“Josh I’m sorry” Justin apologized at school the
next day as Josh was busy putting his books away, taking new ones out. Josh
stared at him for a split second before deciding to ignore him and turning his
attention back to his locker.
“I
know you’re angry with me and I understand but I really am sorry” Justin tried
once again, realizing Josh was ignoring him.
“Please
give me another chance” he pleaded.
Josh
snorted.
Justin
sighed, slumping against the lockers. He’d thought Josh would be a little angry
once he’d reveal his motives but he’d figured he’d get over it and they’d be
together. He hadn’t expected this. He hadn’t expected Josh to hate him.
“Fine.
You wanna come over after school?” Justin asked finally, hoping that the
question would at least get Josh’s attention.
“I’m
not your slave anymore” Josh said, glaring at him.
“I
know I just thought we could… hang out?” Justin asked a little insecure at the
end. At least Josh was talking to him now. Josh frowned.
“You
gotta be kiddin’ me” he told him with a scoffing laugh.
“No”
Justin said honestly.
“I
want to make it up to you” he added still sincere. Josh shook his head, closing
his locker quickly.
“Not
in a million fucking years”
***
Justin
stalked to his seat, eyeing Josh on the way but Josh never met his eyes. He was
deliberately looking the other way and although Justin knew he’d deserved it,
was aware of the fact that he hadn’t handled this whole situation very well it
still kind of hurt. The whole purpose of his plan had been to get to know Josh
and to get him to like him but now it seemed like all he’d done was push Josh
away. Because before Josh would at least meet his eyes. He was ignoring him now
and that had been the exact opposite goal of his plan.
“Josh”
Justin addressed him after class.
“Leave
me alone Justin” Josh said harshly; there was no reason to be nice to him
anymore, he didn’t have to pretend. He knew now that Justin was gay too and
therefore Josh could out him just as easily. Josh knew Justin had more people
behind him and he knew everyone but it really didn’t matter because if Justin
outed him, he’d simply return the favor. Even if they wouldn’t believe him, it
would get rumors flying.
“I’m
sorry” Justin told him again, he couldn’t count the numerous of times he’d
apologized to Josh for his plan but Josh didn’t accept his apology.
“I
don’t care Justin” Josh shook his head, once again dismissing his apology, he
was getting sick of this.
“What
more do you want? I already told you I’m sorry” Justin whined not understanding
why this didn’t work.
“And
I already told you that that’s not good enough” Josh countered.
“Then
how can I make it up to you?” Justin asked pleadingly, this had not been his
plan. It wasn't supposed to go this way. Josh wasn't supposed to be angry, he
was supposed to be happy. Happy with his request to go out. However Josh was
anything but happy, he seemed furious.
“You
can’t! I don't want you to, leave me alone!” Josh demanded, he'd said this a
couple of times but Justin was hard headed, he didn't take no for an answer.
“Just
stop” he told the persistent boy before quickly walking out.
***
“Hey
Josh” Justin greeted him friendly as he came to a halt in front of his crush’s
table he was sharing with another guy; Chris something.
“What
do you want?” Josh grumbled not looking up, he already knew who it was.
“Nothing
just saying hi” Justin shrugged although he wasn’t exactly telling the truth.
He had a new plan. After days of trying to apologize to Josh, trying to get him
to forgive him he finally realized that that wasn’t going to work. Josh wasn’t
going to forgive him like this so he’d come up with a new plan. He was going to
stay around Josh, stay close to him, be nice to him and he hoped that by doing
that Josh would start to like him too and eventually forgive him. It wouldn’t
happen overnight but he figured if he showed him he could be patient Josh might
not hate him so much. He knew it was stupid what he’d done but he couldn’t
change it, all he could do was make it up to him; if Josh would let him.
“Don’t
bother” Josh countered. Justin frowned, that obviously wasn’t going to happen
today.
“Okay
well I’ll catch you later” Justin said still friendly.
“Wouldn’t
count on it” Josh countered, not even looking up. He didn’t meet his eyes once
and Justin decided to leave it for now. It obviously wasn’t working. He turned
and walked away. Not a second after the captain of the basketball team had
turned his back on them, Chris nudged Josh’s side hard.
