“I’m Sorry”

Abby lay on her back and smiled up at the young boy that sat on her stomach. "I'm sittin' on da baby, Mommy!" Braeden yelled excitedly. She couldn't help but laugh at her son's enthusiasm...and she wished she felt the same amount.

She gritted her teeth as his weight pushed too much, and she lifted him off to sit on the couch instead. "You're too heavy for Mommy's belly, sweetie."

"Is Daddy gonna come see my baby?" Braeden asked innocently, causing Abby's smile to fade.

She rubbed her stomach habitually and sighed. "No, sweetie, I don't think he is," she answered sadly.

Why was she still hung up on a man who probably never would have made it in the long run anyway? Why had she cried more over this man, whom she had barely known, than she had over Ben, a man she'd known for 10 years? Why was JC Chasez so special to have put her through so much pain and grief over losing him? Why was he any different than any other man in her life? She couldn't answer any of the questions in her mind, but she knew that JC Chasez was one man she would NEVER get over.

She looked into her son's eyes and silently apologized for the pain she'd caused in his life. She'd brought him into the world without a father. The first years of his life, she'd barely had enough money to feed the two of them. Potential fathers would walk into her life, but when Braeden's presence was made known, cowardly men walked right back through that door.

JC hadn't been like that. Sure, he hadn't been too keen on the idea at first, but he had warmed up to the situation quickly and willingly allowed the two into his heart.

Or so she had thought.

"He never loved us anyway," she whispered to her child, just before a blinding pain raced through her abdomen.

Braeden looked at his mother in worry and pushed at her gently when her eyes fell closed with a gasp. "Mommy! What wrong, Mommy?"

Abby opened her eyes long enough to look into her son's eyes. "Brad-...get the phone for Mommy, okay? Can you find me the phone?

The little boy nodded and raced out of the living room to the kitchen where he had learned the cordless phone always was. His little hand clasped it tightly and he hurried back into the living room to hand it to his mother. "Here, Mommy." He cocked his head as she breathed deeply and quickly dialed numbers. "You otay?"

Abby smiled slightly to her son and reached out to rub her hand over his head affectionately. "I'm fine, honey...I think your brother or sister wants to make an entrance." She rubbed her stomach again and continued to take deep breaths. "Joey?" she asked as she heard the greeting at the other end of the phone.

Joey furrowed his brow at Abby's breathy voice. "Abs...sweetie, is everything okay?" He looked up at the other three men in his living room and then glanced at the calendar, counting the days. Realization hit him and he gripped the phone tightly. "Abby, are you in labor?"

"Y-yes..." she muttered. "Joey...I can't do this alone...I can't."

"Call an ambulance and get to the hospital, Abby," he instructed.

"Joey...I-I need someone-"

"I know, Abby...I know. And I'll be there as soon as I can get on a plane." The three men whose heads had shot up at his question about the state of her labor, furrowed their brows in worry as they scrambled to get their shoes on. Joey looked at them and nodded. "Looks like Justin, Chris and Lance are coming too."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever," she mumbled. "Just someone get here!"

Joey reminded her again to call the ambulance immediately and hung up the phone to race up to his room and gather up some things. He passed JC in the hallway on the way up as the man exited the bathroom.

"What's going on?" JC asked, noticing the frantic look on his friend's face as well as hearing the sounds of scrambling around downstairs.

"Abby's in labor," Joey replied, causing the man to halt in his steps.

JC swallowed hard and followed Joey into his room, watching him pile some things in a duffel bag. Joey looked up at him as he bent to tie his shoes. "Jace, no one expects you to want to be there. You've done enough already."

"You don't understand," JC muttered. "And I'm going. I owe her this. She said she could never go through this alone again."

"Which is why she called me," Joey replied through gritted teeth, brushing past the man as he left the room.

JC stood silently in the hallway for several moments as the others flew out the door before scrambling after them. He jumped into the back of Justin's Mercedes SUV and finished putting his shoes on. "I'm coming," he breathed again, his chest heaving, as the others turned to look at him.

~*~

Abby held her son's hand the whole way to the hospital. Neither she nor any of the paramedics could calm him down or explain to him what was happening to his mother.

They settled her into a room, determining that the first contraction was a false alarm, but that they would keep her still until the birth. Abby insisted that her son be with her through the night. She needed someone there with her, since the father wasn't.

She lay there, in the darkness of her room, holding Braeden's little body close to her own. Her mind was not on sleeping or the birth in her near future. It was on JC...how much she needed his strength right now. She closed her eyes and silently made a wish that she knew would probably never come true. She wished that somehow, Joey and the guys had convinced JC to join them on the short flight from Orlando to Tampa. She just wanted him there...whether he would stay in their lives indefinitely or not.

