Chapter 12

In some ways it was like things had never changed. They were best friends, sitting together on Brian’s couch watching a movie and just enjoying each other’s company. But in other larger ways, things were totally different. Both of them were very much aware of one another’s presence. Nick could barely breathe each time Brian would accidentally brush against him. He wanted to reach out and take him into his arms, kiss him and tell him how much he loved him. And Brian was incredibly nervous. He felt like he needed to apologize to Nick, to show him, somehow, that he was so sorry for what he had done…that he was sorry that he couldn’t say what he wanted to hear. But the more he thought about it, the more he realized that doing that would probably only upset Nick more. 

Basically they watched the movie in silence, laughing in the appropriate places, occasionally making random comments to each other…anything to avoid what was lingering in the air between them. When the movie ended things became even more awkward. There was really no point in Nick going home, not when it was so late, and not when he had stayed here hundreds of times in the past. But they had always slept in the same bed…ever since Nick was fourteen. They couldn’t do that now, could they?  

Nick solved the problem easily enough, wanting to avoid any sort of confrontation right now. Now wasn’t the time to go into everything that they had to work through. When that time came, and Nick knew it would be soon, he wouldn’t hesitate in saying all that he had to say. After the movie, Brian got up and Nick took advantage of his absence to shut off the television and make his way into Brian’s spare bedroom. He glanced around nervously at the room he hardly ever spent time in. The last time he had slept in here had been the first…that night so long ago when he had stayed at Brian’s for the first time. He shook himself out of his memories and quickly made himself comfortable on the bed. When Brian came out of the bathroom, Nick yelled a quick goodnight to him, letting Brian know where he was. 

Brian called out a goodnight to Nick and then stepped into his room. He sighed and ran his hands through his hair. He knew it was better that Nick stayed in his other bedroom, but in his heart, he wanted him where he always was when he stayed over…in his bed, in his arms. He had wondered, while in the bathroom, what they were going to do because he didn’t want Nick to go home, but he knew they couldn’t sleep in the same bed…not now. He also knew that the two of them had done their best, and succeeded, in avoiding the heartache between them…at least for the moment. But as he slipped into bed and shut off the light he couldn’t help wishing Nick was here with him. He wanted to hold him, and the braver part of him wanted to talk. He knew he couldn’t give Nick everything that he wanted yet…but they had to work things out. They just had to. Brian needed him too much to lose him.  

~*~*~ 

Nick glanced at the clock on the nightstand that read 2:23 am and wrapped his arms around his chest. He didn’t know what he was doing. It was the middle of the night and he was standing next to Brian’s bed, watching him sleep and shivering in his boxers and t-shirt. His head told him to go back into the other bedroom and go back to sleep. But his heart, the stronger of the two voices, told him to slip into bed next to Brian and pull him into his arms. Yet he stayed right where he was, unable to stop staring at Brian’s sleeping form. The air conditioning was making his teeth chatter and he hugged himself tighter in an effort to get warmer. His feet were freezing as he rubbed first one then the other against his legs, trying to heat them up. And still, he stared at Brian. 

His heart was pounding in his ears when he finally made the decision and lifted the blankets on the empty side of the bed. He crawled in next to his friend and beneath the covers, but made sure to stay as far away from Brian as possible. Another twenty minutes passed as he lay still, frozen in one spot, watching his love sleep. Then he shut his eyes and listened to his heart, which was begging him to get closer. Damn the consequences. He needed this. They both needed this. 

Slowly, carefully so as not to wake him, he shifted closer, spooned up against Brian and slipped his arm around his waist. He tightened his grip as soon as he touched him and pressed as close as he could, breathing in his lover’s scent and nuzzling his head against those soft curls he adored. Once Nick had him in his arms it was easy to get lost. He kissed the back of his neck and sighed softly as Brian automatically pushed back against him. Their legs tangled naturally and Brian’s hands soon came to lie over the blonde’s. Moments of stillness and silence passed until Brian finally stirred and opened his eyes. He had felt Nick’s touch, even in sleep, and the softness of it had given him a comfort he hadn’t felt in months. But now that he was completely awake, he was nervous…why was Nick here?  

