Chapter 5

 

                “I get a break, I get a break, I get a break.”  Justin did a little dance, consisting mostly of shuffling his feet forward and then back and waving his arms in little circles, to the song he was singing.

                “We get a break, egomaniac,” Chris offered from behind Joey.

                Justin seemed unfazed by the comment, but amended his lyrics.  “We get a break, we get a break, we get a break.”

                “What’s up man?” Lance asked Chris, “I haven’t seen you this bummed about getting a break since . . .  well, I’ve never seen you this bummed about getting a break.  Breaks are good Chris, say it with me now.”

                Chris shoved him away, slightly smiling at his joke, though nowhere near a full-fledged Kirkpatrick smile.  “Nothing.  Just tired, I guess.”

                “That’s a lie,” Lance commented with a voice lacking any emotion.

                “Yeah, well, it ain’t that important.”

                “It is if it’s bothering you man.  So what’s up?” Lance stopped Chris before he could continue walking.  The oldest member of the band had been in a bad mood for a few hours now, and that simply wasn’t like him.  Chris was usually the one who could see the bright side of any situation, and it worried Lance that that quality wasn’t showing itself right now.

                “It’s stupid,” Chris answered.

                “So humour me,” Lance insisted.  “You were fine this morning, and now you’re, well not, what happened?”

                Chris let out a sigh as he realised Lance wasn’t going to let him go until he received his answer.  “I thought Meghan would be around during the break.”

                “So?”  Lance asked before realising what Chris was trying to say.  “Oh.  So you’re not going to get to see her for a little while again.”

                “Yeah, I mean, I know it’s just a week and everything, but she just came back, and . . .  well . . . ”  He left the rest of the sentence hanging, not even sure how he could try to finish it.

                “You’re still going to miss her,” Lance finished.

                “Sad huh?”

                “Devastating,” Lance chuckled with Chris.  “So what is Meghan doing during the break?”

                “Not sure.  She was thinking about going home, but Leslie doesn’t feel like going back and facing everyone just yet, so she’s thinking about finding some kind of relaxing vacation for the two of them, even if it’s only for four days.”

                “Really, um, that would be nice for them,” Lance absentmindedly answered, hating the fact that he too suddenly felt a pang in his chest at the thought of being away from Leslie.  He quickly shook it away, telling himself it would be for the best.  This way he could quickly put a halt to whatever attachment was starting to form there.

                “Yeah, I guess.”  Chris shrugged his shoulders, he himself tired of being in a less than happy mood. “It’s only four days right.  Absence makes the heart grow fonder and all that junk.”

                He slapped Lance on the back, then skipped ahead to trip Justin up in his little happy dance.  Suddenly, Lance wasn’t so sure being away from Leslie was the best solution in view of Chris’ comment.

 

                “Baby!  Kelly?  Bri?  Hello!”  Joey walked through the house looking for the two of the most important women in his life, and finding absolutely nothing.  He dropped his bag in the entrance, all too aware that he would get yelled for it later on, and moved around the house with more speed now that he didn’t have the extra weight.  “Kel?  Guys?”

                He was just about to give up, when he heard a squeal from the direction he’d just come from.  “Daddy!”

                Joey turned around just in time to catch a ball of Brianna jumping into his arms.

                “Ouf!” he mockingly complained.  “Oh, I don’t think you were this big the last time I saw you.”

                “Nope,” she answered, shaking her head vigorously from side to side.

                “Joseph Anthony Fatone-”

                “I know, I know,” he interrupted her before she could continue, “the bag at the door.  I was so excited to see my girls that I couldn’t be weighed down.  I’ll move it now.”

                “Yeah mommy,” Brianna giggled as her father tickled her middle.

                “Don’t you start with me,” Kelly teased, waggling her finger at her daughter.

                “Presents?”  Brianna asked, looking up at her father expectantly.

                “There might be one or two in my bag,” Joey answered, not even able to pretend he hadn’t brought anything for his baby girl.

                “I get!”  Brianna exclaimed, wiggling out of his arms.  Joey laughed at her, all too aware the bag probably weighed more than she did.

                “I really was going to move the bag,” he whispered to Kelly before his lips touched hers.

                “Uh huh,” she answered incredulously.  He moved in for another quick kiss.

                “I was.  So where were you guys?”

