The Real Me

By:  Chantal

 

“Hey guys!” Justin walked in cheerful.

 

“Hey” they mumbled in return not quite as happy as their younger friend seemed to be.

 

“What’s wrong?” Justin asked a little concerned, stopping dead in his tracks as he saw his four friends all staring at him.

 

“You’ve changed” Chris simply said, they were all thinking it they just didn’t have the guts to tell him. But Chris did and he spoke on behalf of Josh, Lance and Joey.

 

“What do you mean?” Justin asked still confused as he slowly walked towards the small crowd opposite of him.

 

“You’ve changed” Chris repeated.

 

“No I haven’t!” Justin laughed but the laugh died in his throat as he noticed his four friends weren’t laughing with him.

 

“You guys…” Justin whined a little.

 

“I’m still the same, I haven’t changed”

 

“Justin you have changed. Ever since you hooked up with Pharrel it’s like you’re a different person” Chris told him straight up.

 

“No I’m not” Justin argued, he hadn’t changed… had he?

 

“Justin you answer the phone with yo!” Josh told him pointedly. Justin stared at his long time best friend.

 

“He just… he has a bad influence on you” Josh continued.

 

“What are you my mother? Are you going to forbid me to hang out with him?” Justin countered angrily. This was not the afternoon he’d had in mind. He came over to have a good time with his friends but…

 

“Of course not! All I’m …. we’re saying is that he changed you… and not in a good way” Josh said calmly, he didn’t want to anger Justin, none of them did they just wanted to make him see what they saw.

 

“Where do you come off giving me shit about this? I expect this from the media not from you guys! You’re supposed to be my friends!” Justin said angrily and a little disappointed.

 

“We are your friends. That’s why we tell you this. We want to warn you; you’re going the wrong way” Lance said as he looked at Justin, determined but sweetly.

 

“I… I don’t understand” Justin told his friend, shaking his head slightly in confusion.

 

“You’re using words like booty and popping the cherry? You never used to say stuff like that” Lance told Justin calmly, just a few examples of how his friend had changed.

 

“Maybe I grew up?” Justin asked him sarcastically, they always saw him as that fourteen year old they needed to protect but he wasn’t fourteen anymore. He was twenty two now, a grown man. He was allowed to say stuff like that now, they didn’t have the right to scold at him anymore.

 

“Maybe you got yourself a Pharrel dictionary?” Josh countered, they all knew where the change had come from; Pharrel. When they all went their separate ways for a while Justin went out to work with Pharrel and they all thought if that’s what he wants he should do it. Pharrel was ok, he was very talented in music and he seemed ok. But when they got back together they all noticed the change in their youngest friend’s behavior; Justin was acting cockier, more like a womanizer, the superstar they all knew he was but Justin never wanted to hear about. He was just not acting like himself and they all had a fair idea where the specific influence had come from.

 

“It’s not you Justin. We know you Justin, in and out and this is not you. Please stop pretending” Josh talked into him, looking at him in earnest. Justin didn’t know what to say, he just stared back.

 

“You’re still the baby of the group you know” Josh added with a sweet smile when Justin didn’t respond, somehow thinking that that was what Justin wanted to hear. Justin’s lips tugged into a smile at the comment that caused the memories to roll by because how many times hadn’t Justin found comfort in that smile? Had he laughed with him?

 

“We just miss that sweet baby with the smooth skin; demanding from us that we did see the facial hair probably only you could see and the curls we could always tease you with when we didn’t really have any other good comeback” Josh remembered pleasantly. Justin smiled at the memories and when he looked around the circle and saw his friends standing there with happy smiles from the memories mixed with the sad expression from his change his protective walls crumbled.

 

“But I gotta be tough” he told them a little defeated, plumping down on the nearest couch, his shoulders slumping as he did so.

 

“Why? For who?” Josh inquired concerned as he sat next to his friend on the couch, putting his hand over Justin’s arm for comfort.

 

“Pharrel, the media, the fans… they’ll eat me alive if I’m the way you just described” Justin told his friends pitiful, a little whine in his voice. They watched their youngest friend with a small smile on their faces; he was still the baby of the group. No matter how mature Justin wanted to appear he was still far from grown up, still a boy, the baby and for some he would always be a boy, to his friends he would always be young innocent Justin, the baby that needed to be protected and they were up for the job, always had been and always would be.

 

“But you’re still untouched after years in the public eye” Joey told Justin softly, as he sat on the other side putting an arm around his shoulder.

 

“But then I had you guys protecting me”

 

“You still do baby boy, you still do” Josh assured the young boy as he hugged Justin tight, the rest soon following in the group hug.

 

It was funny how Justin always wanted to appear tough in front of everyone but he never seemed to shake that sweet baby boy’s angelic face image. His facial hair and his shaven had an attempt to appear tough; no messing around with this boy but his real friends saw right through it and they helped him see who he really was. He wasn’t the tough guy, he didn’t belong in the ghetto, he was not a gangster, the beard, shaven head and earrings making him look like one and he had to admit; he hated the accent, those words he used and it did sound stupid. It wasn’t him, it was all an act; someone he thought he needed to be in order to protect himself but he was wrong. He didn’t need to act or look that way to be protected, to be tough. His real friends loved him the way he was, he didn’t need to be tough to protect himself when he was around them. He could be himself and he allowed them to protect him without shame, he could show them vulnerability without consequences. He was vulnerable as a solo artist. He felt vulnerable without his four friends watching over him like they’d always done, so he tried the tough act in order to protect himself. But as 1/5 of Nsync he could show the true Justin Timberlake, there was no need to pretend.

 

He was Justin Timberlake, the guy who was always standing in the spotlight, the boy everyone wanted to know. The boy with the golden curls, the smooth skin, the angelic features, who was friendly to everyone although they were not always nice to him, well mannered, an all round nice guy and that was ok. It was the way his friends saw him and loved him because that, that was the real Justin Timberlake.

 

The End

 

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