Life on the Move

By:  Chantal

Part 1

Justin sighed as he unpacked the last box and put the last pictures in place. He looked around the room; it looked nice. Don’t get used to it, he told himself, their next move was only months away. He didn’t know why he even bothered to unpack all those boxes.

“Hey sweetie, you settled in?” his mother asked as she walked into her son’s bedroom.

“Sure” he responded indifferently.

“Hey you didn’t unpack all your boxes” she noted, as she spotted the stack of boxes inside her son’s closet. His room was almost empty, a few personal belongings and his clothes had been hung up and put in the drawers. His schoolbooks rested on his desk of course but that was it. His CD’s, videos, books, magazines and posters hadn’t gotten a place in his room yet. She wondered if Justin intended to unpack them.

“What’s the point?” he countered indifferently.

“Justin” his mother said simply, a little bit of a warning in her voice. Justin just stared at his mother.

“Justin sweetie” Lynn started and Justin sighed inwardly. It was the pep talk she’d always give him after they’d just moved. She started it after the 18th move he believed. He was 16 then, the last year and a half had been the worst. They’d been living in Minneapolis, Minnesota for only three months when they got the call that they’d have to move again. They’d barely finished unpacking when it was time to pack again.

“I know it isn’t easy, it’s hard on all of us but your father didn’t choose this either”

“Yes he did” Justin mumbled but ducked his head when his mother stared at him; hard. They moved a lot but Justin didn’t know why exactly. His father was needed at army bases all over the country but what he did there was unknown to Justin. It was all very secretive and therefore harder to comprehend.

“Sorry”

“I know it’s hard to move” she sympathized.

“No you don’t” Justin countered.

“You don’t know what it’s like to have to start a new school again and again and again. To have to leave your friends behind time after time. Everytime I start to feel comfortable somewhere we have to move again, just because dad is needed on another base in some other state. It’s not fair mom” he ranted angrily before ending in a whisper, reminding her of the six year old who’d begged his mother to stay because he’d made such a nice friend.

Justin was angry yes and he took it out on his mother although he knew it was the same for her, she had friends too and it wasn’t easy on her either. She stepped towards her son, pulling him into a hug. She knew he was upset, although it was the same for her it wasn’t really. He was a teenager and although she hated leaving everyone behind time and time again, hated to not be able to be with her family as much she knew it was harder on her son. He had the most unstable existence you could imagine and she felt bad for him. He was young and he needed stability but unfortunately she wasn’t able to give him that.

“I know sweetie” she soothed, stroking his curls.

“I know”

***

Justin slumped as he stepped off the buss; another state, another city and another school. All new people and no friends. It was his first day but he was no longer nervous. He’d started so many first days at a new school, he was used to it.

He observed the school ground’s; it was pretty big, not as big as the school he’d went to in Chicago, Illinois though, when he was just twelve years old. No, no school could be that big. It’d been enormous, nothing like he’d ever seen before but it was so impersonal. It was the first time he’d been happy when the call came; it was time to move again. This school looked okay though, Justin had discovered that basically all the schools were the same. They looked the same; big and boring buildings, the people were the same; you had the jocks, the cheerleaders and the geeks in every school and they looked the same everywhere he went and another similarity; he fitted in nowhere, he wasn’t there long enough to belong to a clique of people, he was and would forever be the new kid.

He hoisted his backpack further onto his shoulder before walking towards the main entrance, along with dozens of other teenagers. Ready to start another day of school.

***

“Before I start today,” Ms. Andrews started, letting her eyes sweep over her students.

“I want to welcome a new student...” she said, finally settling on a new face.

“Justin Timberlake. He just moved here, from where again?”

“Dallas, Texas. Lincoln, Nebraska. Atlanta, Georgia. Minneapolis, Minnesota. Pittsburg, Pennsylvania. Indianapolis, Indiana. Tucson, Arizona, do I have to go on?” he asked sullenly. He was so sick of this; all he ever did was move. He didn’t want to move anymore.

“Uh, no” she said, a little taken aback by this response.

“Well, welcome” she smiled.

“Thanks” Justin replied. He slumped a little as she started her class. He thought it was nice of her to introduce him, not everyone did that. Not all homeroom teachers had noticed him but at the same time; he didn’t want to be noticed. He just wanted to go to school, deal with nobody and get his diploma. It was easiest that way, but easiest wasn’t always best.

