Chapter 24
Josh sighed relieved as he closed the door behind
him after diner that evening. Henry had left him alone, thinking Josh was
working on his assignment and well in
a way he was. Henry thought he’d stayed at Lance’s house all afternoon and Josh
was content with that although Henry wouldn’t really care if he said he’d been
in detention. Henry was only concerned about the money, all the other things
Josh did; he could care less.
Josh had planned to think about what he was going
to say during those long detention hours but found out he didn’t have time for
it. Mr. Henman had planned Josh’s punishment very well. Josh had just lowered
himself in his seat when Mr. Henman had come in, carrying a very thick book
under his arm. It turned out to be the Penal Criminal Code. As Mr. Henman had
placed it in front of him all Josh could think about was; where the hell did he
get this from?
Who in their right minds had a Penal Criminal Code
in their bookcase?
Well apparently his principal did and Josh had not
been happy about it once he’d found out what he was supposed to do. Mr. Henman
had flipped it open at the register, searched for the right crime and turned to
page 159; Theft and Robbery.
“This is your assignment for the next two weeks”
he’d said.
“You copy the pages…” Josh had looked up at the
man, hovering over him.
“One by one” Mr. Henman had smirked and Josh
groaned.
Mr. Henman had shoved a stack of papers in front of
him and with a warning, not to slack off because he’d be reading and checking it,
and the instruction to get to work
he’d left Josh alone where he had to copy all the laws, and the consequences
when you broke those laws, for the next two hours. It sucked because not only
had he been forced to stay seated he’d also been forced to write down all the
laws and repercussions for the crimes. He couldn’t help but read some of them
and he got scared; it was probably what Mr. Henman was trying to accomplish. If
he scared him off, made him aware of the punishments for the crimes he
committed, he might stop. But like everything in his life; it was not that
simple.
Before he knew it, he found himself in front of
Lance’s house. He was ready to explain but he still wasn’t quite sure of what
he would explain exactly. He rang the doorbell nevertheless and waited for
Lance to open the door. A few moments later he did.
“I’m sorry” Lance said almost immediately, he was
sorry for what he’d said earlier, he was disappointed in Josh but he hadn’t
given him the opportunity to explain. Josh was taken aback by that.
“I didn’t give you a chance to explain” he
elaborated.
“I’m sorry, Lance. I just I was ashamed and stupid”
Josh said, he didn’t know how else to explain. Lance smiled.
“Come in” he said, opening the door wider and Josh
smiled too, although he was vaguely aware of the fact Lance hadn’t said it was
ok but what he didn’t know was that Lance had other plans with that.
They entered the living room and plumped down on
the couch, easily settling into the usual routine; watching TV on the couch. Josh
slowly relaxed and watched the movie but Lance was not really watching the
movie. He was waiting for the right opportunity.
“Why do you steal from people?” Lance blurted.
He’d pretended it was all good between them because
he’d known Josh was on his guard when he came over. He’d decided then that he
would wait a while till Josh was at ease and then catch him off guard in the
hope he would get some honest answers. There was also a second reason; he hoped
he would find out his motives, Josh’s motives for robbing his house. He’d hung
out with Josh for months now and although he’d mostly let the question go, it
was still not erased from his mind and he actually still wanted to know. He
hoped this was a good opportunity to do so. Josh looked at him strangely, not
expecting the question.
“What do you mean?” he asked, stalling to answer
him.
“I mean… why do you steal?” Lance repeated his
question, aware of Josh’s stalling technique.
“What kind of a question is that?” Josh laughed,
trying to brush it off. But Lance didn’t share in his laughter; he stared hard.
“It’s a very simple one” he replied with a straight
face.
Josh’s smile fell off his face quickly and he
dropped his head, he looked down at his hands as he mumbled, “No it’s not”
“Josh why did you break into my house?”
Josh said nothing.
“Why do you steal anyway?”
“I just do” Josh replied vaguely. He hadn’t been
expecting this. He’d been relieved when Lance didn’t dig deeper about finding
out he got arrested. He should have known it was not the end of it, he should
have known but he’d been oblivious and ignorant.
“Why?” Lance persisted.
“Why?” Josh repeated incredulously as if he’d never
heard of the word.
“Yes, why?” Lance calmly repeated again.
“Because… because…” Josh stammered, he had to think
of something quick.
“Because… it’s fun ok!” Josh blurted.
“Fun?” Lance repeated now as if he didn’t know the
meaning of the word.
“Yes fun” Josh repeated it a bit more determined
and confident although he didn’t believe his own words.
