be my friend so they all made fun of me.”

“I’m sorry,” she said. She closed her eyes and she felt him hold her tighter. “I guess we both had it rough when we were kids?”

“I guess,” he said.

“How’s your headache?” Faith asked pulling the blanket up around them.

“Better,” Nick answered. He jumped after hearing the water crash against the house. “Wonder how much longer this will last,” he mumbled. “I’ll be right back.” Nick pulled the blanket off of him and threw his legs over the side of the bed. He felt the water around his feet. “Shit.”

“What?”

“Shit,” Nick mumbled again. “There’s about two inches of water in the house. It’s up to my ankles. I need to use the bathroom. When I come back I’ll figure out what to do.” He sloshed through the water and to the bathroom.

Faith climbed from the bed, shivering as the cold water hit her feet. She made her way into the living room. The towels that had been shoved under the door were scattered around the room. Her foot got tangled in one. “Faith? Where’d you go?”

“I’m in the living room. The towels aren’t under the door anymore.”

Faith heard Nick coming and felt the water splash up her legs as he got closer. “I should’ve known that a few towels wouldn’t keep water out. At least it’s only ankle deep and not knee deep, right?” he sighed.

“You have insurance right? Everything in here will be covered?” Nick nodded. He wrapped his arm around her shoulder and turned her back towards his room. “There is nothing that we can do until the storm lets up. I wish I had a radio or something. It shouldn’t be too much longer.”

“I know.”

The two of them sat on the edge of the bed, Nick’s feet dangling in the water. “I can’t believe this is happening. My best friend isn’t talking to me, my house is ruined and I’m dying. I’ll be dead in six months.” Nick swung his foot in the water. Right now this was the closest he’d get to sitting on the beach and watching the waves roll in.

Faith moved closer to him, her hand resting on his knee and her head on his shoulder. “You have to think positive Nick. Your best friend will talk to you again. I’m sure he’s worried sick about you. You said he knew you were staying during the storm. And everything in your house is replaceable. I’ll even help you redecorate if you’d like.”

Nick nodded, resting his head against hers. “And what about me dying? There’s nothing that can be changed about that.”

Her hand moved up to rest on his stomach, giving him a light squeeze. “No, there may not be anything that can be done to stop you from dying but you can’t let the fact that you are dying stop you from living.”

They sat that way for a long time. The only sound in the room was the water moving under Nick’s feet.

“I’ll be right back, Nick. I need to run to the bathroom.”

“Do you know where it is?” he asked, standing with her.

“No,” she smiled. “I will after you show me though.”

The two of them waded through the water to the back of his house. “Here’s the bathroom. I’ll wait out here so we can find our way back to the living room together.”

“Okay,” she said softly before walking into the bathroom. Nick leaned up against the wall and crossed his arms over his chest while he waited. Faith poked her head out once she was finished and found Nick’s hand. They walked into the living room, each of them sitting on the couch.

“You must be really tired Faith. Why don’t you get some sleep, I’ll stay awake, and if I need you for something I’ll wake you up? Deal?”

“Deal. I’ll go back into your room. I can find it,” she said, before making her way through the house. Nick heard the bed creek under her weight. He sat staring into the darkness around him. How much longer is this supposed to last? God, it’s unbearable.

He stood, needing to do something. He walked over to the door, pressing his ear to it. The wind didn’t sound as strong as it had an hour ago though the water was still crashing against the house. Maybe it’s letting up?

Nick sighed, walking back through the living room and plopping on his couch. Faith’s words played over and over in his mind. “No, there may not be anything that you can be done to stop you from dying but you can’t let the fact that you are dying stop you from living.” He thought about Faith sleeping in his bed and smiled.

Then he made his choice. Tomorrow, whenever the storm ended, he’d begin living again.

Chapter Eight

Faith rolled over in the bed and clutched the blankets around her. She couldn’t recall ever sleeping this peacefully, even if it had lasted only three hours. She stretched as she sat up, the blanket falling to her waist. “Nick?”

She heard no answer. “Nick?” she called, climbing from the bed and making her way to the bedroom door. “Nick, where are you?”

She walked through the door and towards the living room. She noticed the front door was opened. The sky was still gray but the hurricane was over. “Nick?”

“I’m on the porch,” he yelled back. Faith walked through the water and found Nick leaning against the porch rail.

“When did it stop?”

“About an hour ago. This is as far as I got. I don’t want to see the other side of the house. I have a bad feeling. Half the beach is on my porch as it is,” he sighed.

“Maybe the other side isn’t that bad?” Faith offered. They both knew that was far from the truth. They each heard the splintering sound.

“I’m going to see if I can figure out what that noise was before. You wait here. I’ll be right back,” Nick said, stumbling down the stairs.

“Okay.” Faith waited on the porch, watching the ocean. The water was rough, probably would be for a while. Faith noticed Nick out of the corner of her eye. “What happened?” she asked, noticing how pale his face was. “Nick? Are you feeling okay?”

He shook his head as he made his way back to her.

“Nick, what happened?”

“My truck,” he mumbled.

“Your truck what? What’s wrong with your truck? Nick?” Faith asked, looking at Nick.

“My truck flew into the house,” he mumbled again. “That was what we heard before. We searched the house, remember? It was my truck hitting the house.”

“You gonna be okay, Nick?” she asked.

He shook his head, making his way up the stairs. He walked passed her ignoring her on the porch.

“Nick?” She followed him into the house and sat as his side on the couch. “Nick say something, damn it.”

“What more is there to say? I need a new truck and probably a new house. I didn’t see if there was any damage though. I just saw my truck on its side against the house. I need to find a place to stay.”

“You can stay with me while you fix this place up. I’ll help you fix it up too, Nick.” Faith placed her hand on Nick’s arm and squeezed.

“There always has to be some sort of bright side to everything with you, huh?” Nick asked. “Always something positive?”

She shrugged. “Sure. If there wasn’t what would there be to live for?”

“I have nothing to live for, Faith. I’m all alone. None of my friends give a damn about me and now that I’m sick… They just don’t care,” he sighed.

“That’s not true and you know it. And you aren’t alone, Nick. I’m here with you.”

“Yeah, you’re here today. You’ll be gone tonight and I’ll never hear from you again. Am I right?”

“No, you’re not. Far from it. After we fix up your place a bit we’ll head down to mine. I’m sure mine is okay,” she said.

“How can you be sure?” he asked.

“I sandbagged mine. I did that this morning. Sand bags around the doors and my windows are taped and boarded. I’ve done this before, Nick. We didn’t have time to sand bag your house because the hurricane came too fast.”

“Oh,” he said softly. “So, I can stay with you until my place is redone?”

Faith smiled, nudging Nick with her elbow. “Unless you get a better offer, you can stay with me. Besides, we don’t hate each other right now, do we?”

“No, I guess we don’t,” he smiled.

“Then it’s settled. This time you’ll get through the front door,” she smiled.

Nick smiled, watching her walk away from him. “I’m going to get some clothes together, if that’s okay.”

“Whatever you want Nick. I’ll go outside and try to get some of the sand off the porch and the stairs. That way we don’t fall going down.” She found a pair of sandals sitting by the door. “Where can I find a broom?”

“I’ll get you one, hold on,” Nick said, splashing water as he ran towards the closet. He pulled out a large broom and brought it back to her. “You don’t have to do this, Faith.”

“Just go pack. I’ll take care of some of this,” Faith smiled, pushing him back towards his room.

She waited until he was in the room before she walked outside. She began with the top step and worked her way down to the bottom sweeping all the beach sand off the stairs. “Excuse me?”

Faith jumped, dropping the broom. She turned around, facing the man who startled her. “Who are you?”

“I should ask you the same thing. Who the hell are you and what are you doing at Nick’s house?” The short man squared his shoulders and looked into her eyes.

“I’m a friend of Nick’s and I’m helping him out. Your turn. Who the hell are you?” Faith asked, her arms crossed over her chest.

“I’m Nick’s best friend. I’m here to make sure he’s okay,” Brian said. He stared at the woman who was sweeping the stairs.

“You’re the one he hit with the frame,” Faith said.

“Yeah. I was at the hospital when the hurricane hit. They stitched me up and as soon as it was over I came. Is he okay?”

Faith nodded, picking up the broom to finish the steps.

“He’s fine. It was bad but we both survived. I’m Faith, by the way,” she said, extending her hand to Brian.

“Brian. I’m gonna go see him,” Brian walked passed Faith and into the house. “Nick?”

“In here. Brian?”

Brian followed his voice and ended up in the bedroom. He leaned against the doorpost watching Nick pack some clothes.

“What are you doing here Bri? I thought you pretty much wrote me off.”

“You really think I would’ve done that to you, Nick? During a hurricane?” Brian watched Nick carefully, waiting for an answer he wasn’t sure he’d get. “What’s with the girl?”

“Nothing with the girl,” Nick said. “I don’t want to get into it now. I need to stay with her for a few days.” Sensing Brian wasn’t leaving any time soon he turned around and faced him. He noticed the small band-aid on the top of Brian’s forehead. “I’m sorry about that Bri. I didn’t mean it.”

“You know I’ll forgive you,” Brian said softly. “Why are you staying with her for a few days?”

“My house is shit, Bri. She offered and I’m taking her up on her offer. Did you even realize you’re walking in water? There is water in my house. I don’t even want to know what the basement looks like. And, the wind was strong enough to push my truck against the house. There is probably some damage there.”

“And where does she live?” Brian asked.

“Just up the beach. Not too far from here,” Nick said, looking around the room to make sure he didn’t forget anything.

“And does she know you’re sick? Does she know what to do?”

“We talked about it last night. She insisted we talk. She wanted to know why I had your dried blood on my cheek. So I told her what happened with us and I told her what’s wrong with me. She didn’t freak out when I told her. She just held me,” he said with a shrug. “She held me and then we came in here and I slept.”

“Where did you meet her?” Brian asked, moving into the room and sitting on the bed.

“Well, we actually went to school together. But when it stormed a couple days ago I went to her place to see if I could get some shelter. I didn’t know she lived there.” Nick sat next to Brian on the bed.

“Is she nice?” he asked.

“Yeah,” Nick answered. “I like her. She doesn’t seem to take shit from anyone.”

“That’s what you need,” Brian said. “Someone who won’t take your shit.”

Faith knocked before walking in. “Nick I’m done with the porch and the stairs. Are you ready to go down to my place or do you want to wait a bit.”

“I’ll drive you guys down if the streets are clear,” Brian said softly. He grabbed one of Nick’s bags and headed out of the room.

“So, he forgave you?” Faith asked.

“Yeah. He’s a great guy. I’m lucky he’s my best friend,” Nick smiled. He grabbed his other bag and followed Faith out of his bedroom.

The three of them climbed into Brian’s car after they were sure the house was secure. Faith gave directions from the backseat and the drive that normally took fifteen minutes lasted thirty-five.

Brian pulled into Faith’s driveway, putting the car in park and looking over at Nick. “Just know I’m still here for you if you need me. I’m just a phone call away.” Nick nodded and climbed out the door. He opened the back door for Faith, helping her out of the car.

“Do you guys need help with the sandbags or anything?” Brian asked, climbing out of the car with them.

“No, we’ll be fine Bri.” Faith thanked him quietly for driving them to her house.

“Here, take this,” Brian handed her a small piece of paper with a number written on it. “Just in case Nick gets on your nerves give me a call. I’ll take him off your hands.”

Faith laughed, tucking the piece of paper in her pocket. “Thanks Brian. I’ll take good care of him, don’t worry about it.”

Faith watched Brian get back into his car and pull out of the driveway. With a smile on her face she made her way up around the back of her house to help Nick with the sandbags. Don’t worry at all, Brian.

Chapter Nine

A month later, Faith was helping Nick bring his things back to his house. “Is this all you had?” She asked, loading her car.

“Yeah. I didn’t have much,” he smiled.

After the hurricane it took Nick a few days to find a contractor that seemed trustworthy and would do what he said, for a good price. It took a month but the house was finished and he was finally going home. The foundation needed to be replaced, where the car hit the house. The first floor needed to be replaced. The basement was flooded and anything in it had to be replaced.

It was a mess. And now it was done. He was going home. He was going to sleep in his own bed. He was going to clean his own house.

He was going to miss Faith.

“Penny for your thoughts,” she asked as they turned out of her driveway.

“I’m not thinking anything.” He bit his lip as they drove further away from her house and closer to his. “Well, I guess I’m trying to figure out how I’m going to make this up to you. You let me stay with you for a month. Not many people could deal with me for that long.”

“You were a piece of cake,” she smiled. They rode the rest of the way in silence. When they reached Nick’s house he quietly stepped from the car, his bags in tow, and looked up at his house. Home sweet home.

“I’ll see you around Nick,” Faith yelled, putting the car in reverse and backing out of the driveway.

“Faith, wait. Come in for a minute. It’s the least I can do.” Faith hesitated. Should she or shouldn’t she? Slowly she nodded. She pulled the car back into the driveway, putting it in park and climbing out.

“Let’s go inside,” he said.

Faith followed him inside. She watched as he moved around his refurbished house, making sure everything was in order.

“Do you want to order something or go out to eat?”

“Whatever you want to do, Nick.”

He walked back into the room with a smile on his face. “I am taking you out to dinner. Do you have a favorite restaurant?”

“Yeah, the Hideaway Café. Good food and it overlooks the ocean. Whenever I need to think I take a ride over there and sit at my favorite table.”

Nick nodded. “Well, let’s go. I’m taking you to the Hideaway Café.” Nick grabbed her hand, pulling her out of the house. “So, I’ll drive, you tell me how to get there.”

Nick snagged the keys from Faith. He opened the door for her with a smile on his face.

“You’re in a good mood, aren’t you?”

“You bet.” He started the car and they were off. Faith directed Nick through the shortcuts and within no time they were pulling into the parking lot. “Your table looks out over the ocean, right?”

“Of course. I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

They were led to her favorite table. “Woah, now this is a view,” Nick watched the water slowly roll up the sand before rolling back into the ocean. “It’s just incredible.”

“You can say that again. That’s why I like this table. It’s perfect,” Faith sighed.

The waiter came over and took their orders, promising appetizers in a few minutes.

“Thank you for putting up with me for the last month. I appreciate it. Not many people would’ve done that. Brian would’ve let me stay but it’s not the same. We get on each other’s nerves when we’re around each other for too long.” Nick didn’t realize what he was doing. He reached across the table and took her hand. “Thank you.”

Faith realized what he was doing. She looked at their hands before looking up at Nick. “It’s no problem, Nick.”

She noticed the way he looked at her. There was a hint of desire in his eyes but underneath the desire there was also something else. She shook her head. She didn’t want to think about that. Nick’s a friend. That was all he could be.

“Earth to Faith. Where did you go?” he smiled.

“Just thinking.” She stared out the window, unable to take the look in his eyes. She was well aware of his thumb caressing the palm of her hand.

“Do you come here a lot to think?”

She nodded, still watching the water.

“Are you gonna look at me?”

Faith looked down at their hands and up to meet Nick’s eyes.

“So why are trying to avoid looking me in the eyes?”

“No reason,” she said softly.

Nick found himself watching her every move. From the moment she helped him load the car until now sitting across from her in her favorite restaurant, she took his breath away. “You know what Faith,” he said after the waiter left their appetizers.

“What?”

Nick played with his soup while he tried to come up with an answer that wouldn’t embarrass him. “Well,” he shrugged, “I guess I’m gonna miss having you around all the time. I got used to waking up and having you there.”

“Nick…”

“Hear me out, okay.” Nick waited until she gave a little nod before he continued. “This past month has been great. We went from pretty much being enemies to becoming really good friends. I like spending time with you and I want to spend more time with you.”

“Nick, I…”

“Please don’t tell me you don’t want to spend anymore time with me. I can see it in your eyes, Faith. You’re just as lost and confused with this as I am.”

Faith took a deep breath removing her hand from Nick’s. “It’s not that I don’t want to spend time with you, Nick. You’re a great guy. It’s just…”

“It’s just that I can’t promise to love you for the rest of your life. I can’t commit to anything that could possibly last more than five months.” Nick dropped the spoon in his soup refusing to meet her eyes.

“Nick, it’s not…”

“It’s not that? It’s not that I can’t offer you a future? If it’s not that, then what is it?” he asked, his jaw clenched but his voice low. She didn’t know what to say. He hit the nail on the head. He snatched his napkin from his lap and threw it on the table. “Obviously I’m right. I was only taking your advice, Faith. I’m only trying to live for today, just like you said. You’re the one who told me that there may not be anything that can be done to stop me from dying but I can’t let the fact that I am dying stop me from living.”

Faith stared at him. She wanted to reach out and pull him into her arms and assure him that everything would be okay, that everything would work out in the end. But she knew that was a lie. “Nick…”

“I need to take a walk,” he said, pushing himself away from the table. Faith watched him as he weaved his way through the tables and out the front door. She knew it would be a matter of seconds before she’d see him on the beach.

She watched as he walked down the beach, sitting when he felt he was far enough away. He sat with his chin resting on his knee. He wrapped his arms around his legs and began rocking.

Faith called their waiter over explaining that she needed to leave. She assured him they’d be back. On good faith, he allowed her to leave the restaurant.

She ran up the beach until she was close enough to hear Nick’s light sobs. “Nick,” she said softly, squatting besides him. She lay her hand on his arm. “Nick, talk to me.”

“Get away from me,” he yelled pushing her away from him. She landed in the sand and stared at him with mild disbelief. “I have nothing to say to you.”

“I have something to say to you, Nick, and you’re gonna listen to me.” Faith crawled in the sand until she was sitting next to him. “I’m scared. What you said in the restaurant was only half-right. I’m just scared, Nick.”

“And you think I’m not scared,” he said. He wiped the tear that fell before turning to look at her. “Just imagine how scared I am, Faith. I have this tumor that’s eating away at my brain cells and there is nothing that can be done to stop it. Surgery is too risky and radiation treatments won’t work. I’m scared that I’ll wake up tomorrow and its grown so much I won’t remember who I am or what I’ve done or how to talk or walk. You know what scares me most of all, Faith?”

She moved closer to him. “What?” She softly asked.

“I’m scared I’m gonna die alone.”

Faith allowed his words to sink in. “I won’t let you die alone Nick,” she said, her lower lip trembling. “You may not believe me but I do care about you.”

Nick snorted. “You can’t possibly care about me, Faith. I’m damaged goods.” Fresh tears started once again.

Faith moved closer to him, wrapping her arms around his neck. “You’re not damaged goods, Nick,” she whispered. “Look at me,” she demanded. She waited until he picked his head up to smile. She ran her fingers through his hair, her forehead pressing against his. “You are not damaged goods, Nick,” she repeated.

Their eyes met and he couldn’t help but smile. “I’m not damaged goods?”

“No, you’re not,” she said, her fingers playing with the hair on the back of his neck. They stared for another moment before she leaned closer to him. “Not damaged at all,” she whispered before their soft lips met. He felt her tongue trace his lips and opened his mouth. He’d waited a month for this, he was going to do it right. It lasted forever and it was over too soon.

Nick pulled away from Faith, his eyes searching hers for regret. “Faith, are you sure about this? We’re both scared here.”

“I don’t know about you, but I’m sure,” Faith smiled. “I’m sure I want to spend time with you, get to know you, learn to love you.”

She wiped the tears from his face, smiling when he turned quickly and kissed the palm of her hand.

“I’m sure I want that stuff too, Faith.”

She stood, helping Nick stand once she was on her feet.

“I’m sorry I ran out on you in there. There was just too much going on at once and I couldn’t handle it.”

“It’s okay, Nick. I understand.”

Nick stopped walking and looked down at Faith. He bent down pressing his lips against hers. “Thank you for giving me the chance, Faith. I promise I won’t let you down.”

Chapter Ten

“And where did she sleep?” AJ asked, his eyebrow raised.

“In my bed,” Nick smiled. He was shaking his bottle of water nervously in his hand.

“And where did you sleep?” he asked, a large smile on his face.

“On the couch, AJ. Sorry if I disappointed you in any way.” Nick laughed at the expression on his face. “Seriously, AJ, it’s only been a week for me and Faith. I’m taking things slow with her. She’s different.”

“She’s not putting out then, huh?” AJ asked taking a sip of his water.

“No, she’s not,” he pouted. “Even if she did put out, I wouldn’t take advantage of her. I’m going to wait,” Nick smiled. “She’s different.”

“If you say so. When do we get to meet her?” AJ asked. “Is she coming over for the barbecue?”

“Yeah, she should be here soon. She said she was bringing different salads and soda. She’s looking forward to meeting everyone.” AJ nodded his smile growing wider.

“You’ve got it bad already, don’t you? You’ve fallen hard for this chick,” AJ laughed.

“And? You’ve got Sarah, why can’t I have someone?” he pouted, then quickly smiled.

AJ walked over to where Nick was sitting and stood behind him. He lay his hands on Nick’s shoulders and squeezed slightly.

