Chapter 32
“Showtime!” Henry yelled that evening, pounding on
Josh’s door. Josh tentatively opened his door and stepped out, ready to go.
“You got everything?” Henry asked, checking it for
himself, letting his eyes travel up and down to make sure Josh had everything
with him and in place. When he was satisfied he clapped him on the back, a
little rougher than would have been meant as friendly but Henry wasn’t being
friendly, he was warning and wishing him good luck at the same time.
Josh nodded anyway, in answer to Henry’s question
although he knew Henry was finding his own answer as he checked him over.
“Good” Henry said, pushing him towards the door.
“Here’s the bag, go get it” Henry said, clapping
his shoulder.
Josh once again nodded, “Yes sir”
“Good, get to work” Henry smiled as he opened the
door.
“I’d make sure to no come home empty handed. Got
that?” Henry said, warning him still.
“Yes sir” Josh said quickly, his eyes wide in fear.
“Go” Henry said, pushing him away from the door
before closing it in his face.
Josh turned seconds later, his heart weighing
heavily on his chest, his guilt bubbling back to the surface as he started
walking. He allowed himself one moment of weakness as he for a second stopped
fighting his tears. He let them fall for a few minutes but then composed
himself again.
He forced his body to listen to him as every step
took him closer to betrayal.
***
“Josh my boy!” Henry exclaimed happily, throwing
his hands in the air, a joyous look on his face. Josh, whose head was ducked
low, peered up at his stepfather. He lifted the bag from his shoulder and
stretched it towards him.
“Here” Josh said regretfully soft. Greedily Henry
snatched the bag out of his step-son’s hand and put it on the kitchen table,
peeling it open as if it were something breakable. Josh slumped against the
wall, nearby, but not too close to step in Henry’s way.
Henry started taking out piece after piece. Josh
dropped his head, closing his eyes tightly to force the tears back and to
prevent them from spilling as he was met with Lance’s family things. He tugged
his hands behind his back standing on the outsides of his feet, flipping back
and forth between standing on the bottom and sides of his feet. He was trying
to blend into the wall, hoping it would at least swallow him and end his sorry
existence if the first idea didn’t work. He prayed Henry wouldn’t bother him,
he prayed he would ignore him like he always did and by the sound of it, it
seemed to work. Henry was almost squealing like a teenage girl as he marveled
at the stuff or better; the value of the stuff.
“This is fucking great!”
Josh looked up a bit then, hope in his eyes he’d
satisfied his step dad but Henry never met his eyes. He continued with taking
the money out of the bag and as Henry took it all in his hands Josh ducked his
head again knowing he would go hide the money now. Josh jumped as Henry clapped
his hands together in excitement. He stepped in front of Josh who immediately
stood up straight.
“You did well my boy!” Henry praised but it wasn’t
directed towards Josh for very long, who nevertheless forced a smile on his
face.
“I trained you so well. I should be a teacher” he
smirked at his own bad joke. Josh’s smile fell off his face the second Henry
turned away from him and Josh slumped back against the wall as Henry went to
the kitchen table once again and started loading the things back in the bag.
“This is so much! I’m fucking rich! I have to go
over to Tony straight away” Henry rambled excitedly and Josh swallowed hard,
still fighting the tears. Henry could only be happy when he stole. Josh vaguely
wondered why Henry couldn’t be happy with the normal stuff people were happy
about. Why did it have to be this?
“I’m going to Tony” he announced, stopping mid-way.
“Don’t wait up” he smirked.
“I have to celebrate” he informed continuing his
step, passing Josh with a smile that even reached his eyes.
“Later kiddo” Henry said lightly, almost friendly,
before he shoved Josh and walked further to the door, whistling all the way in
one motion. Followed shortly with a door slamming shut.
Josh had stumbled from the shove but there wasn’t
the normal force behind it so he’d managed to stay on his feet, this once
anyway.
As he heard a car start in the driveway and hearing
it fade away in the next couple of minutes he finally lost his composure as he
was enveloped with silence. The tears were now impossible to push back and as
he was now alone and safe he let them fill his eyes. His vision blur only three
seconds later.
He stumbled towards his bedroom, even in his
heartbroken state still thinking ahead, considering the fact that when Henry
would get home later, definitely drunk, and he’d be laying on the floor asleep,
chances were pretty high he would get hurt. Even though Henry would be in a
good mood because of the money he’d just made, liquor always had the same
effect on him. It made him aggressive, even more aggressive than normal and
more importantly aggressive without a reason so laying peacefully asleep on the
floor would almost be an invitation to get hit. Hiding in his room seemed a
better option, a safer one as well and on top of that his bed was softer and
warmer than the cold hard floor he’d laid on, on too many nights already.
He closed his bedroom door firmly behind him and
dropped himself on his bed. He totally let go now and the tears waterfalled
down his cheeks. He sobbed openly and loudly, for once he didn’t have to hold
back and he totally let go. He hugged his pillow to his chest as he curled into
himself. Crying himself to sleep.
