Chapter 26
Today was Wednesday.
No big deal right?
Just another start of a new day. However this day
was not like any other day. Today was his birthday, not that anyone else would
care or even know, but it made the day a little different. He turned seventeen
today, he was one of the youngest kids in his class but no one knew just like
they didn’t even know when it was his birthday, let alone that they knew how
old he was going to be.
Josh slid out of bed, getting dressed and ready for
school. He halted in front of the picture frame, the only one that stood on his
desk. It was a picture of his mother and he smiled sadly, pretending to hear
her say; ‘Happy Birthday Joshua’. She would have said it for real if she had
still been alive but she was gone and no one else would wish him a happy
birthday.
He shuffled into the living room and saw Henry
already sitting at the kitchen table, his head down, eating the cereal from his
bowl. Josh sat down opposite from him, sliding in his seat without a word. He
grabbed for the cereal and got the bowl that was already on the table, along
with the milk and a spoon.
He was about half way through when Henry finally
looked up, he’d finished his own bowl and was now staring at his step-son. Josh
didn’t look up and kept quiet. Henry suddenly got up and Josh tensed
immediately, drawing up his shoulders and ducking his head lower as he heard
Henry shuffle through the room. As the footsteps approached Josh couldn’t help
the slight bit of panic settling in his eyes. The footsteps stopped in front of
his chair and Josh slowly looked up, Henry noticed the fear in Josh’s eyes and
he smirked but did nothing about it. Josh just waited for whatever would come
but nothing happened, nothing painful anyway. Henry thrusted a 20 dollar bill
in his direction, no explanation why he got it but Josh knew it was for his
birthday. Henry just didn’t feel like congratulating him, giving him money was
enough he figured as he turned on his heel and disappeared through his bedroom
door. Josh watched him go and then looked down at the twenty in his hand,
whispering,
“Happy birthday to me”
***
Josh caught up with Lance at their usual meeting
point and they walked to school together. They talked a bit but Josh didn’t
bring up the fact that it was his birthday, maybe it was easier this way and
Lance had no clue.
Once they arrived at school however Josh caught
sight of Brad and a few of his lackeys who were surrounding their leader as
usual. For a moment Josh had hope they were not waiting for him but that hope
was shattered pretty quickly. As soon as he stepped inside the school gates he
was pretty much surrounded, Lance already worked out of the circle and held
away by one of the lackeys. Josh vaguely heard Lance demanding to know what was
going on but he was pretty much ignored. Josh at this point wished he was being
ignored; Brad was stepping closer to him and his lackeys blocked all the sides.
“Good morning Joshua” Brad smirked. Josh’s eyes
flew around the schoolyard, some kids joined the small group of Brad and his
lackeys, curious what was going on, other’s completely ignored it.
“Isn’t it a special day today?” Brad asked,
enjoying the feeling that Josh was too intimidated to answer him.
Josh shook his head no, hoping they didn’t know
today was his birthday but by the look in Brad’s eyes Josh knew it was no use
to deny it; they knew.
“No? January 21st? I could have sworn
today was a special day at least for you”
Josh didn’t answer, just waited.
“It’s your birthday isn’t it thief?” Josh cringed
at the name calling and the fact that they really knew about it being his
birthday.
A birthday was a fun day for everyone, you got
attention, presents and people thought about you but for Josh it was not a fun
day. The attention was unwanted and it wasn’t even positive attention, it was
just another thing they could use to hurt him and to make him understand no one
cared about him, no one liked him and no one even thought about getting him a
present. He wasn’t worth the attention nor the trouble of finding him a
present. He was simply not worth it and Josh got the message, loud and clear.
Josh looked the other way, fighting the tears as he
cautiously nodded.
“How old are you turning?”
Josh met Brad’s eyes, pleading to leave him alone
but of course Brad didn’t; he was enjoying this way too much to give it up.
“It’s a pretty simple question or can a thief only
count money?” Laughter surrounded him and it gave Brad a kick, deciding to make
Josh’s embarrassment worse he fired his next comment.
“Or you only keep track of your stolen money and
not your age?”
Josh ducked his head, whispering, “No”
“Oh my bad” Brad said sarcastically.