“I never said you shouldn’t have someone. It just happened at a bad time, don’t you think? You meet the girl of your dreams and…” AJ’s voice trailed off, not wanting to say what was on his mind.

“And I’m gonna die soon. She makes me forget about that, J. When I’m with her I forget about everything. That’s how I want things to be. That’s how I want today to be. I don’t want to think about it. I have less than five months. I don’t want today to be about that. I want today to be about you guys getting to know Faith.”

AJ leaned down until he was cheek to cheek with Nick. “Sorry to bring it up bro. We’ll get to know her today.” He kissed Nick on the cheek, mumbling, “and I’m sure we’ll all love her.”

“Should I be worried?” Faith asked, walking in on AJ kissing Nick. “I can leave you two alone if you’d like.”

“Funny Faith. You know you’re the only one for me,” Nick said, pushing AJ off him and walking to her. “Let me take something.” He leaned down, gave her a quick kiss and took a few bags from her arms.

“Thanks Nick.” Faith placed the bags on the table. “I’m Faith,” she said softly, extending her hand to AJ. “You must be AJ.”

AJ took her hand and smiled, “Why must I be AJ?”

“Tattoos. Nick told me you have more tattoos than he does,” Faith said.

“And he’s right about that. I think at last count it was in the 20s. Why don’t you and I take a walk on the beach so I can spill some of Nick’s biggest secrets? How does that sound?” AJ asked.

“Sounds nice.” Faith turned to Nick and wrapped her arms around his waist. “I’m going to the beach with AJ. I’m gonna find out all your dark and dirty secrets now. We’ll be back soon.” Faith stood on her toes and kissed Nick’s nose. “We’ll be right back.”

Once Faith was out of ear shot Nick grabbed AJ by the arm. “What are you doing AJ? Whatever you do, please don’t embarrass me. I really like this girl.”

“I’m just getting to know her, Nicky. You want today to be getting to know her day and that’s what I’m doing. We’re going to sit on your beach and talk. We’ll probably talk about you, but at least we’re talking,” AJ said, leaving a very stressed Nick in the kitchen.

“Hey, Faith, why don’t you and I take a walk to the shore,” AJ said, grabbing her hand and walking towards the door with her. “I promise I don’t bite. I may look like bad boy but I’m really not. And that’s a secret between the two of us, okay? I don’t want that leaked out anywhere.”

“No problem,” she smiled. “Is there something in particular you want to talk to me about?”

AJ led her down the stairs and folded his arms over his chest.

“Did I do something wrong?” Faith bit her lip waiting for AJ’s answer.

“No, you didn’t do anything wrong,” he chuckled. “Actually it’s quite the opposite.” He waited until he was sure they were out of earshot and no one would hear him. “Nick really likes you, Faith. I’ve known him since he was 12. I’ve never seen him like this before.”

“I really like him too, AJ. I’m not sure I understand why you brought me out here though,” she said, staring out at the water.

“He’s genuinely happy with you. The smile on his face isn’t forced or phony. It’s real. It’s been a long time since his smile was this sincere. And it’s because of you.”

“I still don’t…”

“I want to make sure you’re in this for the long run. He told me you know about his tumor and that he has five months left to live. Things may get harder as his time grows shorter. I want to make sure you understand that.”

“I see. You think I’ll run when things get bad. Is that what you think?” she asked, looking up at him.

“Well, yeah. All I need from you is your word that you’ll stand by his side every day no matter how tough it may be and I’ll believe you.” AJ stared at her.

She stared back. She was insulted but tried to not let that show. “You have my word, AJ, that no matter how hard it gets I’ll stand by him. I am in this for the long run. You have nothing to worry about.”

He exhaled a breath he wasn’t aware he was holding. “Thank you. He’s the closest thing to a little brother that I’ve ever had and it hurts to know that in just a few months I’m gonna lose him. All I want is for him to be happy and with the way his face lights up when he talks about you… he’s happy with you. Thank you.”

“Thank you AJ. I want nothing more than to make his last few months easy and it helps when his friends are on my side.”

“Well, you’ve already won Brian over. You got him on your side. All you need to do is convince Kevin. Kevin’s our big brother, always looking out for us. I think he’s taking this harder than Nick because there’s nothing he can do to fix it.” AJ sighed thinking back to Kevin’s reaction of the news. “I’m sure Kevin will love you. Once he sees you with Nick he won’t be able to deny it.”

Faith smiled. “Are we ready to head back? I feel the need to give him a big hug.”

“Yeah, let’s head back. He thinks I’m down here giving you dirt on him. Do me a favor, okay?” She nodded. “When you get up there and give him a hug whisper in his ear that I told you about the sock.”

“The sock?” AJ laughed at her expression. “Is the sock supposed to mean something to him?”

“You’ll get a reaction out of him,” AJ laughed. “Trust me. Just whisper in his ear that I told you about the sock.”

“Okay,” she sighed. “The sock?”

Nick was waiting patiently on the porch step with Brian and Howie at his side.

Faith was introduced to Howie, who smiled politely at her. “Come with me,” she said, grabbing Nick’s hand. She pulled him to the other end of the porch and wrapped her arms around his waist. “I hope your friend doesn’t think I’m rude. I just wanted to hug you.”

“D wouldn’t think you’re rude. When we get back over there tell him his hair looks good. He’ll love you for the rest of your life,” Nick chuckled. Faith ran her hands though his hair pulling his head down to meet hers. She kissed his cheek lightly and whispered, “AJ told me about the sock.”

She felt him stiffen slightly and pull away from her. “He didn’t?”

She shrugged, “He did.” She walked away to join the rest of the group standing near the door.

“AJ,” Nick whined, “You know damn well that it wasn’t me. It was Brian. Why would you tell her something like that?”

“To embarrass you?” he smiled. He couldn’t resist laughing at the expression on Nick’s face. “Why lie, man? You know it was your idea, you know you’re the one who did it. Stop putting the blame on Brian.”

“Yeah, stop putting the blame on me,” Brian added. “It was all you, little bro.” Brian put his arm around Faith’s shoulder. “Did AJ even tell you what we’re talking about?” he whispered in her ear.

“Nope,” she whispered back.

“I like you. Let’s go get some food ready while Nick whines to AJ some more.” Brian and Faith turned towards the house. “Later Nick.”

After the door shut, Nick charged across the porch and glared at AJ. “Thanks a lot. Now she’ll think I’m completely immature.”

“Well, you were when you did that,” he laughed. Howie bit his lip to try to stop himself from smiling but it didn’t work.

“Today was supposed to be fun, J. It wasn’t supposed to be an embarrass Nick day,” he pouted. He leaned against the rail running his fingers through his hair. “Every time we have one of this little get togethers it turns into an embarrass Nick party. She probably thinks I’m sick now.”

“Dude, lighten up. I didn’t tell her what you did. I just told her to whisper in your ear that she knew. I thought it would be fun. I’m sorry, Nick.” AJ leaned on the rail next to him, watching Kevin’s wife walked toward them… alone. “Where’s Kev?”

“He ran out to get something. He dropped me off. He’ll be back in a few minutes,” she said, leaning down and giving Nick a kiss. She gave AJ and Howie a quick kiss before leaving the three of them on the porch alone. “Nick?”

“Kevin’s not coming, is he?” he sighed.

“I’m sure he’ll be here. He’s not going to leave Kris here alone,” Howie tried to reassure Nick. “He could’ve just went to the store to pick up some more soda or something. You never know.”

“You saw how he reacted when I told him, D. He hasn’t talked to me since that day. He hasn’t made any attempt to call me to see how I’m doing. He didn’t even call after the hurricane to see if I was still alive.”

“You called to invite him to this, didn’t you? That’s something.”

“I didn’t talk to him, I talked to their machine. I had to leave him a message because he didn’t pick up. And now he’s not here. He’s not coming. You know how meticulous he is. He wouldn’t forget anything. That’s just how he is.”

“At least the rest of us are here,” Howie offered. “Lee would’ve been here but she’s visiting her family.”

“Yeah, Sarah would’ve been here but she had a meeting she couldn’t miss. She’s up in Miami though. She has directions and she’ll call me if she gets out early enough.”

“It’s not the same without Kev though,” Nick said softly.

“You think we should go inside and find out what your girl is up to. You are aware you left her alone with Leigh, Kris and Brian. You know Brian…”

Howie didn’t have a chance to finish. Nick ran in the house to find the three girls looking through a photo album. “Where did you get that?”

“Brian took it out of the closet. Why haven’t you shown me any of these before?” Faith smiled. Leighanne shifted on the couch giving Nick room to sit besides Faith. “These are just too adorable. You were just the cutest,” Faith gushed.

Nick’s cheeks turned a bright shade of red. Today was not turning out the way he wanted.

Chapter Eleven

Nick tried stifling his yawn but Brian caught him. “Tired?”

“Just a little,” he smiled. Howie and AJ had left an hour earlier. They were meeting up with Sarah in Miami and spending the night in her hotel room. Brian and Leighanne were taking one of the upstairs guestrooms. Kristen was checking her watch, waiting for Kevin. “Do you want to call him, Kris? If he doesn’t come to get you, you can stay here. There’s a room for you if you’d like.”

“I’m sorry, Nick. I just don’t know what happened with him. He told me he’d be here hours ago,” Kristen said, trying to apologize to Nick.

“Don’t apologize for him. I’m glad you came. I just wish he would’ve come,” Nick sighed, his eyes blinking rapidly. He could feel his eyes begin to water. “Excuse me,” he mumbled before leaving the room.

Faith jumped when she heard his bedroom door slam shut.

“Let’s give him a minute and then I’ll go talk to him,” Brian offered. “Kris, why isn’t Kevin here?”

She took a deep breath, glancing at her watch once again. “I honestly don’t know. He was looking forward to it, kept talking about it all week.” Kristen closed her eyes and took another breath. “He wanted to meet Faith and talk to her. He never told me he wasn’t coming.”

Almost on cue her phone rang. She checked the caller ID and let Brian know it was Kevin before she picked up. “Hey baby, where are you?”

“Outside. You ready to go?” He asked, a slight edge to his voice.

“Actually Nick said we could stay the night if we wanted. Would you rather do that? That way we don’t have to drive all night.”

“I want to go home,” Kevin said.

Kris shook her head at Brian, who was motioning for the phone. He wanted to talk to Kevin.

“Faith, why don’t you go lie with Nick? Just hold him for a bit. I’ll be there in a minute,” Brian smiled. He didn’t want her in the room when he spoke with his cousin. He watched her walk quietly to Nick’s door and knock once before entering. When the door closed behind her, Brian brought the phone up to his ear. “What the hell is wrong with you?”

“Brian?”

“Yeah, it’s Brian. Why the hell didn’t you show up today? You know what today meant to him,” Brian said, his jaw clenched. “Where are you?”

“I’m outside. I’m just here to pick up Kris and we’re leaving,” Kevin said. He tried to hide it but Brian heard Kevin’s voice crack.

“I’ll be right there then,” he said, flipping the phone shut. “You guys wait here, I’m going to talk to him.”

Leighanne and Kristen both exchanged glances after Brian left the house. Oh shit.

Brian walked around to the front of the house and found Kevin sitting in his car. His head leaned on the steering wheel while he waited.

Brian knocked on the window of the passenger’s side.

Kevin unlocked the door and waited. He knew everyone was angry with him for skipping out on the party. He just couldn’t…

“Why didn’t you come today?” Brian asked, not bothering to look at his cousin. “And I want the truth. Do not give me some half-assed story about forgetting a bottle of soda either. You didn’t go because you couldn’t face Nick, is that right?” Brian finally looked at his cousin, his anger dissipating slightly. “Why don’t you just tell him how you feel?”

Kevin swallowed the lump in his throat. He looked up at Nick’s house wondering what was going on inside.

“He thinks you don’t care, Kev.”

Kevin jerked his gaze away from the house and to his cousin. “He what? He thinks I don’t care?”

“That’s right,” Brian said. “He excused himself and went to bed upset because you didn’t come today. He’s upset you didn’t come today.”

“Oh shit,” Kevin sighed. “I didn’t want him to think that. It’s just…” Kevin slammed his hand down on the wheel. “I just feel so helpless.”

“We all do, Kev. Look, you heard Kris. Nick offered her a room here. I’m sure he’d extend that invite to you if he knew you were sitting out here. Why don’t you go in, get some sleep and talk to him in the morning? He needs you, Kev.”

Kevin thought about it for a few minutes before reaching for the key and shutting the car off. “Okay. I want to wait until the morning though.”

“Then wait until the morning. Do me a favor though. Do not get up early and leave with Kristen before you had a chance to talk to him. He needs to hear from you that you love him. That’s all he wants. That and the occasional hug. It’s not that hard to do, Kevin.”

Brian climbed from the car and leaned on the hood waiting for Kevin to make his decision. Five minutes passed slowly before he stepped from the car. “Bring me to Kris and show me the room. I need to get some sleep,” Kevin said. As he followed Brian around the house he couldn’t resist rubbing his eyes.

Brian held the door for his cousin, signaling the women not to say anything when they saw Kevin. “Let’s go to the rooms.” Brian took Leighanne’s hand, Kevin took Kristen’s, and the four of them quietly made their way up the stairs. Brian showed Kevin to their room before he walked Leighanne to theirs.

“What was his deal?” she asked once the door was closed behind them and the two started undressing.

“He’s just as scared as everyone else, just not handling it very well.”

She climbed into the bed holding the blankets back for Brian. “None of us are handling this well at all.”

He kissed his wife’s forehead and pulled her into his arms. “Do me a favor and smack me if I start acting that way towards Nick. It’s not about us, it’s about him.”

“You won’t start acting like that, Brian. I know you well enough to know that,” she sighed. “Let’s just get some sleep, okay? If you want to talk about it more, we can talk in the morning.”

Brian nodded, closing his eyes. Sleep was the furthest thing from his mind.

Faith walked quietly into Nick’s room to find him clutching a pillow. “Please just go away. Leave me alone,” Nick cried.

“I’m not leaving you Nick. Not now, not in two months and not in five months. Wherever you go, I go. However you feel, I feel. And it hurts me to see you like this,” she said, climbing into the bed. She pried the pillow out of his grip and moved into his arms.

“I don’t understand Kevin. Why is he being like this? It’s almost like he doesn’t care,” Nick cried burying his face in her hair. Her hands ran over his back, her fingers gently running over his soft skin.

“I wish I had an answer for you, Nick. I’m sure Kevin cares. He probably doesn’t know how to handle the fact that he’ll lose you in a few months. Everyone handles their grief differently, Nick.”

Nick pushed Faith onto her back. He leaned his head against her chest.

“I know it hurts when someone you care about does something like this. I wish there I was something I could do to help you.” Her fingers ran through his hair, playing with one strand that wouldn’t stay flat.

“You’re doing exactly what I need you to do, Faith. Just hold me, okay?”

She kissed Nick’s temple and wished him a good night’s sleep.

Kevin was the first one up the next morning. Maybe it was because he couldn’t sleep the night before. He decided to creep down into the kitchen and make breakfast for everyone. Thankfully Nick had a loaf of bread and some eggs, and hell, he even had bacon. It was the guilt that made him cook. He used the entire loaf of bread to make French toast for everyone. Water was boiling in the teapot, coffee was brewing in the coffeemaker, and bacon was sizzling in the frying pan. Just how it should be.

Kevin sighed as he glanced at the clock on the wall. 5:30 am. He had enough food to feed an army and no one would be up for hours. Good. I have time to look for something. Kevin put all the food on the table and grabbed one of Nick’s light jackets from the closet. He made his way around the house and to the car where his books and notes were scattered over the back seat. How Brian missed all this last night, I’ll NEVER know. He’s not as smart as everyone things.

With a smile Kevin grabbed his books and notes and carried them all back into the house. He dropped everything on the couch before closing the door. He grabbed a pencil from Nick’s countertop and went to work. He went to his book-marked page and started reading, taking notes as he read. He sighed when he couldn’t find anything that he wanted to.

He moved onto the next book with a glimmer of hope. There has to be SOMETHING in one of these books that can help Nick. He can’t give up without a fight. I won’t let him give up without a fight.

“Kevin?”

Kevin jumped from the couch, the pencil flying across the room and nailing Nick in the shoulder. “You scared the shit out of me Nick. It’s almost 6, what the hell are you doing up?”

“It’s almost 6, why the hell is there French toast, eggs, bacon, coffee and tea on my kitchen table? And what the hell are you doing here? When the hell did you get here? What’s with the books? Are you going back to school or something? Where’s Kristen? Why weren’t you here yesterday? Why haven’t…”

“Nick, take a breath. What’s with the 20 questions?” Kevin asked, picking up one of the books and putting on the coffee table.

“Tell me what you’re doing here. You weren’t here yesterday and you weren’t here when I went to bed last night,” Nick said, wearily walking towards him.

“Brian came out to talk to me when I came to get Kris last night. He convinced me to stay so I can talk to you in the morning. I didn’t think morning would come this fast though,” Kevin said, trying to move his notes away from Nick’s gaze. It was too late though. Nick saw them.

“What’s this?” he asked grabbing the notebook before Kevin could. “Have you been reading up on me? On what I have?” Kevin lowered his gaze to the table, nodding his head slowly. “Why?”

“So I can understand what you’re going through. I was hoping to find something in one of these books, some kind of procedure that would help you. There has to be some surgery that can be done or some sort of chemo or radiation treatment. There has to be something, Nick. I’ve been looking all over the place for something that can be done. Every day I’m either at the library or searching on line for something.” Kevin took his notes back from Nick and finally looked at him.

He was standing near Kevin wearing a white T-shirt and a pair of black boxers. He realized Kevin was in denial. His eyes grew bright as he stared down at Kevin. “I’m sure there is something in one of these books. Maybe there’s some medicine you can take? You never know until you look, right?”

Tears slowly fell from Nick’s eyes. Now he understood why Kevin wasn’t here. He was hovering over these books in some corner trying to find a cure for him. “Kev?”

“Hold on, Nick. There is something in one of these books…” Kevin said, flipping the pages slowly.

Nick finally sat next to Kevin on the couch. He put his hands over the older man’s forcing him to stop turning the pages. “Kev?” his voice croaked.

Kevin’s eyes filled with tears. “Give me one more minute Nick, there has to be something here.”

“Kevin, please stop looking.” Nick choked back a sob. He couldn’t get Kevin to listen to him.

“If I stop looking, you’ll die. You can’t die, Nick. I won’t allow that,” Kevin sighed, pulling the book away from him.

“Kevin, please believe me there is nothing in those books that will help. The doctors searched through everything and they came up with nothing. Kevin, either way I’m dying. Please stop looking.”

“If I stop you’ll die. You’re not allowed to die before me, Nick.”

“I can’t change that Kev. Nothing can be done to change it. Believe me I would if I could. Please put the books and notes away. Please do that for me,” Nick pleaded. He hoped he was getting through to Kevin.

“If I can’t help you what good am I?”

“What?”

“What good am I to you if I can’t help you? You always come to me with your problems and I always fix it. But I can’t fix this one. I want to fix it Nick, more than anything, but I can’t. This problem is too big for me. You don’t deserve this shit, Nick.” Kevin began crying openly. “I can’t handle knowing that you’re this sick. I need to be the one to fix this.”

“Kev, do you think this is easy for me? Do you think I like knowing that I’m dying? I have a tumor on my brain and the faster you accept that the faster you’ll be able to cope with it. There is nothing you can do to help me. Can’t you understand that?”

Kevin shook his head, “No. There has to be something I can do.”

“You know what you can do then?” Nick asked finally able to pry Kevin’s hands from the books. “There is just one thing you can do for me.”

“What’s that?” Kevin asked trying to compose himself.

With his lower lip trembling and his eyes watering, he simply said, “just hold me.”

Both of them were crying openly when Kevin took Nick in his arms. “I wish I could tell you it’ll be okay.” Nick nodded. I wish you could tell me that too.

Chapter Twelve

“Are we cool now?” Nick asked quietly. They both knew everyone else was up but they refused to disturb them. “You’re not going to keep looking are you?”

Kevin slowly shook his head, considering his words carefully. “I’ll stop looking if that’s what you want. I wanted to do something that would make you look up to me. I figured if I could outdo the doctors you’d respect me.”

“I respect you no matter what, Kev. You’re my big bro. I do things to piss you off all the time but you know it’s because I love you. I just keep trying to keep you on your toes.”

“You do a good job at that too,” Kevin smiled. “I think everyone is avoiding us.”

“I think you’re right.” Kevin ruffled Nick’s hair before taking a deep breath and standing. “I have someone for you to meet. That is, if she’s awake.”

“If not, I can wait.” They walked towards the door together. Before walking through Kevin stopped him. “I’m sorry I haven’t been here for you for that past month. That’s gonna change. I love you, Nick.”

“I love you too, Kev,” he said, drawing Kevin into a hug.