                “Oh, um, you know just out.  She was restless knowing her daddy was coming home, so I took her out figuring that might calm her down.”  Joey didn’t believe for a second that she was telling him the whole truth, and was just about to call her on it, when he heard a yelp from the doorway.

                “Help!”  Brianna chirped as she dragged Joey’s bag behind her.  Joey and Kelly couldn’t help but laugh at her despite the pout it brought to her lips.

 

                “I’m not even close to believing that you sleep this hard,” Christalee mumbled as she reached for the phone on the night table.

                “Hello?” she asked, about as friendly as could be expected from someone who had just been awakened after not nearly enough rest.

                “Christalee?” the voice over the phone asked.

                She froze.  This was definitely not the best way to start her day.  “Um, yes?  Ma’am?”

                “Well how are you darling?”

                “I’m fine.  Yourself?” Christalee stammered, wishing she had simply let the phone ring.

                “Oh I’m just fine dear.  Is my son sleeping there beside you?” JC’s mother asked.

                “Yeah, do you, um, want me to wake him up?”  Despite the fact that Karen couldn’t see her, Christalee was furiously blushing.

                “If you can manage to wake him, I would love to talk to him, thanks.”

                “Hold on a minute.”  Christalee moved the phone from her ear as she started to shake JC.

                “Five more minutes,” he mumbled into his pillow.  Christalee pried the fluffy headrest from under his head.  He still didn’t wake up. Finally, she pinched him inches from his hip.

                “Ow!  What the hell?”  He started, jumping about a foot off the bed.  “What are you doing?”

                “Phone,” she told him, passing him the receiver.

                “Hello?” he asked, his voice confused with more than just sleep.  As soon as the phone slipped into his hand, Christalee got out of the bed and headed for the attached bathroom.

                Christalee didn’t doubt that Mrs. Chasez knew she and her son were more than just friends.  And considering the open relationship JC had with his mother, she wasn’t naVve enough to think she didn’t know they were sleeping together as well.  Still, answering the phone to the voice of your boyfriend’s mother when your in bed with him, and when his mother is well aware that you’re in bed with him isn’t exactly the most comfortable thing.

                She walked into the shower, hoping the hot spray would distract her from the unease she felt after the call.  Karen had sounded so surprised to hear her voice, not necessarily surprised in a bad way, but still surprised.  Christalee had to wonder what JC had been telling her recently when they’d been fighting because she wouldn’t drop all her plans to be with him.

                Her mind was still trying to decipher whether or not there had been any hostility in Mrs. Chasez’s voice when she felt a pair of warm lips hit her neck.  They were immediately followed by two arms twining around her waist and pulling her against JC’s bare chest.

                “I’m trying to take a shower here,” she complained, though to be perfectly honest, there was nowhere she would rather have been at the moment, and nowhere she would rather have him be.

                “I have to shower too,” he answered.  “We’ll save water like this.”

                She wasn’t convinced that was true, all too aware that JC and her together in the shower could make for a very long shower.

                “What did your mother have to say?” she asked, as his fingers massaged shampoo into her hair.  She was too curious to wait for answers, but was also much too aware that with his hands taking such good care of her scalp, she might not be completely alert to what he was about to tell her.

                “She wanted to know what I was doing during my time off.  Curious if I was going to go visit them or what.”

                Christalee stiffened against him.  Sure she was on tour with him now, but it wasn’t the same as being home together, well, his home together, she reminded herself.  Perhaps she was being selfish, but she didn’t want him to go visit his parents and separate them once again.

                “Relax baby,” he whispered against her as he felt her back straighten against him.  “I didn’t say I’d go, I just said I’d think about it.  There was something I wanted to talk with you about first.”

                “Um, sure,” she answered, mad at herself for being so obvious with her feelings. The last thing she wanted to do was make him feel guilty about visiting his own parents.

                “Well, I was wondering if maybe you’d want to come down with me and spend the weekend in Wasington.  What do you think?”

                “JC you know the media would jump on that.  And then what?  You’d be denying to everyone our relationship, and the questions would never end and it would be complete hell for you.  I don’t want that.  You don’t want that.”  She sighed loudly, then turned to face him.  He cupped water in his hands as she spoke and rinsed the shampoo out of her hair.  “It’s not that I don’t want to go visit your parents.  I just don’t think you want to deal with the media repercussions.”

