Chapter 18
A
few days later, Josh woke up to a soft but determined knock on his door. He
stumbled out of bed, thinking it would Justin he opened the door with a bright
smile on his face. His face fell when instead of Justin, it was Justin’s
father. The blanket that he’d wrapped around himself hung open and Howard
looked the boy up and down in disgust.
“You
open the door like that?” Josh cringed and quickly wrapped the blanket tightly
around himself.
“What…
what do you want?” Josh asked nervously, knowing this certainly couldn’t be a
good thing.
“I
need to talk to you” Howard stated before he raised his eyebrows expectantly,
Josh’s furrowed in confusion, what did this man want? He wondered a little
fearful.
“You’re
going to let me come in or do I have to tell you this out here on the hallway?”
Howard asked with a certain amount of cockiness, knowing full well Josh was a
little afraid of him and he should be. Josh shivered, intimidated by the power
this man had, not only in general but also over him. He slowly stepped aside to
let the man in, reluctant but whatever he wanted to say it couldn’t be good and
he certainly didn’t want to talk about it in the open. Howard stepped inside
with the same amount of confidence, placing his hands behind his back as he
inspected the tiny space Josh called his home.
“Have a seat” Josh
offered before he walked towards the chair by the bed. He turned his back on
the man as he dropped the blanket and quickly pulled on his jeans and T-shirt.
When he joined the man at the table he felt him looking down on him. Mr.
Timberlake wore a very expensive suit from one of the top designers of New
York, custom made while Josh was clothed in a simple pair of jeans and a fading
T-shirt. Josh cringed at the scrutinizing gaze, praying the man would just tell
him what he had to say instead of making him feel like scum.
Howard
smiled inwardly as he saw Josh squirming in his seat, not meeting his eyes,
apparently very uncomfortable to be sitting in front of him, probably even
being in the same room as him. Howard leaned forward, further intimidating Josh
with his actions as he stared straight at him. Josh felt the gaze on him and
met the man’s eyes, when Howard was satisfied he started,
“Perhaps
I didn’t make myself clear when I said you should stay away from my son. I
thought I’d made it perfectly clear I wanted you away from him” Howard told
Josh, letting him know why he was here. Josh knew it couldn’t be good when he
met Justin’s father at the door instead of Justin but this hadn’t crossed his
mind. He didn’t know what possessed him as he confidently but softly said,
“Mr.
Timberlake, I love your son”
Howard’s
mouth dropped wide open and it took a couple of moments for him to compose
himself.
“You’ll
stay away from him” he snapped, then all of a sudden he seemed to sober up as
if suddenly thought of something better than aimless threats.
“How
old are you Josh?” he asked him knowingly. Josh was taken aback by the
question, out of all the things he was preparing himself for he’d say this was
not on his list.
“Twenty,
why?” he answered with a question.
“Do
you know how old my son is?” Howard asked almost calmly.
“Yes,
he’s fifteen but…” Josh answered, the question ‘what that got anything to with
it’ cut off by Howard’s scoffing question,
“You
do know he’s underage?”
Josh
barely prevented his mouth from dropping wide open; that was where he was going
with the question. Justin was underage and Josh was an adult and they were
sleeping together, something that Howard could use to his own advantage and he
knew it.
“You’re
twenty, he’s fifteen. That’s illegal my boy” Howard told him knowingly, sitting
back confidently.
“B..But…”
Josh started but Howard wouldn’t let Josh get him off track.
“What
would your mother say if she heard you prefer men instead of women?” Howard
added, stepping it up, knowing he had to do better than aimless threats. Since
last time it hadn’t prevented them from still seeing each other, he wasn’t
going to let this boy embarrass him like that again.
“She
doesn’t mind, she loves me the way I am which you should do with Justin” Josh
countered angrily. Howard’s eyes narrowed.
“Oh
yeah? Do you think she’d still love you if she heard you seduce underage boys?”
he asked rhetorically, avoiding the boy’s confronting enunciation about his
relationship with his son.
“Do
you think someone will want to hire you? I’ll personally make sure you’ll get
fired and will never get hired anywhere else” he continued, he was far from
finished.
“You
could never do that in NY, it’s a big city” Josh challenged.
“Yes
indeed but news travels fast especially bad news. Don’t underestimate me Josh”
Josh
knew he shouldn’t underestimate him, the confident gleam in this man’s eyes
told him not to.
“Besides
how are you going to support your mother when you don’t have a job? I heard the
nursing home you put your mother is quite expansive”
Josh’s
eyes narrowed.
“Don’t
you dare threaten me with my mother!” he warned him, pointing his finger at
him. But Howard ignored him, he had Josh where he wanted and it was time for
the final round. He calmly put his hands on the table in front of him, making
sure he had eye contact before finishing it off.