“I love you both,” Brian said putting an arm around each of their shoulders. “Now get in the kitchen because the food’s almost gone.”

“Almost gone? What the hell do you mean it’s almost gone? I made enough to feed us times five.”

“I know, I know,” Brian shook his head. “It was Leigh. She was hungry. Probably had about six pieces of French toast alone…. OUCH… No need to hit me,” he turned to her.

“The four of us were hungry,” Kristen added. “And if I recall, it was you, Brian, that had eight pieces of French toast. You also had more than half the bacon.”

“I’m a growing boy, what can I say?” Brian shrugged.

Kevin looked at Nick, the smile on his face growing as he watched Faith. Kevin knew that for the time being, Nick would be okay.

~~~

Three weeks later Faith all but moved in with Nick. Brian had invited Nick and Faith to their home for a long weekend. Leighanne and Faith were shopping, leaving the two guys to fend for themselves at the house.

“How are things going with you two?” Brian asked, taking a bite of his sandwich.

“Things are going great. I think I love her,” Nick said quietly. “She’s changed my life, Bri, and I mean that in a good way.”

“I know you do.” Nick pushed his sandwich around on his plate.

“What are you thinking about? You have something on your mind,” Brian said, peeling the crust off the second half of his sandwich.

“You’ll think I’m nuts for even considering it,” Nick said, his eyes meeting Brian’s. “You will seriously think I’m nuts, Brian.” Nick’s tried to hide his smile but he couldn’t. “I feel crazy for thinking about it.”

“What are you hiding Nick? What could you possibly be hiding from me?” Brian asked, amused with the expression on Nick’s face.

“Can we finish and go into the living room? I want you to be comfortable when I tell you what’s going on in my head,” Nick smiled.

“Good news?” Brian asked, tossing his plate in the sink.

Nick handed him his, each of them grabbing their sodas and walking into the living room.

“Depends on how you see things,” Nick mumbled following Brian into the room. “So, sit and I’ll tell you. But it stays between us. Is that cool?”

“So I’m finding something out that Faith doesn’t know, huh?” Brian sighed, “I suppose I can keep this between us if it means that much to you.”

“It does.” Nick waited until Brian sat before he started. “I’ve decided to ask Faith to marry me.” He waited for Brian’s response. When he got nothing but a wide-eyed blank look from Brian he continued. “I’ve thought about this, a lot, and it just seems so right. I know we’ve only known each other for almost two months, but people have gotten married after knowing each other after a week.”

He waited again for any sort of response and still didn’t get one. “Say something.”

“Okay,” Brian nodded. He thought for a moment before he spoke. “Are you sure marriage is something she wants? You’ve only been dating for a month. Are you sure this is what you want?”

“I’m sure it’s what I want. I hope it’s what she wants. She practically lives with me anyhow. We share my bed but we’ve never… you know… We haven’t done that yet but we will. I love her, I know I love her, and I know she loves me. I want to die knowing that she was mine.”

“Married or not you know she’s yours,” Brian said, resting his hand on Nick’s leg.

“I want to marry her,” Nick said sternly. “When we get back to Florida, I’m going to do it.”

“Well, good luck,” Brian smiled. “And I better be invited to the wedding.”

“You know you’ll be invited. Who do you think my best man’s gonna be? I need someone to stand up for us,” Nick smiled. “So, if she says yes will you be my best man?”

“Like you have to ask twice.” Brian took Nick in his arms and gave him a hug. “I’ll be there when you tell me to be there.”

I just hope she says yes.

Chapter Thirteen

“Nick, what the hell is wrong with you? You haven’t stopped smiling since we left Brian and Leighanne’s house. Care to let me in on your secret?” Faith asked, unpacking her clothes.

“Maybe tonight,” he answered, leaving his bag on the bed and walking out of the room. “Do you want pizza for dinner? I can order up a pie or something,” he yelled from the kitchen. “There’s nothing to eat here.”

“Whatever you want,” she yelled back.

Nick patted his pocket. For the past two days he had the ring in his pocket but wanted to do it right. Wanted to do it tonight. He ordered the pizza and plopped down on the couch in the living room waiting for her to join him. “After the pizza do you want to take a ride on my boat? It’ll be fun.”

“Sure,” she said, cuddling next to Nick. “Can you steer it at night?”

He chuckled, “Sure, I can steer it when I want. I own it.”

“You know what I mean. Does it have headlights or something?” She asked sheepishly.

“There’s radar on the boat,” he laughed. “We won’t go far out. Just far enough so we can have all the privacy in the world. I need to talk to you about something.”

“Oh, sounds serious,” she said, pushing away from him. She saw the look in his eyes, “and looks serious too.”

“Very serious,” he mumbled, climbing from the couch and heading towards the bathroom. “I’ll be right back.” After he shut the door he stared at himself in the mirror. I can do this. I’ve asked her other questions. How are you? Do you want pizza? Will you marry me?

He watched his reflection in the mirror as he mouthed the words over and over. Will you marry me?

“Nick, pizza’s here.” She brought the pizza into the kitchen dropping a slice on a paper plate for Nick. They ate in silence, Nick unable to look up from his plate. “You okay?”

“Fine,” he mumbled, taking a bite. Now, if you consider the fact that I’m sweating, shaking, on the verge of vomiting fine, then I’m fine.

“Okay,” she sighed. She grabbed a second piece, watching Nick play with the cheese on his slice. “Not hungry?”

“Not really. I was but I lost my appetite for some reason.”

“Are you sure you want to go on the boat then?” she asked, stuffing the pizza in her mouth.

“Oh, we’re definitely going on the boat. I want to be alone with you tonight, with no chance of any interruptions,” he said, finally looking up at her and taking her hand.

“Okay. I’m finished. I’ll get a sweatshirt and I’m ready.” She left Nick in the kitchen to his thoughts. Once he was sure she was out of sight he pulled out the little black velvet box and kissed it.

“Wish me luck.”

They walked hand in hand to the dock Nick’s boat was on. He helped her up and climbed on after her. He untied the boat from the docks and slowly backed it out of its space. A moment later they were on their way.

Once Nick was sure they were far enough away from land, he shut down the engine and dropped anchor. “It’s chilly out here tonight,” he said, walking up behind her and holding her in his arms. “I can keep you warm if you’d like.”

“That would be really nice,” she sighed, pressing her body against his. He pushed her hair over her left shoulder and began nibbling on her skin. She reached her hand up, running her fingers through his hair. Breathlessly, she asked, “What are you doing?”

“Making the most of our time alone together,” he swallowed. “And before you say anything else I need to ask you something.” He sat her down on the bench, kneeling before her. He pushed her legs open slightly, his hands resting on her thighs.

“You know I love you, right?” he asked, staring up at her. She nodded, her finger tracing his face. “You’ve made me so happy in the past two months. I know we’ve known each other for a short time, and I know we’ve been together for an even shorter time, but I’m serious when I ask you this,” he said.

“Ask me what, Nick?”

He leaned up, pressing his lips against hers. Slowly their lips parted and their tongues met. She moaned when he pulled away from her. He sat back, looking up at her once again. “You’re so beautiful, so full of life. I love you so much,” he smiled.

“I love you too, Nick.”

He looked down at the velvet box that was now resting in his hand. He took a deep breath, his eyes wide and full of love when they met hers. “Faith, will you marry me?”

She had the same reaction as Brian. Her eyes widened slightly. She was having trouble forming words. “Huh?”

“Will you be my wife?” This wasn’t the reaction he wanted. She searched his face and quickly turned to look out at the water. “Faith, say something. Just don’t leave me hanging like this.”

“You want to get married? We’ve only known each other…”

“I know, for two months. It’s completely crazy for us to get married, but I’m completely crazy about you. Say yes. Say you’ll marry me. You won’t regret it. I promise you won’t regret it.”

Faith searched his eyes. “It’s just so soon, Nick.”

He dropped his gaze back to the ring. He stood faster than he thought possible and retreated to the front of the boat.

“Nick, wait,” she said, trying to catch up with him.

“Why wait? We’re going back home. I have one of those headaches again,” he mumbled. “I need to lay down for a bit.”

“Yes.”

“Yes what? I feel sick and I want to get out of here.”

“Ask me again Nick,” she said, fighting the urge to reach out and touch him.

“Fine, I’ll ask you again. I don’t know why you want me to ask, you’re only gonna shoot me down,” he mumbled. He dropped to one knee and opened the box for her to see. “Will you marry me Faith?”

“Yes,” she smiled.

“That’s what I thought,” he mumbled, slamming the box shut. “Wait, did you say yes?”

“I said yes.” She sat on his leg, her arms around his neck. “I said yes because I love you. I want to be your wife.”

“You mean it? You’re not just saying that to make me happy, are you?” he asked.

“I’m saying it because I love you.”

Nick took a deep breath and smiled. “Oh shit, I’m getting married.” He took the ring out of the box and placed it on her finger. “Shit, we’re getting married.”

“Yeah, we’re getting married,” she whispered in his ear. She held him in her arms until he stopped shaking. “When can we get married?”

“We’ll figure that out when we get back to the house. I love you Faith,” he sighed, kissing her neck.

“I love you too, Nick.”

Nick refused to let her go while he raised the anchor and turned the boat back to the docks. His arm was around her shoulder as they walked back to the house.

“Are you afraid I’ll run away?” she laughed.

“Nah, you won’t run. I know where you live if you did run though. I want to show you something,” he said, leading her into the house and towards his bedroom.

“You want to show me something in your room?”

He nodded, stepping inside and closing the door behind him.

“What do you want to show me?”

He leaned down and kissed her neck softly, allowing his lips to linger. “I want to show you how much I love you. Is that okay?”

She looked up at him, her eyes closing as he nibbled on her neck. “Okay,” she breathed.

Nick nodded, swallowing the lump in his throat. “Okay,” he repeated. He led her over to the bed sitting her on the side. He unzipped her sweat jacket, slowly pulling it off her body. He lifted her T-shirt over her head and dropped it on the floor beside him.

He leaned forward, kissing her stomach. He looked up at her, unable to hide his smile. “Can I take this off?” he asked, tugging on her bra strap. She nodded, arching her back as his fingers found the hooks. He slid the straps down her arms, caressing her skin softly. He tossed her bra across the room, noticing her shiver.

“Don’t worry, Faithy, I’ll keep you warm.” He stood before her, pulling her up with him. He lifted her off her feet and rested her in the center of the bed. He knelt besides her on the bed, his eyes not leaving hers, as he pulled his shirt over his head. He opened his pants, pulling his zipper down.

Nick’s hand reached down and unzipped her jeans. “Do you want this, Faith?”

“I… I… I want you,” she moaned. He slid her jeans over her hips, pushing them to the floor once they were off her body. He stepped away from the bed, dropping his jeans and boxers to the floor before turning back to her.

“I want you too. Oh god do I want you,” he groaned at the sight before him. He hooked his fingers in the waistband of her panties and slowly pulled them down her body. “You are just… so beautiful,” he smiled.

She reached up, her fingers touching his lips. “Make love to me Nicky.” He nodded, bringing his body to rest against hers. He kissed her neck, kissed her shoulder, kissed her chest. He flicked his tongue over her nipple before taking it in his mouth. He smiled at her reaction to him. He moved to her other breast, licking softly before taking it in his mouth.

“Nick, please,” she breathed. He moved back up her body until their eyes locked. She wrapped her legs around his back, her hands spread over his back. Softly, gently, so not to hurt her, he slid himself inside her body. Their lips met and he smiled. “You okay?”

Faith pushed her hips into him. “I’m okay.” He moved slowly wanting to experience everything about her body. He wanted to remember the look in her eyes as their bodies connected. He kissed the soft flesh under her chin. He sought out her hands, pinning them to the bed just above her head.

Their sweaty bodies glistened in the moonlight. He pushed her sweaty hair away from her face. “You okay, Faith? I’m not hurting you, am I?”

“No, you’re not,” she sighed. “I love you Nick.”

“I love you too.” His hips moved faster against her. He moaned her name, his hands lifting her hips. He slid deeper inside her. He buried his head in the crook of her neck. “Faith,” he moaned, kissing her neck softy.

Her body began trembling beneath him. “I love you so much, Faith,” he mumbled against her lips. He didn’t want this to end. She tightened around him, her body giving in to the pleasure.

Nick kissed her, groaning as he pushed himself harder. He released himself inside her, his thrusts continuing as their bodies trembled together.

He lowered himself against her body, both of them breathing heavily together. “I never knew it could be like this,” he said, crying softly. She reached up and wiped the tears from his face, finding herself crying along with him. “I love you, Faith, so much it hurts right now.”

“I understand, Nick.” Their fingers entwined as they fell asleep, their minds and bodies still one.

Chapter Fourteen

Faith woke before Nick the next morning. “It wasn’t a dream,” she mumbled finding Nick sleeping naked beside her.

“Wasn’t a dream,” Nick repeated, pulling her closer to him.

“You’re awake?” she asked, allowing him to smother her.

“No,” he answered, smiling. “Would you believe I’m talking in my sleep?”

“No,” she laughed. “Move over, I need to use the bathroom.” She wiggled out of his grasp and threw on his T-shirt from the night before. His phone rang while she was in the bathroom. He didn’t want to move. He pulled himself up, fighting a dizzy spell, as he reached for the phone. “What?”

“Good morning to you too, Nick.”

He rolled his eyes. “Hi mom.”

“How are you feeling today?” she asked.

Like you care. “I just woke up, but so far so good.” Why are you even calling me?

“That’s good, Nicky.”

“Mom, how many times do I have to tell you not to call me Nicky? Why are you calling me?” He asked, his tone harsh. Faith quietly walked back into the room.

“I just wanted to see how you were doing. Obviously I made the mistake of caring,” Jane started.

“It’s just that you didn’t care before I was sick, why are you suddenly caring now?” he asked, motioning for Faith to join him on the bed. He’d need her by his side while he spoke with his mother.

“I’ve always cared, Nick. You were just too blind to see it,” Jane snapped.

“I was never blind when it came to you, mom. You never gave a shit about me. Now, what’s the real reason you’re calling?” He snapped back.

“Like I said, to see how you are. I was going to suggest a visit. Your father, your sisters, your brother and me. Apparently you don’t want us there.”

“Oh give me a break. If you want to come, fine. Just wait for the wedding. That way…”

“Wedding? What wedding?” She asked, making sure she understood the words herself.

Nick took a deep breath looking down at Faith in his arms. “I’m getting married, mom. I met this girl and…”

“And she’s only after your money,” Jane finished for him.

“Goodbye mom.” Nick hung up before giving his mother a chance to respond. “God, I hate that woman sometimes,” he mumbled, kissing the top of Faith’s head.

“What did she want?” Faith asked, kissing his chest.

“To see how I was doing,” he answered, listening as the phone rang again. “That’s either my mother or Brian.”

Faith reached across Nick’s body, grabbing the phone before he could protest. “Hello?”

“Faith, its Brian. Is Nick there?” Brian asked, sighing heavily on his end of the phone.

“Hold on,” she mumbled. “You were right, it’s Brian.”

Nick made a face, watching as Faith left Nick alone to talk to Brian. “Hey, Bri, what’s up?”

“So, I just got off the phone with this frantic lunatic who kept repeating, and I quote, what the hell is my baby doing get married? All she wants is his money.”

“I figured my mom would call you. No surprise there,” Nick smiled.

“While she was babbling about your money I think I heard the word married in there. Am I right? Did she say yes?” Brian asked, his voice full of hope.

“Yeah, she said yes. We woke up not too long ago. When I get off the phone with you we’re gonna try to pick a date. I’m going for the next two Saturdays. What do you think?”

“It’s not what I think, Nicky, it’s what Faith thinks. Talk to her and get back to me. Then we’ll have a big party at… AJ’s house to celebrate your engagement.”

“You’re offering AJ’s place for parties now?” Nick laughed. “I’m sure he’ll appreciate that.”

“Yeah, I know he would. That’s why I did it. Go talk to Faith about dates and call me later, okay?”

Nick bit his lip, “Sure, Bri. I’ll talk to you later.”

“Hey, Nick,” Brian said before hanging up. “Congratulations. You deserve a lot of happiness. I’m glad you two are getting married.”

“Thanks Brian. It means a lot coming from you. I’m gonna call everyone later on and tell them when we set a date. I hope she agrees but I want the wedding here, on the beach. How cool would that be?” Nick chuckled.

“Very cool for you. Go talk to your girl. Love you Nicky.”

“Love you too, Bri,” he said before hanging up. Nick slipped on a pair of boxers and headed out towards the living room where he knew he’d find Faith. “My mom called Brian complaining about the wedding. It’s probably because she doesn’t know you.”

“I’d like to get to know her,” Faith said quietly.

“Trust me, you do not want to get to know her. He’s not a typical loving mom. She’s a money hungry… She wasn’t a good mom when I was growing up, let’s just leave it at that,” Nick said, pulling Faith into his arms. “Besides, I have more important things to talk to you about.”

“Like?” she asked, running a finger over his thigh.

“Like a date for our wedding. When do you want to get married?” Nick asked, pulling her onto his lap. “What day would be good for you?”

“Well, what day would be good for you? You want to get married soon, right?” Nick nodded, kissing her shoulder. “Well, how about in two weeks? We’ll see if we can get a minister out here to perform the ceremony. That’s only if you want to get married out back. Did you have any ideas on where?”

He nodded, his hand resting on her stomach. “I love you.”

“I love you too. And, if we’re getting married in two weeks I need to get a dress. I’m going shopping,” she said, climbing from Nick’s lap.

“Wait, wait, wait,” Nick said, pulling her down. “How about I call Bri and Leigh and see if they can come down tomorrow? That way you’ll have someone to dress shop with and Bri and I can go for tuxes. He’s my best man,” he beamed. “Sound good to you? I’ll just see if they can stay until the wedding.”

“That is fine with me,” Faith said, grabbing the phone and handing it to Nick.

Nick dialed Brian’s number and wasn’t surprised when he answered on the first ring. “Well?”

“Well what?” Nick smiled.

“Well, when’s the wedding? I’m ready to come down now and help you guys prepare and stuff,” Brian said, pushing Leighanne away from him. “Stop it.”

“You can put me on speaker if she wants to listen. I’m actually calling for both of you. Faith and I discussed it and we’re getting married in two Saturdays. And we want both of you to come down for the next two weeks if you can. Faith wants Leigh to dress shop with her and I need you around, Bri. This is for real,” Nick added.

Before Brian had a chance to answer, Leigh said, “We’ll be there first thing in the morning,”

“Do you realize we have to leave now if we’re gonna be there first thing in the morning?” Brian turned to her. “That’s a long ass drive, baby.”

“Commuter planes, baby. There’s an airport in Marathon,” she quipped.

“That settles it,” Brian laughed. “By order of the wife, we’ll be there first thing in the morning. Congrats guys,” he added before hanging up.

“So there you have it. They’ll be here in the morning. We have about twenty hours before they get here. What do you want to do?” Faith leaned forward, licking his neck. “I think I can handle that, can you?”

“We shall see,” she yelled, running away from Nick. When he caught up to her, he threw her over his shoulder, determined to find out if she could handle it.

Chapter Fifteen

Nick stretched as he waited in small waiting area of the airport. He couldn’t help but laugh when he saw Brian wheeling three suitcases and carrying a smaller bag over his shoulder. Leighanne was carrying another small bag. “Guys, its only two weeks.”

“Tell her that. This little one over my shoulder? That’s all my shit. She had to take her entire wardrobe. Let’s hope you have room in the car for everything,” Brian growled, following Nick to the car.

“So, did you call everyone yesterday?”

Nick looked away, shaking his head and mumbling something incoherent.

“What did you say?”

He sighed deeply, “I said we didn’t have a chance. We were sort of busy.”

Brian chuckled at the blush in Nick’s cheeks.

“I’ll call today when the girls go out shopping.”

Brian nodded, patting Nick’s shoulder as he pulled out of the spot.

The ride back to the house was silent. Nick’s eyebrows creased as he concentrated on the road.

“Nick, you okay?”

He blinked hard, hoping that would take the pain away.

“Nick pull over. I’ll drive the rest of the way.”

“I feel nauseous,” Nick mumbled. He managed to pull the car over to the side of the road.

Brian ran around to the driver’s side, helping him out of the car.

“I’m gonna be sick.”

Brian led him as far from the car as he could before he got sick. “You okay?” Brian asked once he was finished.

Nick shook his head before another wave of nausea hit. When Nick was feeling slightly better he sat up and leaned on Brian. “Sometimes when I get a headache or when I get really dizzy I get sick. I was dizzy just now. Please don’t tell Faith. I don’t want her to worry.”