“I turned 17” Josh said with a bit more confidence
and strength in his voice. Seventeen, he sighed, he only turned seventeen this
year. All his classmates either were already eighteen or were close but not
Josh. He’d skipped a grade once; the teachers had been so proud of him and had
told his mother he was very promising. A bright kid and so he got to skip a grade;
he remembered how proud his mother had been then. If she could see him now…
“So young and already so screwed up” Brad hissed as
he gave Josh a shove. He tumbled backwards but kept his balance, he was just
caught of guard and he’d flinched when Brad had touched him but no one had
seemed to notice that, they were too busy laughing at him. Except for Lance,
who was trying to break through the circle and help his friend but he was not
allowed in and there was little he could do. He could only watch, helplessly as
Brad humiliated Josh in front of a lot of people. Lance was shocked to find out
it was Josh’s birthday, he hadn’t known but there was probably a lot he didn’t
know about Josh. Another vicious comment drew his attention back to the trapped
Josh.
“Maybe we should get Josh a birthday present” Brad
said loudly to the people surrounding them.
“Oh wait! I got something, we’ll invite him over
and he can just take something; it’s what you always do” Brad smirked satisfied
as people around them laughed loudly. When the crowd calmed down again, Brad
continued harassing Josh.
“So you got any stolen goods for your birthday?”
Brad smirked, getting in Josh’s face. Josh backed up automatically, afraid of
him now after the shove. Physical threatening always did the most to him and as
he was caught by one of Brad’s lackeys then pushed back toward Brad, he kept
his mouth shut.
“Yeah you probably did” Brad said angry, shoving
him backwards again, landing him once again in the lackey’s arms. Josh closed
his eyes and didn’t see the fist coming his way, it bore into his stomach and
Josh doubled over as the lackey released him. They left him coughing as he
barely remained standing, laughing loudly and hissing insults; fucking thief,
piece of shit, criminal. Josh blocked the voices out and concentrated on his
breathing, suddenly he felt a hand on his arm and he backed away, a slight
whimper escaping his lips.
“It’s ok, it’s just me” Lance’s voice reassured him
and he looked up into those gentle green eyes, he tried to smile but ended up
coughing, concerning Lance even more.
“Are you ok?”
“Sure” he coughed again, nodding to support his
answer.
“Can you walk?”
“I’m a thief Lance, a criminal, not an invalid”
Josh said angrily, taking his anger and frustration out on the wrong person.
“Come on” Lance said, supporting him, ignoring the
angry comment understanding where it came from. He left it all for now and led
Josh to their classroom, glaring at every single one of their classmates once
they walked in, challenging them to say a hurtful word but they didn’t. Some
smirked, others laughed under their breath, some where trying to hide it some
weren’t but no one said anything.
***
“So it’s your birthday?” Lance asked carefully as
they stood opposite off each other in front of Josh’s locker.
Josh eyed him, then nodded. “Yeah”
“Why didn’t you tell me man?” Lance asked, not
waiting for a response as he hugged his friend.
“Congratulations Josh”
“Thanks” Josh smiled shyly and a blush crept over
his cheeks.
“Make sure your wallet is still there” a voice,
they both recognized as Brad’s, said as he passed them by. Lance glared at him
but said nothing. He ignored him as he watched Josh duck his head.
“Ignore him” he said simply. Josh met his eyes and
smiled a little before dropping his head again as he heard people sniggering
behind him, obviously laughing at him.
“I’m sorry” Josh said suddenly.
“About what?”
“You know this morning, I was just… I didn’t mean
it” Josh apologized about snapping at Lance.
“Forget it” Lance dismissed, immediately changing
the subject.
“Why didn’t you tell me it’s your birthday today?”
Lance questioned again.
Josh shrugged, “It’s no big deal”
“What are you talking about, it’s your birthday, it
is a big deal” Josh shrugged again.
“You are having a party aren’t you?”
“No” Josh answered shaking his head.
“Why not?” Lance asked a little confused. Josh
shrugged. Seeing Josh wasn’t very talkative about this part he changed the
subject again.
“So, you got anything nice for your birthday?”
“You mean presents?” Josh asked as if he was just
informed of the fact you got presents for your birthday. Lance nodded.
“Yeah um… I got… um some money”
“Oh” Lance said surprised; money was so simple to
give he thought, his parents always bought him some stuff he really liked. Josh
immediately started to explain as he saw the surprised look in Lance’s eyes.
“Well um...
I just got money and I can go pick something I… like” he said, technically it
wasn’t a lie but it was more because it was easier for Henry then considerate
towards Josh so he would get stuff he really wanted.
“Oh right” Lance said, he hadn’t really thought
about it like that. He still thought it was a simple way out but maybe it was
perfectly normal at Josh’s house.
