Selfish

By: Sarah

"Joshua, what am I here for?" Sarah asked her best friend as he pulled her into the recording studio with him.

"Because I have something that I need you to hear! That's why! Now just SHH! You'll find out soon enough," he replied as he tightened his grip on her hand and practically dragged her to recording room #3. "Sorry I'm late guys. Somebody had to ask a million questions!" he said as he walked into the room and greeted the other guys.

"Bite me, Joshua," Sarah said as she rolled her eyes at him. Before she had a chance to react, JC closed the short distance between them, lowered his head and softly bit the flesh of her shoulder that her tank top allowed to be exposed. "JOSHUA!!"

"Hmm?" he responded simply as he gave her an innocent grin. She flipped him off and he laughed. "Now sit right here," JC said as he pulled out a chair next to Brian McKnight.

"Hey, how are you? I'm Sarah," she said as she shook his hand.

"Brian McKnight. I'll be producing this track. Thank you," he added with a knowing grin.

"For what?" she questioned and he just smiled. Justin, Lance, Chris, and Joey all walked by her and gave her knowing smiles accompanied with kisses on the top of her head before entering the sound booth and putting on their headphones. "OK! What's going on here?!? Joshua?" she questioned as she swiveled around in her chair to face him.

"Just listen to the song, sweetheart," JC said softly as he kissed her cheek and joined the other guys in the sound room. Once they were all situated JC motioned for Brian to turn the outside speaker on for a moment. "Sarah... I wrote this song for you..."

"What? Joshua I don't understand..." Sarah started.

JC took a deep breath and said, "Sarah, I've been trying for so long to tell you my feelings and you always push me away when I try to further our relationship. I know you've been hurt. I was there to console you every time, remember? It's been me that's always been there. So just hear me out with this, OK?"

"Alright, Joshua," Sarah responded softly, fighting tears already. JC nodded to Brian and Sarah heard a beautiful melody floating through the air as the guys took their places at their microphones. She smiled as Justin winked at her before closing his eyes and starting to sing.

"I just don't understand
Why you're runnin' from a good man, baby
Why you wanna turn your back on love
Why you've already given up

See I know you've been hurt before
But I swear I'll give you so much more
I swear I'll never let you down
Cuz I swear it's you that I adore

And I can't help myself, babe
Cuz I think about you constantly
And my heart gets no rest over you..."

Sarah's hand flew to her mouth as the first tears started to fall at the words her Joshua had written that Justin was singing so beautifully. Her eyes traveled over each of the guys' faces as they joined Justin on the chorus.

"You can call me selfish
But all I want is your love
And you can call me hopeless, baby
Cuz I'm hopelessly in love
You can call me unperfect
But who's perfect?
Tell me what do I gotta do?
To prove that I'm the only one for you
So what's wrong with being selfish?..."

Her eyes settled on JC's as he opened his own and stared at her intensely as he started his verse.

"I'll be taking up your time
Til the day I make you realize
That for you there could be no one else
I've just gotta have you for myself

Baby, I would take good care of you
No matter what it is you're going through
I'll be there for you when you're in need
Baby, believe in me

Cuz if love is a crime, hey yeah
Then punish me
I would die for you
Cuz I don't want to live without you
Oh what can I do?..."

Sarah was crying freely now as she struggled to keep her sobs quiet. She felt Brian slide his free arm that wasn't fiddling with knobs around her shoulders. But her gaze never left JC's.

Why do you keep up us apart?
Why won't you give up your heart?
You know that we're meant to be together

And why do you push me away?
All that I want is to give you love
Forever and ever and ever...

You can call me selfish
But all I want is your love
And you can call me hopeless, hopeless
Because I'm hopelessly in love
You can call me unperfect
But who's perfect?
Tell me what do I gotta do, baby?
To prove that I'm the only one for you..."

Sarah smiled through her tears as she listened to the guys harmonize perfectly as they broke down the end of the song.

"Selfishly I'm in love with you
Cuz I've searched my soul
And know that it's you

Selfishly I'm in love with you
Cuz I've searched my soul
And know that it's you

Selfishly I'm in love with you (I'm so in love with you)
Cuz I've searched my soul
And know that it's you

Prove that I'm the only one for you
So what's wrong with being selfish... selfish... selfish

So what's wrong with being selfish?"

As soon as JC took off his headphones and stepped out of the recording booth Sarah shot out of her chair and into his arms. "Joshua... that was so beautiful. I love it."

"I meant every word of it, Sarah. I love you," he replied softly as he wiped the remainder of her tears away and kissed her forehead.

"I love you too, Joshua. And I'm sorry for pushing you away."

JC smiled brightly and kissed her lips briefly before turning to the rest of the group. "Guys, I gotta jet for the rest of today... is that OK?," he asked.