“I won’t tell her. I’ll tell Leigh not to say anything too. Can you hold on until they go shopping?” Nick nodded, allowing Brian to help him back to the car. He climbed into the passenger seat and pulled his seat belt on.

Brian climbed into the driver’s seat. “You sure you’ll be okay until they go shopping? Faith will probably be able to tell that something isn’t right.”

“Just don’t tell her. Trust me, okay. I can do it,” Nick said closing his eyes.

“Okay,” Brian said quietly, pulling back into traffic. Nick fell asleep on the short drive back to his house. Brian hated to wake him up, but he had to. The girls needed the car.

“Leigh, don’t say anything to her today. Nick doesn’t want her to know she got sick,” Brian said to Leighanne after they both climbed out of the car.

She nodded before running up the stairs and letting herself into the house.

“Nick, wake up. We’re back at the house.”

Nick groaned. He opened his eyes and sighed. Just give me a sec,” Nick said, “and I’ll be able to get out of the car. I just need a second to pull myself together.”

Brian nodded, shielding Faith’s view of Nick in case she popped her head out of the door to look at them.

Nick took a deep breath. He climbed out of the car and put his arm around Brian’s shoulder. “See, I’m fine now.” He helped Brian bring the suitcases in the house and tossed his keys at Faith. “You guys have fun.”

Nick waited until he heard the car pull away before he slid onto the couch. “I feel like shit, Bri. Can you help me to my room?”

Brian nodded, slipping an arm behind Nick’s back and pulling him up from the couch. “Do you want to call everyone from your room or should I do it?” Brian asked as they were closer to his room.

“I want to do it. Just get me in my bed and I’ll call,” Nick said. Brian helped him into the bed and watched as he crawled up to the pillows. “Okay, give me the phone.”

“You sleep, Nick. We’ll call everyone later.”

He slowly nodded, holding onto the pillow as he drifted off.

The girls came back four hours later with two dresses; one for the bride, one for her maid of honor. The house was eerily quiet and neither Brian nor Nick was around. “Let me take your dress and put it up in our room while you find the guys. They have to be around here somewhere,” Leighanne shrugged.

Faith looked in the kitchen first and then checked the bedroom. She smiled when she saw the two of them sleeping, Brian face down with Nick’s head buried in his back. “They used to do that all the time when they were younger. They still do when they’re on the road and missing their family.”

The girls left the bedroom, leaving Brian and Nick sleeping peacefully.

~~

The day of the wedding came faster than any of them could imagine. All the girls found themselves spread out in the different guestrooms helping Faith to get ready to become Nick’s wife. The guys gathered in Nick’s room wanting to make sure he was ready.

Nick sat on the center of his bed with a smile on his face. “Guys, can you believe that in a few hours I’M getting married? ME. I’m getting married,” he laughed.

“I think he’s gone nuts,” AJ shrugged. “Clearly nuts.”

“You’re nuts. I’m in love,” Nick smiled, his eyes sparkling. “I just can’t believe I’m getting married.”

“Neither can we, Nick,” Kevin said, adjusting the tie on his neck. “Is this straight?”

Nick nodded, looking at Kevin curiously. “What do you mean Kev? Neither can we? Whose we? You think I’m jumping into this, don’t you? Have you been talking to my mother?”

“Don’t jump to conclusions, Nicky. When you called to tell me you were getting married I’ll admit I was shocked. But that’s because you haven’t known her that long. I trust you, Nick. Now is the time for you to get married.”

“I know,” he laughed, bouncing on the bed. “I should get dressed, huh?”

“Yeah. You need help with anything?”

“Nope, Howie, I’m good,” he pushed everyone out of the room except for Brian. “You can help me get ready and make sure I look perfect. I need to look perfect for my baby.”

“I know you do. Get dressed and I’ll make sure everything is good before you go out there.” Nick’s smile lit up his eyes. There was nothing that could bring him down today.

Faith paced nervously around one of the guestrooms.

“Faith, I need to finish your hair. Sit down,” Kristen said pacing behind her. “You’re gonna make yourself sick from nerves.”

“I can’t do this. I love him but I can’t marry him,” Faith blurted out. “It’s too soon. I’ve only known him for two and a half months. That’s not enough time. I can’t do this,” she said, her breathing becoming labored.

“Faith, relax. Just remember to breathe in and out. You are getting married today to an incredible guy who loves you more than life itself. He’s expecting to find you on the beach in about two hours. Please don’t back out on him. I don’t think he’d be able to handle it.” Kristen said, looking to Leighanne for help.

“Kris is right, Faith. He loves you completely. Not going through with this will break his heart. Got it?”

Faith nodded. “I got it. I’m so nervous it’s making me sick though. Is that normal?”

“I was nervous before my wedding too. Nerves are completely normal,” Leighanne assured her.

“Okay. Kristen, please finish my hair,” she sighed. I can do this. I have to do this.

The next two hours crept by slowly. “I wanna get married already,” Nick whined. He was standing barefoot in the sand next to Brian and the minister. “I don’t want to wait anymore.”

“Stop whining, Nick. She’ll be out in a minute,” Brian whispered.

As if on cue the music started and Leighanne walked from the house. She was barefoot as well. All the guests were barefoot. It was something Nick had wanted. Nick gasped when he saw Faith for the first time. “Holy shit,” he mumbled to Brian.

“I agree,” Brian whispered back. A short veil covered her face and her long dark hair was pinned her head. She wore a long white sleeveless dress. She looked amazing. “Don’t cry Nick.”

“Too late Bri.” Nick’s smile never wavered.

The minister began the ceremony. When the time came to say their vows, it was Nick who started.

“Who would’ve thought that you and I would be getting married two months after we met? That day I saw you, before the hurricane, was the worst day of my life and you turning me away during the storm didn’t make it any better. But you stayed with me during the hurricane and we got to know each other then. It may have been only 24 hours but it felt like a lifetime. I was comfortable with you. That comfort slowly turned to love over the next month.

“I know I don’t have much time left but the time I do have left… I want to spend with you. I love you more than life itself and I’d do anything I can to make you happy. After all, you are my happiness.”

Faith smiled at Nick. “If looks could kill you probably would’ve died on my doorstep the day you knocked on my door. You were the last person I expected to see. We definitely started off on the wrong foot. But you won me over during the storm. Your vulnerability showed through and you let me hold you when you were upset. Not many men would do that. I fell in love with you in those 24 hours and I kept that to myself until you took me to my favorite restaurant for dinner. We fought,” she laughed, “but what else is new? We ended up on the beach. That’s where it started.

“You’ve shown me the true meaning of love and happiness, Nick and for that I’ll always be grateful. And, like you said, you are my happiness.”

Nick looked at the minister. “Can I kiss her yet?” He whispered.

“Soon, son,” he laughed. “Do you, Faith Douglas, take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?”

“I do,” she smiled.

“And do you, Nickolas Carter, take this woman to be…”

“Oh god, I do,” he smiled. “Sorry, didn’t mean to cut you off. I just do.”

Nick took a deep breath trying to shake off the dizzy feeling. The last thing he remembered hearing before everything went black was that they had been pronounced man and wife.

Chapter Sixteen

Faith, Brian, Leighanne, Kevin, Kristen, Howie, Lee, AJ and Sarah all crowded into the small waiting room at the hospital. Brian held a shaking Faith in his arms while they waited for Nick’s doctor.

“Are you all with Nickolas Carter?” the on-call doctor, Doctor Kellerman, asked the group.

“Yeah,” Kevin said offering him his hand. “How is he?”

“He’s awake and talking. He’s asking for Faith,” he sighed, looking down at Nick’s bride. “He had what we’ll call an episode. These will happen as his situation gets worse. He blacked out from a dizzy spell. He tells me he’s had a few of them recently. It’s something that will happen and something that unfortunately can not be prevented.”

“What do we do if it happens again?” Faith asked.

“Dizzy spells will occur, you can’t stop those. Just make sure he gets enough rest. If he blacks out call his primary doctor, or you can page me. Here is my card with my pager number on it. Get in contact with one of us and we’ll tell you what to do.”

“Thanks Dr. Kellerman. Can I go in to see him now?”

“Sure.” Faith moved away from Brian and excused herself from the group to follow the doctor to Nick’s room. “Here’s his room. He’s free to go when he’s finished dressing.”

“Thank you again.”

The doctor nodded leaving Faith outside the door.

She took a breath before walking in the room. Nick was sitting on the side of the bed, his shirt unbuttoned, running his through his hair. “Nicky?”

“Faith?” He croaked, “I’m so sorry to do this, today of all days.”

“Don’t apologize, Nick. You couldn’t have planned something like this. Let’s take you home. Everyone is waiting for you.” Nick stood, not bothering to button his shirt, and put his arm around her shoulder.

“How are you feeling?”

“Better, I guess. I’m just embarrassed that this had to happen today, in front of everybody. I guess the doc told you I’ve had a few dizzy spells in the past couple of weeks, huh?”

Faith nodded, her holding onto his waist to hold him up.

“Why didn’t you tell me this was going on, Nick? I would’ve helped you.”

“Like the doctor said there is nothing that can be done to stop them. It’s something I have to live with. I didn’t want you to worry.”

“I’m more worried now that I know you’ve been keeping this from me.”

Kevin helped Nick to the car and held the door open while Faith climbed into the back with Nick.

“Do you hate me Faith?” Nick leaned in close to whisper to her, so
Kevin or Kristen couldn't hear.

“Of course not, Nick. How can you even think that?”

“Because I lied to you,” he said, closing his eyes. “How can you love someone who lies to you like I did?”

Kristen glanced at her husband, holding onto his hand.

“Nick, you didn’t lie to me. You just didn’t tell me everything. I have no reason to not love you. Unless you’ve forgotten I’m your wife. You can’t take that back.”

“You still want to be my wife?” He asked quietly. “I’ll understand if you don’t want to.”

“Nick, what are you talking about? I am your wife and there is nothing that you can do to change that fact. I love you whether or not you believe it.”

“But I lied to you. I lied to everyone. I kept it all to myself.”

“Next time don’t keep it to yourself. Tell me when it hurts even if I can’t fix it, okay? When you passed out before I thought I lost you for good. That was the scariest feeling in the world, Nicky. Make sure to tell me when you’re hurting.”

“Okay,” he whispered, resting his head in her lap. “My head hurts now. I have a headache.”

Faith brushed his hair off his forehead. “We’ll get you to bed when we get home then. How does that sound?”

He nodded, closing his eyes and pressing his head against her stomach.

Kevin drove in silence, squeezing Kristen’s hand every so often. He saw her wipe tears from her face when she thought he wasn’t looking.

“Kevin, do you think you’ll be able to carry Nick into the house? I hate to wake him up,” Faith sighed. “He just fell asleep and I’m sure you heard him talking. His head hurts. To wake him up in the middle of a headache would probably hurt him more.”

Kevin cleared his throat before he spoke. “Of course I’ll carry him in.”

“Thank you,” she said quietly, cupping his Nick’s face. Things have to be okay, Nick. There is so much he needs to do before he goes.

“Faith, we’re here,” Kevin said, opening the door for her. “You slide out and I’ll get Nicky. Go run up and open the door.”

She nodded, running toward the house to open the door. She watched Kevin struggle while holding Nick in his arms.

“Forgot how… heavy… damn kid…” By the time Kevin had made his way through the house to the bedroom he was grunting with every step.

“I’ll undress him in a minute. Can I talk to you for a sec?” She asked, taking Kevin’s hand and leading him into the kitchen. “First, thank you for helping me bring him in. I never would’ve gotten him in the house if it were just me. Second, I know you heard what he was saying in the car. I just wanted to assure you that I’m not running anywhere. I gave him my word I’ll be with him until…” She paused for a moment, “until the end and I never go back on my word. He’s stuck with me.”

Kevin pulled her into his arms and held her. “I never doubted you Faith. Now go take care of Nicky. We’ll clean up out here and we’ll be quiet when we do it,” he said, watching AJ grab a broom from the corner.

“Oh, sorry Kev. The broom is your means of transportation. I’ll just get something else,” AJ replaced the broom and left the two of them alone.

“Sometimes I just want to kill him,” Kevin laughed. “Go take care of Nick and I’ll take care of everything else.”

“Thanks again Kevin. I definitely couldn’t have done it without all of you guys,” Faith gave him a quick hug.

Before releasing her, Kevin whispered, “You’re part of the family now.”

Faith nodded once before heading into the bedroom. She slipped her dress off and laid it over the chair. She threw on one of Nick’s old T-shirts and crawled into the bed with him. She tugged on the arm of his tuxedo jacket silently hoping she didn’t wake him up. She managed to pull his jacket and shirt off. His eyebrows creased each time she moved him.

She unbuckled his belt, pulling it softly through the loops. She watched his face closely as she pulled his pants off. “You’ll be okay Nick,” she whispered, crawling into bed besides him. “You have to be okay.”

Faith woke up the next morning alone. “Nick?”

“Leave me alone.”

She sat up in the bed, looking around the room.

“Where are you?”

“I said leave me alone,” Nick growled.

“No, Nick, where the hell are you?”

“I wanna be alone. Is that too much to ask for?”

Faith got out of the bed and walked over to the closet opening it slowly. Nick was sitting against the back wall with his arms wrapped around his legs.

“Please, damn it, leave me alone. That’s all I ask for.”

Ignoring Nick’s wishes she sat next to him behind the hanging clothes.

He pushed her away, burying his head against his arm. “I told you I want to be alone.”

“And I don’t want you to be alone, Nick. Why are you in the closet?”

“I wanted to be alone,” he repeated. “When I was growing up and wanted to be alone I hid in the closet. Sometimes my brother would sit with me but he wouldn’t say anything. And after yesterday I wanted to be alone.”

Faith reached over running her fingers over his skin. “After what yesterday, baby?”

“I let you down, Faith. I let everybody down. Just proves that I’ve failed at yet another thing. I couldn’t get through my own wedding and I couldn’t make love to you on our wedding night,” he said quietly. “Yesterday was supposed to be special and I ruined it.”

“You didn’t ruin anything Nick.”

“Yes, I did. Now just get out of here and leave me alone. I’ll come out later,” Nick turned his back to Faith and waited until she left.

“When you’re ready to come out, I’ll be in the bed. I’m not leaving this room,” she climbed into the bed and waited. She must have waited fifteen minutes before she heard the closet door creek open. He crawled from the closet to the bed, peaking over the side. Their eyes met for a moment before he pulled himself up and wrapped his body around hers.

“I’m an ass, Faith. I’m sorry about the closet shit. It won’t happen again.”

“And if it does I know to leave you alone. Now hold me and shut up.”

Chapter Seventeen

The next two months passed quickly. Almost too quick for Nick. “You okay Faith? You’ve been looking kind of, well, crappy,” he laughed.

“Yeah, yeah. Why don’t we take a walk on the beach? I have something I need to talk to you about.”

Nick slipped on his sandals and stuck his hands in his pockets. “I’ll meet you outside.”

She waited till he walked out before walking into the bathroom. She splashed some water on her face. It’s now or…now. This really can’t wait any longer.

“Hey, Nick,” she met him on the porch. He put an arm around her shoulder as they walked towards the water. “So tell me, what are your deepest desires?”

“What kind of question is that?”

“I was just wondering what your deepest desires are.”

He pulled her against him, his arms crossing over her chest. “Well, I guess you are my deepest desire. You’re all I ever wanted.”

“Is there anything else you want?” She asked, hoping to draw the right answer out of him.

“Not really. I have you and my friends, my brother and my sisters, my father. My mother is a bitch, she doesn’t count,” he chuckled, kissing her neck. “There’s nothing else I can think of.”

Faith sighed heavily. This is gonna be so much harder than I thought. “You can’t think of anything else?”

“Sure, I could think of other things but everything I want is right here in my arms. Can you think of something that I may want?”

“I could think of a lot of things, Nick. There is one thing I do need to tell you though. I’m not sure how you’re going to take it though. I debated all week over how I should tell you and I figured just saying would be the best way.”

Nick’s grip on her tightened slightly.

“Just say it, Faithy. I can handle anything,” he shrugged, kissing the top of her head.

“How do you feel about babies?”

His grip loosened significantly when she was finished. His heart started racing wildly.

“How do you feel about me having your baby?”

He let go of her, and turned his back to her. “You can’t be serious.”

She knew his reaction would be bad. “I am serious. The night you proposed and we came back to the house, Nick…. I’m having your baby.”

“And you think this is good news?” He asked. He turned to face her, his face red. “How can this be good news?”

“You’re gonna be a father,” her eyes filled with water. “You’re gonna be a great father.”

He started walking up the beach, away from her.

She ran after him, wanting to reason with him.

“Some great father I’ll be, Faith. I’ll be dead. All the kid’s will have are pictures of me. He’ll never know me and I’ll never see him. Why bother even having it?”

She stopped running. “You can’t mean that, Nick.”

“What if I did mean it? I can’t be a great father if I’m dead and buried somewhere. You know that’s gonna happen before that kid is born.”

“You don’t know that.”

“I don’t know that? Have you forgotten how to count Faith? Two months. Two more months is all I have left. That means I’m out of here and I’ll never know that kid that you’re carrying. Did you expect me to be happy about this?”

“I obviously misjudged you Nick.” She slowly walked back to the house ignoring Nick’s anguished cry behind her.

She knew when he came back the first place he’d look for her would be their bedroom. She walked up the stairs and chose a guestroom. She sat on the center of the bed going over Nick’s reaction. She knew he’d react badly. All we need now is a miracle.

Nick sat on the beach for hours after Faith left. He thought a lot about what she said, how hurt she sounded when she left. He had come to the conclusion that the baby was good news. Or so he made himself believe. Nick stood up to make his way back to the house.

Nick walked through the living room and to their bedroom, sighing when he found it empty. He checked the bathroom, the kitchen, hell, he even checked his closet but she wasn’t there. “Faith, where the hell are you?”

He ran up the stairs two at a time checking each of the guestrooms. He found her in the second one lying in the center of the bed. She had fallen asleep while waiting for him.

He sat hard on the bed, trying to wake her up. “Faith, get up.” He pushed her arm. “Faith, we need to talk.” He pushed her again. “Come on Faith, we need to talk about this baby thing.”

She opened her eyes, glaring at him. “This baby thing? First of all this baby is not a thing. It’s your son or daughter,” she pulled herself up so she was sitting opposite him. “Second, you made your opinions about this baby thing loud and clear when we were outside.”

Nick hung his head as she yelled at him. “I thought about it Faith. The baby is a good thing. I’m just a little upset.”

“You could’ve fooled me,” she snapped. “This was supposed to bring a little hint of a smile on your face. I never would’ve thought you’d even suggest I get rid of it.”

“I’m just upset,” he whined. “Faith, listen to me baby. Hear me out, okay?”

She nodded, raising her eyebrow.

“You have to understand where I’m coming from. I never meant for you to get rid of it. I feel like someone is playing a really cruel joke on me. First I meet you and fall in love. Even if I wasn’t going to die this soon I could picture myself with you until I was old. Really old with gray hair and stuff. Then I find out two months before I’m going to die I’m gonna have a baby. If that’s not the most unfair thing you’ve ever heard…”

“Nick, sometimes the doctors are wrong,” Faith said quietly. “You never know what’s going to happen. You keep saying two months from now but when those two months come and go and you’re still sitting across from me what are you going to do?”

Nick stared down at the quilt on the bed. “I never thought about that. I never considered that I might live longer than the six months the doctor gave me.”

“Do me a favor, Nick. Stop counting the days. Counting them is only making you sick to your stomach. It’s making me sick too.”

His finger traced the pattern on the quilt. “I’ll stop counting. I’ll have to stop counting. I don’t want to lose you by doing something stupid.”

“No matter how stupid you get you won’t lose me,” she smiled..

Nick sat quietly for a moment for a moment before he pushed her back against the bed. “Tell me about the baby.”

“Well, I’m two months pregnant. I went to the doctor on Wednesday and he confirmed it. It’s real.”

“You’ll have a part of me with you always then,” he said quietly, his head coming to rest on her chest.

“Yeah,” she said softly, her fingertips gazing over his arm. “You’ll always be with me, Nicky.”

They held each other for a while longer, basking in the silence surrounding them. Nick finally spoke when the silence became too much. “Sitting out on the beach I figured out something else I want before I die.”

“What’s that?”