                “It doesn’t have to be like that Tee.”

                “There’s no way you can sneak me back home without anyone noticing.  And there’s no way they’ll just leave it at you bringing a female friend home to hang out.  We both know this.”

                “Yes we do,” he told her, pushing her under the spray to make sure her hair was completely shampoo-free.  He pulled her closer to him when the task was done and dropped a kiss on her right shoulder. “But I don’t have to deny it.”

                “And just ignore them?  That’ll just make it worse Josh.  They’ll think you have something to hide,” she argued as she turned them around so he was under the spray.  She would happily have reciprocated his pampering, but reaching up to actually shampoo his hair would have been too awkward for both of them.

                “No, I’m saying I don’t deny it.  I say we go public.”

                Christalee didn’t know what to say in return.

 

                “Chris.”

                “I’m not leaving.”

                “Chris.”

                “Say my name as many times as you want, I’m not changing my mind.”

                “Chris.”

                “Okay, I will get annoyed though.  Look, I’m not moving, so you might as well just deal with that.”

                “You don’t have to be here, Chris.”

                “I know.  I want to be here.”

                “You want to be here?  Why?”

                “Because you need me here.”

                “No, I don’t.  I can do this without you.  So just, go home or something.  You shouldn’t even be up at this time.”

                He sighed, and threw the magazine he’d picked up on the coffee table in front of him.  “Look Meghan, humour me okay.  I want to feel needed, and you’re my victim.  So stop trying to get rid of me before you make me cry.”

                She didn’t want to, but she couldn’t help and let a small smile creep upon her lips.  “Fine.  Thank you.”

                “You’re welcome,” he answered.

                Meghan sat still all of fifteen seconds before she couldn’t be still any longer.  “What do you think they’re doing in there?”

                “Playing Chinese Checkers,” he responded as he looked at another magazine.

                “Why?”

                He laughed at her.  “I’m not serious.  She’s just getting to know her.  They’re laying ground.  It’s nothing to be alarmed about.  This is what happens the first time.”

                “Well then why can’t I be in there with them,” she demanded.

                “Because this isn’t your therapy session!” he exclaimed, his voice rising a little higher than he expected.  A few of the other people in the waiting room gave them weird looks as Chris smiled apologetically.

                “I just . . .  I worry about her,” Meghan finally resigned herself to explain.

                “I know, and that’s really sweet of you, but you have to understand that Leslie isn’t five anymore and that she has problems, that as much as you want to, you can’t solve.  That doesn’t mean you can’t help though.”

                “I can’t help,” Meghan protested, “she’s in there and I’m out here.  How can I possibly help?”

                “You got the numbers, you gave her a ride here, you’re waiting patiently and you’re going to be a listening ear in case she has anything she wants to talk over with someone.  You are doing your part Meghan, I promise.  Besides, aren’t you the one who’s staying with her right now, and making sure she’s really as fine as she pretends she is?”

                “Yes, but it doesn’t feel like it’s enough.”

                Chris sighed and placed his arm around her shoulder, pulling her closer to him.  Her head fell on his shoulder.  “I know.  But you’re doing everything you can, and that’s all anyone can ask of you.  Besides, Leslie seems to be doing fine and the thing she really needs right now is friends and family.  You are definitely taking care of that part.”

                “I guess.  But that doesn’t mean I’m not going to keep trying to do more for her.”

                “I didn’t doubt for a second,” Chris chuckled, his lips then planting a quick kiss on top of her head.

                “Chris?”

                “If you ask me how much longer they’re going to be in there, I will throw you across the room.”

                She giggled at his comment and it warmed Chris’ heart to hear her laugh, to know that she could still laugh.  “That’s not what I was going to say.”

                “What were you going to say then?” he asked, most of his attention focussed on the magazine in his hands.

                “Thank you.”  Her hand covered the magazine when she noticed that he didn’t seem that fazed at her comment.  “I do need you here.”

                Chris looked up at her, and couldn’t avoid her eyes.  It took every inch of his willpower to stop himself from grabbing her and kissing her senseless. 

                “I’m glad,” he answered, and he knew that she would understand that he wasn’t glad that they were in a psychiatrist’s waiting room, or that Leslie needed to visit a psychiatrist, or that Meghan couldn’t handle this by herself, but that he felt good knowing she needed him as much as he needed her.

