Chapter 41

 

“Can I… ask you a question?” Josh asked timidly. Justin turned towards him, he was making some sandwiches for the both of them as they’d planned a quiet night in front of the TV. Justin’s parents went out and that left Josh and Justin alone on this Saturday night.

 

“Sure” Justin encouraged, turning back towards the sandwiches. Josh bit his lip, leaning against the counter, his arms crossed over his chest in some sort of protection.

 

“Why did you convince your parents to take me in?” Justin turned towards him once again, leaning against his side of the counter. Justin stared directly into Josh’s eyes as he answered him.

 

“Because I wanted to talk to you”

 

“About what?” Josh asked, slightly afraid.

 

“About what happened with Lance…” Justin said, seeing Josh growing scared in a matter of mere seconds.

 

“And why you did it” he added, looking at him knowingly. Josh squirmed under the intent gaze, he ducked his head, breaking eye contact as his eyes flew around; looking at anything, anywhere as long as he didn’t have to look at Justin, who was looking at him in an unnerving way.

 

“There is nothing to tell” Josh mumbled before he spun around and walked away; into the living room. He plumped on the couch but Justin was only a few steps behind him, sitting on the coffee table; directly in front of him.

 

“Josh?” Justin addressed him. Josh stubbornly looked the other way, crossing his arms over his chest once again, closing himself off. But Justin didn’t back down, he simply waited, staring at him till he would give up and meet his eyes. Reluctantly Josh finally did meet his eyes with a defeated sigh.

 

“I have to be honest; when I first saw you at school and heard the stories that went around I couldn’t help but be suspicious of you. I didn’t trust you and I thought Lance was crazy when he tried to contact you but man… he was determined. I told him over and over again to leave you alone, not to trust you because I was so sure it would end badly. I didn’t know why he would hang out with you… then he told me how you two had met” Justin paused for a moment. Josh bit his lip, his eyes already watering as Justin confronted him with his thoughts.

 

“I thought he was crazy, I even persisted to have you arrested but he refused. I asked him why he wouldn’t and he told me; something isn’t right. I thought he was crazy but then when you robbed him…”

 

Josh had tears streaming down his face, biting his lip to stop them but failing miserably.

 

“I knew something wasn’t right” Justin said directly.

 

“I know something isn’t right” he stated.

 

Josh looked away quickly, once again avoiding eye contact.

 

“Josh, I saw the bruises. You are terrified when someone comes close, you flinch when someone touches you…” Justin summed up gently. Josh sniveled, tears still streaming down his face.

 

“Josh?” Justin addressed the sobbing boy gently. His watery eyes met Justin’s concerned ones.

 

“Did your stepfather hurt you?” he asked straight forward but his voice was soft, full of compassion and concern but determined to get to the bottom of this.

 

Josh wasn’t really shocked to hear the question; he’d figured Justin was getting to that with his enumeration. Justin had seen his bruises some time ago, he knew Justin wasn’t a fool although he’d made up some excuse he’d been pretty sure Justin didn’t believe him, however he had to make sure he believed him back then but now he no longer had to keep up pretence. Nevertheless he was amazed Justin would ask this straight forward. He worried his bottom lip.

 

“Josh you can trust me, I only want to help you” Justin assured him softly and calm. Josh nodded slowly.

 

“Yes” a whispered answer. His head ducked. Justin scooted closer unconsciously.

 

“Often?” he further inquired. Josh looked up tentatively eyeing Justin with shimmering eyes.

 

He nodded slowly.

 

“A lot?”

 

Again he nodded.

 

“When would he hit you?” the tone of his voice was so soft, so kind, soothing and Josh looked up to meet Justin’s kind, warm, intrigued and very concerned eyes. He wanted to know and Josh thought it couldn’t hurt to tell him, he’d kept it a secret for so long and he didn’t want to keep it to himself any longer, he didn’t want to have to hold it in and frankly he didn’t think he could. Josh sighed, wiping away his tears a bit.

 

“When… I didn’t listen” he revealed softly, his fingers nervously fidgeting in his lap.

 

“What did he tell you to do?” Justin gently prodded.

 

“He usually told me to… steal” Josh said, his voice ending in a whisper as he fearfully glanced at the boy who was sitting opposite of him on the coffee table.

 

“What did he tell you to steal?”

