Don’t Leave Me

By: Rhyming Chick

 

She tapped her pen nervously against the desk, the lead falling millimetres from the plane ticket she'd purchased that afternoon. Desperately, she tried to keep her eyes away from the clock, not wanting to know what time it was, but she couldn't stop herself. Three in the morning. It was three o'clock in the morning and he still wasn't home. She didn't know why she was so surprised. He hadn't been home any earlier than two for the past week and a half. It was almost like he didn't care that she would be going back to school in a little less than a week. They would have had six, well now five days left together and he decided to spend all his time in the studio. She didn't want to think it, but the words "selfish bastard" couldn't be deterred from her mind.

 

Finally, she heard the lock of the door click and she imagined the cool breeze enter the house. She wanted to run down the stairs and ask him where he'd been, why he was so late. She'd promised herself she would. Instead, she let the pencil drop from her fingers, and noiselessly snuck back into bed. She squeezed her eyes shut, fully aware that he wouldn't be able to see her features in the dark, but not wanting to see him walk around the room as if there was nothing wrong with the fact that he'd left her alone once again. That didn't stop her from hearing him move around the room, shedding his clothes until she assumed he was only in his boxers, then sitting himself on the bed as he set the alarm for a time that would seem much too early for either of them. His hands paused and she could hear him take a confused ragged breath as he realised that the clock was already set for six-thirty in the morning. He didn't understand why she'd have any motivation to wake up at such an hour on her vacation, but didn't change it believing she must have had some kind of reason.

 

She could feel his warm breath on the back of her neck as he pulled her body closer to his chest, planting a kiss on her shoulder before letting his head fall against the pillow. She didn't want to cry, didn't want to think about the fact that this was the only kind of contact they had been having since her arrival, but she couldn't stop herself. The tears slowly travelled down her cheeks and it took all the strength she had to keep herself from sobbing out loud. All her efforts proved fruitless however, when her breath became shakier and the man behind her realised that she wasn't sleeping.

 

"Hey baby," he whispered, letting his lips place a gentle kiss on her ear that wasn't cushioned on the pillow. His left hand rubbed softly against the boxer shorts covering her left hip, making patterns that she couldn't or wouldn't comprehend. "Why are we getting up so early tomorrow?"

 

The fact that he said "we" almost made her chuckle. We, there had been no we during the entire visit, yet he kept using the word. It hadn't been in that sense though. "We" should be in the studio while the ideas are fresh. "We" are really excited about this new track. "We" are really making progress. She wasn't in any of those "we"s. Yet there it was, for the first time including her, funnily enough though, it wasn't suppose to include him.

 

"My flight leaves at seven," she whispered, refusing to turn around and face him, refusing to let him see the tears on her face, because as much as she hated to admit it, she still loved him and she didn't want him to know what he was making her feel. He tensed behind her and his arms instinctively tightened their hold around her waist as if that would keep her from leaving. He had to clear his throat before he was able to say anything more.

 

"I thought you didn't have to leave for a few more days," he said, then took in a very shaky breath that tore a little more away from her determination.

 

"I don't," she answered, wishing she'd been able to control her emotions. If only he hadn't realised she was awake. If only she'd set another alarm for six-thirty. If only he hadn't been ignoring her this entire visit.

 

"But you're leaving tomorrow?" he asked as his nose rubbed against her hair. He bit his lower lip, trying desperately not to lose it. He didn't want to cry and he didn't want to beg and he most certainly did not want to yell.

 

"Yeah," she answered. He said nothing. She wanted to go back to sleep right away, but couldn't stop herself from one last comment. "I'm sure you won't notice. You'll be in the studio."

 

He still said nothing, but his grip didn't loosen either.

 

* * * * *

 

She cried during her entire shower knowing she didn't want to leave him, didn't know when she would see him next, didn't want to feel like she should be leaving. Yet there was nothing she could do now and by the time she was dry and dressed, reaching for the bathroom door, she'd convinced herself that she was more than willing to leave everything in the hands of providence and accept whatever fate brought her way. She wasn't expecting fate to bring her him, standing outside the bathroom door, leaning against the hall wall with his arms crossed over his chest.

