Chapter 4
Patricia
Timberlake slammed the door shut.
She
threw her purse on the chair in the hallway and angrily plumped down on the
couch in the living room.
“Justin
is that you?!” Howard scolded.
“No,
it’s me” his wife’s voice answered.
“Darling,
why are you slamming doors?”
“I
saw Justin at the mall” she stated as if that made it clear.
“Isn’t
that a good thing?”
“No!”
she bit back.
“Why
not?”
“I
saw him with his friend” she said, the word friend coming out in a scoffing
way.
“Who?”
“That
boy Josh! They’re not just friends, they’re more. It’s true Howard, I saw them”
“Are
you sure?”
“Yes,
I know what friends look like and I know what something more looks like. This
was definitely something more; they were holding hands and touching and…”
“Ok,
ok, I get the point” Howard said annoyed, he didn’t need a mental image for
God’s sake.
“So
what do we do?” Patricia asked unsure, knowing her husband would know what to
do. He always knew what to do.
“I
think I’ll have a little talk with that young man” Howard said, his eyes
clouding, darkening. She knew he would take care of it, make their son normal
again.
***
“Justin
you’re grounded, go to your room” Howard informed his son as he stepped inside
the house.
Justin
was baffled.
“What?”
he asked confused, he had barely set foot in the hallway as he was attacked by
a furious father.
“Don’t
argue with me. Go to your room, now” his father repeated.
Justin’s
shoulders slumped and he shuffled up the stairs towards his room, softly
closing the door behind him wondering what he’d done. He usually got a lecture
and questions thrown at his head but his father hadn’t done either of those
too. He also hadn’t said for how long he was grounded, he just hoped his dad
would come and lecture him, tell him what he’d done that was so wrong which
made him ground him interminable.
***
Justin
stayed in his room all night, without knowing why. When morning came he
shuffled into the bathroom before he carefully opened his bedroom door, peeking
around the corner. His parents hadn’t given permission to come out of his room
yet and he was fearful for his father’s reaction because he’d already been so
pissed at him. He most certainly didn’t want to provoke him because he had a
date with Josh that started in…. 4 hours, he thought glancing at the clock as
it read 8am. He shuffled back into his room, plopping down on the bed with a
weary sigh. He picked up his phone but there was no dial tone. They must have
shut it off, he thought as he placed the phone back in its cradle. He couldn’t
let Josh know what was going on and he’d be worried, he decided to wait another
hour, two at the most, his parents would be up by then, he hoped.
***
An
hour later and still nothing, he’d been staring up at the ceiling thinking about
what he could have done since somewhere during the night his stereo, TV and all
the other things that could keep him busy disappeared out of his room. That
left him with one option; thinking about what he had done or maybe hadn’t done.
Justin wasn’t sure, he was sure he would find out soon.
***
Another
hour later and Justin had enough, he jumped off his bed and when he still
didn’t hear anything he quietly crept out of his room. He made it to the end of
the hallway when a firm voice almost gave him a heart attack,
“Did
we give you permission to leave your room?” Justin spun around quickly, facing
his father and cringed.
“No”
he answered softly.
“I’m
sorry, but I’m hungry and I just wanted to know…”
“Go
downstairs and grab some food, then go back into your room and stay there till
either your mom or I come in and tell you, you can come out. Is that
understood?”
“Yes
sir” Justin responded quickly, nodding frantically before scrambling down the
stairs. He halted halfway down the stairs,
“Dad?
Can I just call…” he asked quickly but never got to finish his sentence.
“No
calls, Justin. You know the rules” Howard interrupted. Justin’s shoulders
slumped.
“But...”
he tried.
“Justin?
Don’t make this worse son, now go get some food before I change my mind” Justin
didn’t dare to talk back, he quickly continued down the stairs and into the
kitchen, grabbing as much food as he could carry before running back up just as
quickly as he’d descended the stairs moments ago.
His
dad was waiting outside his bedroom and held the door open for his son, a stern
look on his face, daring him to ask him what he’d done wrong. Justin didn’t
ask, he knew that look and no way was he going to talk to him when he had that
look on his face. It would only make whatever he did ten times worse.
Justin
watched as his father pulled the door shut, sighing when he thought about Josh.
He couldn’t let him know he wouldn’t be able to make it and he silently
apologized before he fell on his bed and grabbed his journal, tugged under his
mattress, writing letters to Josh he would never get. Apologizing for their
missed date, telling him how much he meant to him and how thinking about their
dates and how they first met got him through his lonely hours. It didn’t matter
Josh would never get to see these letters, it made him feel better. But when he
thought about Josh and how much he wanted to be with him, tears sprung into his
eyes as he thought about being ‘locked’ up in his room while Josh was probably
dying with worry.