“To see my baby just once. To be able to run my finger over his or her soft skin. Now that I have you that’s all I ask for.” He didn’t expect her to say anything. Her silence spoke volumes. They both knew that wouldn’t happen. They both knew it was impossible.

Chapter Eighteen

“Faith?”

“Yes Nick?” She asked, looking up from her book.

“You’re hiding something from me. What are you not telling me?” Nick asked.

“Why do you think I’m hiding something from you?” she asked, her eyes trying to find her spot in the book.

“Because you haven’t looked me in the eye all morning. You’re avoiding me today.”

Faith bit her lip. Shit. “I’m just reading my book, Nick. It’s interesting.” Oh please don’t talk to me anymore.

“What the book about?”

Faith rolled her eyes. “Murder and stuff. It’s one of those books that are hard to describe. Can I read now?”

“Sure,” he nodded, his eyes not leaving her. He watched her for fifteen minutes. “Faith?”

“Nick, I’m trying to read this book,” she sighed.

“You haven’t turned a page in a while, Faith. What’s going on?”

She deliberately turned the page. “I turned. Will you let me read now?”

Nick walked across the room, sitting next to her. “You tell me what’s up and I’ll let you go back to staring blankly at the page. That’s what you’re doing right? You’re not really reading.”

“Fine, Nick, I’m not reading. I have something coming for you. It should be here soon. It’s being delivered around 7 tonight. And I don’t want to tell you ahead of time what it is because it will ruin the surprise. All I have to say it you need to trust me.”

“I do trust you. You’re my wife, right?” Nick smiled.

Faith nodded. She closed her book and tossed it on the coffee table.

“You give up?”

“I wasn’t reading it anyway. I just don’t want to tell you what your surprise is.”

Nick lay his head in her lap, making himself comfortable on the couch. “I won’t ask what it is then,” he said, brushing his hair against her stomach.

“Good, because I wasn’t going to tell you.”

“Good. I want to be surprised,” he pressed a finger to her stomach. “The baby is in there,” he said, a smile on his face.

“Yeah.”

“My baby is in there.”

She nodded, her fingers running through her hair.

“Do you think I can see it if I look in your belly button?” He asked.

“What?” What the hell is he talking about?

“You know, the baby is in the belly. Can I see it?”

Oh God no, this isn’t happening. Please tell me this isn’t happening. “You can’t see it right now. We’re going to the doctor in about two weeks. We’ll see the baby then.”

He closed his left eyes, his right eye open and pressing against her belly button. He pouted, ”but I wanna see the baby now.”

She closed her eyes. I can’t handle this. Not this soon. “I’m sorry Nicky, but you can’t see the baby right now. You can talk to it if you want.”

He pulled his head away from her belly, a thoughtful expression on his face. “Can it talk back?”

“Not yet. But it can hear you if you talk to it.” You were fine ten minutes ago, what the hell happened?

“It can? What can I say to it?”

“Whatever you want to Nicky. The baby hears everything.”

“Everything,” he whispered. “The baby hears everything?”

“Yeah, Nicky, everything.” She couldn’t resist running her fingers through his hair. “I have a fun idea.”

“I like fun ideas. What is it?” He jumped up and waited to find out her fun idea.

“Why don’t you and I go to sleep together in our bed? That way when you wake up it’ll be time for your surprise.” Faith prayed he’d agree. She couldn’t stand to hear him speak like this anymore.

“I wanna sleep with the baby.”

“You can’t sleep with the baby, Nicky. The baby is still in my belly.”

“So take it out. Then I can sleep with the baby.” His finger danced lazily around her stomach.

“The baby can’t come out yet. It’s not ready to come out yet but I have another idea. Come with me.” She waited until he sat up before she stood. She held out her hand, which he eagerly took. She led him to the bedroom and told him to lie down. “Scoot down on the bed a little,” Faith told him.

He obeyed eager to find out her idea. She made herself comfortable on the bed next to Nick. “So, what’s your idea?”

“Put your head on my belly, Nick,” she told him quietly. She waited until he did as he was told, “Now put your hand on my side.” He rested his hand on her hipbone, looking up at her for approval. “That’s good. Now, you can sleep with the baby.”

“Sleep with the baby?”

She sighed deeply. This is gonna be so much harder than I thought. “The baby isn’t big enough to come out of my belly but it’s in there. And you put your head on it. You’re sleeping with the baby.”

“I am.” His eyes lit up as he poked her softly in the stomach. “I’m sleeping with you baby,” he whispered against her stomach. He snuggled his head against, falling asleep with a smile on his face.

Her eyes shimmered with tears. “Nick, whatever you do, don’t prove the doctors right. You need to get past the six-month mark. I’m confident you can get past the six-month mark.” She glanced at the alarm clock and back to Nick’s smiling face. “And your brother will be here in about an hour and a half. Surprise.”

She waited until she was sure he was in a deep sleep before she moved away from him. Brian and Aaron would be here in about fifteen minutes, give or take. She needed to get a few things ready before they got her.

She had no sooner stepped out of the bedroom when she heard the knock on the door. “I don’t need to knock, Brian, this is my brother’s house.”

Faith opened the door before Aaron had a chance to barge in. “And this is my brother’s wife?” Aaron asked.

“Yeah, I’m his wife,” she smiled. “It’s nice to finally meet you Aaron.”

Aaron walked into the house with his arms wide open. He engulfed her in a big hug. “Sorry I wasn’t here for the wedding. My mother can be a bitch sometimes.”

“It’s okay. You were missed though,” she smiled, hugging him back. She looked up at Brian who was shaking his head.

“He doesn’t know about Nick,” he mouthed, pointing to his head.

She nodded slightly. “Hey, Aaron, why don’t you run upstairs and pick a room. Nick was feeling a little funny before so he went to lie down.”

“You got it,” he said, tossing his bag over his shoulder and grabbing his suitcase. “Any one right?”

“Yeah, anyone.” They watched him walk up the stairs. Once she heard the door shut, she turned to Brian. “He’s gonna find out about in, and in a bad way.”

“Why? What happened?” Brian asked cautiously.

“He regressed.” She found a string hanging off the end of her sweater. She tugged gently on it, wrapping it around her finger.

“Regressed?” He walked her over to the couch.

“He was acting like he was three, Brian. He was asking questions only a child would ask. I think it’s starting to happen.” Her elbows rested against her knees, her head in her hands. “I’m not ready for this to start happening. Not now. Not where there is so much at stake.”

“What exactly happened before?” Brian asked wearily. They didn’t realize Aaron came down for a soda.

“He knew something was up. I didn’t tell him Aaron was coming. I thought it would be a really nice surprise. I was sitting on the couch and he had his head in my lap. There’s nothing unusual about that.”

Aaron smiled at the image.

“He started asking childish questions about the baby. He wanted to know if he looked into my belly button would he see it. Then he all but insisted I take the baby out so he could sleep with it.”

Brian stared helplessly at Faith.

“What do I do if this is the beginning? This soon? Other than the blackouts and dizzy spells, he’s been good. What do I do?”

“We’ll have to wait and see how Nick is when he wakes up.”

Faith nodded, closing her eyes and stretching her neck. “What if he’s like this with Aaron. How will we explain that to him if he doesn’t know about Nick?”

“We’ll just have to figure out a way.”

Aaron, slightly confused, walked back up the stairs quietly. He waited a moment before running down and bouncing into the living room. “Can I have a soda?”

“Anything you want, Aaron. You’re our guest for the next week.” Faith watched Aaron walk into the kitchen, and waited until the refrigerator door opened before continuing. “I can’t be the one to tell him something like this. I don’t have it in me.”

“If it comes down to it, I’ll tell him.”

“Thank you.” They heard the bedroom door creak open.

“Faith? Where are you?”

“Living room, Nicky.” She smiled at Nick when he walked in rubbing his hand over his hair. “How’d you sleep?”

“Good. Is Brian my surprise?”

“Why would I be your surprise? I’m here all the time,” Brian laughed.

Nick sat besides Faith, putting an arm around her back. “I had the strangest dream,” he said, oblivious to Aaron’s presence. “It was almost like I was a kid again. I was asking you such stupid questions about the baby.” He laughed at himself, not seeing the looks between Faith and Brian. “Seeing a baby through a belly button? What the hell?”

He noticed they weren’t laughing. He noticed they weren’t doing much of anything. Faith’s head drooped as her tears fell. “What did I say?”

Faith shrugged her shoulders looking to Brian for help.

“Nicky, I don’t know how to tell you this,” Brian started, frowning.

“Tell me what?” He asked nervously.

“Well, Nicky, it wasn’t a strange dream. You did ask Faith about the baby. You asked her all sorts of questions. Questions a child would probably ask,” he said quietly. He couldn’t bring himself to meet Nick’s face.

“I did that?” He was horrified at the thought.

“Yeah, Nicky, you did,” Faith said quietly.

Nick ran his hand over his pale face, turning his head away from his best friend and wife. He found himself staring into two very wide brown eyes.

“Umm… surprise,” Aaron shrugged.

Chapter Nineteen

“Aaron, why don’t you and I go take a walk? I think we need to talk,” Nick said, running his hand through his hair.

Aaron nodded in agreement.

“Should we go to my room?”

“Where ever you want, Nick.” Aaron followed Nick to the bedroom, both of them very quiet.

Aaron waited until they were both sitting before speaking. “So, Nick…”

“What did mom tell you?” Nick stared at the floor before him.

“Nothing. I have no idea what’s going on,” Aaron admitted.

“She didn’t tell you anything? Anything at all?”

Aaron shook this head.

“What an ass,” Nick mumbled.

“Big ass,” Aaron added.

Nick couldn’t help but laugh. “I know BJ and Leslie know. I’m guessing Angel doesn’t know either. If she did, you’d know. There is no doubt about that.”

“Yeah, Angel tells me everything. What’s going on Nick? You’re kind of scaring me.” Aaron shifted closer to Nick, resting his head on Nick’s shoulder.

“I’m kind of scared too. I thought everyone knew about this. I didn’t think I’d have to go and tell someone else,” Nick said.

“Just blurt it out Nick. I’m sure it can’t be that bad,” Aaron encouraged.

“It can be that bad, that’s the problem.” He took a moment to look at Aaron. “I love you little bro.”

“I love you too, Nick.”

Okay, here goes. “Aaron… shit, this is the hardest thing that I’ve ever had to do. Telling you of all people. But you need to know. A few months ago I kept getting headaches. They made me sick to my stomach. Brian convinced me to go see a doctor and I did. He came with me. I had a CAT scan and they did other tests on my brain.”

“Is there something really wrong Nick?” His voice was quivering. Nick had never heard Aaron sound like that.

“Yeah, there’s something really wrong. They found something on my brain. They found a shadow. After a few more tests they found that shadow to be…” Nick couldn’t say the words.

“Nick, I’m really starting to freak out here. What is the shadow? Please don’t tell me it was anything bad. If it is, don’t tell me.”

“I have to tell you Aaron. I was hoping mom would’ve told you already but fat chance on that.”

“Yeah, fat chance,” Aaron repeated. “Just say it, Nick.”

“Okay, Aaron. The shadow they found was a tumor,” he said softly.

Aaron nodded, “So when’s the surgery?” Aaron searched Nick’s expressionless face. “There will be surgery right?”

Nick slowly shook his head. He couldn’t look at his brother.

“Then what’s gonna happen? What can be done to get rid of it?”

Barely above a whisper, Nick said, “Nothing.”

Aaron’s face fell. “Nothing? What do you mean nothing? There has to be something…”

“There isn’t. There is nothing at all. If they go in and operate, if they try to remove it, there could be complications. The doctor thought it would be best if they didn’t operate.”

“But, I don’t understand. How can that be best? Wouldn’t the best thing be to get rid of it?”

“Sure, that’s what I think the best thing would be,” Nick sighed. All I need from you is understanding. That, and a hug. Can’t you give me both?

“So if you want the surgery why won’t they do it? And what kind of complications are you talking about? What could happen if they do it?” Aaron asked.

Nick looked at his brother for the first time. “A lot can happen. They don’t want to do it because it’s too close to some of the cells. If something goes wrong I could lose my speech, sight, strength… I could lose myself.”

“Oh.” That was all he could say.

Nick waited for Aaron to say or do something. The silence was killing him, slowly eating him alive. “Say something Aaron.”

“Okay. What’s going to happen now? I mean, you aren’t having your surgery…” Aaron allowed his voice to trail off. “What does no surgery mean?”

Nick walked over to the window, pulling the curtain to the side and looking out at the ocean. “No surgery means that eventually I’ll die.” He heard Aaron’s cry behind him. “It’ll happen slower this way.”

“Slower?”

Nick pressed his forehead against the cool glass of the window. “This isn’t what I wanted with my life, Aaron.”

“Then do something about it, Nick. There has to be someone somewhere who can help you. Have you…”

“I’ve tried everything, Aaron. Kevin tried too. Please, just accept it. There is nothing that can be done to save me. I’ve learned to live each day as if it was my last.”

“Accept it?” Aaron glared at his brother. “You tell me your dying and you want me to accept it? What the fuck is wrong with you?”

“There is nothing wrong with me,” Nick said. “Not yet, anyway.”

“Not yet? That’s good, Nick, that’s really good.” Aaron stormed towards the door, pulling it open.

He stopped when he heard Nick’s fragile voice, “They only gave me six months, Aaron.”

“So, in six months you’ll…”

“I went to the doctor four and a half months ago.” Tears fell from his eyes. Telling Aaron had to have been the worse thing he’d ever done.

It took a minute for Nick’s words to sink in. He quickly did the math in his head. “Is this some kind of sick joke, Nick? If it is I’ll never forgive you.”

“No, Aaron, it’s not a sick joke. It’s all true.”

Ignoring him, Aaron added, “Do you hate me or something?”

“Hate you? Of course not,” Nick started.

“This is all bullshit, Nick. You’re just making it all up to piss me off. Guess what? It worked.”

Nick shook his head, stepping closer to Aaron.

“Stay away from me you fuckin’ liar.”

Aaron left Nick alone in the bedroom, running through the house and out the door.

Faith jumped when Aaron slammed the front door shut.

“Oh shit. You go after Aaron, I’ll stay with Nick,” Brian suggested to Faith.

“What do I say to Aaron?” Faith asked.

“Anything to get him to understand,” Brian sighed. “He idolizes Nick. I really wish Jane had told him. Nick must be a mess right now. Go after Aaron before he gets too far. I’ll stay with Nick until you both come back.”

“Wish me luck then,” she whispered before leaving the house.

Brian walked into the bedroom, his heart breaking when he saw Nick. Sitting in the center of the room, his arms were tight around his legs. Brian sat besides Nick, facing the opposite direction. Without saying anything he pulled Nick against him. He rocked Nick gently in his arms. “He thinks I hate him, Bri. He thinks I told him everything because I hate him.”

“He knows you don’t hate him, Nicky. He’s just petrified. You know him, he’s a smart kid. Just give him time and he’ll come around.”

“I don’t have time, Bri. I need him now. I thought he knew about it.”

“I thought he knew too. When I called your mother to make the arrangements she mentioned that he had no idea. I dropped a few hints that she should talk to him but apparently she didn’t. We thought it would be a nice surprise to have him around for a week or two. He has an open-ended ticket. He can go home whenever he chooses.”

“He’ll be leaving soon I guess. He hates me. I can’t help what happened and he hates me for it.”

Brian’s heart dropped with Nick’s anguished cry. “I know you can’t help it Nick. I’m sure he’ll come around.”

“Sure,” Nick whispered, not believing his own words.

Faith waited until Brian was in the room with Nick before she left the house. She saw Aaron running down the beach. “How the hell am I supposed to catch up with him?” She watched him for another minute before he collapsed in the sand. “Now I can catch up to him.”

She watched him as she walked. She was within ten feet when he heard her.

“Get away from me,” he cried. “I don’t want to hear anymore lies and bullshit.”

“It’s not lies and bullshit, Aaron. It’s the truth. Your brother wouldn’t lie to you about this.”

“He did lie. There is no way he could have a tumor. He’s too young to get one of them. Why did he tell me? Why couldn’t he have left me ignorant to everything?” The rain started to fall.

“He loves you, Aaron. That’s why he told you.”

“He doesn’t love me. And you don’t know me. Why the hell are you even out here?”

Faith pushed her hair out of her face. Rain wasn’t in the forecast for tonight. “Because I want to know you. Your brother told me a lot about you because he loves you.”

“He has a funny way of showing it,” Aaron shot back. “Just leave me the hell alone,” he yelled over the thunder. He turned his back to Faith and started running.

“Aaron Charles, get your ass back here.” Faith stood her ground. He turned to her, his jaw set.

“How did you know my name?”

“I told you your brother talks about you. He cares a lot about you Aaron. I can only imagine how upset he is right now.” Faith stepped towards Aaron, until she could hold him.

“I don’t understand why this is happening.” Aaron stepped closer to Faith, his face softening considerably. “He can’t die. He’s Nick, he’s not supposed to die.”

“Come here, sweetheart,” Faith said, taking Aaron in her arms. “Believe me I understand,” she mumbled.

“So he doesn’t hate me?” Aaron asked.

“No, he doesn’t hate you.”

“Are you sure? Nick can hold a grudge if he wants to.” Aaron clung to Faith. She held his head against her shoulder and let him cry.

“I’m sure, Aaron. He needs you now.” They stood in the rain comforting each other. “Are you ready to go back to the house?”

“You’re sure he won’t be pissed at me. I said some bad things to him,” Aaron mumbled quietly.

“I’m sure, Aaron. Trust me, okay?” He only nodded. “You understand everything he told you right?”

“I think so. He told me he has a brain tumor and the docs can’t operate on him. He told me that he had six months to live but that was over four months ago. He told me things what could happen if they would operate. He told me a lot of things.”

“It must be a little overwhelming. I bet you thought this vacation would be swimming in the water, riding the boat and just hanging out with your big brother. Probably never thought it would be like this.”

“I didn’t expect any of this. Can we still do those other things though?” Aaron asked, wiping the mixture of tears and rain from his face.

“Yeah, you can. He’s still Nick. He’s fragile but he won’t break. What we need to remember is to not over do it.”

“Not to over do it. I can remember that.” They took their time, despite the rain, and walked back to the house. When they reached the walkway Aaron stopped.

“Aaron?”

“I don’t know if I can see him yet. I can’t,” Aaron sighed, bending over, his hand resting over his heart. “I can’t look at him.”

“I’ll be right by your side, Aaron. You don’t have to do this alone.”

“I have to do this alone, but I can’t. Not just yet. Can you tell him I was sick or something?” His eyes pleaded with her for her cooperation.

“He needs you, Aaron,” Faith said.

“I’ll be there for him but not yet. Just give me till tomorrow morning to deal with this. This is a lot for me to take in all at once.”

“Okay, tomorrow then. But, promise me, if you get scared about something you won’t run off. Come and talk to either Brian or myself. Brian will be here for the next few days. Got it?”

“Sure,” Aaron mumbled, walking past her. “I’m going up to my room. I’m not hungry or anything so don’t worry about me for dinner.” He opened and closed the door behind him, walking straight to the stairs.

Faith took a deep breath before entering the house. Brian and Nick were waiting for them.

Nick’s head was on Brian’s lap. His eyes, full of questions, rolled towards her.

“Just give him a day, Nicky, and he’ll be okay.” Now, if she only believed that herself.

Chapter Twenty

Nick rolled over, cringing when he saw the clock. 4:17 AM and he still hadn’t fallen asleep. He looked over at Faith, who was sleeping peacefully with the blankets wrapped around her. He moved as slowly as he could, not wanting to wake her. He smiled to himself when he left the room and she was still sleeping.

He was heading into the kitchen when he heard a muffled cry coming from the other room. Nick crept quietly towards the room. “Hello?” He couldn’t see anything in the darkness.

He heard a soft groan coming from inside the room but still wasn’t able to pinpoint the exact spot it was coming from. “Hello?”

“What are you doing up Nick?” Aaron asked, clearing his throat.

“What am I doing up? What are you doing up?”

“I asked you first,” Aaron sniffled.

“I couldn’t sleep. It happens sometimes. Why are you down here in the dark?”

“I don’t know. I wanted to go talk to you but I figured you were sleeping so I came in here instead. Everything that you and Faith said just hit me again and… It’s way too much to dump on me Nick.”

“Why don’t we go to your room and talk, Aaron?”

“No,” he frowned. “I don’t want to talk to you right now.”

“Aaron, please don’t shut me out. You need to talk to someone and I’m right here. I’ll listen to you. You can’t keep your feelings inside like this,” Nick said, still trying to find Aaron.

“Nick, I just don’t want to talk about it. I know I said I did but I can’t. It hurts to think about it,” he said quietly.

Nick finally figured out exactly where Aaron was in the room. He made his way towards Aaron, lowering himself to the floor next to him. “Why are you on the floor? It’s chilly down here.”

“It was easier to find me on the couch,” he said quietly.

Nick sighed. “So, you don’t want to talk to me about anything that’s going on?”

“No.”

“Nothing at all?”

“Nope, nothing at all.”

“Not even my baby?”

“We can talk about your baby. I’m gonna be an uncle,” Aaron said, sliding closer to Nick. He allowed Nick to put his arm around his shoulder. “I’m gonna be a good uncle too.”