“I don’t believe that” Lance stated simply,
honestly. He just didn’t believe Josh enjoyed it, not after seeing the look in
his eyes.
“Fine then don’t. See if I care” he said sullenly,
defiant.
“Josh” Lance sighed.
“What?” Josh asked impatiently.
“What do you want from me?” Josh asked angrily but
it also sounded a lot like a whine.
“The truth” Lance stated. He again made it sound so
simple; Lance always had the tendency to do that, to make everything seem so
simple.
“I told you the truth”
“And I told you I didn’t believe you”
“Well I told you I didn’t care!” Josh said angrily
before he got up and stormed off.
He intended to go home but then remembered Henry
knew he would be with Lance tonight and he’d only been gone for an hour, sure
Henry would not be satisfied with that and he would go and ask a lot of
questions he did not want to answer. So instead of going home he bolted for the
bathroom and locked himself in there. He sat down heavily but jumped up
immediately as the pain shot through his ass. He gave a yelp, scaring himself
as it reflected off the bathroom wall tiles. He leaned against the wall
instead, composing himself; he could not break down, he could not give Lance
his answers, it was impossible.
Lance heaved a sigh as he watched how Josh stormed
off, thinking he was leaving before he saw Josh turn suddenly and a moment
later he heard a door close and being locked. He figured he’d run off to the
bathroom and wearily dropped his head in his hands.
Why was it so difficult to get some real honest
answers from Josh?
What was he hiding?
“I don’t know why I do it” a voice startled Lance.
His head snapped up and then he noticed Josh, standing in the door opening. He
stared at him questionably, too deep in thought to really comprehend what Josh
had said.
“I don’t know why I do it” Josh repeated as he
slowly walked further into the room.
“Then stop” Lance blurted.
Once again the easiness. Josh halted for a second,
sighing.
“I can’t” he said, ducking his head before he carefully
eased himself down on the couch, settling beside Lance.
“Why not?” Lance asked softly, not to sound
accusingly or to put too much pressure on his friend, sure he would pull back
if he did.
“I just… I can’t” Lance eyed him strangely and
curiously.
“Please accept that as my answer, please don’t make
me explain” Josh almost begged, meeting Lance’s eyes.
“Why not Josh?” Lance continued to ask in that soft
caring tone of voice.
“I can’t… I just… can’t” he repeated.
“It’s too complicated” Josh breathed, looking away
for a second.
“Let’s just have a good time please. I don’t want
to talk about it. I thought you forgave me for all of that. We put it in the
past?” Josh continued then, getting a bit more defensive.
“We did… I just… I need to know why” Lance finally
revealed the urge to know the reason why Josh broke into his house.
Josh sighed. “It was just a job Lance, nothing
personal. I didn’t even know you… just a job…”
Lance nodded, he probably still had questions but
Josh cut him off before he got a chance to ask them.
“Can we leave it at that… please?” he asked,
pleadingly. He’d revealed a bit but it was far from all of it, he just didn’t
want to think about it and certainly not talk about it.
Lance struggled; he still wanted to know more, sure
that was not all it was, wanting to know what had made him start stealing in
the first place.
What had happened to him in the past few years?
What did he do with the stolen stuff?
He wanted to know a lot more but he’d gotten
somewhere tonight, if he pushed too much Josh would probably close off
completely and that was something Lance didn’t want to have happen.
It would have to wait… again.
“Ok” he smiled, but he was not going to give up,
still certain there was much more going on than Josh was willing to tell.
***
“How is it going Josh?” Henry asked casually as he
stood up and approached his step-son.
Josh closed the door and stepped inside hesitantly.
He just came from Lance and he was tired, it had been a rough day and all he
wanted was to go to bed but Henry blocked the way and his plan. Henry was
referring to the job and although Josh was tired he was well aware of the fact
Henry was checking up on him.
“It um… it’s going good... sir” Josh lied through
his teeth but was obviously convincive since Henry smiled.
“Good. You find me that safe”
“Yes sir” Josh said before he carefully excused
himself to go to his room.
He sat on his bed carefully, realizing he’d done
nothing to reach Henry’s goal, to get him the information he wanted. He was
stalling and he knew it, stalling the moment he would have to betray Lance. He
knew he should actually start to make a plan; ask subtle questions but he
couldn’t bring himself to do it. Henry was under the impression he was on top
of it, working on finding the safe when in fact Josh had done nothing so far.
He knew he would have to soon but he didn’t want to
think about it now… he needed sleep so he stretched out on his bed, still
wearing his clothes too tired to change into his pajamas and he soon fell
asleep, pushing all the problems away… for one more night.
