Twenty-Nine 

“What if we offered to set you up in your own place?” A voice said from the doorway of Lance's bedroom. Lance jumped.

“God, Mama,” Lance gasped, putting a hand over his heart. “Scare me to death.”

“Don't use the Lord's name in vain, James,” Diane said wearily. She sat on Lance's desk chair.

“Sorry,” Lance mumbled, zipping his suitcase shut. “Just gotta pack those two duffels and I'm done.”

“You're always so organized,” Diane replied.

“So, what was this about an apartment?” Lance asked.

“Your father and I were talking, and we thought we'd offer to rent an apartment for you.”

“And what will it cost me?” Lance said, slowly sitting on the edge of the bed.

“Just…it won't “cost” you anything, James. You'd have to move out of that fraternity, of course,” Diane said casually.

“And it would help if I got a girlfriend, right?” Lance said almost sarcastically.

“Well, I'm sure you would meet some lovely girls in an apartment building. And I'm also sure it would improve your study habits.”

“I get perfect marks now, Mama,” Lance said, shaking his head. “You haven't heard a word I've said, have you?”

“We can take it all away, James,” Diane said almost angrily. She stood up. “We can stop sending the checks that keep you IN that school.”

“So I take a semester off. I get a job. I tutor. I get back into school within a year,” Lance said just as angrily. “Mama, I'm GAY. Get over it.” Lance slung his duffel over his shoulder. “I was gonna stay tonight and leave after supper. I can't do it, though. Until you accept me, I can't be here.” Lance kissed his mother's cheek. “I still love you, Mama. You've made me realize a lot of things over this vacation. But I am what I am.” 

“It's raining men, hallelujah, it's raining men…amen…” Justin sang softly as he jogged up the steps. “Hey, Mike,” he said to someone passing by. “Hey, Lansten, I…” Justin stopped short in the doorway of what was usually Lance's room. One of the other fraternity brothers looked up at him.

“Hey, Justin.”

“Uh, Craig. Um, where's Lance?”

“Dunno. I got here and was told that I could have this single.”

“Shit.” Justin slapped the wall and went back out into the hallway.

He questioned everyone he knew and everyone gave him the same answer. No one knew where Lance was or why he obviously wasn't staying in the fraternity house. “Hey, man!” Nick said happily, giving Justin a hug. “Wanna go shoot some hoops?”

“NO.” Justin shoved Nick away. “I need to find Lance.”

“Um, okay,” Nick said, staring at him.

“Sorry, man. I'll shoot with you later, okay?” Justin said over his shoulder.

On his way to JC's apartment, Justin could only think of one thing. Things must have gone incredibly bad at home for Lance. He hadn't even come back to school. Justin knew that Lance would have called JC, if no one else.

Justin approached JC's apartment, his nose wrinkling. Obviously JC had tried to cook again. The door to JC's apartment was open a few inches, probably to let out the stench of the burned food. Justin froze as he heard Lance's voice.

“Back in high school I still thought I was kinda straight,” Lance said softly. “Ultra-denial, you know? But there was this guy on the basketball team, Jeremy. He was so fine. I tutored him…and he asked for some payment in return. He liked blowjobs from pretty boys with brains.”

“Lance,” JC gasped. Justin leaned against the wall and closed his eyes.

“And stupid me, I kept giving him what he wanted, ya know? I coulda stopped, but I loved him, and it made me feel special.”

“And that's why you hated Justin,” Chris said.

“Yeah. But I talked to him about it and he's forgiven me, I think.” Justin smiled as he listened. “But now I'm ready to turn over a new leaf. To start a new life. My mom actually made me think about some things, and she was right.”

“You know you're welcome here as long as you want, right?” JC asked.

“Yeah, Jayce, thanks. I can't live in the frat anymore. I need to start being a new me…and I've found just the person to start being that me with.” 

“Dude, let's shoot,” Justin said, barging into Nick's room.

“You just told me an hour ago you weren't interested!” Nick protested, pointing to his bunk. It was covered with clothing and CDs. “I'm in the middle of…”

“I don't care. Let's shoot.” Justin grabbed the basketball from its hallowed place on the closet shelf.

Nick waited until they had been making free throws for about twenty minutes before he asked, “What's going on?”

“I like someone.”

“Lance,” Nick said immediately. Justin stared at him. “What? You do. You want him bad.”

“I don't just want him. I like him. Hell, I may even love him,” Justin said, laughing at himself. “But now that's all for shit. He's straight.”

Nick tripped over his own feet. “He's WHAT?”

“Straight. He's going back to girls.” Justin angrily threw the basketball at the wall of the gym.

“How do you know this?”

“I heard him. He's moved out of the frat and in with JC until he can start this new life of his. He talked to his mom, he found some little whore, and he's STRAIGHT!”

“But I thought YOU were his little whore!” Nick protested. “I…I mean, I thought he wanted YOU.”

“Apparently I was just his little toy,” Justin said. “Getting back at some jock from his past. Now he can move on to his little house with his little wife and his little dog and his damn little white picket fence!”

“Uh, I think you're overreacting,” Nick said.

“I am not. WHY did I even like him? We're different as night and day. He always said so. And now…” Justin tossed the ball up and caught it. “Now he's gone. Maybe I can start a new life, too. Maybe I'll just start fucking anything that will let me. I'll just go out there and fuck him right out of my mind.”

“Who?” A voice said. Justin missed the ball and it bounced onto his head.

He turned around. “Hello, Lance,” Justin said coolly.

Lance looked at him sadly. “Hi.”

Nick had disappeared, and Justin wondered how long Lance had been standing there. “So…what's up?” Justin said, hooking a finger in the waistband of his sweatpants.

“You're, uh, planning a change?” Lance said, trying to smile. His heart was breaking.

“Yeah. You'd know all about life-changing decisions, wouldn't you? MY decision is to become a slut. I'll play ball, go to class, and get laid whenever possible.”

“Oh.” Lance studied his shoes. “Why are you doing that?”

“Why not?” Justin asked arrogantly, and Lance wondered what had happened to the boy he had talked to in Tennessee.

“What did you mean about me making life-changing decisions?” Lance asked.

“I heard you. You're moving in with JC because you have a girlfriend and you're not gay anymore.”

“I'm what?” Lance gasped. “Justin…”

“That's fine. I mean, you scored one for the underdog, didn't you? Got in on with a jock and then let him drop,” Justin said angrily.

Lance shook his head. “Justin, listen.”

“I'm not listening. I'm DONE listening. To think I wanted you. To think I thought I was falling in LOVE with you!” Justin threw the ball up again and Lance reached over and caught it.

“You need to clear those basketball nets out of your brain,” Lance said angrily. “I'm moving in with JC because I've moved out of the frat. And I've moved out of the frat because I'm in love with you and I want to be with you.”

Justin stared at him. “But you said…your mom…”

“She told me that I can't live in that frat forever. And she's right.”

“You called someone from my house…I thought it was your girlfriend.”

“NO, I called JC. I wanted to see if I could stay with him before I got back to school. I wanted to surprise you,” Lance said quietly.

“You did,” Justin said, rubbing at his curls. “You…you left the frat? For me?”

“Yeah,” Lance said. He took a few steps closer to Justin. “I want to be with you, Justin. I want us to try.”

Suddenly he was grabbed in a pair of strong arms, and Justin was kissing him. “I love you,” Justin said breathlessly. Lance smiled.

“I love you, too.”

The End

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