“I understand”
“Yes I know but we had a lot of other things on our
mind”
“I know”
“Yes”
“Yes, I’ll make sure of that”
“Ok, bye” Lynn hung up the phone with a sigh.
She needed to talk to Justin.
***
Josh had discovered the library Justin’s house
possessed and often spent his afternoons there. Paul had showed him the room
and told him about the things they had. Josh’s beam could have lit up the room
and Paul smiled sadly. He’d heard from Justin what had happened to him and when
you hear about those things happening; the only question Paul could ask himself
over and over again was; how can someone do this to a child? A child who can’t
defend himself. Although Josh was almost 18 he was still a child… an abused
child and Paul felt so helpless. He took Josh to the library and showed it to
him, assuring him he could take any book he wanted. Josh immediately inspected
the shelves, tilting his head to read the titles on the spine of the books. He picked one and
stretched, eyeing Paul timidly.
“It’s ok. Take it to your room and read it. That’s
a very nice choice” he smiled, once again reassuring him. Justin had also told
him how much reassurance Josh needed and Paul didn’t mind giving it to him. He
knew Josh was afraid of screwing up but Paul only wore his smile and reassured
him once again.
This night Josh was upstairs in his bedroom;
reading once again. Justin was on the couch, watching the sports channel when
his mother came in the room, sitting next to him.
“We need to talk Justin” she stated, stretching for
the remote and switching the TV off. Justin looked at the now black screen
before turning to his mother.
“What did I do?” he asked confused. His mother only
said that when something serious was going on.
“You didn’t do anything,” she informed him. “unless
there is something you want to tell me?” she added.
“Uh…no” Justin shook his head.
Lynn sighed, “Ok… it’s about Josh”
“Josh?”
“Yes” she confirmed.
“His social worker called…”
“He’s not in trouble is he? He’s doing so well!”
Justin asked fearful before he started defending immediately.
Lynn shook her head. “No, no… well not yet but…”
“Mom, what are you trying to tell me?” Justin asked
straight forward; he needed to know.
“Justin honey; Josh needs to go to school”
Justin’s eyebrows furrowed. “Why?”
“It’s a condition. When he got out of the detention
center he should have gone to school but he was a mess. Paul and I decided to
let him stay here for a few more days but… I’m afraid we can’t keep doing that.
Mrs. Grandon said he might be put back in the detention center if he refuses”
Lynn revealed. They’d known Josh should have gone to school immediately but
they just couldn’t. He was a wreck; how could they have sent him to school?
Paul and Lynn had talked about it together and decided to let him stay home for
a few extra days but they couldn’t get out of it anymore.
“What?” Justin asked astonished.
“I’m sorry honey but he needs to go back to school.
I’ll call the principal tell him he’ll return on Monday… I could talk to Josh
as well but I thought it would be better if you did that. He trusts you” Lynn
smiled.
“Thanks mom”
Lynn smiled her welcome,
cupping her son’s cheek before she got up to make the phone call to the
principal as Justin prepared to tell Josh he had to go to school again. The
school he hated, the school where everyone hated him and where everyone knew
what had happened.
It would be tough… he just hoped that now having
Lance and himself it would be easier for Josh. Maybe it would be… but he could
only hope.
***
“Why don’t you come to school with me?” Justin
casually dropped in the conversation.
Josh shook his head no, hoping that with that
simple gesture Justin would forget about it. But he didn’t, he couldn’t.
“You have a right to be there Josh”
“I don’t care if I have the right to be there. I
don’t want to go” Josh stated firmly.
“Why not?” Justin asked gently, getting angry would
get him nowhere. Josh sighed.
“I don’t want to go, I don’t want the harassing
anymore” Josh stated, looking into Justin’s eyes.
“Besides what good will it do me? They’ll lock me
up in a few weeks anyway” Josh shrugged sadly.
“Maybe it won’t come to that” Justin reasoned.
“Don’t lie to me Justin please. I can handle the
truth just please don’t lie”
“I’m sorry”
“It’s ok, I appreciate it” he smiled.
“I just wish you would come to school with me”
Justin sighed.
“I can’t face those people” Josh whispered.
“There really is no point in going anyway; I won’t
be able to stay very long”
“Josh come on. You act like you’re going to get
locked up for life. You heard the lawyer it won’t be that long” Justin
reassured him.
“I know” Josh sighed.
“And I’m here. I’ll stay with you”
Josh looked up at Justin as his strong arms
encircled him. “I really don’t deserve you Justin… but thank you” Josh
whispered, snuggling close.