“You’re gonna be a great uncle, Aaron. I need you to promise me one thing,” Nick said. “It’s the only thing I’ll ask of you and I’m pretty confident that you’ll be able to do it.”

“What is it, Nick? You know I’ll do just about everything for you and the baby,” Aaron said.

“Don’t let mom control him or her. That’s the last thing that Faith needs.”

“You got it, Nick.”

“Also, whether it’s a girl or a boy, you need to teach it how to play basketball when it starts walking.”

“Sure thing. Keep it away from mom and teach it basketball. Anything else?”

“Just be a great uncle. That’s all I ask. Basketball can come later,” Nick said softly, his grip on Aaron tightening slightly.

“Okay.”

They sat on the floor in silence, in darkness. Aaron could hear Nick’s heart beat.

“Aaron?”

“Yeah, Nick?” Aaron was chewing on the inside of his cheek. He was doing anything he could to keep himself from crying in front of his brother.

“I love you.”

That’s all it took. Nick comforted his younger brother for a long while as his body shook from the force of his cries. Before long they both fell asleep from pure exhaustion.

Faith woke up alone a few hours later. She figured Nick was up and in the kitchen making breakfast. She smelled the pancakes when she opened the door. “Nick?”

“Nope, it’s Brian,” he said, stacking another pancake on the already large pile. “Nick’s sleeping in the living room with Aaron.”

“Oh,” she said before heading that way.

“I already took some pictures of them. I hope you don’t mind, your camera was lying around,” Brian smiled, walking with her. “It was just too irresistible to pass up.”

Faith smiled when she saw the two of them lying together on the floor. Nick was twisted in an awful position but it was obvious he was trying to make Aaron comfortable. Aaron’s face was partially buried against Nick’s stomach. Each time Nick would take a breath, Aaron’s head raised. Nick’s hand was resting on Aaron’s back. Looking at Aaron’s puffy eyes, Faith knew he had cried himself to sleep.

“It’s sad but beautiful at the same time,” Brian whispered, startling her.

“Very sad,” Faith agreed.

Nick shifted slightly, groaning loudly when a pain shot down his back.

Aaron’s head jerked, his eyes fluttering open. “Morning Faith, Brian,” he croaked. He slowly sat up, looking down at Nick. Nick opened his eyes as well. “Can you get up Nick? You look a little stiff.”

“Ya think,” he growled. His body screamed with pain as he pulled himself up. “How you doing?”

Aaron shrugged, “Okay, I guess.”

“Okay.” They stared at each other for a minute before Nick smiled. “Someone’s making breakfast, maybe we should eat.”

“Food is good, I can eat.”

“You need to eat, Aaron, you’re skinner than AJ,” Nick laughed.

“I’m not skinner than AJ. I’m just a lot younger than him.”

Aaron helped Nick up off the floor. Nick wrapped an arm around Aaron’s shoulder as the four of them headed into the kitchen. Faith, Nick, Brian and Aaron sat around the table eating their breakfast. “Guys, what do you want to do today?” Aaron asked.

Brian shrugged, Nick answered, “Whatever you want to do Aaron. What do you have in mind?”

“I just want to play on the beach. You all up to that?”

They each nodded. They each needed a distraction.

After breakfast and once they were dressed they headed for the beach. “What do you want to do?” Nick asked.

“Football. I wanna play football,” Aaron smiled.

“Football it is.” Nick ran into the house to grab the football. He came back a minute later tossing the football in the air. “I get Faith, you get Brian.”

“I’m not playing,” Faith laughed. “I don’t know anything about football and I’m pregnant. There’s no way in hell you’re getting me to play.”

“Aww, come on baby,” Nick pouted. “You know you wanna play.”

“I’m not playing, I’ll watch. I’ll get you food and stuff.”

“You know you wanna tackle me though,” he mumbled, nibbling on her neck.

“I know I do,” she sighed, “but I can’t this time. No football for me and the baby.”

He stuck his lower lip out as he backed away from her. “Fine, we’ll play without you.” He turned to Brian and Faith, tossing the football to them. “It’s two on one, me and Aaron against you, Bri.”

“No way, I’m getting Aaron.”

“He’s my brother, I get him.”

“I’m a hell of a lot smaller than the two of you put together, I get him,” Brian smiled.

“Fine, be that way. Take my baby brother away from me,” Nick smiled. “I can still kick your ass.”

“We’ll see about that,” Aaron said, running towards Brian. “What’s our strategy?”

Brian shrugged, looking down at the ball in his hands. “Our strategy is to not let Nick get past us.”

Aaron laughed, “Okay,” taking the ball from Brian and beginning the first play.

They played for two hours before they took a short break. “How am I looking baby?” Nick asked Faith.

She couldn’t hold back her smile, “You’re doing great Nick. You’re not behind by much.”

“And how are we doing Faith?” Aaron asked sliding his arm around her waist.

“You guys are doing really well. You’re up by about 14 points,” she smiled. “Nick, I thought you were gonna kick their ass?”

“Plans change,” he shrugged. “I’ll get them back when they least expect it. I just need some water before I do it.” He grabbed one of the bottles of water Faith had brought out for them. “You two better watch it, I’m coming back.”

“Sure, Nick,” Aaron laughed. “That’s if you can even get the ball from us.”

Nick played his hardest when they stepped back onto the sand. He managed to get the ball from his brother twice and each time he did Aaron would tackle him. The third time proved to be too much for Nick. “Oh shit,” Aaron mumbled. Nick started chasing after him, stumbling over his feet before he managed to grab Aaron.

The two fell into the sand. Nick landed on top of Aaron, who was trying to push him off. Aaron couldn’t stop laughing even has he wiggled himself out from under Nick. Nick grabbed his foot pulling him down to the ground. “You are so dead, Aaron,” Nick laughed.

He stood, pulling Aaron up with him, his hand clasped firmly around his wrist. “You aren’t going anywhere but with me.”

“Oh shit. Brian, help me please. I’ll do anything you want me to do,” Aaron yelled.

“Nope, sorry, I’m going with the ‘Nick is bigger than me and could easy toss me into the ocean’ defense and staying out of it,” Brian laughed.

“Faith? Come on, can’t you help me out? He’s your husband. Deny him sex for the next week.”

Faith began blushing when Brian nudged her arm. “You know he’ll drop him if you say you’ll deny Nicky nookie. I say let Nick at him.”

“I’m with you Bri,” Faith patted his leg. “Sorry Aaron, can’t do that.”

“You’ll have a free babysitter for the rest of your life,” Aaron yelled. “Nick, please don’t throw me in the water. I still have my sneakers on.”

“I suggest you kick your sneakers off, Aaron. You’re going for a swim.”

Aaron kicked at his feet trying to get his sneakers off. He managed to get one of them off before Nick started splashing into the water. “Oh shit, this is cold.”

“Yeah, it’s cold. Now, don’t throw me in,” Aaron laughed.

“Too late,” Nick couldn’t help but smile. He threw Aaron into the water amid the sound of his protests.

When Aaron came up for air he glared at his brother. “You suck.”

“Nah, I don’t. You know you love me.”

“Of course I love you, but you’re a big jerk right now,” Aaron smiled.

“Fine, let me help you up.” Nick extended his hand to Aaron only to be pulled down with him. “You little shit.” Nick dunked his brother and laughed when Aaron spit a mouthful of water at him.

“Now that’s how they need to spend today,” Brian said, his arm wrapping around Faith’s shoulder. “I think it’s good for both of them.” Faith silently agreed with a nod of her head. It was good for her too, to see Nick that carefree.

Chapter Twenty One

Nick and Faith were lying on the couch watching television. His chin was resting on the top of her head and his fingers danced lazily on her stomach. “I love you, Faithy.”

“I love you too.” Those three words meant so much to her. Especially now. She wasn’t sure he even noticed because he did listen to her. He had stopped counting the days. She hadn’t. He had no idea that his six-month mark had come and gone. He had no idea he was supposed to die just over two months ago.

“What are you thinking about?” He asked, rubbing her stomach.

“I’m thinking that if you keep rubbing my tummy like that I am going to fall asleep,” she sighed.

His hand stopped moving. “Is that better?”

“It was just perfect, what you were doing. You didn’t have to stop.”

“I didn’t want you falling asleep on me.” He closed his eyes. He felt the beginning of another headache coming on. Then he felt something against his hand. “What was that?”

“I think the baby just kicked.”

He pressed his hand against her stomach, giggling when he felt it again.

“The baby just definitely kicked,” Faith smiled.

“Can you make it kick again? That was so cool.” Nick laughed. His hands ran over her stomach again. “I still can’t believe part of me is inside you. How far long are you? How much longer until the baby is born?” Nick asked kissing her shoulder.

“We are six months pregnant Nick,” she said quietly.

“So in three months there will be a little us running around?” He asked thoughtfully.

“In three months, that’s right,” Faith said. She wondered how long it would take him to it figure out.

“Do you want to find out what it is?” He asked. “I’ve been meaning to ask you. I know I go to the doctor with you every two weeks and I love watching her do the sonogram. So, do you think we can find out what the baby is?”

She knew why he was asking. “Um,” she started. “I want to be surprised.”

“You do?”

“Yeah, I want to be surprised.” Nick leaned his forehead against the back of Faith’s head. “You can find out if you’d like though. I know you want to know.”

“You mean one of us can find out? That’s possible?”

“Anything’s possible, Nick. If you want to know the sex of the baby you can find out. Just don’t slip and tell me.”

“I won’t,” he smiled. “Are you sure it’s okay with you?”

“Yeah, I’m very sure Nick.” She pushed her body back against his allowing him to hold her tighter.

“When can we go so I can find out? I’d like to go now…” he laughed.

“My next appointment is on Monday. Can you hold out that long?” She asked, her arm resting against his.

“Yeah, I guess I can wait that long. It’s only a few days away, right? I can last a few days.”

“Good,” she said. “Do you want me to make dinner?”

“No, you and me are going out. I feel good today,” he smiled climbing around her. “Go get changed, we’re going to the Hideaway.”

Nick helped her up, nibbling on her ear. “Wear one of your pregnancy dresses. I like those best on you.”

Faith shook her head when she stepped into the bedroom. She knew exactly which dress she’d wear for Nick. She pulled her hair up, slipped on the dress and called for Nick. “I’m almost ready.” She grabbed her sandals and left her bedroom. “Nick, you ready?”

Faith walked into the living room. “Nick?” Is he blatantly ignoring me? “Nick, where did you go?” The front door was open. “Nick?” She walked over to the door, seeing his shirt lying on the porch. She took a deep breath, looking up towards the water. “Oh god,” she groaned.

She found him. He was standing knee-deep in the water, naked. “Nick, what are you doing?” She asked as she finally reached him. The run from the house to the shore seemed longer today.

He stared at her before looking back towards the water. “Nick?”

“The water was calling me. Who are you?”

Oh shit. “My name is Faith. What was the water saying to you?”

“It just called me. Why is your name Faith?”

Faith sighed, “because my father liked that name. Why don’t we go back to my house?”

“You’re a stranger. I’m not allowed to go anywhere with strangers,” Nick said, his eyes wide. “I’m not supposed to talk to you. I can get in trouble.”

“I promise you won’t get into trouble. Just come with me. I can put some clothes on you,” she pleaded, taking his hand.

“Don’t touch me. You’re not allowed to touch me.”

“Nick, come with me.” Ignoring his protests she began dragging him towards the house.

“Let go of me. My mom is gonna be mad if she sees you with me. You’re a stranger.”

“I’m not a stranger, Nick,” she sighed. “We need to get you back into the house now.”

“How do you know my name? Why are you wearing my friend’s dress?”

“I’m your wife, Nick. You and me, we’re married, and I’m having your baby. God, I hate it when you get like this,” she cried, pushing him away from her.

“Wife? Baby? I don’t understand,” he said, his eyes widening as she began crying harder.

“Of course you don’t understand. Just come back to the house with me. You can’t stay out here naked. What if someone sees you?”

“The water was calling me though. I need to answer.”

“Nick, please. If you ever loved me you’d come with me.”

“I love you? Am I allowed to love you?”

“Yes, you’re allowed.” She grabbed his hand and placed it over her stomach. “Do you feel this? To you feel that movement? That’s our baby. Please just come back into the house.”

His lower lip began quivering. “That’s my baby?”

She nodded. “And you’re my wife?”

She nodded again.

“Why can’t I remember?”

“You will remember. Just come back to the house with me so I can get you into some warm clothes. Maybe after a nap you’ll remember. How does that sound?”

“Can I have some hot chocolate?”

“You can have some hot chocolate.”

“With the little marshmallows?”

“With the little marshmallows.”

“Okay, I’ll go with you.”

Faith grabbed his hand bringing him back to the house as quickly as possible. She closed the front door after he was inside. “Follow me, Nick.”

He obediently followed her into their bedroom.

“Stand right there and don’t move,” she said softly. She rummaged through Nick’s dresser until she found a pair of boxers. She grabbed those and a pair of fleece sweatpants. “Do you need help getting dressed?”

“I can put my own underwear on.” He took the boxers from her and stared at them. “These ain’t underwear, these are shorts.”

“They are shorts underwear. They’re comfortable.”

Nick looked from her face and back to the boxers. “I don’t like them.”

“This is all you have Nick,” Faith said, holding the sweatpants in her hand.

“Then I won’t wear any underwear.”

“Fine, don’t wear any underwear. Can you put your pants on or do you need help?” she asked. She hated this helpless feeling. She hated knowing that she was losing patience with him. She hated knowing that she was losing him.

“I can do them.” She handed him the sweatpants and watched as he struggled for a moment before he was able to pull them up. She held a sweatshirt in her hand. “Do you need help with this?”

He thought for a moment before he nodded.

“Okay, sit on the bed and I’ll put it on you.”

Nick sat on the bed, raising his arms into the air.

She pulled the sweatshirt over his head and smiled softly at him. “There you go, all dressed.” She ran her finger over his face.

“I feel funny without underwear on,” he said softly, staring at her stomach. “That’s the baby?” Faith nodded taking a step closer to Nick. Without warning he pushed her dress up over her stomach and stared. “That’s my baby?” She nodded again. He rested his head against the swell of her stomach. “This is my baby?”

“Yes, it’s your baby.” She played with his hair until he sat up.

“Can I have hot chocolate and little marshmallows now?”

Faith nodded, leading him out of the bedroom and to the living room.

“Can I do it?”

“Let me do it. You sit here and watch TV until it’s ready. I’ll bring you your hot chocolate with marshmallows, okay?” She handed him the remote after turning the TV on. “You can watch anything you want to watch.”

He nodded. He flipped through the channels until he found something he enjoyed. Faith couldn’t help but smile when she heard him sing along to the theme song to Scooby Doo. While the water heated on the stove she picked up the phone and dialed.

“Hello, insane asylum.”

Faith didn’t want Nick to hear her on the phone. She whispered, “Brian, we may have a problem.”

“How serious?” Brian asked.

“Serious enough for me to call you. I have to get back to Nick. Do you have any plans for the next few weeks?” she asked quietly.

“Weeks? Well, we’ll be there as soon as we can. I’ll see if we can get a flight to Miami tonight and drive down. We may be able to get a connecting flight to Marathon. I’ll have to check it out. He’ll be okay, Faith. He’ll get past this one too.”

“Can I have my hot chocolate and marshmallows now?” Nick screamed.

“It’s almost finished, Nick. Watch some more cartoons.” She took a deep breath before turning back to the phone. “I hope you’re right.”

Chapter Twenty two

There was a knock on the front door. “I’ll be right back Nick.”

He nodded, his eyes not leaving the TV as Faith walked around him. She was grateful to see Brian and Leighanne when she opened the door. “Thank god you two are here.”

She let them in the house, returning to her seat next to Nick.

“There are strangers in the house,” Nick whispered, moving closer to her. “Why are there strangers in the house?”

“They aren’t strangers Nick. They’re our friends. That’s Brian and Leighanne. You remember them, don’t you?” She asked, hoping he’d remember.

He shook his head staring at the TV.

“Nick, Brian’s going to sit with you for a minute while I go into the bedroom. I need to change.”

“But I like the dress,” he sighed. “And where’s she gonna be?” He asked, looking at Leighanne.

“Nick, I’m not taking the dress off. I’ll leave the dress on for you. And Leighanne is coming with me. I’ll leave you two boys alone.” Nick’s eyes widened, his head shaking softly. “Brian is a very good boy, Nick. He’s fun, I promise.” Nick looked up at her, his head shaking still shaking softly, his eyes full of fear. “It’s okay, Nick, Brian is a good guy. I won’t be long.”

“Can I come with you?”

Faith ran her fingers through his hair. “I’m just going to slip some shorts on. I will be right back.”

He nodded, watching her and Leighanne leave the room together. Brian took the opportunity to sit next to Nick. “Nick?”

Nick jumped in the seat, slowly turning to Brian. “I’m not wearing any underwear,” he whispered.

Brian shrugged, whispering back, “Me either.”

“Did the girl almost make you put yours on too?” He asked.

He shook his head, “No. Sometimes I just don’t put them on. Don’t tell my girl though. She’ll make me wear them.”

Nick laughed, “I won’t tell. Where did Faith go? My head hurts again. She makes my head feel better when she’s here.”

“She’ll be out in a minute. Your girl and my girl are fine for now. What are you watching?”

“Cartoons. Cartoons are fun,” he said biting his lip.

“Which cartoon are you watching now?” Brian asked. He was trying to get Nick to open up slightly to him.

Nick scratched the top of his head, his face scrunching in pain. “My head really hurts now. Where is Faith? She can make the hurt go away.”

“Can I try to make the hurt go away? Leighanne says I’m good at that,” Brian offered. Just give me something to work with Nick.

“What can you do?” He asked quietly, his eyes still on the TV.

“Well…”

“Can I ask you something? You have to promise you won’t tell Faith I asked you though. I can tell she’s mad at me and I don’t want her to be mad at me.”

Brian very cautiously moved closer to Nick. When he saw Nick wasn’t moving, he put his arm around him and pulled him so his head leaned against his shoulder. “Nick, Faith could never be mad at you. She loves you with all her heart.”

“My baby is in her belly. I know that.”

“Faith is just a little frustrated right now,” Brian tried explaining. “Everything was going fine and now things are starting to change.”

“But she’s mad at me,” Nick said, moving closer to Brian. “I like you. You make me feel safe.”

“I like you too Nick,” Brian said, kissing the top of his head. “And Faith’s not mad at you. I promise you that. What did you want to ask me about Nick?”

Nick sighed heavily, “why can’t I remember a lot of stuff? Faith keeps telling me that in her belly is my baby and that we’re married and I know it’s in my head. It’s like looking at a photo album in my head. That’s why it keeps hurting.”

“Why don’t you try going to bed and sleeping for a little while? Sometimes that helps me when my head hurts,” Brian suggested.

“Can I sleep on the couch?” He asked. “Faith is with your girl. I don’t want to bother either of them.”

“It won’t be a bother, Nick, if Faith knows you want to sleep. Maybe she’ll sleep with you?” Brian asked, his fingers running through Nick’s hair. “Do you want me to ask her, Nick?”

Faith and Leighanne sat in the kitchen listening to Brian talk to Nick. “He’ll be okay, Faith,” Leighanne said. “He has to be. It’s not his time yet.” All Faith could do was nod, praying Leighanne was right.

“I’m not allowed to sleep with girls,” Nick said softly. “That’s wrong.”

“You’ve slept with her before, Nicky. She’s having your baby.”

“I can’t remember making the baby,” Nick said sadly. “Can you stay with me when I sleep in my room? I don’t want Faith to be mad at me though if you come too.”

Faith squeezed her eyes shut allowing a few of her tears to slip out. Leaving Leighanne in the kitchen she walked back into the living room. “Nicky, if you want Brian to stay in our bed tonight he can. But that’s just for tonight, okay?”

“You sure?” Nick and Brian both asked.

“Positive.”

“Okay,” Nick nodded, “I’ll go to sleep now.” Nick jumped up from the couch and headed towards the bedroom without any warning. “Faith, I need shorts.”

Faith gasped when she walked into the bedroom. He was sitting on the side of the bed once again naked. “Nick, you have to stop taking your clothes off. Here are your shorts,” she said, squatting before him and slipping his feet through the openings.

“Where’s Brian?” He asked, standing up so Faith could finish with his shorts.

“He’s changing into his pajamas,” Faith assured Nick. “He’ll be here in a minute.”

Nick nodded, crawling into the bed. “Come here,” he said quietly.

For a minute there it almost sounded like Nick, Faith thought.

“Faith, I wanna say good night to my baby. Are you and Brian’s girl sleeping in here too?”

“Only if you want us too,” she said, crawling towards Nick on the bed. She knelt next to him. She watched him pull her dress up, his fingers running softly over her stomach. “Good night baby. I’ll see you in the morning.” He planted a kiss on the top of her stomach before getting comfortable in the bed. “I’m done.”

Faith kissed his forehead before moving off the bed.

“I want you too,” Nick said watching Brian walk across the room. “I want you and her to sleep in here too. Like a big party,” Nick smiled.

“Yeah, a big party,” Faith agreed.

“Wait, I know,” Nick said, hopping out of bed. “Girls get the bed, boys get the sleeping bags. Do we have sleeping bags?” He asked.