“What
did he want?” he asked curiously and almost whispering as if it were a secret.
Finally Josh looked up, watching Justin’s figure walk away as he answered his
friend.
“I
honestly don’t know”
***
“Dude
is Justin following you?” Chris asked, as they sat in front of the TV at Josh’s
house, remembering the day’s events. Justin had addressed Josh twice but Josh
kept pushing him away; Chris didn’t understand the whole thing. Josh sighed but
didn’t answer.
“What
happened, tell your best friend” Chris urged in a funny voice, one of many.
Josh chuckled, Chris could always make him laugh, he always listened too, Josh
decided to tell.
“He
fucking did what?!” Chris exclaimed once Josh had told him about how Justin had
used him and everything else up until last week’s event of Justin coming clean.
Josh nodded, still angry himself.
“He’s
used me for weeks and for what?! So he could make sure I’m gay! He could have
just asked for fucks sake”
“I
can’t believe he did this”
“I
know me either” Josh sighed.
“I
can’t believe he kissed me” Josh muttered to himself.
“What?!”
Chris almost jumped him. Josh looked up startled; he hadn’t told Chris about
that part.
“Did
I say that out loud?” he questioned nervously.
“Yeah.
You did” Chris told his friend pointedly.
“Shit”
Josh breathed, he hadn’t meant to tell him that. Chris wasn’t supposed to hear
that.
“Are
you telling me that punk not only used you for weeks but had the nerve to kiss
you at the end?!” Chris seethed. Josh ducked his head, nodding, he knew his
friend’s anger wasn’t directed at him but it was kind of scary nevertheless.
Chris was protective of the people he cared about, there weren’t many but if
Chris cared about you, you were protected for life. He was extremely loyal.
Josh had known him since fifth grade and he was his best friend. He had a few
others but no one was as special as Chris; he was the best. Chris stood
abruptly.
“He’s
dead” he stated firmly, ready to kick Justin’s butt, the asshole who’d dared to
hurt his best friend.
“Chris
don’t” Josh stopped him, pulling his friend back down.
“Forget
it”
“What!
You’re willing to let his go? Just like that?” Chris questioned. Josh shrugged.
“Yeah”
Chris’ angry features softened a little.
“Josh
don’t forget to stand up for yourself” he said gently, knowing Josh was soft
hearted, it was a good trait, but not always.
“Or
I will” Chris added meaningful, ready to defend his friend’s honor if
necessary.
“Chris
it’s okay really, he’ll leave me alone” Chris eyed him for a few moments.
“So
you’re secret is safe?” Chris questioned finally, knowing that was the reason
this had all started.
“Yeah
I believe so”
“How
can you be sure?” Chris questioned a little suspiciously.
“He’s
gay too” Josh revealed.
“No
shit! Justin is gay?” Chris asked disbelievingly.
“Justin
as in the captain of the basketball team is gay?” he asked to make sure.
“Uh-huh”
Josh nodded in confirmation. Well duh why else would he have kissed him,
Chris realized suddenly. A smile slowly broke out on Chris’ face and he got an
evil gleam in his eyes.
“Makes
revenge real easy” he told his friend.
“Let’s
give him a taste of his own medicine”
“Let’s
not” Josh disagreed. Chris’ evil gleam disappeared suddenly, a deep frown and
the beginning of a scowl appeared on his face.
“Why
not?”
“We’re
in the same boat; we both have a secret to protect besides if I out him he’ll
just do the same to me”
“Yeah
but he’s the captain of the basketball team. That’s gonna be a hell of an
explanation” Chris told him, not understanding why Josh didn’t want to take
this opportunity to get back at him.
“No
Chris”
“Why
the hell not?” he cried, exasperated.
“I
don’t want to do that to him and I won’t”
“He
deserves it!” Chris argued.
“No
he doesn’t, nobody deserves that” Josh protested firmly. Chris shook his head,
sighing, but understood a little where his friend was coming from, still he
didn’t like the fact that Josh was willing to let this slide so easily.
“You’re
a softie Chasez” he muttered, however he accepted his friend’s wishes. Josh
sighed.
“Maybe”
