Chapter 40
“I’m so sorry I cuffed you” Justin whispered in
Josh’s ear, brushing his hair back while he continued to hold him.
Josh had finally woken up again. Soon after he’d
cried everything out he was exhausted and he’d fallen asleep against Justin. Till
his surprise Justin was still there, still holding him and still sitting in the
same position as when he’d fallen asleep. Justin had stayed with him the whole
time and he figured that was probably the reason why he’d slept so well. He
hadn’t slept this well in years, the fact that he’d felt safe and protected
definitely helped him relax enough to sleep peacefully.
They’d sat in silence for a while, Justin still
rocking them, Josh still clinging to Justin like a small child. When Josh was
asleep Justin had thought about some things and the cuffs came back among other
things. He wanted to apologize and after a few moments; giving Josh the
opportunity to wake up fully he’d figured this was as good time as any.
“It’s ok” Josh whispered, his voice muffled against
Justin’s chest.
“I really shouldn’t have done that” Justin said,
his voice full off sorrow.
“It’s really ok. I could have picked the lock if I
wanted to” Josh assured, revealing something without thinking.
“What do you mean?” Justin asked softly.
“I’m a thief, Justin. I could have picked the lock”
Josh said sadly.
“Why didn’t you?” Justin asked, his voice wasn’t
angry, just curious.
“I… don’t know… I guess… I was afraid” Josh
mumbled. Justin’s arms tightened around him as he pulled him close.
“You don’t have to be afraid anymore, I promise. I
won’t hurt you I swear” Justin promised softly. Josh snuggled against Justin.
“Thank you” he whispered. They lay like that for
quite some time, it was already dark outside and Justin figured they would eat
soon.
“Josh?” he asked, brushing a hand over his hair.
“Do you want to clean up or something for diner?”
Justin asked gently.
Josh nodded before he pulled back slowly.
“You can take a shower if you want” Justin offered.
Josh nodded again, still tentatively but Justin was
going to prove to him that he didn’t have to be afraid anymore. Someone had
hurt him, badly if it made Josh this scared, begging and pleading to not get
hurt. Justin pretty much knew it had been Josh’s stepfather, but he still
couldn’t be sure. He’d have to ask Josh… but not now. Josh cautiously slid out
of bed, standing next to the bed as if waiting for permission, chewing his
nails nervously.
“I’ll show you where the bathroom is” Justin jumped
in with a comforting smile, taking Josh’s hand carefully, making sure Josh was
ok with the gesture before he led him to the end of the hall, flicking on the
light showing a shiny white bathroom. It was beautiful, Josh stared inside
almost afraid to step in and make it dirty.
“Come on in” Justin invited, pulling him in
slightly. Josh ducked his head, sighing as his feet sunk into the soft carpet.
Justin smiled sadly, wondering how Josh’s house even looked on the inside but
at the same time he didn’t want to know.
“Oh!” Justin exclaimed making Josh jump. He
squeezed his hand in a comforting matter before he continued his original
thought.
“Do you have any clothes here?”
“No” Josh said softly, shaking his head.
“But I can wear these, it’s ok” Josh reassured
immediately, not wanting Justin to get angry with him.
“I’ll throw those in the hamper. I’ll get you some
of my clothes and pajama for tonight”
Josh worried his bottom lip. “That’s ok, you don’t
have to do that” he said still softly.
“Josh,” Justin addressed him, squeezing his hand so
that he looked up.
“I’ll get you some clean clothes, it’s ok” Justin
reassured before releasing his hand, taking out some towels from the nearby
cabinet before disappearing down the hall, searching his drawers for some
clothes Josh would fit in. When he returned Josh was still standing on the
exact same spot as where he’d left him, in the same condition. Josh wondered
when he became so dependant and vulnerable. He wondered when Justin became so
caring, towards him.
“It’s ok Josh, come on. I’ll turn on the water and
leave you alone alright so you can take a shower. I’ll be in my room if you
need me ok?” Justin informed him, walking towards the shower turning it on
before he left the bathroom, thinking Josh didn’t want to get undressed in
front of him.
***
Minutes later Justin finally heard the splattering
of the water hitting the walls as someone stepped underneath the stream.