Faith nodded, heading towards the closet. “We have a big air mattress too. Do you want that?” Nick nodded, climbing out of the bed and moving behind Faith. He followed her around the house until she found the box with the air mattress. “It’ll take a few minutes to inflate,” she said, showing Nick how to pump the air into it once they returned to the bedroom.

Brian knelt next to Nick watching him closely. “You need help?”

“No, I can do it,” he smiled proudly. “You and me are gonna sleep on this.” Nick sat quietly with the pump going strong until he felt he was finished. “I’m done.”

Brian sat on the air mattress, giving Nick a thumbs-up when he felt it was perfect. Nick bounced on the mattress, laughing when Brian shot up. “That was fun.”

“Lots of fun,” Brian agreed, holding onto the mattress. “Let’s not do that again though.”

“Okay.” Faith tossed a sheet and a blanket towards the two men. She knelt beside Nick, running her hand over his cheek. “Goodnight Nick.” She pressed her lips against his forehead and pulled back slightly to look at him.

Very quietly, with his eyes closed, Nick whispered, “goodnight to you too Faithy.” He ran his hand over her stomach before grabbing the sheet from Brian and spreading it over his body. Faith tucked a pillow under his head and the three of them sat by waiting for him to fall into a deep sleep.

Over the course of half an hour, Nick’s breathing became deep and rhythmic. He was definitely asleep.

Faith nodded towards the living room, Leighanne following behind her.

Brian slowly rolled off the air mattress, not wanting to jolt Nick awake. He pulled the blanket over Nick before joining the women in the living room.

Brian sighed heavily sitting between Faith and Leighanne on the couch. “I had no idea it was like this.”

“It’s happened a few times before but it’s never lasted this long. He normally snaps out of it. What the hell am I going to do? What if he wakes up like this?” Faith asked. She was petrified for Nick. “What if he never remembers again?” She ran her hands over her stomach, biting her lip when she felt the baby kick.

“He remembers some things, so that’s a good sign. He called you Faithy,” Leighanne offered. “That’s his name for you, isn’t it?”

Faith absentmindedly nodded, staring down at her own hand on her stomach.

“Maybe we should wait and see how he is in the morning?”

“Yeah, Faith. Maybe he just needed to sleep this off?” Brian said, placing his hand over hers. He smiled softly when he felt the baby kick. “That little guy in there knows too. Nick will be okay in the morning.”

“Thanks guys. I think I’d go crazy myself if I was here alone. I love him so much and it just kills…” Faith cut herself off. “Did you hear that?”

Brian and Leighanne strained their ears trying to listen. “Faith, what…”

“Shh, I heard it again. Nick probably rolled off the air mattress.” Brian laughed following her back towards the bedroom. “He’s never rolled off the bed but he has…”

The color drained from her face when she walked into the room. Brian managed to catch her as her knees buckled. This was far from Nick falling off the bed. This was a big problem.

Chapter Twenty three

“Leigh, I need you to grab Faith. I think she passed out. She just sort of fell into my arms. Then call an ambulance. Tell them to get here fast,” Brian said, trying to keep his voice calm and failing miserably.

Leighanne did as she was told, trying not to look at Nick in the bedroom. Brian managed to get Faith into her arms.

“Bring her to the couch and call. Then worry about her. She’ll be fine, just in shock.”

“What do I tell them, Bri?” Leighanne asked once Faith was on the couch. She headed back towards the bedroom with the phone in her hand. Brian was leaning over Nick, holding his head still. She watched in horror as Nick’s body convulsed on the floor. Her face was pale as she dialed 911.

“911, what’s your emergency?” She was greeted with a harsh voice. “Hello, what’s your emergency?”

“He’s shaking,” she whispered. “Brian, what’s wrong with him?”

“He’s having a seizure, he won’t stop. Tell them to get here fast.”

“Your friend is having a seizure, ma’am?” the operator asked after hearing Brian.

Leighanne nodded, “Yeah, he is. Can you send someone over? This is the first time he’s had one. His body is shaking and Brian can’t stop him.”

“Just give me the address and we’ll send someone over,” the operator said.

Leighanne quickly gave her Nick’s address, watching as Brian tried rolling Nick to his side.

“The ambulance is on its way. Is there anyone with him now?”

“Yeah, Brian,” she said softly.

“Hand the phone to Brian, ma’am, I need to go over a few things with him.”

Leighanne walked cautiously over to Brian letting him know the operator wanted to talk to him. In the process of handing him the phone she made the mistake of looking at Nick’s face.

“Oh shit,” she mumbled. His head was tilted back slightly, his eyes partially open. All she could see were the whites of his eyes.

“Leigh, get out there with Faith. She needs you right now. Get a face cloth, get some cool water and keep dabbing her face with it. You stay with her, I’ll stay with Nicky,” Brian said, shifting his body so she couldn’t look at Nick any longer.

“Okay,” she said, her teeth clenched tight as she walked from the room.

“Sir?” the operator asked.

“I’m here. I was just handling another crisis in the house,” Brian said. “I know what I’m doing with Nick though. I’ve done this before.”

“Are you sure sir? As I told the lady, an ambulance is on its way. I can instruct you on how to keep your friend out of any further danger.”

“I’m good. Thanks though. My wife will watch for the ambulance and let them in when they get here. Thank you,” Brian said, hanging up quickly so he could turn his full attention back to Nick.

“Come on Nicky, you can’t do this now. Faith needs you, the baby needs you, we all need you.” If Nick heard him, Brian never knew. Nick’s body shook violently, his head slamming against the hardwood floor. “Oh shit. Nicky what the hell is going on with you?”

Brian heard his wife directing the paramedics toward the bedroom. Brian stepped aside when he sensed the men enter the room. “He hit his head on the floor. I’m not sure if that’s going to affect him,” Brian said, allowing his voice to trail off.

“Will you be riding to the hospital with him?” Brian nodded. Faith was in no shape for this. He would do it. The girls would follow behind in Nick’s car. Brian bit his thumbnail as he watched them secure Nick’s neck before lifting him to the stretcher.

They ran an IV into Nick’s arm before bringing him out to the ambulance. Brian followed them out of the bedroom, mumbling something softly to them. He brought his sad eyes up to meet Faith’s. “Faith, I’m gonna go over in the ambulance with him. Leigh’s gonna follow behind in Nick’s car. Is this okay with you? I didn’t think it would be good for you and the baby to see him like this.”

She nodded slowly telling Leighanne where she could find Nick’s keys.

“I’ll meet you at the hospital.” With that said, Brian ran out the door.

“Faith, we should go. I’m not sure how to get there,” Leighanne started.

Faith stared at her, watched her lips move, knew she was saying something, yet never heard it. She was numb. This couldn’t be it, she couldn’t be losing him now. She managed to pull her body to the couch and sit, unsure of what to do.

“Faith, we should go to the hospital.”

She only shook her head. Faith slid off the couch, landing hard on the floor. “I thought I could do this,” she whispered. “I thought I was strong enough to handle this. I was so wrong, Leighanne. I can’t bear to lose him, not now. He doesn’t even realize that he’s alive two months longer than the doctor told him he would be. He was always counting the days until he hit six months but I convinced him to stop. Two more months out of him is not enough.”

Leighanne slid on the floor besides her. “I wouldn’t know what I’d do if this was happening to Brian.”

“I don’t know what the hell to do. I love him so much but I’m not sure I can handle this. His body was just convulsing in the bedroom and I couldn’t do anything to help him. What good am I for him if I can’t be here to help him when he needs me?” Leighanne wrapped a protective arm around her shoulder. Faith sighed, “Sometimes late at night I sit up and watch him sleep. I just watch him. He looks so peaceful and beautiful. You’d never know anything was wrong with him.” Faith took a deep breath before she continued. “Sometimes I regret saying yes to marrying him.”

Leighanne closed her eyes, resting her forehead against Faith’s.

“You must think I’m such a horrible person for admitting something like that.”

“Not at all. I’m not sure if I would’ve been able to say yes to Brian if I knew what you knew about Nick when he asked. I really would’ve had to think hard about it.”

“You would’ve said no?” She asked.

“I don’t know. It’s breaking my heart seeing Nick like this. I’d like to think I’d say yes, but I honestly have no idea what I would’ve said.” The two of them sat quietly on the floor for a long time before Leighanne asked, “should we get going? Brian will begin to worry if we don’t show up right away.”

Faith nodded, allowing Leighanne to help her stand. “You won’t say anything to Brian about this, will you? I do love Nick, I just never realized how much it could hurt.”

“This is between you and me, Faith.”

Faith nodded. “Let’s go make sure my husband is okay.” Leighanne helped her out to the car. They rode to the hospital in silence. They both didn’t know what to expect when they got there.

With her arm around Faith, Leighanne found Brian pacing nervously around the waiting room. “Bri, what’s going on?”

“Where have you two been? I’ve been worried about both of you and the doctors won’t let me see Nick,” Brian said, taking them both into his arms.

“Faith needed a little girl talk before we left,” Leighanne sighed. “Why won’t they let you see Nick?”

“The doctor came out for a minute and said they were taking him down for another CAT scan. He said they’d get the results back tonight and talk to you about them, Faith. That’s if you’re up to it. We can both go in with you.”

Faith nodded, walking away from the two of them. She needed to sit. She needed the room to stop spinning. “Faith, can I get you anything?”

“Just a water.”

Leighanne nodded towards her. She left Brian alone with Faith. “He’s gonna be okay, right? How long has he been down there getting the CAT scan?” Faith asked.

Brian sat beside her, his arm around her back. “They brought him down there as soon as we came in. That was maybe fifteen minutes ago.”

She nodded.

“Is everything okay, Faith?”

She nodded again.

“If you need to talk to anyone promise me you’ll come to either me or Leigh. You can count on the two of us.”

“I know. I talked to Leigh back at the house,” she said quietly. Brian pulled Faith into his arms as Leighanne returned with three bottles of water. Then they waited.

The three of them were dozing when the doctor entered the waiting room. “Mr. Littrell?” Brian jerked awake at the sound of the voice. He shook the girls lightly, waking them up to hear the doctor. “Let’s move to my office,” the doctor offered. The three of them stood and followed the doctor.

Faith and Leighanne sat in the chairs across from Dr. Kellerman’s desk, Brian stood beside Faith. He declined the offer of a chair. He wanted to stand.

Dr. Kellerman took his glasses from his face and rubbed his eyes with his thumb and forefinger. “I’m going to be perfectly honest with you, Mrs. Carter. I wish I had better news for you.”

Brian felt his stomach drop. He could only image how Faith was feeling, and they haven’t even heard the news yet.

“What happened to him tonight?”

“He had a seizure and as a result, suffered a mild concussion. This may very well happen again once I clear him to go home.” The doctor walked over to the wall and flipped the light switch illuminating the pictures captured from the CAT scan. “The tumor has grown since his last CAT scan. You can see the difference between the ones we took about eight months ago,” he pointed to the earlier scans, “compared to the ones we took tonight.”

“What does this mean for Nick, Dr. Kellerman?” Brian asked.

“I cannot say how rapidly…”

“Doc, just lay it on us. It’s too late to be jerked around. What are we looking at with Nick?” Brian asked. Leighanne held Faith’s hand between hers.

“I’m sorry. This is the beginning. His mental state will change, he’ll begin to forget everything around him. He will have clear moments of lucidity, however, they will be few and far between. He probably will lose his ability to walk, talk, and possibly see. He may have emotional outbursts at any given moment. You’ll see a change in his personality, his moods and his ability to concentrate. I cannot say how soon any of this will occur. You are aware it has already started. Brian informed me of his actions earlier today. This wasn’t the first time this has happened, was it Faith?” He asked.

Slowly she nodded her head. “It’s happened before. Never this long though. He usually snaps out of it about an hour. We were getting ready to go out and celebrate. You gave him six months to live and we’re on the eighth month right now.”

“I’m sorry to be the bearer of bad news Faith,” Dr. Kellerman said, his head hanging low.

“Can we take him home?” Brian asked. “Between the three of us I’m sure we can handle Nick.”

“I’d like to keep him overnight for observations. He did suffer a mild concussion when he was seizing. Faith, you’re more than welcome to stay with him. You two can come back in the morning.”

“We’ll wait in the waiting room. We need to be here for Faith,” Brian said, shaking the doctor’s hand. “Can we all see him right now?”

Dr. Kellerman nodded. “We have him set up in a private room. If you all just follow me,” he said, leading them out of the room. Faith walked in a daze between Brian and Leighanne.

“You two have five minutes. Faith, we’ll have a bed wheeled in for you.”

She nodded, taking a seat beside the bed.

Brian lifted Nick’s hand squeezing gently. “You’ll be okay buddy.”

Leighanne kissed his forehead before kneeling in front of Faith. “We’ll help you get through this.”

All she could do was nod.

“We’ll be in the waiting room if you need us.”

Faith waited until she was alone before she broke down. Through her sobs, she managed to pull herself out of the chair and around to the other side of Nick’s bed. She climbed into the bed, resting her head over his chest. “Come on Nick, fight this,” she mumbled.

She swallowed deeply finally bringing herself to look at him. He was sleeping like a baby. She pressed her lips softly against his. “We’ll help you, Nicky. We all love you.” Faith moved back down against him, her head against his chest, her hand against his heart. She stared at the wall wondering what the next few days, few months, will be like.

Faith couldn’t sleep that night. Her mind kept replaying the doctor’s words. Nick could lose everything. The thought made her sick to her stomach.

Nick shifted slightly in the bed, a slight moan escaping his throat. “Faith?”

“Nicky? How are you feeling?” Faith asked, her grogginess apparent in her voice.

“I have a little headache but I can deal with it. Where am I?” He asked, his arm wrapping around her back.

“In the hospital. We had a small problem yesterday. Brian and Leighanne will be staying with us for a while.” She watched the color drain from his face. He knew something was wrong. “Don’t worry Nick.”

“Don’t worry? What do you mean don’t worry? If Brian and Leigh are here that means something awful had to happen. Just tell me, baby, what happened yesterday?”

“You weren’t yourself yesterday. It normally lasts around an hour but this time it lasted the majority of the day. I found you naked,” she stopped for a moment when she heard him gasp, “in the ocean. You insisted the ocean called out to you. That’s why you were out there.”

His eyes rested on a smudge mark on the ceiling. “What else?”

“You had a seizure last night. Brian said you hit your head on the floor in our room. You have a mild concussion. That’s why you’re still here. The doctor wanted to make sure you were okay overnight.”

Nick nodded.

Faith wiped the few tears that fell from his face.

“There’s more, isn’t there? This all concerns me, Faithy. What’s wrong with me? What did the doctor say? I have a right to know,” he said softly.

“I know you do,” she said, her hand running over his stomach. She waited a moment before she started to explain. “Dr. Kellerman took another CAT scan of your brain. He said the tumor has grown since your last one. He also said that yesterday was the beginning of how things will be. He wasn’t sure how rapidly things will go,” she said softly.

“Basically that means I’m starting to die,” he said just as softly.

“Basically, yeah.” Neither knew what to say. She rested her head against his chest once again, each of them thinking the same thing. How long?

Chapter Twenty four

The two months seemed to fly by almost uneventfully. Nick had his moments when he couldn’t remember anyone or anything. Faith woke up many times alone, only to find him sitting at the shoreline rocking himself. Each time with little effort she managed to get him back inside the house.

Today had started out as a normal day.

Faith and Leighanne were lounging around on the beach watching Brian and Nick fool around with Aaron and Nick’s three sisters, BJ, Leslie and Angel. Nick’s parents were at a hotel not too far away. Nick made it very clear he did not want his mother around. Out of breath, BJ plopped on the sand between the two women. “He has so much energy. I like seeing him like this. He’s so excited about this little one too,” she smiled rubbing her hand lightly over Faith’s stomach.

“Today is definitely a change from yesterday. Yesterday was by far his worst,” Faith said, her eyes not leaving her husband. She smiled as he tripped over his own foot landing on Aaron.

“Get off me you big oaf,” Aaron laughed. Aaron ran down the beach chasing after his twin, leaving Nick behind.

Faith sensed something was wrong. She watched Nick with worried eyes. His fingers were poking at his foot, his ankle, his leg. Brian was beside him, questioning him. She closed her eyes. This was the moment she was dreading.

“Nick, buddy, what’s wrong?” Brian asked, poking his leg as well.

“Don’t tell Faith, okay?” He asked, nodding at Brian. He waited for Brian to nod before continuing. “I can’t feel my leg. It just went numb. Isn’t that weird?” Nick asked, sighing.

“Yeah, Nick. Do you think you can stand?” Nick shrugged. “Should I get Aaron to help? He’s strong for his age.” Nick nodded. Brian turned his attention, screaming down the beach. “Hey, Aaron, get your scrawny ass over here. I need your help for a minute.”

Aaron jogged over to Nick and Brian. “What’s up, Bri?”

“I need you to help me get him inside. He hurt his ankle when he fell,” Brian said.

“I didn’t hurt my ankle, Bri, I can’t feel my legs,” he said, his eyes wide. “You knew that, why did you lie to him?”

“Nick, let’s just get you inside for now, okay? I’ll explain in the house. We don’t want to worry Faith do we?”

“No, we love Faith,” Nick smiled. “We don’t want to hurt Faith.”

“No, we don’t,” Brian said softly. Aaron grabbed one of Nick’s arms and pulled it over his shoulder. Brian did the same with the other. “Can you move your other leg?”

“Maybe,” Nick laughed.

“Let’s move Aaron. If he can’t move it, we’ll drag him,” Brian somberly told him. Nick hardly cooperated as they walked past their wives. With his jaw clenched, Brian said, “You all wait out here. We’ll be right back.”

Aaron and Brian helped Nick up the stairs, Brian using his free hand to open the door.

Leighanne stopped Faith from going into the house. “Give them a minute, Faith. I’m sure it’s nothing.”

Brian and Aaron walked Nick to the couch. “Aaron, stay with him. Do whatever he wants no matter how ridiculous. I’m calling the doctor.” Aaron nodded watching Brian leave him alone with Nick.

“What’s your name?” Nick asked, his finger drawing circles on his leg.

“Aaron,” he said softly. “I’m your brother.”

“My brother?” He asked. He was tugging on his lower lip. “Are you my baby brother?”

“Yeah,” Aaron said.

“You’re bigger than a baby. Faith is having a baby,” Nick said proudly. “I made the baby.”

“Good for you,” Aaron forced a smile on his face. He patted Nick’s leg and shifted closer to him. “Nick, can you hold me until Brian comes out?”

Nick shrugged, a smile plastered on his face. “Sure.” Nick pulled Aaron onto his lap. He forced his head on his shoulder and his arms wrapped tightly around Aaron’s small frame.

“I love you Nick.”

“I love you too, um,” Nick said, scratching his head, “what’s your name again?”

“Aaron,” he said softly. He brought his arms up around Nick’s neck and held him.

“Yeah, right. I love you too Aaron.”

For the first time in months, Aaron allowed himself to cry.

Brian thumbed quickly through the phone book until he found Dr. Kellerman’s information. He picked up the phone and dialed his office number first. “Dr. Kellerman’s office, how may I help you?”

“This is Brian Littrell, I’m with a patient of his right now. It’s an emergency. Is he around?”

“I’m sorry, Mr. Littrell, he has the day off today. I can have him paged for you if you’d like,” his assistant offered.

“That’s okay, he gave me his other information in case of an emergency. Is he home today?”

“Yes, I think he should be home,” she said.

“Thank you very much.” Brian hung up on her quickly dialing the doctor’s home number. His wife answered the phone. “I’m sorry to bother you at home today ma’am, but it’s an emergency. I need to speak with Dr. Kellerman if he’s available.”

“He is. And you are?” She asked.

“Brian Littrell. I’m sure he’s familiar with my friend’s case. Tell him Nick Carter.”

“Hold on,” she mumbled, calling for her husband. “Eric is on his way Mr. Littrell.”

“Thanks, ma’am.” Brian shook his foot impatiently waiting for the doctor to get on the phone. He turned to find a very pale Aaron standing behind him. “Bri, it just got worse. He’s saying he can’t feel either of his legs and he’s having trouble breathing. I think we need an ambulance.”

“Brian, how can I help you?” There were too many voices running through his head. He dropped the phone, his hand clenching over his heart as he stumbled to one of the chairs around the table. Aaron picked up the phone, “Hello?”

“Brian?”

“No, it’s Aaron. Whose this?”

“Dr. Kellerman, Nick’s doctor. What’s going on?”

“Nick needs help doc. Something is really wrong with him. He can’t feel his legs and he’s having trouble breathing,” Aaron said as calm as he could.

“Get him to the hospital now. I’ll be waiting for you there,” Dr. Kellerman stated.

“Okay.”

“It’s better if you drive him, don’t waste any time,” he said.

“Okay,” he said nervously, hanging up on the doctor. “Brian you have to drive to the hospital, I can’t. Are you okay to drive?”

