“Randy have you seen Justin?” Lynn asked her
husband, a little worried.
“He’s
in his room I believe” Randy answered his wife.
“I’m
worried about him, Randy” Lynn voiced her thoughts.
“Why?”
Randy asked. He’d spent a lot of time at the base. It was always the same in
the first few weeks. He hadn’t seen much of his family as they once again
unpacked everything. Now, almost two weeks after moving here they were pretty
much settled in.
“He’s
been so quiet” she informed him of last week’s events.
“He’s
always quiet at first” Randy said, Lynn had often told him how quiet Justin was
the first weeks in a new place. It would pass eventually and he didn’t know why
it worried her this time.
“I
know but it’s different. He seems almost depressed” Lynn told him. Randy eyed
his wife, not knowing what to say to this.
“He’s
written dozens of letters to Josh already and he sits in his room all day”
“He
barely unpacked his stuff and when I check on him, he’s always laying on his
bed, staring off or sitting in his window staring into space, I don’t know what
to think” Lynn added as she saw her husband silent message to go on.
“He’ll
be okay” Randy reassured her, not knowing what else to say. Lynn wondered if
that was true, she doubted it.
“I
hope so”
***
Almost
800 miles away Josh sauntered through the hallways, heading for his locker so
he could go home again. He missed Justin. A lot. He’d enjoyed going to school
the past few months because of the ability to see Justin every minute of every
hour since they had the same classes but now no class was fun anymore. He’d
enjoyed hanging out at home even more. He’d already gotten a few letters from
Justin, telling him how much he missed him and how much he wanted to be there.
Josh definitely felt the same, he’d gotten a letter before he left for school
and he was planning on writing back as soon as he got home. He just wished
Justin was here.
***
“Justin,
a letter came for you!” Lynn called upstairs as she looked through the mail.
She heard a door open and feet descended the stairs quickly. Justin already
knew who it was from and accepted the letter with a smile. It was the only time
he smiled, although Lynn still saw the sad look in his eyes. He took it with
him upstairs without another word and Lynn watched her son go with a worried
frown.
“Sweetie?”
she called as she gently knocked on the door sometime later. He didn’t respond
and she took it as a sign to come in. He would have certainly said to stay out
if he didn’t want her to come in. She slowly opened the door and her heart
tightened when she saw her son. He was sitting in the window seat, the letter
clutched in his hand, his knees pulled up to his chest, the envelope at his
feet and his tears were evident.
“Oh
baby” she sympathized, setting down the cup of tea she’d brought with her on
the nightstand. She hated seeing him like this but this was pretty much how she
found him every time she came into his room. She sat down beside him, wrapping
an arm around his knees and gently stroking his cheek as she looked at her son.
She just waited, waited what he’d do. Finally he turned his head towards her,
as if he’d just noticed her in the room, he looked at her with tear filled
eyes.
“I
miss him mom” Justin whispered softly before he moved towards her, lowering
himself in her arms, feeling safe in the hug but the hurt was the same.
“I
miss him so much” he added in a voice so full of emotion before he softly
started crying on her shoulder. Lynn couldn’t stop her eyes from watering, his
tone cutting right through her. And just like when she’d told him they were
moving again all she could do was hold him and try to comfort him a little but
she knew once again that it was no use.
***
“Randy
I’m really worried” she told him once again, that night. She’d already been
worried but after today it had multiplied. She knew it was hard on him to move
all the time and you couldn’t exactly expect Justin to accept the moves with a
smile but the way he reacted this time; she’d never seen him like this before.
He’d never reacted this bad and she was worried.
“It’ll
pass” Randy said, once again not knowing how to respond to this statement of
his wife.
“I
don’t think it will, he’s really down” Lynn told her husband before informing
him of what had happened while he’d been to work. Randy listened silently,
feeling extremely bad. Worry also filled his heart. He nodded.
“What
do you want to do then?” he asked, ready to discuss this. However Lynn didn’t
know what they could do and she sighed.
“I
don’t know”....
***
Dear
Josh,
How
are you doing? I hope you’re feeling better than I am. I miss you much. I can’t
believe you’re so far away from me and that I can’t just come over to watch a
movie like we always did.
I
finally unpacked a bit of my stuff. It’s a nice room, nice house too but you
know it doesn’t really matter because we won’t stay long. Even then I’d rather
live in a tent in Baltimore than in a villa here. I really miss you so much. I
wish we could just sit on the couch and to have your arms around me, taste your
lips and feel your hands on me. I knew it would hurt to have to leave you but I
never realized it would hurt this much. It’s almost unbearable and the only
thing that keeps me going is the prospect of reading your next letter.
School
is pretty boring, they have the worst accent here, I guess I’m just not used to
it. We have a swimming pool in the backyard but I don’t feel like swimming, not
alone anyway. I wish so much to be with you. I wish my father had a steady job.
I wish I were eighteen so I could stay while my parents move around. I wish...
I wish I didn’t have to move.
I
know it’s no use thinking this way because it won’t bring me closer to you but
I can’t help it. Maybe the next city that needs my father will be close to
Maryland. I hope so. I want to see you again so badly, I think about you every
day, waiting for your next letter,
I
miss you and I love you,
Lots
of kisses, Justin
With
tears running down his face he folded the letter so it would fit in the
envelope that was laying next to him. He wiped at his tears and his already
running nose as he put the letter in the envelope, licking it closed, adding
the stamp and scribbling down the address, already knowing it at heart. He
turned it back around and looked at it for several moments, the tears running
again. He didn’t know how he would ever get over it.
***
Justin
smiled a little, it was only a little and it would only appear at one time;
when he’d gotten a letter from Josh. It was only three days after he’d send
Josh his letter but it went like this every time. As soon as he got a letter he
send one back to Josh and Josh did the same. He settled himself in his window
seat and tore the envelope open, eager to read how Josh was doing, wondering if
he felt any better. He doubted it.
My
sweet Justin,
I
know exactly what you mean baby and no I’m not okay either. I wish you didn’t
have to move either, I miss you too, so much. I miss holding you, I miss
kissing you and I miss seeing your smile. Your letters keep me going, I love
hearing from you and I’m so glad everytime I see a new letter from you. I just
can’t wait to read it.
You’ll
get used to the accent, I’m sure, lol. And a swimming pool? That sounds nice, a
benefit from living in Mississippi, a swimming pool in Baltimore won’t do you
much good. I know you’d rather be here and I wish you were here too but I hope
you’re enjoying yourself a little. Because it’s one thing knowing that you’re
so far away but knowing that you’re so miserable breaks my heart, so please try
to enjoy yourself, even if it’s just a little, for me?
Life
here is pretty much the same, classes are so boring without you and the
teachers don’t help much, maybe you should be glad to have gotten out of here,
Mr. Henderson just gave us the worst assignment ever, he wants us to
investigate how a company works, like with accounts and everything. You know
how much I hate economics and I really don’t feel like doing it but I’m afraid
I’ll have to, it would have been easier with you here, more fun too :) But
we’ll visit soon, I promise. And maybe your father will be needed in this area
soon, I really hope so. I can’t wait to see you again.
I
love you too and I miss you, take care and try have a little fun ok?
Your
Josh
Tears
were streaming down his face, by the time he finished reading the letter. He
rested his head against the cool glass, closing his eyes tightly but tears
escaped nevertheless and he held onto the letter for life. He opened his eyes a
little, letting the tears fall. His eyes closed once again as he whispered his
love’s name as he pictured him standing in front of him with his gorgeous smile
and sexy body.
“Josh”
