“Let’s celebrate you living here” Louisa suggested
happily, wrapping her arms around her boyfriend. Josh cringed; he couldn’t help
it. What was there to celebrate?
“Why?”
Josh asked before he could stop himself. He was immediately met with Louisa’s
frown, accompanied with a hard glare.
“I
mean, how?” Louisa’s smile returned. She leaned in slowly, covering the small
space between them in a slow pace. Her lips touched his softly, caressing his
lips like they never did; not recently anyway.
“You’re
so sweet” she whispered against his lips.
“You
taste so sweet” she added before leaning in again, kissing him in an almost
lovingly way. Josh went along with it, he held her around the waist and kissed
her back, mostly anyway. When she was like this he reminded him of the girl
he’d met months prior but she would say or do something and the image was
broken. He would remember her true nature and the struggle to force himself to
do what she wanted began all over again.
“Let’s
have a romantic night in our room” she proposed, kissing his neck.
“Have
a candle lit diner, watch a romantic movie” she continued, kissing his throat
and going up.
“Make
love” she finished, a plan to initiate her bedroom as theirs as she kissed him
on the lips.
Josh’s
eyes widened as Louisa continued kissing his lips, slipping her tongue inside.
He no longer participated, he was processing this new demand. Sure he could not
refuse, he didn’t have a right to but he wondered how far the demands could go.
Probably as far as she wanted, he didn’t get anything more; only the safety of
his brother. But he wouldn’t go against her now; they’d beat him up. They’d
honestly hurt him and Josh didn’t dare to disobey.
“Let’s
go upstairs” she whispered against his lips before taking his hand gently,
positioning herself against his side.
Josh
didn’t react he was still processing the news. His steps faltered but Louisa
ignored it and tugged on his hand. They soon reached the top floor. Josh had no
idea how they ever got here and all he wanted was to leave. Louisa opened the
door and tugged Josh in behind her.
“You’re
all mine tonight”
***
Josh
woke up early the next morning, looking around the room; his room, their room.
He couldn’t believe he’d done this.
Wasn’t
this rape or something?
Or
couldn’t a woman rape a man?
Josh
wasn’t sure; he knew it was against his will, he knew she’d forced him into it
so it had to be some kind of rape. Or was it a deal, it was apart of the deal;
please Louisa and Justin would stay unharmed.
Was
he a whore then?
No
he didn’t get anything in return except the safety of his brother. Whores got
money. He didn’t know what to make of it and it really didn’t matter either. It
didn’t help. He felt like shit.
They’d
only slept together a few times, in the first period of their relationship when
they were in love and a few times in between either to get Louisa off of his
back or to prove to himself that he still loved her.
He
looked down at the woman in his arms or who’d snuggled in his arms. He checked
if she was really still fast asleep, seeing she was he took the opportunity.
Josh slipped out from underneath the blankets, settling his forced girlfriend
on the bed, hoping she wouldn’t wake up. He needed to get away, he felt filthy,
he needed to take a shower. Louisa would find him anyway so why bother waking
her up? He would risk her not wanting him to go so he slipped into the bathroom
and quickly stepped in the shower, hoping he would be able to finish the shower
without Louisa bothering him.
***
“This
is nice” Louisa commented as they got dressed together.
Josh
had quickly taken his shower to make the chance that Louisa would join him as
limited as possible. She woke up when he’d walked back into the bedroom and had
smiled happily at him; probably happy she’d gotten her way. They’d snuggled in
bed for a while, of course on her request before deciding to get dressed.
“I
love waking up with you” Louisa smiled. Josh forced a smile on his face. It was
sweet she enjoyed this but knowing Louisa she only loved the fact that she’d
gotten him this far.
“I
love getting up together, you belong here Josh” Louisa said meaningful. Josh
stopped tying his shoe, eyeing her. It might sound simple but the statement
meant so much more. More than he wanted it to mean. He looked like a sad puppy
but Louisa ignored it.
“What
makes you say that?” Josh asked softly.