“What are you going to buy then?”
“I don’t know yet, maybe save it” Josh said
thoughtful. Of course Lance didn’t know how much he’d gotten; twenty dollars
couldn’t buy you a whole lot, at least not as much and as expensive as Lance
was used to. Saying he would save it would be safest, not to mention closest to
the truth. Saving it would be smart; saving it for desperate times, knowing
there were probably a lot more of those to come.
***
The rest of his birthday passed by without any
incidents. It was pretty much like any other day and Josh preferred it much
more than the commotion that morning. Josh felt like his whole life was one big
oblivion. No one really paid attention to him and when they did it was always
attention he did not want. His whole birthday was pretty much ignored and in
some way he liked it but there was also a big part of him that craved for a
simple birthday party, to have the opportunity to throw one and to get real
presents instead of easy earned money. But maybe he should just be grateful at
least Lance truly congratulated him.
***
However Friday night found Josh in front of Lance’s
house. It seemed normal but it wasn’t, at least Lance had been a bit strange
about inviting him. He did not really know what to expect but when he heard the
music coming from the house and saw the people inside dancing, he hoped but
actually was afraid to. He rang the doorbell and Lance smiled at him.
“Hey, Happy Birthday” he said again, hugging him.
Josh let himself be pulled into a hug, forgetting to mention his birthday was
two days ago but nevertheless allowed Lance to steer him into the living room.
He looked around, eyes wide as he let his eyes
travel the room. A bunch of people he recognized from school were spread out
over the living room, small groups stood around the room and a banner with Happy Birthday Josh hung from the
ceiling. There were tables with food and drinks, it looked like … it looked
like a birthday party. A normal birthday party, sure it couldn’t be for him,
normal was not in his dictionary but the banner clearly said it was for him.
Even Justin was here although Josh didn’t know why. He turned back towards
Lance, shocked and happily surprised.
“You…. you did this?”
Lance nodded with a smile, happy Josh liked it.
“For me?”
Lance continued to nod.
“Why?” Josh breathed, suspicion carefully tugged
away but it was there; why else would someone do this for him?
“Because it is… was your birthday silly!” Lance
exclaimed.
“Right” Josh mumbled, letting himself be pulled
into the living room.
***
“Let’s do presents” Lance announced sometime later.
Josh was enjoying himself. It wasn’t because of the fact that there were so
many of his friends, no, it wasn’t the fact that he got attention, no, it was
the sheer fact that this was his party, his birthday party. Someone had done
this for him. It was for him and that made it special.
A boy, Lance didn’t know the name of, called to
him, “Hey man you said free beer you ain’t said nothing about bringing a
present!”
Lance glared at him. “Then what the fuck do you
think you’re here for?!” he snapped at the boy.
He shrugged carelessly, he was only here for the
free beer, he’d seen Josh before and he’d talked to him a few times, sure, but
he wasn’t here for him at all. Apologizing for bumping into someone didn’t mean
you knew that person but Lance wasn’t aware of that fact.
“Get out!” he yelled at him and waved his group of
friends away. Soon, everyone filed out of the room, realizing they hadn’t
brought a present they quickly disappeared.
The door closed behind them all and the only ones
who were left now were a very angry but ashamed Lance, Josh who was also
embarrassed but for a different reason, the one being he really had no friends
to celebrate a birthday party with and last but not least; Justin, who’d
witnessed it all and felt sorry for both Lance and even… for Josh. It was weird
to feel that way about Josh but although he still didn’t trust Josh, it didn’t
mean he wished this embarrassment upon him. He’d pretty much forgotten about
what he’d seen on Josh’s back. He’d been watching him for a while and he didn’t
really see anything wrong with him. Maybe it really was nothing, maybe he
really had hurt his back. Justin didn’t know, he found no answers and
unconsciously forgot about it, pushing it to the back of his mind.
Lance looked up shyly, eyeing Josh, searching for
anger in those blue eyes that always held a certain emotion. However he didn’t
find anger; he found shame and gratefulness.
“I’m so sorry Josh” Lance told him, regretful. He’d
wanted to give Josh a birthday party. He didn’t believe Josh didn’t want to
have a birthday party and maybe Josh was just afraid to ask people to come,
without actually thinking it over Lance had decided to throw him a birthday party.
It hadn’t been easy, he’d observed Josh and tried to find some people he hung
out with but it were very few so he just decided to invite a couple of people
who wouldn’t hate Josh. Add the free beer and people would want to show up.