 

"Ready?" he asked. She could only stare. What was he doing? "You need a ride, right?" She nodded. This was it, he was saying good-bye. Her eyes travelled over every room, every piece of furniture, every knickknack she could find. He was driving her to the airport, not even caring what was wrong. This wasn't their usual good-bye, this was for good. She barely noticed that he held the car door open for her. She didn't watch the road or the scenery as he drove and it took her almost twenty minutes before she realised he wasn't taking the right road.

 

"This isn't the way to the airport," she said.

 

"We're making a detour," he answered, one hand on the wheel and the other supporting his head as his elbow rested against the window.

 

"I'll miss my flight," she replied.

 

"I'll buy you another ticket," was his answer and from the tone of his voice, she knew that arguing with him at this point wasn't the best idea. She sat quietly in her seat as he drove until she realised where he was headed. Her eyes closed in an attempt to control her anger. She didn't want to go where she knew he was driving her, but by the time she'd decided to simply get out of the car, regardless of the fact that it was still moving, they'd arrived to their destination.

 

He stepped out of the car and made his way around the vehicle. Her door was opened for her, yet she stayed in her seat, arms crossed and ignoring his outstretched hand.

 

"Are you coming?" he asked, his hand waiting for her grip.

 

"I don't want to go in. Go do what you have to do and I'll wait here."

 

"Get out of the car." She didn't say anything, didn't move... simply stayed in her seat staring ahead. She did not want to be here. Arguing, however, didn't seem to be an option. He reached in around her and unclasped her seatbelt. He then took hold of her hand, tugging until she followed the movement. His other hand gently cradled her head so it wouldn't hit the car as she exited the vehicle. Too insulted at their destination to protest anymore, she let him lead her into the building, down a few halls and through a door which opened into the studio she guessed had been taking up his time all week.

 

Although she truly didn't want to cry, she couldn't stop the tears that formed behind her eyes. This room, this bare, empty, barren room was where he had been all week. Where he preferred to be rather than in her arms. In the house where she had been contemplating moving so that they could be together more often despite his impossible schedule. That idea had quickly been scrapped however, seeing as he didn't even bother coming home when she was around.

 

"Sit," he ordered, as he walked out of the room. She did as he said, only because she was hoping that compliance would lead to a quicker exit. She spotted him inside the adjoined room, where the producer and technical people sat. He fiddled with a few buttons, and by the time the soft melody reached her ears, he was back in the room.

 

He walked up to her, placing himself between her legs as she stayed rooted to the stool she had taken as her seat.

 

"Hear this?" he asked, as his voice came over the speakers. She nodded as tears once again threatened to fall. She could never get enough of his voice and now, now that they had been through this week of hell, this - recorded, rhythmic words - was probably the only way she'd ever hear his voice again. Through CDs and tapes and music videos, like the rest of the world that dreamt of him nightly. Only she had held him, had felt him, had soared with him. Had, that was the word that made the sentence pitiful in her thoughts.

 

"This is what I've been working on this week," he continued. She listened distractedly, because she didn't really want to know what had kept him away from her, what was apparently more important than her. She didn't want to understand that whatever he was doing was truly beautiful and would probably fly up the charts while she would lay alone in bed, listening to his voice over and over on repeat in her stereo.

 

Yet she couldn't ignore the sounds around her, and despite her efforts, the music was penetrating to her brain. It wasn't his usual. It wasn't the upbeat tempo, or the lovelorn ballads. It was the real him. It was the him she heard when he played the piano after an extremely stressful week. Or the him that would sing in the shower to wind down from a particularly painful rehearsal. It was the him that was usually only hers, and now... apparently he was sharing that part of himself with the world. There was truly no more of him that was only her property.

 

"Listen to the words baby," he whispered, his lips too close to her ear and his voice too husky for the situation. Even if she had tried to ignore them now, she couldn't have. So she did listen. She listened to him sing about distance and hurt and heartbreak and love. And he sang it so well and so truthfully that she could feel her heart breaking even though she had been sure a few seconds ago that it had already been shattered beyond any fragment of recognition.