“You
just do, you belong with me” Josh’s miserable expression grew.
“Louisa”
he said softly.
“What
are you planning with this?” he dared to ask. Sure it would be fun for her for
a while but it would have to end sometime. Right? Even though she didn’t see it
now, there would come a time she would realize this was too weird and she would
let him go. This wouldn’t be able to go on forever.
“With
what?” she asked a little confused.
“Holding
me here” Josh whispered, his shoe still untied. He had other fish to fry.
“I
don’t know. You don’t know what the future holds. For now I love you and I want
you here, with me. We’ll see what will happen in the future” she answered,
avoiding how he’d said she was holding him here. She was but she was obviously
not in a bad mood because normally she would have bitten his head off; not now
though. The answer however wasn’t better, he almost wished she would have
bitten his head off because she didn’t clear anything up. Maybe he could have
lived with this if she would have given him a time frame. He wouldn’t enjoy it
but at least he would know it would end someday. With an open window like this
it was unsure when this would end, if it would ever end.
“Is
this really how you want this?” he asked softly but incredulously.
How
you could want love like this?
“Yes,
I love you Josh. We could have a wonderful time together if you’d just give it
a chance”
“I
tried but it didn’t work out. It wasn’t meant to be”
“We
can make it meant to be” Louisa argued.
“No
we can’t. Why can’t you just accept it?” he asked softly, yelling or accusing
her wouldn’t help him anyway.
“I
want to make this work, we can make it work” she started firmly.
“We
will make it work”
***
Louisa
wanted to make it work and with the threat against Justin, Josh was not going
to argue with her. Not anytime soon anyway.
Everything
was settling now. Josh had packed his clothes and other personal items and had
taken them to his new home. Justin had moved into his apartment and Josh was
ready for work again. He’d spend the week packing and unpacking, then spend the
rest of the time with Louisa. He could use some distraction.
He
also wanted to check on his brother, see how he was doing since he hadn’t had
time to call. He decided to drop by after work, forgetting the fact that he was
no longer alone, people were waiting for him now and dangerous people that was.
***
Josh
still having the key let himself in, he chuckled as he saw his younger brother
sprawled out on the couch, feet propped up on the coffee table, remote in hand.
“I
see you settled in quite well”
Justin
jumped at the voice as he’d been on the verge of sleep. Honestly he was still
afraid; he pretended it was nothing to get beat up but he’d been seriously
frightened.
“Sorry
I didn’t mean to scare you” Josh apologized, seeing his brother’s alarmed
reaction.
Justin
sat up a little. “It’s okay”
Josh
smiled and plumped down on the couch next to Justin.
“You
settled in?”
“Almost,
thanks for letting me live here” Justin thanked him a little later. Josh
smiled.
“You’re
welcome although I should say thank you too”
“Why?”
“I
didn’t know what to do with this place. I mean I didn’t want to get rid of it
but paying rent when you don’t live here would be a shame” Justin smiled
understandingly although Josh saw something else.
“What’s
wrong, Justy?” Justin shrugged, brushing it off.
“What?”
Josh persisted.
Justin
sighed, giving in.
“I
still don’t understand why you moved in with her”
It
was Josh’s turn to sigh.
“I
already explained this to you”
“I
know but it’s weird”
“Not
it’s not, people move in together all the time”
“You
know what forget it, forget I asked!” Justin stood suddenly, the patronizing
answer making him angry.
“Justin,”
Josh called. Justin stopped but didn’t turn around. “We’re just trying this
out, see if it works”
“Is
it?”
“I
don’t know… yet”
They
were both silent. After a few minutes Josh got up.
“I
should go…” he still couldn’t say go home. He was home.
Justin
nodded slowly. “Kay”
“Hey
you free on Wednesday?” Josh asked suddenly, he hadn’t seen his brother that
much lately, at least not the way they used to. Louisa took up a lot of his
time and a fun night with his brother was just what he needed.
“Um…
I guess, why?”