“You do deserve me. I’m lucky to have you and so
lucky Lance forced me to think. Look what I would have missed” Josh smiled his
shy smile as his cheeks flushed. Justin brought his lips closer to Josh’s,
kissing him sweetly.
“Just think about school ok?” Justin asked softly,
when they finally broke the kiss.
“Ok” Josh agreed, nuzzling against Justin’s chest
as Justin kissed the top of his head.
***
Josh actually didn’t think about it; he didn’t want
to go. He was determined but Justin was determined as well. He kept asking him
throughout the weekend and Josh got suspicious as the question popped up more
often in those short few days. Justin was just too persistent. Justin hadn’t
told Josh about the phone call from Mrs. Grandon and he hadn’t told Josh what
could, possibly, happen if he didn’t agree soon. Justin had wanted to convince
him without revealing the repercussion because he didn’t want Josh to worry.
However he now realized he couldn’t keep it from Josh any longer.
“Josh why won’t you come to school with me?” Justin
asked for the millionth time. It was Sunday afternoon and Justin realized that
time was running short. He needed to convince him and if that didn’t work, which
it probably didn’t, he needed to tell him.
“I already told you Justin. Why do you keep asking
me this?” Josh asked a little frustrated. Was Justin all of a sudden loosing
his hearing? He’d answered that question a million times, or was Justin just unwilling
to listen and accept the answer? Justin sighed, dropping his hands to the
sides; he had to tell him. Josh saw there was something by the look in his
eyes.
“Justin?” Josh asked timidly.
“What are you not telling me?”
“Let’s go sit down for a second” Justin suggested,
not waiting for Josh’s confirmation as he gently pushed Josh in the direction
of the couch.
“Justin you’re scaring me” Josh softly said.
“There’s nothing to be afraid of I promise. I just
need to tell you something”
“O..ok” Josh said shakily, not entirely buying the not having to be afraid of anything
line. He had a feeling that whatever Justin was about to say was not a good
thing.
“Alright” Justin started with a sigh.
“My mom got a call from Mrs. Grandon last Friday”
Josh’s eyes widened in fear. Mrs. Grandon would
only call when there’s trouble.
“What’s wrong? Do I have to leave? Am I gonna have
to go to back the detention center?” Josh asked wildly, fear in his voice.
“No, no, we don’t want you to leave” Justin denied
quickly.
“Oh” Josh sighed relieved.
“But then why did she call” he asked confused. If
he hadn’t done anything wrong…
“Did I do something wrong?” Maybe he had done
something without realizing it.
“No baby. Josh you didn’t do anything. There’s no
trouble. She called because… because you have to go to school” Justin paused
for a moment before he breathed the rest of his sentence, watching as Josh’s
shoulders slumped.
“Why?” he asked softly. “Why would she call about
that?”
“Because baby, it’s apparently a condition for when
they well... release you. She was just checking if you were back in school”
“Don’t lie to me Justin” Josh said softly. He knew
Mrs. Grandon wouldn’t simply check this. If she’d called she knew he wasn’t
going to school. Justin sighed, his shoulders slumped; he’d wanted to leave the
repercussion behind once again but Josh wasn’t stupid.
“Ok” he gave in. “She told my mom you have to go
back to school or… they could take you back to the detention center” he told
him finally, once again pausing in between before breathing out the rest of his
sentence. Josh shook and nodded his head at the same time; basically going
diagonal as he swallowed hard.
“O…ok” Josh breathed. Justin carefully eyed him.
“It won’t have to come to that. You can still stay
here if…”
“If I go back to school” Josh finished.
Justin nodded sadly, he knew how hard it would be
for him if he did go back to school but he had to if he didn’t want to end up
back in his cell.
“When… when will I have to go?” Josh asked shakily.
“Tomorrow” Justin answered carefully, scrunching up
his face in preparation for the outburst but it never came. Instead Josh nodded
his head.
“O..ok” he said softly once again.
“You’ll go?” Justin asked surprised he agreed this
easily.
“I don’t really have a choice, do I?” Josh asked
with a small smile, trying to lighten up the mood, tears shimmering in his
eyes. Justin didn’t answer; Josh wasn’t looking for an answer.
“I’m sorry” he said instead. Josh smiled.
“I’ll have to face them someday I guess” Josh said
bravely but Justin could tell he was not feeling very brave.
“I’ll stay with you the whole time” Justin offered.
“Thanks” Josh said grateful. Justin pulled Josh
against him.
“It will be ok Josh, you’ll see… it will be
alright” Justin reassured, kissing the top of his head as he rubbed his back.
Josh cried silently but he couldn’t hide it from Justin; Justin knew he was
crying and continued to soothe him.
“It will be ok”