 

                He swirled the glass, watching as the ice cubes clinked against each other.  He hadn’t wanted to go out, but somehow Justin had convinced him.  And as he thought of the boy, he showed up to sit next to him, a very dejected look on his face.

                “What’s wrong with you?  Weren’t you just out there having the time of your life five seconds ago?”  Lance asked as Justin plopped down next to him.

                Justin didn’t answer verbally, but pointed his finger toward the ceiling.  Lance looked up but didn’t see anything suspicious.

                “You’re afraid the ceiling is going to cave in and render us all dead?” he asked, though he wasn’t sure if he was annoyed or trying to get Justin to smile.

                “The song,” Justin answered as though that would answer all.

                “Not your favourite?” Lance replied, already getting sick of the little guessing game.

                “This is the song that was playing after the first time Sam and I-”

                “Okay, you can stop that thought right there thank you very much,” Lance interrupted, “you are even more depressing than I am.”

                “I’m sorry all right.  My girlfriend abandoned me for the only weekend we have alone together at home in God knows how long, I think I’m allowed to be just a tad depressed about this.”

                “Justin, she barely ever gets to go visit her family and it’s not like they can afford to leave everything and come visit her, well, ever on tour.  You get to see her every day on tour.”

                “Yeah, but not alone!”  Justin complained, contemplating the drink in his hands.

                “You guys share a hotel room every night we’re not on the bus, you better as Hell be alone.”

                “Lance!” Justin whined, discontent with the fact that the conversation wasn’t gaining him anywhere near the amount of pity he thought he deserved.

                “I know, I know!  It’s not the same! Whatever.”  Lance tried not to laugh at Justin who actually did look quite miserable, but couldn’t entirely help himself.  “You know you were trying to do the same thing to JC, telling Lee she had to work all weekend, that’s just cruel.”

                “What!  She’s new, she has to learn her job.”

                “She deserves the weekend off J.”

                “I know,” Justin reluctantly answered, “I just like seeing C squirm.”

                “That’s sweet, really it is,”  Lance offered.

                “I try.”

                “Why didn’t you just go with her?”  Lance asked, expecting nothing like the exaggerated sigh he received from Justin.

                “No way.  I don’t think I know any other two people on earth that hate me as much as those two do.  I’ll stay here and wallow thank you very much.”

                “I’m sure they don’t hate you Justin.”

                “And I’m sure they do.  After all, I am the man who’s corrupting their innocent little girl.”

                “Justin!”

                “Hey, I’m just happy she’s the youngest and not an only child, I can just imagine what kind of reaction they would have if they thought I was tainting their only baby!”

                “I think you’re exaggerating a bit there buddy.  They probably don’t hate you.”

                “Oh, but they do.  Her father all but said he’d kill me if I ever hurt his baby girl.”

                “I’m sure all-” Lance started.

                “Fathers react that way regardless of who their daughter is dating?  Yeah, I’ve heard that line thanks.”  He sat sullenly still nursing his drink, the same one he’d initially ordered from the waitress and still hadn’t found the strength to drink.  “So, what about you man?”

                “Me?  What about me?”

                “Oh come on man, you’ve been in a funk forever now. Don’t think that I didn’t notice just because of all the JC and Chrissy drama going on in the forefront.  There’s something that’s bothering you and I fully intend to find out exactly what it is before this night is over.”

                “There’s nothing bothering me man.  Let it go.”  But Lance already knew Justin wouldn’t let it go.  He knew Justin would prod and annoy and insist and just sit there staring at him until he finally cracked and told him exactly what was wrong.  Not that there was anything wrong.

                “You know it’ll be better for all of us if you just tell me Lance,” Justin insisted.

                “What all?  There’s just you and me here.  Where exactly are you finding this all?”

                Justin shook his head.  “You aren’t changing the subject man.  Just tell me what’s wrong!”

                “It’s nothing,” Lance answered and he knew as soon as the words left his mouth that was the wrong thing to say.

                “But there is an ‘it’ . . .  I knew something was wrong.  All right, you don’t have to tell me, we’ll figure it out together.”  His eyebrows scrunched in concentration and Lance wished he could laugh at him, but this was his life after all.

                “What is this ‘we’?  There’s nothing I want to figure out, you are on your own here.”  Lance tried to be stern but didn’t even convince himself. 