“What
do you say I come over, we watch a movie, eat a little pizza, have a few beers,
just hang out”
Justin
beamed. “Cool” He always enjoyed hanging out with his big brother. He still
felt cool and important when Josh wanted to hang out with him. Josh smiled back
happily.
“Alright,
see ya then, bye”
“
Bye!” Justin closed the door behind him, locking it.
***
As
soon as Josh stepped onto the doormat, the door flew open and he was pulled in
roughly. The door closed and before he knew it he was pinned up against it.
“Where
were you?” Dan in his face again. Dan in his face with a similar question.
“I…
I was with Justin” A similar answer to a similar question.
“Why?”
“I…
I just wanted to see how he was doing” Josh answered, knowing better than to
answer the question with a question.
“We
were waiting for you with diner”
“Oh.
I’m sorry” he said genuinely. It was rude to keep people waiting, although he
hadn’t known they’d been waiting, it was rude nevertheless.
“You
finish work at 6, you come home at 6.30, we eat at 6.30. It’s almost 7.30!” Dan
said as if it was a major issue. Actually to him it was; a sign of
disobedience.
“Alright”
Josh exclaimed, wrong move. Dan grasped his chin painfully.
“You
will call and you will tell us if and when you’re gone. More importantly you
tell us when you’ll be back, understood?”
“Yes”
Josh answered. He hadn’t known he was expected to call when he would be home.
He wasn’t used to this living together yet and it slipped his mind; he’d been
living on his own for over four years and these particular rules that were
attached to living together were unexpected and definitely unwanted. They made
him want to move out of there quicker than lightning.
“Good.
Then…” he said stepping back.
“Louisa
is waiting for you”
Josh
nodded then shuffled past him. When he reached the staircase he suddenly
turned, a question on his lips, certain he would have to ask this too.
“Um
Dan?”
“Yes”
Dan acknowledged as he spun towards the young man.
“I
was wondering if I could um spend some time with my brother” he asked
questionably.
“When?”
Dan asked simply, inwardly smirking he’d gotten him this far.
“Wednesday?”
Josh asked once again in an uncertain tone of voice.
“Time?”
“After
work, till I don’t know past midnight?”
“You’re
learning Josh, good” Dan smirked satisfied.
“Then
can I go?” he felt like a teenager; begging his mother let him go out.
Dan
shrugged. “Fine with me, run it past Louisa though, you’re her boyfriend”
Josh
nodded.
“Okay,
thank you” he said sincerely. Dan nodded still smiling broadly. Josh turned
back towards the staircase and climbed the steps slowly, with reluctance as
always.
***
“Louisa?”
Josh asked cautiously as he pulled back from the kiss. Louisa had put herself
in between the wall and her boyfriend, kissing him for minutes on end, enjoying
his sweet lips on hers as she was pinned against the wall by her lover.
“What
baby?” she asked sweetly, keeping her hands in place, cupping his cheeks.
“I...
well I was wondering if you had plans on Wednesday since I would like to go to
my brother then”
“I
don’t think so” she stated.
“What
do you mean?” he asked confused, was she referring to the fact that she had no
plans or that he couldn’t go?
“I
didn’t have any plans with you Wednesday” she smiled as she leaned in again.
Josh kissed her back, not wanting her to change her mind.
“So…
you don’t mind if I go to Justin then?” he asked once she pulled back and
stroked his cheek lovingly.
She
shook her head no, her eyes focused on her hand caressing his face. Louisa was
aware of the fact that she would have to allow him these things once in a while
or he’d probably refuse to corporate at all or less easily. She really didn’t
want him to be unhappy, she just wanted him.
“We’ll
spend the weekend together then?” she asked suggestively but it was already a
done deal; it would happen.
“Okay” Josh said, succeeding in keeping the sigh out of his voice. He knew he would have to spend the weekend with her no matter what, even when he wouldn’t get to see Justin, so seeing Justin was an added bonus. He smiled weekly as she continued her make out desire.