 

"JC," she began to protest, fully aware that if she didn't leave now, she would forget why she wanted to leave, forget their problems and then nothing would ever get solved.

 

"Don't leave me Alex, please." He nuzzled his nose against the crook of her neck, almost as if he were trying to enter her, become a part of her so that she wouldn't have been able to tear them apart even if she had wanted to.

 

"You came here, and I didn't want to avoid you baby, but all I could think of was that you would leave soon and then I wouldn't see you for so long. And I couldn't take it anymore. I'd always been able to handle it before, but now... Please don't leave me Alex. Please." His voice cracked as he pleaded with her, desperate to make her understand that he hadn't been purposely ignoring her, that he couldn't stand for her to leave now.

 

"Josh you just..."

 

"I know, I know." He hugged her closer to him, his fingers gripping the material of her shirt as if that would stop her from leaving. "I lay in bed with you that first night and I just couldn't fall asleep, because all I could think was that I wanted to enjoy as much time with you as I could before you left. And then I couldn't stop thinking about the fact that you would have to leave, and soon and... I couldn't take that. I couldn't lay there in bed with you every night, crying because I can't be with you every second of every day. So I came here where I could pretend to be useful though we both know that these will never make it on any of our records."

 

He paused and Alexandra noticed that by these, he meant that there was more than one song and that a new one had started since he'd entered the room. "I can't survive this week knowing that I drove you away Alex. Please don't leave."

 

She didn't know what to say to this. There wasn't anything to say to this. He hadn't been avoiding her because he didn't love her anymore or because he thought they needed distance. He had simply been trying to save himself from the hurt that he knew would shatter his heart on the day she would be leaving to return to school. Alexandra knew the feeling much too well to blame him for trying to protect himself from the pain that had personally kept her awake endless nights, sobbing in her pillow.

 

"Don't leave Alex," he muttered again, seconds before his lips crashed against hers. She felt the need to say something, to explain her side of the story and to state her definite position on whether or not she still wanted to go home right away, but she couldn't. She couldn't find even the tiniest amount of willpower to separate her lips from his. Instead, her hands dove into his hair, pushing him closer to her than he already was.

 

JC didn't seem to mind the pressure, as he scooted his body deeper between her legs until he was resting practically flush against her. His hands travelled up from her waist until they met her shoulders. Somewhat sated, his lips let hers escape, and nibbled along her jaw line until he reached her neck. He sucked and licked the new flesh, mindless of what kinds of marks he was probably leaving behind.

 

"But, I'm mad at you... and..." She tried to remember all the speeches she'd prepared in her head during his absences, but nothing was coming to mind. All she could feel was him against her and all she could hear was his gorgeous voice coming through the speakers.

 

"And... well, we're talking after this." She finally settled upon saying, all too aware that she was simply giving in to him.

 

"After," he agreed, scooping her up from her seat and settling her on the floor. His body barely parted from hers as he settled on top of her, one hand supporting his weight to keep from crushing her, and the other wiping the tears that had fallen from her eyes while she was listening to his songs, her songs from him to be more accurate.

 

She was so wrapped up in his lips against hers, that she didn't register the fact that he was slowly peeling layers of clothes off her body until she was completely naked under him. Her position only registered when she felt his denim pants scratching her skin and looked down at their bodies. Immediately, her hands reached for the hem of his shirt to get him in the same state she found herself in. He raised his arms above his head to help her, as his body slowly slithered along her own. Once his head was freed of the material, his lips eagerly massaged whatever flesh he could find below him.

 

Alex had expected him to come back up and join their lips again as soon as his shirt was discarded, but instead, he kept moving along her body. When he reached her hips, he took a few seconds to suck the flesh that covered her bones and to admire the part of her that she had once admitted to hating the most. Alex couldn't help the sigh that escaped her lips at the pure pleasure of the attention.

 

JC continued to move lower until butterfly kisses could be littered along her thighs. Without realising what she was doing, Alex parted her legs to give him access to the part of her that he wanted to taste the most. JC licked a line on her inner thigh until he reached the treasure he'd been seeking. The woman under him could no longer register anything he was doing, too caught up in the pleasure his licking, sucking and nibbling were giving her. She writhed beneath him until she could take no more, and simply let out a scream when lights flashed behind her closed eyelids.