Finally, Abby closed her eyes and fell into a deep, dreamless sleep.

~*~

JC's leg bounced continuously throughout the flight from Orlando. The stewardesses had offered him a number of things to calm him down, but he rejected all of the offers and continued to fidget.

Lance patted his friend's shoulder. "Relax man...I know the whole visit from Shaina last month has still got you spooked and this coming up isn't helping you any. I know that what she said to you is still on your mind...I can tell."

JC looked at the other man. "Lance...I wouldn't have believed it for even the small amount of time I did consider it if he hadn't had the blue eyes and brown hair...but I know that doesn't necessarily mean anything, I just...I felt sick."

The other singer nodded. "I know, man. Those types of coincidences can really spook a guy, ya know? But you have to realize that the decision you made is for the best if you ever expect Abby to let you back into her life."

"It just really scared me, is all. I almost believed it. But as I told her...even if Quentin is my son, I don't want to know it. I have a better life ahead of me if Abby will forgive me."

Lance nodded again. "Yes, you do."

JC's leg began to bounce again.

Joey shot his friend a dirty look and rolled his eyes. "Why are you so nervous?"

"I'm about to become a father," JC replied nonchalantly. "Wouldn't you be nervous?"

"You forget that I've gone through this already," Joey reminded. "You seem to have forgotten that little tidbit throughout this whole thing. You blamed our career and image on the reasons why you didn't want this to happen in letting this baby into your life. But you forgot that I went through that, Jace. And we're still popular. It didn't hurt us at all. You're just being an ass, and that is my opinion on this whole matter."

JC rolled his eyes. "And of course you are right. You know SO much more about my girlfriend than I do."

"You can't call her that anymore," Justin reminded.

"Screw you all," JC replied.

"Better not," Chris piped up. "You might get us all pregnant and walk out on us too." His comment warranted four glares, which immediately shut the eldest member up. He laughed as he saw the object of his badgering flip him off and mutter the words that matched the gesture.

~*~

Abby squeezed Ronnie's hand as the contraction slowly passed. "Isn't it...time yet?" she asked, breathing deeply.

The nurse smiled and watched the clock. "Not yet, sweetheart. Your contractions are still too far apart. I'm sure it will be soon, though."

With that reassurance, the woman left the room and the three people in it. Abby turned to look at Braeden where he sat in the chair, watching his mother in confusion and/or boredom. "Sweetie, are you okay?"

He nodded silently, picking at his fingernails. "Yes," he replied.

She sighed and looked back to Ronnie as he brushed her hair out of her face. "Could you take him somewhere? Get him some breakfast or something? He's been in here since last night."

Ronnie looked at his watch, then nodded slowly. "Yeah, but I've got to get going soon...I just don't want to leave you here alone," he whispered.

"I'll be fine," she replied. "I've done this alone before. And besides, Joey and the guys are flying over. They left last night and should be here any time."

He sighed and reached out for the young boy, lifting him up into his arms. "We'll be back soon." He stepped out of the room and was gone maybe ten minutes before the door flew open again and four figures raced in.

Abby smiled as Joey leaned down to give her a hug. "Dear Abby...how you hanging in there, kiddo?"

She shrugged and kissed the man's cheek. "As well as can be expected. It was a false alarm, but they think I could go into labor any time."

Each of the other three took their turns hugging the young woman, and took seats around her. "You look good," Justin commented, sitting down on the end of her bed. "I've missed having you around all the time, girlie."

Abby smiled slightly. "I've missed it too...but things...happen, I guess."

"They shouldn't have happened that way, though Abby," Lance stated from the other side of the room.

"Abs, I wish I was in a position to apologize for the shitty things Jace has done to you. He's been a real ass and really doesn't deserve any kind of respect from you since he wasn't willing to offer you any of the same. He seems to have forgotten that I've been through the same thing when Kelly had my little girl."

Abby smiled. "I forgot about that. How is Bri?"

Joey beamed. "Wonderful...which is why I can't seem to figure out why Jace wouldn't want to experience the happiness she's brought to me with his own kid."

She nodded sadly.

"Hey, where is the current kid anyway?" Chris asked.

"With Ronnie," she replied. "Which is why I'm glad you guys are here, since Ronnie's leaving soon. I need someone to keep Braeden busy."

The door opened and a doctor found his way in. "More visitors for our beautiful mother-to-be? Goodness, you are a popular one, aren't you?"

Abby smiled. "I have some great friends."