“Nick…?” He asked tentatively. “What…?” “Shh…” Nick whispered, tightening his grip on the older man. “Turn around Bri,” he whispered nervously. He knew what he wanted, but he couldn’t be sure it was the right thing to do. Brian shut his eyes and stayed completely still for a few moments before doing as Nick asked. The younger man’s intense blue gaze quickly met him and it took his breath away. 

“Nick, I--” Nick pressed his fingers to Brian’s lips and shook his head. Brian couldn’t look away from Nick’s eyes…even in the dark they shown with love for him. Before Brian could even attempt to protest or stop him, Nick kissed him. It was a shock to both of them. The touch of their lips, the soft sharing of breath…. It brought everything rushing back. Nick trembled as Brian slid his hand into his soft blonde hair and pressed him further into the kiss. Their bodies were drawn even closer to each other. They deepened the kiss at the same time, mouths opening, tongues touching softly. Every movement was slow, gentle and warm. Neither of them wanted to go too fast, because neither wanted to get their heart broken again. 

“Nick…” Brian tried to protest, when a wave of doubt washed over him. For a moment, he was hit with the thought that this would only end up hurting them. But Nick quickly blocked it out. He shook his head and kissed him again, deeper than before, but still with the same tender and slow touch. “Just kiss me,” Nick breathed against his swollen lips, pulling him closer and sighing when Brian’s tongue slipped into his mouth. This was perfect. This was where they both belonged…forever. 

When their kisses finally broke, many long moments later, the two of them stayed where they were, face to face on the same pillow, and searched each other’s eyes. Brian could tell from Nick’s _expression that he wanted to tell him something, but he was afraid of what that might be. No matter how much he wanted love, he still couldn’t bear to hear it. But Nick only smiled softly as he shook his head and pressed his finger to Brian’s lips, stopping his protest before it could start. “Just listen to me for a moment. Please?” He whispered. Brian could only nod in response. The look of intensity in Nick’s eyes gave him chills. “I’m not gonna say what you fear so terribly…not yet. But I want you to do something for me,” Nick murmured, running his fingers through Brian’s curls tenderly. He knew he’d never get tired of touching Brian, of looking at him…of loving him.  

Again, Brian nodded and waited for Nick to continue. His heart was racing in his chest and he felt warm all over. He wanted Nick’s love. He wanted it so desperately that it took his breath away. And he didn’t quite understand what was holding him back. Here, right now, Nick’s eyes were burning with love for him. The arms that surrounded him were full of it. It was beautiful and Brian trusted him enough to know that it was unending. Nonetheless, the fear was still there.  

 

 

“Tell me that you’ll try,” Nick said softly, his voice trembling as he tightened his grip on the man he loved so much, afraid suddenly, that he might slip away. “Promise me Brian.” When Brian didn’t answer right away, Nick rushed on. “I know that you trust me! Brian, I will always be here for you. What I feel isn’t going to just go away someday. I won’t…I won’t leave you,” he said passionately, truthfully. “I…Brian, I’m just…I’m so scared that it’ll never happen and I don’t know what I’d do then. There will never be anyone else for me,” he said softly, blinking to try and stop the tears that suddenly flooded his eyes. “I’m living for you,” he whispered, shutting his eyes as the tears began to fall. His heart ached to say I love you. He wanted to tell Brian so badly, but at the same time, he didn’t want to say it and then watch the fear and uncertainty appear in Brian’s eyes. 

Brian fell apart when Nick started to cry. He pulled the younger man closer to him and held him tightly, slipping one hand into his hair and rocking his body slowly. He kissed the side of his head and murmured soft, comforting words. “Please don’t cry Nicky…I’m sorry,” he whispered against Nick’s ear, kissing the soft skin tenderly. His heart was breaking and he hated knowing that he was the true cause of Nick’s heartache. He saw the love in Nick’s eyes, plain as day, and his words tore at his heart.  