“I’ll
give you one more chance to leave him alone Josh. But if I see you two together
one more time you know what will happen and you wished you’d never met me or my
son” Howard said, his voice getting firmer as he processed. Howard stood up
with cockiness, this would be the end of his son acting gay he thought. Josh
shot up, desperately clinging to the man who would take away Justin from him
again, tear them apart for the second time.
“Please,
don’t do this to him…” he pleaded with him with big childish eyes.
“To
me” he added as he thought how his life would be without Justin.
“I
will not have my son dating you, my son is not gay!” he spat at him, pulling
his arm away from Josh like it was his fault Justin was gay.
“You
think it will help if you forbid him to see me? That he will be normal?” Josh
asked, twisting the word normal, what was normal anyway? Falling for men was
definitely not normal according to him and Josh saw the hatred in his eyes, the
disgust.
“Leave
him alone or you’ll be sorry” he said harshly, turning to leave before he
suddenly remembered something. He grabbed a pen and a small notepad lying on
the counter.
“Here”
Howard said throwing the two items on the kitchen table where Josh had taken
his seat again, plumped down defeated.
“What
am I supposed to do with this?” Josh asked wearily and confused, fingering the pen.
“You
will write your goodbye letter to Justin now,” Howard informed him, this
problem would be solved for good if Josh just broke up with his son.
Josh’s
eyes widened, he couldn’t be serious… but he was.
“Tell
him you want to break up or something, I don’t care just make sure he
understands this is goodbye for your relationship” Howard instructed, pushing
the notepad a little closer to where Josh was sitting while he went to stand
over him. Josh stared up at him, astonished.
“I
have to write it now?”
Howard
simply nodded in response.
“I
can’t do it that fast” Josh argued, wanting to post pone this, actually wanting
to let this disappear as if it weren’t happening. Howard wasn’t impressed, he
simply stared at the boy but Josh was too shocked to be able to form correct
sentences, to make Justin believe them. It all hadn’t sunk in and actually Josh
didn’t want it to.
“Can
I at least get a little time for this?” he asked, his eyes pleading with the
small part of this man’s humanity.
“Fine,”
Howard finally agreed reluctantly.
“You
got two days. Send it to me when it’s done, and you better not pretend you
forgot it or you’ll know what will happen; starting with a call to your boss
and then the police and then…”
“Yes,
I get it” Josh interrupted, not needing him to repeat all the things that would
happen when he didn’t corporate.
“Good,
I’ll make sure my son will get it”
“I’m
sure you will” Josh mumbled.
“What
did you say street boy?” Howard spat at him, daring him to repeat what he’d said.
Josh gritted his teeth it probably wasn’t smart to upset this man.
“Nothing”
he mumbled.
“Good”
Howard said satisfied.
“Make
sure I’ll have the letter two days from now or I’ll give you a taste of what
will happen if you don’t follow my orders”
“Yes
sir” Josh whispered, shifting his gaze away from the man.
“Oh
and Josh?” Howard called over his shoulder.
Josh
looked up.
“Think
hard about what you’re going to write, I’ll be reading it before I give it to
my son but I think you already knew that” he said with a victorious smile. Josh
dropped his gaze once again, he heard footsteps shuffle away before the door
closed softly leaving Josh all alone in his little apartment with the hardest
thing he ever had to do.
***
Josh
was sitting at the small kitchen table with a notepad and a pen. He was staring
at the words on the sheet; Dear Justin, was all it said for now. Wondering how
he could possibly tell Justin they should break up through a letter.
How
could he write down the lies why it supposedly wouldn’t work anymore?
How
could he do that without his heart protesting all the way, feeling it tear
apart with every letter, every lie he put down on the paper in front of him.
But
refusing wasn’t an option…
He
loved Justin so much but if his father followed through on his threat, not
seeing Justin would be the least of his worries. He would loose his job, both
of them and he’d never get another job. If he was lucky he’d end up living on
the street… if he wasn’t he would go to jail for having sex with an underage
boy. The worst part was not what would await him but his mother; she’d end up
on the street as well. Without the money he provided for her every month she’d
no longer be welcome at the nursery home and she wouldn’t survive long on the
streets without professional care and medication.
And
then there was Justin, he worried about him, Justin was still so young, too
young to have to deal with this. Since his father’s threats would effect him
to. If Howard would really call the police and have him arrested for sex with a
minor this city would be a living hell for Justin. Kids were cruel especially
in high school and if word got out that he got used by an older man, like his
dad was going for, he’d have a very hard life here. He wondered if that asshole
that called himself a loving father ever thought of that.
He couldn’t think
about that, he had no other choice; knowing what he had to do, he slowly picked
up the pen in front of him and started writing the letter that would break
Justin’s heart, not to mention his as well.