"Now, which one of you is the father-to-be?" the doctor asked.

Abby looked down at her hands. "He-he's not here."

"Yes he is," Joey countered.

The doctor smiled. "Well great then! We can get him in here and meet the ma-"

"WAIT!"

All five looked up as her voice rose. "He's HERE?" They nodded in agreement. "Why is he here?"

"He said he needed to be here for you," Lance replied, slinking down into the chair.

She sighed. "Where is he?"

Joey shrugged. "Dunno. He followed us in, but stopped in the hall for a drink. He told us to go ahead and find you." He brushed a strand of hair out of Abby's face before smiling slightly.

The doctor was clearly confused, but shook his head, motioning to the four men. "I need you guys to step outside for a few minutes. I need to check on Miss Abby's charts and stuff. It will just be a few minutes."

The guys each hugged and kissed Abby before making their way out of the room. Upon stepping into the hallway, they saw JC making his way down the hall as another man approached from the other direction with Braeden in his arms.

Braeden caught sight of the brown-haired, blue-eyed man and squirmed out of Ronnie's arms and onto the floor to dash down the hall. Wrapping his tiny arms around JC's legs, he hugged the man tightly. "DADDY! You came to see my baby!"

JC had to fight back tears as he leaned down to untangle the boy's arms from around his legs. Lifting him up into his arms, he hugged him tightly to his chest. "Brady...oh God, Brady. I'm so happy to see you, buddy."

Braeden kissed JC's cheek quickly and hugged him around the neck. "Miss you, Daddy."

The man rubbed a comforting arm up and down the child's back, smiling over his shoulder at his friends who watched. "I missed you too, little man."

He nodded silently to Ronnie as the man approached the group.

"You must be JC," he casually stated, stuffing his hands into his pockets.

"Yeah...sorry, but I don't think I know you," JC replied.

"I'm Ronnie. Friend of Abby's...I was her boss too." He looked up as the doctor came back out of her room. "She's going through a lot right now because of you, you know."

JC nodded. "Yeah, I know." Looking down at the boy in his arms, he set him on the floor and watched him run over to Justin and Chris. "Do you all mind if I-"

"Go ahead, Jace," Joey said. "I think she needs to see you in a bad way."

JC nodded his silent thanks and made his way to the door.

~*~

Abby was casually flipping through the channels on the television when the door opened. Her heart nearly stopped beating at the tired and haggard looking man that entered her room.

He approached her bed and sat down beside it silently, looking her over with his steely-blue gaze. His hand reached out to lay over her own, his fingers tightening around it.

Turning his eyes to her own, he stared deep into her...heart, soul, mind, and body.

"I'm sorry."

Abby shook her head at the sudden appearance of the man before her. "W-what are you doing here?" she asked. "I didn't think I would ever see you again after the way you left." She was trying so hard to control her anger and not get worked up, but having him there, holding her hand after all of the things he had said...it was just too much for her.

JC nodded his head in agreement. "I-I know Abby. But...I made a promise to you that you wouldn't have to go through this alone ever again. I'm making good on that promise. I'm here for you."

"What if I don't want you here?" she asked, pushing herself up in the bed. "What if I want you to break your promise?" She stared back into his eyes and felt his hand loosen slightly from around her own.

JC's eyes narrowed at her words. "You're not serious, are you? Abby...you don't know what all I've done for us these last few mon-"

"SHUTUP JC!" she yelled in his face. "You want to talk about what I went through these last few months? I have been carrying around your child, inside of my stomach for the last nine months. You promised me you would always be there for me if I needed you, but what if I needed you then? Huh? What if I need you now?" Tears were spilling down her cheeks as she ranted, her hands flailing wildly in front of her.

JC grabbed her wrists and held her arms close to his chest as he leaned closer to her. "Abby! I know! Okay? I know this has been hard on you. I also know that I made a mistake and that I owe you at least this now."

"I don't want anything from you," she whispered, turning her head away from him. "I don't want your pity, I don't want your money...I just want you to leave me alone."

His eyes darkened and he looked down at their hands before slowly releasing them. "O-okay, then. I'll just leave you alone and...yeah." He stared down at her one last time before turning to leave the room.

"Josh?"

JC turned at her voice with hope in his heart. "Yeah?"

"Why are you really here?"

He stared at her for a moment or two, trying to read her mind. In that moment or two, her strong front faltered and she looked so distraught and frail. She did need him there, he could tell that. In just that moment or two, he vowed that when she went into labor, he would be there for her, and he would hold his baby.

"I've already told you...but you won't believe me," he replied quietly before leaving the room.

 

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