Science class, third period, Justin sat in the back
row, overseeing the whole class. His basketball buddies around him, their
fellowship came with his position in the team.
All
the way to the right, the second table from the front sat his crush: Joshua
Chasez. He was gorgeous, he always looked good, casual and extremely sexy. He
mainly sat in the front of the class, he wanted to pay attention, he enjoyed
school and it occasionally earned him strange glances and mean comments but
Josh didn’t seem to care. He was perfectly happy with himself, he was confident
but he could pull it off in a way were it wasn’t cocky or arrogant. He didn’t
think he was better than anyone but he was happy in his own skin, Josh didn’t
care what other people thought and it made him extremely sexy in Justin’s eyes.
As
he watched Josh his mind wondered back to the scene he’d witnessed the previous
week. Ever since he’d seen how Josh had pushed the guy he’d went out with away
Justin had began to question himself.
Had
he really seen it right?
Had
Josh really been on a date with that guy or had he just wanted to see it?
Justin
had began to doubt that maybe Josh wasn’t gay. Maybe it had just been a friend
or someone who wanted to flirt with him and Josh hadn’t seen it coming, maybe
Josh had thought it was just a friendly afternoon while the guy wanted more.
Justin started to doubt himself. He suddenly wasn’t so sure anymore whether or
not Josh was really gay. He wasn’t so sure if he should go up to him and ask
him out, he was afraid he would say no or worse… that he wouldn’t be gay.
Because after seeing Josh push away the guy he’d seen him with at the movies,
Justin wasn’t so sure at all.
***
Justin
couldn’t let it go, he was afraid to ask him out now, he didn’t want to take the
chance. He wrecked his brain as to come up with a plan; how could he ask him
out, without knowing for sure that he was gay, without risk? He couldn’t. But
that wasn’t good enough for Justin. He needed to know for sure and therefore he
had to find a way to find out if Josh really was gay before he could ask him
out. How could he find out? He chewed on his pen as he stared straight ahead, a
blur moving in front of his eyes now and then as his teacher walked past. She
didn’t pay attention to him and vice versa. Justin thought long and hard and
then suddenly between science’s sound formulas he got it. He got a brilliant
idea, one that would show him, whether or not Josh really was gay and one that
would make it safe for Justin to ask him out.
***
“Hey
Josh” Justin greeted nonchalantly as he stopped the boy before he had a chance
to go inside the school building, two days later. He had a plan; it was time to
carry it out.
Josh
looked up in surprise, he hadn’t expected someone to talk to him, and certainly
not Justin Timberlake, captain of the basketball team.
“Uh
hi” he said obviously uncomfortable; what does he want from me? How does he
even know me?
“Can
I ask you something?” Justin asked still neutrally.
“Okay”
Josh agreed questionably. This wasn’t right. Justin bend forward, towards him
before looking around to make sure no one was around to hear.
“Are
you gay Josh?” he whispered straightforward after confirming there was indeed
no one around.
Josh
gasped, “Wha… what? No!” he argued lightly, also looking around quickly to make
sure no one was around who could have heard the question. Justin shook his
head.
“No
need to lie, I saw you, saw you with your boyfriend at the mall”
“He’s
not my boyfriend, he’s… just a friend” Josh protested lightly, a slight
hesitation in his sentence and Justin easily picked up on it.
“Didn’t
look like it, no looked a lot like a date, him buying two tickets…” he
revealed, trailing off for effect to let Josh know he had indeed seen it.
Josh’s eyes widened, he was busted.
“Please
don’t tell anyone” Josh begged, knowing denying it was useless.
“Give
me one good reason why I shouldn’t” Justin challenged, curious what Josh would
have to say.
“Because
you’ll ruin my life” he whispered softly, fully knowing that if this got out,
his pretty much easy life at school would be over. Sure you couldn’t go without
an occasional teasing or pestering when you enjoyed school but it never went
further than calling him names and Josh knew they were jealous anyway so it
didn’t really bother him, however this was worse. If this got out, he wouldn’t
be known as the kid who liked school, he would be known as the gay kid and
calling him names would then only be the tip of the iceberg. Justin stared at
him, shrugged and started to walk away. Josh stopped him, lightly grasping his
upper arm.
“Don’t
tell anyone, please, I’ll do anything” he said in a desperate attempt to save
himself from having to take almost two years of torment and torture from
homophobic schoolmates.
Justin
smiled and nodded. Josh swallowed hard, wishing he’d never said that, wishing
he could take it back. Justin leaned forward and whispered.
“Be
my slave”
“What?”
Josh asked confused.
“That’s
a joke right?” Josh asked, wanting him to say yes but from the expression on
Justin’s face he really wasn’t kidding.
“You
can’t be serious” he said in disbelief, shaking his head.
“Oh
but I am”
“Justin
please”
“Take
it or leave it” he shrugged.
“Doesn’t
matter to me, I won’t be the one who’s going to have to defend himself” he
added with a knowing smile, once again turning to walk away.
“Okay
okay, I’ll do it” Josh agreed quickly, what other choice did he have? He was no
where near popular, Justin Timberlake could ruin the little social life he had
and it was almost two years till graduation. If Justin outed him, he would
never be able to show his face again, or it would be a bruised face. Justin
smiled victoriously, for more than one reason, nodded once before he turned and
walked away.
***
Josh
sat flabbergasted, his French teacher went completely unheard as he thought of
the deal he’d made with the guy who’d found out his biggest secret. The secret
he’d protected throughout his whole high school career. One moment, one
unfortunate moment and this could be the end of his secret. He realized this
all too well.
The
deal he’d made was nowhere near watertight. He knew all Justin had to do was
blab whether by accident or on purpose and he’d be doomed. Everyone would know
then that he was gay and being gay would be anything but accepted. Maybe if he
was anywhere near popular it wouldn’t be so bad but since that wasn’t the case
he knew acceptance was something he shouldn’t hold his breath for. He feared
only bad things would come off it and therefore he’d agreed to go along with
the ridiculous suggestion of becoming Justin’s slave.
That
was another thing, what exactly did he mean by that; to be his slave? He
wondered what would be expected of him. He knew it couldn’t be anything good
and he decided to avoid Justin as best as he could. If Justin didn’t see him,
he wouldn’t be able to take him up on their agreement. Josh sighed heavily,
dropping his head in his hands.
Why
did I have to be gay?
And
why out of all people did it have to be Justin Timberlake to find out about it?