 

Josh glanced down, fixing his eyes on his hands that were still nervously wringing in his lap. He swallowed hard. “At first it were wallets or…. valuable things he could… well… sell again”

 

“Where did you steal those things?” Justin asked another question; his voice kept low and gentle to soothe Josh and reassure him he was safe. He hadn’t planned this conversation but Josh seemed to be open for confession and Justin used this.

 

“At… at school” Josh said softly, ducking his head fearful of his reaction. When Justin didn’t say anything he went on automatic defense.

 

“I didn’t want to I swear! I never wanted to steal I’m sorry! I’m sorry…. please… I never wanted to” he cried frantically despite Justin’s reassurances that it was ok. It didn’t calm Josh however.

 

“It’s ok Josh shh calm down it’s alright” Justin continued soothingly, grasping Josh’s hands in attempt to calm him.

 

“It’s ok” he urged, reassuring him. Josh slowly calmed down and Justin saw it was time for his next question, releasing his hands.

 

“Why did he want you to steal?” Josh brought his right hand to his mouth and started chewing his finger nails nervously, his eyes darting around the room in panic.

 

“It’s ok Josh it’s ok” Justin told him again in a soothing and warm voice.

 

“He… he didn’t want to get a job” he answered finally, his eyes nervously darting around the room.

 

“Why didn’t he steal himself?” Justin asked a little confused and angry as well.

 

“He used to… before he married my mom but he said it was too… risky” Josh explained cautiously, his voice soft again, recognizing the anger in Justin’s voice.

 

“Did he teach you about theft?”

 

Josh nodded before he shuddered; the memory of learning everything Henry knew about theft for weeks on end, day in day out and all the tricks Henry had used, for him to learn it fast.

 

“Why did he think it was okay to get you involved in his world?”

 

Josh shifted nervously.

 

“He um… he… I’m underage so… yeah” Josh explained, gesturing wildly as the words failed him.

 

“What does that matter?” Justin asked confused.

 

“When I get caught… they’ll go easy on me because I’m underage. That’s what Henry said” Josh told him shrugging a little at the end.

 

“But if you just stole wallets and stuff how did you end up robbing Lance’s house?” Justin asked. Josh slumped and he lowered his head as far as possible at the mention of Lance’s name. Josh’s eyes brimmed with tears.

 

“I’m sorry I didn’t mean to. I didn’t want…” he sniffed.

 

“Josh it’s ok. Just tell me what happened please” Justin asked gently.

 

Josh nodded, “K” he took a deep breath.

 

“Henry… Henry sometimes he would get bored… or… or he’d want to buy something and with the money I stole he couldn’t pay for that…. so he sometimes…. wanted me to break into a house so he could…. buy more” Josh explained, his voice soft; shame taking his volume, pausing now and then.

 

“Did you ever get some of the money you stole?”

 

Josh shook his head, “No never. When… when I…. stole…. a wallet or something I always had to give it to him immediately before I went to… steal another” Josh lowered his head for a moment, swallowing before he brought it up again, looking at Justin as he continued.

 

“When we got home he used to always… hide the money from me. I didn’t know where, I never looked. He’d…” Josh looked down again.

 

“… hit me if I looked, I only made that mistake once” Josh told him. Josh’s head was still lowered and he was looking down at his hands fidgeting in his lap. Justin was grateful for that as he quickly blinked back the tears that were slowly building in his eyes at the heart wrenching story of this unfortunate boy.

 

Josh had been going to the same classes for 2 years but Justin had never noticed anything. He never bothered with him; his reputation was hard to miss.

 

How could he have been so blind?

 

When did he start listening to what other people thought?

 

When did he start caring what they thought of him?

 

Why didn’t he see something sooner?

 

Why did it have to go this far for him to notice something was wrong?

 

Lance had been the only one seeing something was wrong everyone else had already accepted to ignore him, pretend he wasn’t there. Lance had forced him to think, forced him to listen to his instincts instead of what he heard day in day out at school. Lance had made him see there was something wrong. He’d helped them and he’d paid the price for it. Justin wanted to pay him back; Josh would tell his story and Justin would make it all right again… he hoped. He scraped his throat.

 

“How… how did you end up in Lance’s house?”

 

“Henry always… picked the houses, he… um… did some research and he found out Lance’s house didn’t have… an alarm system and there were plenty of… valuable things laying around that he could use so he… well… told me to go in and… um… steal it, said they always went out to diner on Thursday so that would be… the best opportunity” Josh revealed, still looking down. He could not tell this and look Justin in the eye at the same time.