That would be a good idea but it backfired. Now they only came for the free
beer, he’d wanted to give Josh a birthday party but it sucked, maybe now he’d
been better off without a party altogether. He would have been spared the
humiliation he was sure Josh was feeling now.
Josh shook his head as he swallowed firmly.
“It’s ok Lance”
“No, I’m stupid and I’m sorry. I wanted more people
to be here” Lance told him, then bit his tongue, it wasn’t what he wanted to
say.
“It’s ok” Josh reassured him quickly, he didn’t
want to hear the apology, he wanted to forget.
“I know you probably forced Justin to come as well.
You can go if you want to” Josh said to Justin hoping he would leave and he
could go home himself and crawl away from the world and all the shame and
humiliation it brought him. He’d enjoyed himself thus far but of course nothing
could go right in his life. Not even for one night. However for some reason
Justin shook his head no.
“I’m good, I’m staying” he smiled a little.
Josh’s head snapped up, his eyes flying to Justin;
he actually smiled a little. Josh couldn’t help thinking Lance had paid Justin
to be here, why else would he be here? But the smile convinced him otherwise at
least somewhat, maybe just maybe he wanted to be here. Lance smiled as well,
maybe the evening was not lost; he still hadn’t gotten the chance to give Josh
his presents and now would be a good time.
“Let’s do the presents now” Lance announced,
glancing from Justin to Josh and back. Justin nodded.
“You bought me presents?” Josh asked astonished.
“Of course! It’s your birthday, you have to have
presents” Josh nodded, a sad smile gracing his lips.
“Come on sit down, then we can begin” Lance
instructed, waving to the couch.
Josh nodded and sat down, Justin walked over and
sat down in the chair opposite of the birthday boy while Lance excused himself
for a second and almost ran from the room, eager to get Josh his present.
Neither said anything, Josh was afraid Justin would start about what he’d seen
in the locker room a little over a week ago but he did not. Maybe Justin had
forgotten about it, he really hoped so. Justin and Josh glanced around
uncomfortably, both avoiding eye contact, waiting for Lance’s return.
“Justin could you give me a hand?” Lance asked
suddenly, poking his head in the room. Justin stood gratefully and went to help
Lance.
Josh waited, a little nervous what would happen and
he soon found out. Lance and Justin came back out a few moments later, both
singing Happy Birthday; Lance
carrying a cake, the candles lit and Justin had his hands full with presents.
Josh’s eyes grew wide in astonishment. He could not believe this was all for
him. Lance was smiling as he walked over to him and placed the cake on the
table in front of Josh. Told him to blow out the candles and make a wish as
Justin placed the presents next to the cake on the table.
Josh looked at the presents and then in one breath
blew out the candles, it was not hard to think of something to wish for; never
have to steal again. But it was not likely that he would get his wish, not in
the near future anyway. Not if Henry had a say in it and Henry had a say in it,
and that was just the problem; it all lay in Henry’s hands and Josh knew he was
not going to stop making use of Josh’s swift hands.
It didn’t matter really because wishes were rare to
come true but you could always dream, wish your life was just a little better.
***
For the moment however his life was better; they
ate the cake and dealt out the presents. Josh got more shocked with each
present he opened, they would do all of this for him.
He could just not believe they would and why?
He asked repeatedly why they would do all of this
for him and Lance’s answer was the same every time; because it’s your birthday.
It seemed simple for Lance, a normal thing to have a birthday party when it’s
your birthday and it had been a normal thing for Josh as well. His mother never
missed a birthday and he’d had similar parties like this but when she died a
lot of things had died with her. Things he’d taken for granted for years,
things he had seen as normal seemed like a blessing now, they were now treats,
extra’s; no longer normal. He was lucky if he got through the day without any
incidents, without any bruises, without any harassment from the people around him.
It had all seemed so normal to be safe, to be protected and to be treated with
love and now when it all had been taken away from him he understood how happy
he’d really been, how lucky he’d been and how truly fucked up his life was now.
He just hoped it would someday, someday soon all
change…. for the better that was. Sure things could not get any worse but he
was mistaken, it could get worse, it could always get worse.
(A/N) I do know when Josh’s real birthday is, yes.
I’m fan enough to know that but since August 8th is summer vacation
(like my birthday always is grrr…) and it’s too early in the (school) year I
chose a different date. This one fitted best into the story, it’s got nothing
to do with Justin’s birthday.