                “All right, so you won’t tell me.  Then, I’ll have to guess.”  Justin apparently ignored him anyway.  “It’s about the band?”

                “What’s wrong with the band?”  Lance automatically reacted and Justin guessed it wasn’t about the band.

                “All right, next question.  It’s about your family?”

                “There’s nothing wrong with my family,” Lance answered a little more calmly all too aware that he would find out if there was anything wrong with his family far earlier than Justin would.

                “It’s about one of your companies?”  Justin ventured though from what he’d heard, Lance’s companies were doing as good as ever.

                “No, drink your damn liquor man.”

                Justin ignored him.  “It’s about me?”

                “It’s about to become about you, that’s for damn sure.”

                “It’s about Sam?”

                “You’re pathetic.”

                “It’s about Jace?”

                “Jace has his own problems.”

                “It’s about Joey?”

                “Not especially.”

                “It’s about Chris?”

                “Not exactly.”

                “It’s about-” Justin paused here, processing Lance’s last word.  “Exactly.”  That meant somehow, Chris was indirectly involved.  He started on the first thing that came to mind whenever Chris was mentioned.  “It’s about Meghan?”

                “No,” Lance answered, but already his voice was softer as he could feel Justin wasn’t all that far from finding his answer.

                Justin tried to think.  What exactly could be bothering Lance that was related to Meghan. “It’s about your assistant?”

                “No,” Lance responded, suddenly wondering why exactly he was even playing along with the damned game.

                “It’s about a conflict of dates?”

                “No.”

                “It’s about that chick?”  Justin asked, trying desperately to remember what the name of Lance’s newest secretary at FreeLance Entertainment was called.

                “Leslie,” Lance supplied before he even realised what he was saying.

                Justin’s eyes quickly shot up.  Lance’s new secretary was not named Leslie, but he did know a girl who was.  “It’s about Meghan’s cousin?”

                “I didn’t say that,” Lance answered, more than aware that he’d already let the cat way out of the bag.

                “But you didn’t not say that,” Justin retorted automatically.

                “Actually, yes I did not say that.”

                Justin looked up in confusion only to realise that Lance was entirely right, but that was beyond the point at this time in their conversation.  “So what’s wrong with Leslie?”

                “You’re asking me what’s wrong with a woman who was terrorized by her ex-boyfriend to the point where the police had him arrested?”  Lance asked in disbelief.

                “Well, what I meant is what’s wrong between you and Leslie?”  Justin rephrased.

                “Nothing, nothing’s wrong between me and Leslie, there isn’t even anything between me and Leslie,” Lance quickly answered.

                “And I’m guessing that’s what’s wrong,” Justin decided.  “So, how long are you going to take to make your move?”

                “Justin!”

                “What?  It’s not like you don’t see her often enough . . .  well like you won’t be seeing her often enough.  She’s going to be on tour with us man, it’s absolutely perfect.”  Though as he said it, he got a sinking feeling in his stomach remembering that his girlfriend was on tour with him and that right now he was states away from her.

                “Are you forgetting the fact that she can barely stand to be touched by a man right now, much less have one as her boyfriend?”  Lance exclaimed, even more frustrated with the situation than he was with Justin.

                “From what I’ve seen, that’s not entirely true,” Justin mumbled under his breath.  Somehow, Lance heard him over the music of the club.

                “What’s that supposed to mean?”  Lance defended himself, though he wasn’t sure yet what he was defending himself against.

                “I saw you.  I went to get Christalee that morning so I could show her some things, and I saw you rush into that room.  You were still there after I’d tortured Christalee and you were there, from what I can gather of the other guys seeing you that morning, for quite some time.  You’re telling me you spent all that time with her and didn’t even get a handshake or something?”

                “That’s different, she woke up screaming, it’s only natural that she would want someone to hold her and . . . ”  Lance broke off, realising that nothing he could say would help his argument now that he’d admitted what had truly happened in the room.

                “She can’t stand being touched by a man, yet she let you hold her after a bad dream?  I don’t think your arguments are holding up here buddy.”

                “Fine,” Lance conceded, “but that doesn’t mean she’s ready for a boyfriend.”

                “You’ll never know what she’s ready for until you ask Lance.”  Justin pushed the full glass on the table closer to Lance.

 

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