 

“What happened?” Justin asked gently, he still eyed Josh although Josh hardly met his eyes. He figured Josh was probably ashamed and Justin understood that, he was just glad Josh was sharing this with him.

 

“I went in… and… stole some stuff but then… someone told me to freeze; it was… Lance… with a gun, apparently… he didn’t go to diner that night” Josh’s sentences were still coming in bits and pieces.

 

“How did you get out?”

 

Josh looked up, finally staring him in the eye as he answered.

 

“He let me escape”

 

“How did you end up there a second time?” Justin asked after he swallowed; the emotion in Josh’s eyes with that revelation was big. Josh immediately dropped his gaze again.

 

“Henry found out I… um… was friends with Lance and… well… before I knew it he told me to… um… find out if there was a safe so I could break in… again. I refused but…” Josh trailed off closing his eyes tightly as the memories rolled by.

 

“But what?” Justin asked cautiously.

 

“I really didn’t want to do it but…” Josh looked up with his answer but dropped his head and closed his eyes as he whispered, “He hurt me”

 

“He hit you?” Justin asked astonished, scooting to the edge of the table. Josh nodded with tears in his eyes.

 

“Yeah” he croaked.

 

“He was always so… so much bigger and stronger… and… and he had so much power over me I couldn’t do anything” tears were falling down his cheeks, he brushed them away with the back of his hand.

 

“I was… powerless. The only thing I could do to… protect myself was to do what he said…” Josh trailed off.

 

“So you did…” Justin finished, nodding, understanding now.

 

“So you found out where the safe was and robbed Lance” Justin asked to clarify.

 

Josh nodded sadly. “I swear I didn’t want to and I’m…. so sorry. He just hurt... me, so bad…everything hurt” Josh sniffed, shaking his head as he thought about the pain he’d been in, wanting to shake that memory.

 

“Lance… I betrayed him so badly, he’ll never want to see me again. He was my… my… only friend. I had no choice! I tried to tell him, I tried to explain but he wouldn’t listen. I’m sorry” Josh pulled his feet onto the couch, wrapping his arms around his knees and sobbing quietly and in all earnestly into his knees.

 

Justin’s heart broke. He hesitated only for a brief second before he moved to the couch, sitting next to Josh hugging his shoulders. Josh fell into the touch grateful for the affection. Justin rested his back against the back of the couch and pulled Josh with him letting him rest his head on his chest before he encircled the slim and slightly quivering body in his strong arms. When Josh’s sobs turned into soft sniffing he sat up a little, gazing up at Justin with huge, blue, childish eyes.

 

“I’m sorry” Josh whispered.

 

Justin smiled warmly, “It’s ok Josh” he whispered before slowly leaning in. He didn’t know what possessed him, all he knew was that he had to feel those lips against his. One gentle kiss on the lips, startling them both but neither said anything. Justin pulled Josh back against him and Josh allowed him, curling onto the couch against Justin.

 

“Go to sleep Josh” he gently prodded as he kissed his forehead.

 

“You’re safe now, he won’t hurt you again” he whispered. Josh believed him immediately and was soon out like a light. Justin however sat slumped on the couch, letting Josh’s stories roll through his mind. He glanced down at the boy in his arms.

 

The beautiful misfortunate boy.

 

***

 

Two years of being in the same classroom, seeing each other day in day out and Justin never had a clue what happened when Josh went home. He still of course didn’t know what happened to him in details but he now had a fair idea. He couldn’t believe that while he was safely at home, doing his homework or watching TV with his mother on the couch that Josh was only a few miles away; scared to death and in pain. Justin couldn’t shake that thought. He couldn’t stop thinking about all the horrible things that had happened to Josh; the harassment of his classmates and Mr. Zaggery, the hard and painful years he’d had to endure and the worst thing was; he had to endure it all alone.

 

When Josh was sound asleep Justin carried him upstairs and gently placed him on the bed where Josh immediately curled in a ball on his side. As Justin stood over him, staring at him from above he felt the tears prick in his eyes. All the nasty things he’d said, he’d pushed Josh away, he’d avoided him, looked at him as if he were scum and in fact he was. But now he knew the real deal and Josh was far from scum. Josh was beautiful and wonderful but very misfortunate. If only he’d seen it sooner…

 

“I’m so sorry Josh” he whispered in the dark as he brushed his hand over Josh’s hair.

 

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