Absentmindedly he picked up a magazine and flipped through it hastily, not
really seeing or hearing anything except for the shower running. Only five
minutes later the water stopped and he heard shuffling in the bathroom. Another
few minutes later Josh was standing in front of him in his clothes.
Josh hadn’t taken his time for the shower, Justin
had hoped Josh would take his time to enjoy it but Josh was probably still too
afraid to really relax. Justin let his eyes travel from Josh’s bare feet up to
the baggy jeans that weren’t as baggy on himself as they were on Josh, the
pants just holding up and up to the long sleeved shirt that was really long
sleeved for Josh. He looked quite adorable in his outfit and quite sexy he
added but when he noticed how Josh ducked his head, staring at the floor
nervously and squirming under his gaze he snapped out of it quickly, not
wanting to make Josh uncomfortable. He swung his long legs over the edge of the
bed and stood.
“They’re a bit big aren’t they?” Justin chuckled.
Josh looked up.
“A little but it’s fine” he admitted with a small
smile however reassuring that it was fine only seconds later.
“I’ll get you a belt to hoist that up” Justin
smiled but Josh gasped, stumbling backwards. Justin opened his drawer once more
and took out the first belt that came within his reach, he took it out, not
having seen Josh’s reaction. He held it up as he spun around.
“Here you go” he froze in mid step as he took in
Josh’s reaction.
“Josh what’s wrong?” Justin asked concerned as he
stepped towards him but Josh only pushed himself further against the wall, his
eyes firmly fixed on one thing; the belt in Justin’s hand. When Justin reached
him, he was literally quaking with fear and Justin finally noticed his fixed
gaze. The belt. Oh no this couldn’t be true Justin pleaded in his head. But
from Josh’s reaction it probably was. Without hesitating Justin threw the belt
over his shoulder, sending it flying into his room not even looking or caring
where it landed. He put his hands up in front of Josh, showing him the belt was
gone.
“It’s ok Josh. I’m not going to hurt you I swear.
It’s gone” he reassured. Josh’s tense shoulders slumped and he broke down in
sobs, Justin there in an instant to wrap him in his strong protective arms.
“It’s ok Josh. Everything is ok, you’re safe” he
whispered, rocking them once again, comforting Josh once again and he had an
idea it wouldn’t be the last time.
Not by far.
***
Finally he’d gotten Josh quiet, he’d stopped
shivering and Justin had gently brushed his tears away before taking him
downstairs. They ate together on the couch for once; Lynn noticing something
was wrong right away. They watched TV as they ate and throughout the rest of
the evening, letting Josh decide what he wanted to see. Justin noticed he just
stared at the TV, silly as it sounded; Josh hadn’t watched TV in quite some
time and Justin noticed that too. He handed Josh the remote control saying he
could pick something but Josh declined saying whatever he wanted to watch was
fine. Justin didn’t want to force him, knowing it would probably make him
uncomfortable so he took the remote and scanned through the channels, watching
Josh out of the corner of his eye to see what he liked, finally settling on a
channel which ran an episode of Star Trek; The Next Generation. Josh seemed to
like it, at least by the look on his face he did.
They watched TV, Josh totally engrossed in the show
a small smile tugged at his lips from excitement. Of course he didn’t tell
Justin that this was his favorite show; he hadn’t seen it in ages and he loved
every minute of it. They watched a few more things before they called it a
night. Going upstairs Justin gave Josh his pj’s, these also were too big but
they made Josh look so cute. Justin quickly shook that thought as he walked
with Josh to his room even tucking him in. Josh once again told him he didn’t
have to do that but Justin insisted. Nevertheless he smiled a little; Justin
was so caring. He didn’t know what had changed it. Didn’t Justin used to hate
him? You sure wouldn’t say if you saw him now.
“Goodnight” Justin whispered sweetly. Josh softly
said Goodnight as well as he watched
Justin move to the door. Josh bit his lip; debating.
When Justin was about to leave the room the meek
whisper; “Stay… please” drew him back to the bed. He took Josh in his arms once
again, comforting and keeping him safe, rocking them till he fell asleep.