***

Justin slumped as he got his lunch, he sauntered to a free table, avoiding everyone on his way. He sighed as he sat down with his lunch... alone. He didn’t want to make friends, it was no use anyway, in a few months he’d have to start all over again. He took out his book, started reading while he ate. It was noisy around him but Justin didn’t notice, he didn’t care. It was no use getting attached; it would just hurt more.

“Hey” someone addressed him.

Justin looked up wearily. He met stunning blue eyes, brown spiky hair and a friendly smile. The boy was dressed in baggy pants and a simple T-shirt. Justin’s first thought was, whoa he’s sexy. The smile therefore came easily.

“Hi” he greeted the stranger.

“Can I sit here?” the boy asked as he pointed to the opposite chair.

“Um... okay” Justin agreed, a little hesitant seeing he wasn’t really looking for friends, actually he was avoiding it. It just hurt too much to have to leave everyone behind. The boy kept smiling as he sat down.

“I’m Josh by the way, we’re in the same homeroom” he explained how he knew him.

“Oh, okay” Justin responded. Josh frowned. This kid was new but unlike other new kids this one didn’t seem to want to make new friends.

“Do you want me to leave, um...?” Josh asked straight forward, trailing off in a silent question to get the new kid’s name. Justin got the message and answered.

“Justin” he sighed.

“And no you don’t have to leave” he added in a sigh, answering the voiced question.

“Ah ha” Josh nodded once, a little sarcasm in the words and his voice.

“What?” Justin sighed. He seemed defeated already, he hadn’t even been here for a day.

“You don’t seem to be too happy with me being here, I can go if you want to” Josh responded, shrugging a little as he explained his tone from before.

“No you don’t have to, it’s okay, it’s got nothing to do with you” Justin reassured, although he didn’t really want to make friends he didn’t want to make enemies either.

“Did something happen already?” Josh inquired as he started eating.

“No why would you say that?”

“You already seem to be defeated and you’ve only been here for a day”

Justin smiled sadly.

“Nothing happened” he said, he however didn’t explain his attitude any further and Josh thought it was too soon to ask. He didn’t know him really.

“Okay” Josh smiled, accepting his answer.

Justin slumped in his seat, he knew he hadn’t really explained anything but he didn’t want to. He just wanted to make sure Josh wouldn’t feel guilty because it wasn’t his fault. Justin just felt miserable but that wasn’t Josh’s fault either.

“I didn’t mean to be rude and I’m sorry. It’s well... it’s got nothing to do with you, it’s just... I don’t want to be here” Josh smiled softly.

“I know” Josh said, thinking he understood. Justin sighed, shaking his head as he softly said.

“No, actually you don’t”

***

“Hey Justin” Josh called as he spotted the new kid by his locker.

Justin turned at the voice, recognizing the boy he’d had lunch with. Although Justin had been reluctant to talk to him, he had. He’d had a good time but that was exactly what he was afraid off. He would get too close to him and it always ended in saying goodbye. Therefore he sighed when he saw the boy again.

Josh noticed his reluctance once again; it was strange.

“Hi” Justin responded.

“Good first day?” Josh asked friendly.

Justin was actually amazed by his friendliness. His plan to not make any friends had been formed three moves ago and all those times it had been successful. People came up to him sometimes, they said hello but no one really bothered him or at least kept bothering him. They said hello and that was the end of it. No one had taken the trouble to get close, Justin hadn’t really let them either and so the last three times he hadn’t really made any friends. He no longer wanted to. However Josh was reaching out to him and if he were honest he didn’t want to reject the gesture. Honestly he felt so lonely and he did want friends. He just wanted them for more than three months. He actually didn’t know what hurt more, to make friends and to have to leave them behind again with the umpteenth move or avoiding all contact and having to deal with the loneliness of having no friends just so he could look forward to another city with no friends.

“It was okay” Justin shrugged indifferently but he smiled in Josh’s direction. Maybe his brain was saying staying detached was safest and for the best in the long run, his heart wanted to reach out to this boy. Because wasn’t it better to have a good time for a short while even though you knew it would be over again at an unknown time than having no fun at all? Josh smiled, nodding.

“You just moved here?” he asked although he already knew the answer. He just wanted to get to know him and starting with simple questions was always best.

“Yeah” Justin nodded but he couldn’t help the sigh.