***
“We
need to talk” Justin’s father, Howard, said bluntly and Josh cringed at the
tone in his voice. He’d seen him come in but had tried to avoid him. He could
no longer do that as the guy was practically in his face.
“I
can’t, I’m working” Josh said carefully, even if he wanted to stop working he
couldn’t, his boss wouldn’t let him take a break if it wasn’t time for it.
“Then
take a break” Howard said simply.
“I
can’t” Josh said while he grabbed some rolls out of the oven.
“When
is your break?” Howard wasn’t about to give up that easily.
“In
half an hour” Josh answered looking at the clock above the doorway.
“Then
I’ll wait” Howard said determined before taking a seat on one of the couches
Justin had been sitting on occasionally. But Justin always watched him with
love in his eyes, his father watched him with angry eyes. Josh felt the hateful
gaze on him for the whole half hour Howard was waiting for him. And after that
half hour; Josh was almost afraid to face him, it couldn’t be good.
***
“What
are you doing with my son?” Howard hissed when Josh sat down opposite of him at
the tables in the back. When he stood in front of Howard; he’d guided them to
the back, not willing to discuss, whatever it was, in the open.
“What
do you mean?” Josh asked calmly, denying he was doing something with him. The
way this man had said ‘doing’ made him feel like an old pervert.
“We’re
just friends” Josh tried to tell him but he’d barely finished his sentence when
Howard sneered,
“Oh
quit lying!”
A
few people stared at the pair, Howard noticed the glances and tried to calm
himself down taking a few strained breaths he continued.
“You’re
more than just friends. How did you get him to do this? Did you tell him that
he should keep his mouth shut about your relationship? Did you make him do it?”
Howard hissed, not wanting to make a scene. All the accusations made Josh
dizzy.
“What
are you implying sir?” Josh asked through gritted teeth, biting his lip to keep
himself from yelling at this man.
“You
used my son for your own personal pleasure or whatever games you fags play!”
Howard spat at him, his voice rising at the end in anger.
“Could
you keep your voice down, sir?!” Josh pleaded somewhat, they were making a
scene.
“Oh
you’re worried they’ll know you’re a fag?” Howard said, his volume once again
rising at the end of his sentence.
“No”
Josh answered, furious but he kept it hidden, his voice monotone.
“But
I have to work here after this, please…” Josh pleaded but he made it sound like
a request. Howard stared at him for a while which made Josh angry.
“If
you got something to say than say it. It obviously isn’t a social call so tell
me what you came here for” Josh said wanting to know what was going on.
“Alright
if that’s what you want; I want you to leave my son alone” he stated. Josh sat
dumbfounded; staring at the man in front of him. Ok he knew it wouldn’t be good
if this man came down here to ‘talk’ to him but he had never expected this. Now
way did he see this coming.
“Ex…
excuse me?” he stammered, having trouble finding words in his still shocked
state.
“You
heard me” Howard said simply.
“I
don’t want you anywhere near my son again”
“B…
but why?” Josh asked, still not comprehending the situation.
“You
have a bad influence on my son; he wasn’t gay before he met you and I don’t
know what you did to make him that way but I won’t let you turn him into a
faggot”
“Mr.
Timberlake, I…”
“I
don’t care” Howard said holding up his hand to silence Josh.
“I
don’t care what you have to say but if you know what’s good for you you’ll
leave him alone. I will take care of Justin, you just stay the hell away from
him” Howard said in a cold tone of voice, Josh still not comprehending what was
happening. Josh stared at the man, unable to formulate words when the man
nodded and stood. Josh watched him move towards the door and without looking
back disappearing out the door.
***
“Josh!”
a harsh voice cut right through him, he was still dazed and still sitting at
the table after his ‘talk’ with Howard Timberlake.
“Why
are you still sitting here?! Get your lazy ass behind that counter, your break
ended 10 minutes ago!” the voice yelled at him.
Josh
barely acknowledged it, his mind kept replaying the conversation he’d had with
Justin’s dad. He didn’t feel the hand that grabbed his arm roughly and pulled
him up, shoving him behind the counter when the shop was pretty much empty
apart from the regulars who didn’t mind the treatment Josh received, thought he
disserved it. Josh didn’t care, and his mother was the last person on his mind
when he tried to pull his arm from the man’s grip and told him,
“Fuck
off”
The
hand instantly fell off his arm in shock and his boss was in his face in a
heart beat, he could feel the man’s breathing on his face.