"GO, JC!" the 5 other guys said as they pointed to the door. JC laughed and he and Sarah waved their good-byes before walking out to JC's jeep.

JC used his right hand to hold Sarah's left one all the way to his house. He rested their linked hands on his thigh and gently stroked his thumb over the back of Sarah's hand. When they arrived at his house, nothing was said between them as they climbed from the jeep, walked in the door, and simultaneously headed towards JC's bedroom.

"Are you sure, Sweetie?" JC asked.

Sarah's only response was to lay back on the bed and hold out her hand to him. JC needed no other encouragement and took her hand as he settled himself on his side next to her. He slowly lowered his head and softly touched his lips to hers. As the kiss turned more passionate JC gently slid his body on top of Sarah's. As their tongues met and danced, he slid his hands over her body. He felt her tremble slightly and pulled back to give her a reassuring smile before lifting off her shirt. He leaned back down and attached his lips to the side of her neck and started to suckle lightly.

"Mmm... Joshua," Sarah moaned softly as she tangled her fingers in his hair.

JC smiled against her skin and continued sucking and licking until he had left his mark on her. He smiled at his work before placing soft, wet kisses down to her breasts and then sat up long enough to remove her bra.

"I love you, baby," he murmured against her skin as he lavished her breasts with kisses.

"I love you too, Joshua."

JC suckled lightly on her left nipple and then tugged it gently between his teeth, making Sarah gasp and arch her back. He chuckled slightly before he moved to her right nipple, rolling it with his tongue and lightly nibbling on it.

"Jesus, Joshua..." Sarah breathed.

JC smiled up at her before trailing kisses down to her stomach. He swirled his tongue in her belly button before running it along the waistband of the pants she was wearing. His eyebrows rose slightly as he, for the first time, realized that the pants she had on were in fact, a pair of his pajama pants.

"I've been looking for these. Where'd you get these, baby?" he questioned as he looked up at her.

She shrugged and smirked at him, "You left them at my apartment once and I just didn't bother to give them back to you."

He shook his head slightly as he pulled them off of her. He slid to the end of the bed and took her right foot in his hand. His slowly and sensually sucked on each of the toes as he kept his eyes on her. He smiled to himself as he noticed her breathing become more labored. He placed soft kisses on the inside of her leg from her ankle up to her inner thigh, stopping before he reached her center and sliding back down the bed. He repeated the process on her left foot and leg. Then, he pulled her panties off of her, gently parted her legs and slid in between them until his face was in front of her hot core. He softly kissed her outer lips before parting them and flicking his tongue across her clit. He smiled to himself as he heard Sarah moan and felt her fingers find their way into his hair again. JC attached his lips to her clit and sucked on it as he brought a finger up to tease her opening.

"Uhh... Please don't tease me, Joshua," Sarah begged softly.

JC obliged and slid two fingers into her opening. He pumped them slowly as he continued to suck on her clit.

"Mmm, Joshua. Please more. I'm almost there," Sarah moaned as she urged his head closer to her center. Hearing that, JC pulled completely away. "Joshua, what in God's name are you doing?!"

He chuckled softly as he stood and stripped off his clothes. "I want to be inside of you, Sarah. I want you to cum on me, baby," JC whispered lowly in her ear as he positioned himself on top of her.

"Then take me, Joshua," Sarah begged.

"That's what I'm going to do. Right now," he replied as he slowly and gently slid his entire length into her. "Sarah, you're so tight, baby. Oh my God, you feel so good," JC gasped out as her walls gripped him tightly.

"Love me, Joshua," Sarah said softly as she raised her hips up to his.

JC only groaned in response as he started to move his hips. He braced himself on his forearms and locked his eyes on hers as he pumped steadily. He ignored her pleas to go faster and moved slowly, savoring every moment. Sweat dripped off of his body and onto hers. He had every intention of keeping up his pace, but lost the battle when Sarah wrapped her legs around his slim waist and pulled him in deeper. "Oh God!," he exclaimed as his thrusts immediately became hard and fast. Sarah's nails raked lightly down his back as she rotated her hips under his. "Oh good God, girl! You're killing me here!" Just then, Sarah slammed her hips up hard against his and they came violently together. "SARAH! Jesus, baby!"

"JOSHUA! Oh God, I love you so much!" Sarah exclaimed as their bodies spasmed together.

"I love you too, baby," JC panted out as he tried to pull large amounts of air into his lungs.

When both of them had finally calmed down enough, JC rolled to his side and pulled Sarah snuggly against his chest. Limbs entwined, they settled in for a nap. As Sarah started to drift off she softly whispered, "Joshua?"

"Hmm, baby?"

"I think you need to be selfish more often!"

JC laughed and kissed the top of her head before they fell into a light slumber together.

The End

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