“Where from?” he asked, this time a question he didn’t know the answer to.

“Tucson, Arizona”

“Wow” Josh said amazed, he’d lived here in Baltimore, Maryland his whole life and he actually found it interesting, he wished he could travel a bit.

“You lived here for a long time?” Justin returned the question, this wasn’t an interview he could ask questions too.

“Yeah, all my life really”

“That must be nice” Josh shrugged.

“It can be boring but it’s not bad, I like it here” he explained, sometimes he wished he could travel but being in the same place was nice too, it gave him a sense of familiarity and security.

“Hey I could give you a tour if you want, show you around a bit” Josh offered, he could understand if it was a lot to take in, new city and all and Josh was happy to help.

“Um...” Justin hesitated. He didn’t really want to because just like it was no use to make friends, it was no use to know his way around either. But Josh was sweet, offering to help him and he was cute too. He agreed.

“Okay”

Josh smiled satisfied. “Cool, shall I like pick you up or something?” he asked hesitantly suddenly. Justin couldn’t help but notice he was somewhat insecure suddenly. Justin smiled softly.

“Sure, I’ll give you my address and we’ll meet at like 7.30? Is that okay?” Justin decided to suggest something this time.

“Uh...” Josh scraped his throat quickly.

“Yeah sure”

“Kay” Justin smiled as he took a piece of paper out of his backpack, thought about his address for a second before scribbling it down; he didn’t want Josh to have to look for a street that was in Tucson! He handed the piece to Josh.

“I’ll see you tonight”

“Yup” Josh nodded with a bright smile.

“I’ll be there” he added before Justin turned and walked away, still wearing that smile on his face.

***

“Hi” Justin greeted with a small smile as he opened the door that evening at 7.30 exactly. Justin looked him up and down; he once again looked sexy but Justin shook his head to get rid of the thoughts.

“Hey” Josh replied, looking Justin up and down in his turn.

“You’re right on time” Justin noted.

“Yup” Josh nodded, “That’s me”

“I like that” Justin said shyly. Josh’s smile grew.

“I’m glad”

Silence fell between them, both boys a little insecure; there was definitely something there, some sort of attraction.

“You ready to go?” Josh finally asked.

“Yeah” Justin nodded before calling to his mother over his shoulder, informing her that he was leaving. He waited for the response, bye have a good time before he stepped outside and closed the door behind him.

They walked downtown, it wasn’t far at least that was what Josh had said and Justin had taken him for his word. Justin was a stranger but Josh would know what he was talking about, being a local. He guided him downtown and showed him around, they walked beside each other as they looked around and talked a little. Justin liked it, he enjoyed himself and Josh was fun. He was kind, funny and so cute. Josh made him forget about the day he’d had, another first day at school and the fact that he probably wouldn’t have enough time to really get to know this interesting boy. It all didn’t matter and all the reluctance he’d felt before was gone now as they strolled the streets of Baltimore.

***

Justin dropped himself on his bed at 11, he’d just gotten home and he smiled as he thought about the night. It had been fun but as the last scene of the evening entered his mind he couldn’t help but sigh.

Josh had walked him home, seeing he didn’t know how he should get home. Josh had been happy to help and brought him home. He shook his head however as he thought of the scene on the porch.

“I had fun” Josh admitted.

“Me too” Justin said honestly; he really had enjoyed himself.

“We should do it again some time” Josh said suddenly insecure.

“Yeah” Justin said but not wholeheartedly, thinking about the agreement he’d made with himself.

Stay detached. That wouldn’t work if he agreed to meet Josh. He knew that if he agreed it wouldn’t stay with just one time. He felt something when he was around this guy and he was afraid that if he would meet him once, he wouldn’t want to leave him alone. He already liked Josh and he was afraid that that feeling would only grow when they’d hang out together more often. He was afraid he would get attached to him. He’d felt the hurt of having to separate from a friend too many times before and he just didn’t want to feel it anymore.

Therefore he kind of brushed off the invitation to do it again. He saw Josh’s slight disappointment but he would feel worse if they’d get close and they’d have to separate again. He was doing Josh a favor he thought as he smiled once more at Josh, thanking him for the evening before going inside, closing the door behind him.

He shook his head as he stood and stripped, pulled on his pj’s and stepped in bed. He curled on his side, closing his eyes sadly, knowing it was for the best to keep Josh at bay; it would hurt less.

Life On The Move >