 

By the time her breathing had become regular again, JC was laying beside her, his fingers soothing the skin of her stomach. Alex smiled coyly as she rolled on her side to face him. Her right hand reached out to unbuckle his belt and unfasten any other restrictions between them. JC kicked his pants and boxers off as soon as Alex had pushed them low enough for him to remove them easily. His girl, if he could convince her that he wasn't really a selfish prick and that she should indeed remain his girl, reached for him again, more than ready to return the favour he'd just bestowed upon her.

 

"Don't," he stopped her hand inches from touching his skin. "I won't last if you do that."

 

"But you just..." she protested vainly, her words lost when she felt JC pushing her back to the ground. He rolled on top of her and gently brushed her hair out of her face.

 

"I did," he interrupted, all too aware of what she was trying to say. They had been playing the tit for tat game for way too long and it was one of the things in their relationship that would have to change if they had any intention of being happy together.

 

"And now, I want this," he whispered, his lips inches from her ear as he dipped his hips against hers. Alex couldn't even think of a coherent reply, satisfied with a deep groan.

 

"Can I Alex? Can I come in baby? Can I make love to you?" he asked in a gentle voice, his lower body still thrusting against her own. Alex had to swallow a few times before she could finally speak again.

 

"Please Josh," she moaned. "Now."

 

JC didn't have to be told twice. He entered her completely in one stroke, then waited patiently as Alex got used to the feel of him once again. He took the sight of her head rolling back and her teeth bitting into her bottom lip as a sign that she was ready for more. Languidly, he started stroking in and out of her, slowly feeling every inch she had to offer him. Every moan that escaped from between her lips was encouragement to him and if he hadn't wanted to savour every second of this feeling like it were the last time he would be making love to her, he would have succumbed to his inner need and pounded into her relentlessly.

 

"Josh," she breathed the way that always brought him so much closer to the edge than he ever thought he could be. "More."

 

It was only one word but he knew exactly what she meant, because they had done this so many times before and knew each other so very well. He sped up slightly, reaching deeper inside her as his mouth worked the flesh along her neck and collarbone.

 

"Yes... please."

 

JC felt himself twitch inside of her, more at the tone of her voice than from what she was actually saying. There was no way he could last much longer, and so his right hand travelled down her body until he could fix a hold on her left hip. He pulled her towards him and away, letting himself touch places inside of her that he knew would make her see stars.

 

"Come on Alex," he coaxed her delicately. "Come with me."

 

And she did. They exploded together to see the same stars and the same bright lights. JC thrust in her for a little while longer as they both floated from their climaxes. Quietly, they lay in a slightly panting heap on the floor, sweaty body against sweaty body.

 

Alex wasn't sure how much time was spent between their explosion and the moment she realised that JC was stroking her hair soothingly, but she did realise that a good expanse of time had passed. JC lay on his back with Alex's head resting atop his chest, both of them planing from the high they had just experienced.

 

"Don't go," he whispered against her.

 

"I'm not," she answered in an equally soft voice.

 

"I mean forever."

 

"I know," she answered. She felt him shift under her, and turned to look him in the eye. "I was goingto tell you, I'm transferring. Once this semester is done, I'm going to come to school here, where you are. They offer my program and there's no reason why-"

 

She didn't have the chance to finish her sentence, her words interrupted by his lips against hers. He rolled on top of her without breaking the contact.

 

"I'm sorry I wasn't around," he mumbled into her mouth before kissing her again.

 

"I know, just don't do it again." JC took advantage of her pushing him away to talk, and let his tongue travel her neck, finding all the spots he knew would drive her absolutely wild.

 

"Never. I love you Alex," he said, needing to hear the words as much as she did.

 

"I love you Josh. And I'll love you even more if you convince Justin to let me live with him once I transfer." He chuckled against her skin.

 

"Shut up," he said, already thrusting his hips against her again.

 

The End

 

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