Brian nodded. “Too much too soon. Take the keys to the truck, get the girls, I’ll get Nick. I can manage this time,” he said, pushing Aaron through the kitchen door.

Aaron went outside to explain to the girls what was going on. Brian went into the living room determined to keep himself calm. Mustering all his strength, he lifted Nick in his arms. There was no way he’d get him to the car.

Struggling, Brian got him as far as the door before Aaron returned. “Girls are in one car, Leigh is driving them over. You me and Nicky are in his truck.” They got Nick, who was barely conscious, into the car. Aaron sat with Nick, Brian drove.

When they arrived at the hospital, Dr. Kellerman was waiting with a stretcher for Nick. The emergency room nurses helped to lift Nick out of the car and on the stretcher. Dr. Kellerman and the nurses brought Nick into one of the ER’s private rooms to run some tests.

The worst, and only, thing they could do now is wait.

Chapter Twenty five

Two hours later a very tired Dr. Kellerman met with Faith in the waiting room. “Is everyone here with you?” Faith smiled weakly, nodding. It seemed like everyone she’d met in the past eleven months was sitting in the living room. AJ, Sarah, Howie, Lee, Kevin, Kristen, Brian, Leighanne, Aaron, BJ, Leslie, Angel, Jane, and Bob.

“I need to speak with you privately. You and Brian. If the two of you would come with me?” He asked, leading them down the hall into one of the empty rooms.

“So, what’s up with Nick? What’s going on this time?” Faith asked, leaning against Brian.

“I’ll be honest with both of you, it doesn’t look good. He was having trouble breathing on his own. We have him on a respirator right now. It was the only way to keep him breathing.”

“Can I see him?” Faith asked.

“Of course you can, but I want you to be forewarned, he doesn’t look good. He has the tube in his throat allowing him to breathe. To remove the tube would mean…”

“If we remove it, he’d die?” Brian asked, his arms tight around Faith. “How long can he last with the respirator then?”

“For as long as it’s in,” Dr. Kellerman answered. “Faith, why don’t you come with me so you can see him. Brian, I suggest you talk to your family and friends out there and explain to them what’s going on.” Brian nodded, leaving Faith alone with the doctor. “You wanted to talk to me Faith?”

“Nick wants to see his baby. That’s all he wants and I intend on him getting that. After the baby is born and he sees it I want the respirators turned off. I don’t want him to suffer anymore than he has.”

“That’s understandable, Faith. How far long are you?” The doctor asked.

“I’m due in two weeks,” she answered. “I want to see Nick now,” she said.

Dr. Kellerman nodded, he put his hand on her upper back as he led Faith to the room he was being held in.

She gasped when she walked in.

“It’s helping him breathe Faith. I’ll leave you two alone.” Dr. Kellerman left the room and headed towards his office.

She walked closer to Nick, her hand seeking his and holding it tightly. “Everyone is here, Nicky. Everyone is here to see you. They’ll all take their turns coming in to tell you things that aren’t true. I know deep down you know that. Things are never going to be the same.”

What she wouldn’t give to have Nick open his eyes and look up at her.

“Nick, I have no idea how the hell I’m supposed to do this without you. You are my life and without you in it, what the hell do I have left?” She asked, bringing his hand up to her cheek. She smiled lightly, kissing his palm when she felt the baby kick. “Of course I’ll have this little one to keep me busy. I just wish you’ll be around to keep me busy too.”

She brushed his hair off his forehead. “I’m so big I can’t even bend over to give you a kiss. How sad is that?” she laughed. “Nick, I wish I knew if you could hear me.” She felt one of his fingers move slightly in her hand. “Can you hear me, Nicky? If you can move your hand again.”

She smiled when she felt him wiggle one of his fingers. “I know you can’t say anything to me, Nicky, so I just want you to listen. I want you to know that the past year has been the greatest of my life. For as long as I live I will love you Nick. I will always remember the day you walked into my life. You looked so gorgeous standing at my front door wet from the rain. You brought back so many painful memories, memories I didn’t want to remember. But you also helped me make new memories, Nick. I will never forget what you did for me.”

She wanted to hear his voice, she needed to hear his voice. “I’m going to miss you so much, Nicky. I can’t do this. I can’t say goodbye to you.”

“Then don’t say it, Faith,” Brian said quietly from the door. “I’m sorry to interrupt you.”

“What the hell am I going to do Brian? I can’t lose him. I’m not ready to let him go,” she cried. “I can’t do it.”

“None of us are ready, Faith.” Brian sat on the side of Nick’s bed, Faith sitting on his leg. They each held Nick’s hand. “I wish I could tell you it will be okay, Faith.”

“I wish you could too,” she said softly. She leaned her head against Brian’s and the two of them sat watching Nick for as long as they could.

A week passed and there was no change in Nick’s condition. He opened his eyes a few times. Faith recognized the look. It was fear. He was afraid of what was coming. She pleaded with him to hold on a little longer. His only response was the few tears that fell from his eyes.

On the ninth day Brian finally persuaded Faith to leave Nick’s side. Aaron and BJ were visiting the hospital and wanted to have a little private time with him. “I’ll buy you something to eat, Faith,” he said, his hand on her lower back. “You need something in you other than hospital food.”

Once they were down in the cafeteria, each of them with a sandwich on their plate, Brian finally asked, “how are you doing? And don’t tell me that you’re fine, I know you aren’t fine. How are you?”

Faith shrugged, pulling the lettuce from her sandwich. “How am I supposed to be? Nick is dying and our baby will grow up without a father. It hurts.”

Brian reached across the table and held her hand. “We can’t stop the hurt but we want you to know that we’ll be here for you. Leigh and I are planning on staying with you for a few months after the baby is born, if you’ll keep us, that is. What do you say?”

“That’ll be great,” she said quietly.

Brian watched her push her food around on her plate. “Faith, why don’t we go back up to the waiting room. I know Aaron and BJ wanted some time alone with him but if we’re in the waiting room we’ll at least be near him, you know.”

She nodded. After dumping their food she followed Brian back to the room.

In the waiting room, Jane was waiting for Faith. She couldn’t hide her contempt for Nick’s wife. “I can’t believe you’re allowing this to go on. And you call yourself his wife? No wife would ever put their husband, someone they claimed to love, through something like this.”

“What are you talking about?” Faith asked, turning to face her mother-in-law.

“I’m talking about my son. What you’re doing to him is cruel,” Jane yelled at Faith.

Brian stood at Faith’s side, his arm wrapped around her shoulder.

“It’s not cruel at all Jane. The day he found out about his baby he said all he wanted was to see it just once, to be able to run his finger over its soft skin. I’m not going to be the one to deny him that. He’s held onto that little bit of hope that he’d be able to see it. That’s what has kept him going,” Faith said, her eyes not leaving Jane’s.

“You’re just prolonging the inevitable, Faith. If you truly loved him, you’d take him off the life support and let him die in peace. Isn’t it killing you to see him like this just to give him a glimpse a baby he’ll never know?” Jane yelled, unaware Aaron and BJ had left Nick’s room and were listening to her every word.

Brian tried to stop Faith but she ignored him.

“Of course it’s killing me. I love him more than anything, Jane, whether or not you believe that.

“He’s dying, Faith. You have to accept that,” Jane said, her eyes gleaming with tears.

“I do accept that. And once he gets to see his baby I’ll have them discontinue with the respirator. But no sooner than that.” Faith allowed Brian to walk her to the chair and sit her down.

“You really need to relax, Faith. Ignore Jane, she’s always been the one to decide what Nick would do and now she can’t because you’re around,” Brian said.

“I want to go back in and sit with Nick,” she said, beginning to stand.

Then she felt it. An incredible pain ripped through her stomach. “Oh god, Brian, it hurts,” she said, reaching blindly for his hand.

“Just breathe Faith. That’s all, just breathe and the pain will go away. No doubt about that,” Brian said calmly. It’s time for the baby.

Chapter Twenty six

“Push, Faith,” Dr. Francesca Myers said. “Just one more push and we have a head.”

“Breathe, Faith,” Brian coached. “Remember how they taught you?”

She nodded and held onto Brian’s hand.

“That’s a girl,” he encouraged.

“Okay, Faith, get ready to push. On my count,” Dr. Myers said. “Push!”

Faith screamed, her grip tightening on Brian’s hand.

“That’s it, Faith. Just keep pushing like that,” Brian whispered reassuringly in her ear.

“We have a head, Faith. I need some more strong pushes before we get this one out. On my count. PUSH!”

She screamed once again, Brian holding her hand tight in his, as she pushed.

“We’re almost there, Faith. One more big push and we should be done. You ready?”

“No,” she breathed. “It hurts. I can’t do it again. It hurts,” she cried.

“Faithy, just think of Nick. You’re doing this for him, right? So he can see your beautiful baby.”

She looked up into Brian’s eyes. “Please don’t call me Faithy, Brian. Only Nick calls me that.”

“Sorry,” he said softly, “Will you push for Nick? One more push for Nick,” Brian whispered. “Just one and you have a baby. A little girl or a little boy. Just one more, Faith. One more for Nick.”

“One more for Nick,” she whispered, looking at the doctor. She nodded when she was ready, signaling the doctor.

“Okay push!”

Faith screamed. Long and loud. She crushed Brian’s hand in her own. And the baby was out.

“Congratulations Mrs. Carter. You have a little girl.” The small baby cried in her doctor’s arms. The umbilical cord was cut and the baby was wrapped in a blanket. “Do you want to hold her?”

Faith smiled, nodding eagerly, leaning back into Brian. He wiped the sweat from her face with the towel and moved her hair behind her ears. “I’m so proud of you Faith. Thank you. I’m an uncle now.”

The nurse placed the baby in her mother’s arms moving the blanket off her face. Brian kissed Faith’s forehead. “She’s absolutely beautiful Faith. Congratulations.”

“Thanks Brian. Thanks for everything. Can you give me a minute alone with the baby?”

Brian nodded. “Sure thing. I’ll go let everyone know it’s a girl and not an it anymore.”

Faith smiled and watched him leave the room. She looked down at the little pink buddle in her arms. “Hey there baby. I guess I can’t call you baby anymore, huh? Daddy and I discussed names. We’ve decided that if you were a boy he’d decide, if you were a girl I’d decide. I have the perfect name for you.”

Faith leaned over and kissed the baby’s head. “I want you to meet your daddy. It’s important that he sees you, you know. It’s very important. I know in the years you won’t remember this but I will. I will always remember it. Let’s go meet your daddy.”

With her free hand Faith reached over and called for the nurse. A moment later a nurse came in. “Can I help you Mrs. Carter?”

“Yes. I need to visit my husband with the baby. I’d like him to see her as soon as possible. If there is a problem please call Dr. Kellerman, he’s made arrangements.”

With a soft nod of the head she was gone.

Faith stared at her little girl wondering if this was how Nick looked when he was born. She never heard the door open.

“Faith?”

“Yes?” She answered looking up to find the small room full of their friends. Brian and Leighanne, Kevin and Kristen, AJ and Sarah and Howie and Lee. “Hi.” She couldn’t help but smile at them.

“So this is the newest member of the family, huh?” AJ asked, walking over to them. “Can I touch her?”

Faith chuckled slightly. “You can hold her if you’d like, but I think Brian should be the first. I wouldn’t have been able to do this without him,” she said quietly.

Brian took the little girl from her mother and held her in his arms. Leighanne wrapped an arm around his back and watched as he held the baby in his arms.

“Have you picked a name?” Kristen asked.

“Yeah, I have. I want Nick to be the first to know when I bring the baby in for him to see. I’m just waiting for the nurse now.”

Kristen nodded, moving away from Kevin and to Faith’s side. Kristen slid into the bed besides Faith and rested their heads together. “You know that if you need anything, anything at all, you can call either of us. Any time. Do not hesitate,” Kristen offered.

“I won’t,” she smiled.

Her smile faded when Dr. Kellerman came into the room with a wheelchair. “I’m sorry, but you all have to leave for a few moments. Only one visitor for now and I need to go over a few things with Mrs. Carter.”

“Brian can stay,” she said. “I need his help with this.” Faith, Brian and the nurse watched the others file out of the room. “How long will it be after the respirator is turned off?”

Dr. Kellerman sighed, his hand coming to rest on the back of his neck. “Not long, Faith. I’m sorry. If I had to give a time frame I’d say an hour, at the most.”

“Will he be able to speak after it’s removed?”

“He’ll be hoarse and water will be a little rough on his throat but, yes, he will be able to.”

“After the baby and I get into the room, I want it removed. I want him to be able to see his daughter, touch his daughter, talk to his daughter. I want him to have everything he can with her in his last few minutes. I don’t think that’s too much to ask for, is it?”

“No it’s not, Faith,” Dr. Kellerman said softly. “I do need you to sign these papers.”

Faith looked over the papers signing her name on the bottom of the page. She looked at her little girl, still nestled in Brian’s arm. She nodded softly, lowering her head as she climbed from the bed and into the wheelchair.

Nick’s room was on a separate floor from Faith’s delivery room.

“Do you want her back, Faith?” Brian asked, pressing his fingers against the baby’s little nose.

“Not yet,” she said. “You can hold her still, if you’d like.”

The ride two floors up seemed to have lasted for ages. The walk down the hall lasted forever. The dread, the pain in Faith’s heart would always be there. “Will you stay, Brian? I don’t think I can do this alone.”

His lower lip trembling, he whispered, “Of course, Faith. Anything for you and Nick, and the baby.” He opened the door to Nick’s room, holding it open for Faith and Nick’s doctor. Brian stayed against the wall concentrating on the little life in his arms. The scrunched up face wrapped in the pink blanket was making it worse.

“Faith, I’ll be right back.” Dr. Kellerman left Brian and Faith alone with Nick and the baby. They both watched Nick quietly from the corner of the room. No longer than three minutes passed when the doctor returned with two nurses. “I suggest you both turn your head. This may make him slightly sick.”

She fought the urge to gag as the doctor removed his respirator. “Hello Nick,” Dr. Kellerman said. “You have a few visitors who’d like to see you.”

Nick’s eyes rolled open slightly. He was barely able to focus on the doctor’s face. He pointed to his throat, he needed water. The nurse helped him slightly, holding the cup to his mouth while he drank and wiping his chin, neck and chest when he spit it back out. “Faith?” He mouthed.

“Faith is here Nick. She has a surprise for you.” The doctor helped Faith from the wheelchair and walked her over to the side of the bed. Without any assistance she sat beside Nick. “I’ll be outside Faith.”

She nodded, her attention on only Nick. “I’m going to sit you up slightly, Nick. There’s someone I want you to meet.” She tried to block out the sound of his shallow breathing as she brought the bed up slightly. She motioned for Brian to bring the baby to them.

“Baby?” Nick asked. His eyebrows raised, trying to focus on Faith’s face.

“Yeah, baby,” she said quietly taking the baby as Brian handed her to her mother. “This is your little girl, Nick.”

Ignoring the pain from the hoarseness he whispered, “little girl?”

She couldn’t hold it in any longer. Something inside her broke. She didn’t bother blinking back her tears. There were too many. “Yeah, Nick, your little girl. You’re a daddy now.” They weren’t aware Brian slipped out of the room for just a moment. “Do you want to hold her, Nick?”

“Hold her?” He repeated. She looked into his eyes seeing the confusion that lay in the sea of blue. Faith positioned Nick’s arms properly and when she was sure he could handle it, she placed the baby in his arms. “My baby?”

“Yeah, Nick, your baby,” she said, leaning over and resting her chin against his shoulder.

“Her name?”

She couldn’t hold her sob in any longer. “I thought, only if you say yes, we could name her Hope.”

“Hope,” he nodded. “She’s my hope.”

“That’s right, Nick, she’s your hope.” She watched his finger gently caress her cheek. Her tiny hand managed to find his finger and squeeze. “She knows her daddy already Nicky.”

“I’m her daddy,” he smiled. “She got my finger.”

Through her tears she couldn’t help but smile at the joy in his voice.

He leaned down, kissing her forehead gently. “I love you, Hope Nicole Carter.”

That proved to be too much for Brian. He dropped the camera he had been holding. He leaned against the wall, slowly sliding down to the floor. His head rested on his knee and cried. He didn’t know what else he should do.

“Let me have her, Nick.”

He didn’t fight, he didn’t argue. He handed Faith their daughter and watched as best he could as she placed her in the tiny crib one of the nurses wheeled in. She climbed back into the bed. Nick leaned his head on her shoulder. “Don’t leave me again, Faith,” he said softly.

She ran her fingers over his face feeling the wet tracks of his tears. “I won’t leave you, Nick. I’m right here.”

“It hurts here,” he said, taking her hand and placing it over his heart.

“I hurt there too, Nick,” she kissed his forehead.

He snuggled closer to her. “It hurts to see. It’s too bright in here,” he said. Brian stood, watching Faith and Nick on the bed, and shut off the light. “That’s better.”

“Anything to make you feel better Nicky,” she sighed. They sat quietly together until she felt Nick shiver in her arms. “Nicky?”

“I’m so scared,” he whispered. “She said she’s going to take care of me.”

Faith closed her eyes, her chin on Nick’s head. “Who’s said that Nicky?”

“The lady in the dress. She looks like you, Faith.”

“Like me?” she asked, holding Nick tightly.

“Her name is Tessa, she’s going to take care of me. She said I should come to her? What should I do Faith?” He asked, his breathing becoming short.

A chill ran through her body. “Tessa, Nick? Her name is Tessa?”

“Tessa. She looks like you, Faith. Should I go to her?” he asked. She could hear how frightened he was in his voice.

“I love you Nick.”

“I love you too Faith,” he said softly. His hold on her loosened… a lot.

“Go to her, Nick. She’s safe. She will take care of you,” she whispered, kissing his forehead, kissing his cheek.

“Safe?”

She could hear it in his voice. She was losing him. “Very safe, baby. That’s my mother,” she whispered. “My mother will take good care of you.”

“I should go to her?” He asked. He closed his eyes. He heard her whisper softly to go to her, she’d take care of him. “I’m not so scared anymore,” he said.

Faith cried quietly until she felt no more movement from Nick. “Brian?” She managed to say between short breaths. He grunted his response knowing he couldn’t speak right now. “Can you get Dr. Kellerman? Nick’s gone,” she said, allowing her voice to trail off.

Epilogue

“Faith, are you sure you want to do this?” Brian asked. She nodded, Hope sleeping in her arms. The six-month-old baby held tightly to Faith’s necklace while she slept. “You can wait, you know?”

“I know I can wait but the time is right, Brian. This is what he wanted so this is what I’m giving him. Will you come with me? I need you to keep an eye on Hope while I do this,” she sighed. Will it ever stop hurting?

“You don’t even have to ask Faith, you know I’ll be by your side for this.”

“Thank you, Brian. Aaron’s waiting for us on the dock. He wanted to be there too. He pissed Jane off again,” she smiled. “She refused to let him come. She found him packing his bags in the middle of the night. He told her he was going whether she liked it or not. Nick was his brother and he wanted to be there for something this important.” Faith couldn’t hold back her laughter. She managed to pry Hope’s finger from her necklace and hand her over to Brian.

“Jane gave in?” He asked, walking towards Aaron who was waving from the top of Nick’s boat.

Faith smiled. “Nope, he left. She told him if he was going to live under her roof he’d learn to live with her rules. He packed as much as he could and left the house. He said he walked for miles before he managed to get a signal on his phone. He called me and asked if I’d like a houseguest for a while. He’s great with Hope. He’s a big help around the house.” Blocking the sun from her face, she looked up at Aaron.

“He seems relaxed doesn’t he?” Brian whispered.

“He told me this morning he’s never been happier, Brian. That’s a genuine smile on his face. And he just loves Hope.”

“Are you guys ready?” Aaron helped Faith onto the boat before taking Hope from Brian. “You know what you need to get. One of those baby backpack things. That way I can hold her and steer.” He returned the baby to Brian. He unhooked the boat from the dock and they were on their way.

“How far out do you want to go, Faith?” He asked.

She shrugged. “However far out you think is good. Just stop when you feel it’s right.”

Aaron nodded, turning his attention back to the ocean.

Faith only walked a few steps away from Aaron before she heard the engine shut down. She smiled, knowing it was time. She nodded softly to Brian before going underneath.

Brian joined Aaron on the side of the boat.

Faith returned a few minutes later carrying the ceramic urn. She squeezed her way between Brian and Aaron.

“Are you sure Faith?” Aaron asked.

“I’m sure,” she smiled. She opened the box containing Nick’s ashes and sprinkled them into the ocean. She walked around the boat letting Nick’s ashes fall into the ocean.

“This was how Nick wanted it. This is where he belongs,” Faith said softly to herself as she walked around the boat.

She walked back and stood between Brian and Aaron, taking Hope back into her arms. Whispering softly into Hope’s ear, Faith said, “Daddy’s home, baby.”

The End

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