Justin entered the house with a smile on his face.
He’d just been with Josh and he was happy, he really liked him. He hadn’t liked
anyone this much in such a short time. He was happy and grateful he’d decided
to make friends with him and even more. It was definitely worth the happiness.
He closed the door behind him and turned towards the living room, he spotted
his mother in the doorway right away. She looked sad and Justin stopped dead in
his tracks; he knew exactly what time it was. Time to move again.
“Mom,
no” he whispered, shaking his head, hoping against hope that it wasn’t true.
“I’m
sorry sweetie” she said just as softly, dashing her son’s hope.
“No!
It’s too soon! We haven’t even been here for four months mom” he said angrily.
“I
don’t want to move” he whispered, his whole face falling before he broke down
in tears, sobbing into his hands. He stumbled backwards, falling against the
wall as he slumped against it. Lynn quickly went to her son and tugged him in a
hug. She hated to do this to him, especially after she’d learned he’d found a
friend, a boyfriend even. It was the last thing she wanted to do to him but
Randy had responsibilities too.
“Please
mom,” Justin whispered as he cried on her shoulder.
“Can’t
we stay?” he pleaded desperately as he pulled back.
“Justin”
she said simply, understanding her son’s reaction but he knew it wasn’t a
possibility.
“I
don’t want to leave again, I like it here, I don’t want to leave Josh” he told
her, sniffling in between, his voice dropping in volume.
“I
know sweetie” she sympathized, cupping his cheek but it wasn’t good enough this
time. He suddenly pulled away from her, anger taking over.
“No
you don’t! I don’t want to leave and I’m not going!” he told her angrily before
storming away to his room. Lynn let him, she knew he was upset; she would check
on him later.
***
Justin
stomped upstairs, his fists clenched, his eyebrows furrowed as tears blinded
him. He found his room though and plumped down on his bed, face down. He buried
his face in his pillow and sobbed. It was so unfair. He knew it would happen
but he’d ignored it. He could no longer ignore it however because it was real,
the call had been received and Justin knew there was nothing he could do but
mourn for another lost friend, this time a boyfriend; because they would move
again.
***
“Justin?”
Lynn called softly as she knocked gently on her son’s door sometime later. Her
heart broke as she saw her son, crying into his pillow, his shoulders heaving
severely as the sobs wrecked his body.
“Oh
sweetie” she cooed softly as she walked over to her baby boy, sitting down on
the side of the bed, rubbing circles on his back, silently comforting him.
Justin shrugged his mother’s hand away, scooting away from her. Lynn retracted
her hand.
“Justin”
she warned in a sigh.
“Leave
me alone” he hiccupped but his voice was soft, not at all harsh.
“Sweetie”
she said softly, hearing by the tone in his voice that he really didn’t mean
it. He was just hurting, again.
“I
know it hurts baby, but you know your father has responsibilities. He can’t
help it either sweetie. I know it’s hard but it will be okay” she paused for a
second, he still didn’t respond and so she continued with a sigh.
“It’s
not fair to take it out on us baby, we understand but it’s not fair. It’s not
our fault anymore than it is yours” she talked to him softly.
Justin
still hid his face from her and continued to cry with his mother rubbing
circles on his back, trying to comfort him or at least calm him down. After ten
minutes he finally quieted and sat up a little, diving into his mother’s
embrace in one motion. He rested his head on her shoulder, sniffing now and
then.
“I’m
sorry” he whispered. Lynn nodded, stroking his hair.
“I
know baby, I know, it will be okay” she soothed.
Justin
nodded although he didn’t know how he would be okay without Josh.
“Where
are we going?” he whispered defeatedly. Lynn sighed a little.
“Jackson,
Mississippi”
Justin’s
heart sank when he realized how far that was from Baltimore, Maryland. He
couldn’t stop the fresh tears that welled in his eyes. He buried his face in
his mother’s neck and cried some more while Lynn continued to comfort him
although knowing that she really couldn’t.
***
The
hardest job he would ever have to do, well apart from actually saying goodbye
to Josh, would begin now; tell Josh that he was leaving. His eyes were still
red from crying as he stood in front of Josh’s door, later that day. He’d asked
his mother if he could go over to Josh to tell him right away and she already
felt sorry enough for him and had allowed him to go. They’d just hung out a few
hours prior but everything had been okay then, now Justin’s world was turned
upside down. As Josh opened the door he immediately noticed something was
wrong.
“Baby,
what’s the matter?” he asked concerned as he saw his boyfriend’s haggard
appearance. He gently pulled him inside and they settled on the couch. Justin
let his boyfriend guide him to the couch, dreading the moment that he would
have to tell him why he’d come over.
“What
happened?” Josh asked gently, grasping Justin’s hands in his.
“I...
um... I have to tell you something” Justin started slowly, looking down at
their entwined hands with a small smile. However it brought tears to his eyes
as well.
“What
is it?” Josh asked softly, hearing by the tone in Justin’s voice that it was
big and he was afraid to hear it.
“I
um...” he started, tears welled in his eyes and not long after they fell from
his eyes. He bit them back long enough so he could answer Josh.
“I’m
moving” he said softly, as soon as the words were out the tears he’d tried to
hold back waterfalled down his cheeks and he ducked his head.
Josh
swallowed hard. He blinked several times to push back the tears as he watched
how his boyfriend started to cry.
“No”
he whispered in denial. Justin looked up with shimmering eyes. He nodded as
more tears fell.
“Yes,
I’m so sorry”
“Oh
baby” Josh cooed, taking his boyfriend in his arms.
“I
don’t want to go Josh, I want to stay with you” he told him honestly,
vulnerably before they pulled back. Josh had tears in his eyes and Justin felt
bad for making Josh sad. He’d wanted to avoid it by avoiding him.
“I
didn’t want to make you sad, that’s why I didn’t want to get to know you. I
knew this would happen” Justin said apologetically, swallowing hard; he however
still wasn’t successful in keeping the tears at bay.
“I
know but you would have made me even sadder if you’d pushed me away” Josh
revealed, he wasn’t really successful in pushing back the tears either. Justin
smiled shyly, through his tears.
“I
really like you Josh” Justin said honestly, slowly leaning in to kiss him;
showing him just how much he liked him in the salty but sweet kiss. Josh
accepted, showing in his turn how much he cared about Justin. When they pulled
back Justin lowered himself in Josh’s arms, crying together as they tried to
enjoy the little time they’d have left.