“Watch
it you little fag! You think you can use that tone with me? I will hold back
some money from your paycheck. That will teach you to treat me with respect. I
don’t accept that kind of talk back from you, pretty boy” his boss told him,
putting him back in his place.
Josh
immediately regretted his comment, not only that; he also regretted he ever
told this man he needed the money really bad. He’d been working here for quite
some time ever since his mom got sick and he’d told this man about his reasons,
being young and naïve, he thought the man would show some sympathy when he had
to leave early or something and in the beginning he had till the moment he
found out that Josh was gay. He’d used it against him and the fact that he
needed the money really bad made the power trip even better.
The
job paid really well, in comparison to other jobs where you worked more hours
for less money, that’s why he couldn’t afford to loose it. His boss knew that
and by the look in his face he loved it, loved knowing that Josh needed this
and would take a lot to keep the job. Josh was willing to be this man’s verbal
punching back if he’d just get the money so his mother could stay in the
nursery home.
“Mr.
Johnson, I’m sorry. I’m just having a really bad day” Josh said wearily with
pleading eyes.
“Well
that’s not my problem, you just remember who you’re talking to next time” Mr.
Johnson said, the power trip he was feeling coming through in his voice. Josh’s
shoulders slumped.
“Yes
sir” he said reluctantly, as much as he wanted to punch this guy in the face
he’d only make it worse for himself.
The
money Mr. Johnson would hold back meant a meal less for him because he couldn’t
afford to cut back on the money for his mother. He needed all of it for her so
he’d just have to put his own needs aside, again, for the sake of his mother.
Sometimes he got angry for that; he should be in college right now, having the
time of his life, enjoying his younger years and what everyone kept calling the
best time of your life. Instead he was working two jobs, taking crap from
assholes such as Mr. Johnson and letting Mr. Timberlake make him feel like low
life scum. He got angry for a moment but he couldn’t stay angry very long as
the picture of his mother lying there in that bed in so much pain came to mind.
It hurt every time to see her in so much pain, the smile on her face when she
saw Justin made him smile as well but Justin was out of his life, at least that
was what his father wanted, but did Justin want that too?
This
day was getting better and better, he thought sarcastically as he went to help
the next customer, impatiently waiting for him to acknowledge her.
***
“Justin
come down here!” Howard yelled when he got back after his talk with Josh.
A
door softly opened upstairs and Justin shuffled out, making his way down the
stairs; his shoulders slumped and his eyes turned to the floor.
“Have
a seat, son” Howard said to his son, gesturing towards the couch. Justin nodded
before sitting down, his hands clasped together in his lap as he waited.
“What
did I do?” he asked in a small voice when his father didn’t say anything, he
could feel him staring at him and asked out loud what had been on his mind ever
since he got sent to his room without an explanation.
“You
didn’t do anything” Howard said, it was apart of his plan.
“But
why…?” Justin asked, his eyebrows knitted in confusion.
“Listen
son, I caught your friend Josh stealing” Howard revealed.
“What?
When?” Justin asked frantically, Josh stealing? No way. When he met his
father’s stern gaze he kept his mouth shut.
“Yes,
I noticed some things gone missing in the last few months so I went to have a
talk with your friend today,”
“You
went to see Josh?” Justin asked fearful.
“Yes,
that’s why I needed you to stay in your room. I needed to talk to him and I
knew you two were supposed to meet each other. But like I said I went to him
and confronted him and he admitted it”
“No”
Justin denied, shaking his head in disbelief.
“Justin”
Howard warned.
“No
this can’t be, he wouldn’t do that, it has to be a mistake. Let me talk to him
and please I’ll…” Justin denied pleadingly already starting to get up.
“No
Justin, you’ll never see that boy again, do you hear me?” Howard asked firmly.
“But
dad….” Justin argued again, slowly sinking back to his seat.
“No
Justin, no!” Howard took a deep breath before addressing his son,
“Justin,
look at me” Justin slowly turned his gaze to his father.
“You
will not see that boy again, understood?” Howard said in an icy tone of voice
which made Justin shudder. Justin looked his father in the eye, he tried hard
not to cry, he bit his lip hard but didn’t reply his father.
“Do
you understand?” he repeated louder, he almost yelled. Justin jumped at the
loud tone, no, no, no this wasn’t happening! It couldn’t be! Justin quickly
nodded,
“Yes
sir” he said with tears in his eyes.
“Good.
Now go to your room and start your homework” Justin scrambled away, he ran upstairs
and threw himself on the bed, sobbing in his pillow.
No, this couldn’t
be happening!