“I’ll…I’ll w-wait for you,” Nick declared tearfully, lifting his head from where he had it nuzzled against Brian’s neck and looking into the older man’s eyes. “However long it takes…I swear. Just…please just tell me that you’re going to try,” he begged, his eyes burning into Brian’s. But he didn’t have to beg now. This was what Brian wanted. Nick and the beautiful love he was offering were what Brian wanted. And now he had the blonde’s patience and understanding. Brian kissed him warmly, running his fingers over Nick’s soft cheek as he tasted him. 

“I promise,” Brian whispered against Nick’s red, swollen lips. They both opened their eyes and their gazes immediately met. “I promise,” Brian repeated, his voice firmer this time. “I promise to try. I will try and Nick, I swear that someday I’ll give you what you want,” he stated, making the promise not only to his best friend, but to himself as well. He had to, because he couldn’t go through his whole life without knowing the love Nick felt. He wanted to feel free enough to give it all back to him. For whatever it was worth, he already felt it. He was desperately and unarguably in love with Nick, and furthermore, he knew the blonde could see that in his eyes, he could feel it in his touch. However, saying it was a different matter. Because once he said it, he couldn’t take it back. But now he knew…he didn’t ever want to take it back. Brian wanted this love and he intended to have it. He intended to have it forever. 

~*~*~ 

“Will you come home with me?” Nick asked as he sipped on a glass of orange juice. They had woken up around an hour ago and had lain in bed together for a while, content to just hold one another. Brian looked at him uncertainly. “I’m not sure I should,” he replied softly, turning away from Nick to rummage through his refrigerator for something worth eating. “Why not?” Nick asked curiously, watching him and knowing instinctively that Brian was avoiding something. Brian shut his eyes and sighed. Finally he turned around and sat down with Nick at his kitchen table. Nick was watching him expectantly, waiting for an answer. “Because ever since you left, I…your family and I haven’t seen as much of each other as we used to,” he explained softly. “I forced myself to stay away because…well, because I figured that they knew about what had happened and…I’m sure that seeing me was the last thing they wanted.” 

Nick looked at him in surprise. And then he realized why Brian was probably so worried. Despite everything they shared, Nick had never told him that his parents already knew everything. Well, at least all of the important things. And while Nick had always had his parents’ love and understanding, he realized now that Brian would have automatically assumed, due to his own family, that Nick’s parents would probably hate him for the relationship he had with their son. “And knowing that I broke your heart probably didn’t help…” Brian added. Nick snapped out of his thoughts and pulled his chair closer to where Brian sat. He smiled tenderly and shook his head. 

“They don’t hate you,” he said kindly, smiling and taking one of Brian’s hands that lay on the table, between his own. “But Nick--” “No, Bri, I swear they don’t,” he interrupted. “I should have told you this a long time ago. Maybe it would have made things different…probably not, but it couldn’t have hurt,” he said softly. “Told me what?” Brian asked curiously. “Bri…my parents have always known about us,” he said, watching as confusion spread over the older man’s face. “Well, maybe not always,” Nick went on, smiling slightly. “And they don’t know everything, but…they know enough. But when I left early this summer, they didn’t know why. I’m sure they were able to tell that something was wrong, but I didn’t tell them what happened before I left. In fact I just told my mom yesterday everything that had happened between us.” 

Brian stared at him in total shock, unconsciously settling his other hand on top of Nick’s. “Bri…my mom found me kissing you in my bed the morning I first left for college,” he said bluntly. “You were still asleep…I went into the hall and we talked about it briefly. And as far as I know, she told my dad after that because he told me the next time I was home that he wanted me to know that he was fine with it. It being the fact that I was gay or experimenting or whatever…” Nick stopped for a moment and grinned. “He was kinda embarrassed but we got through it. But Brian…I should have told you all this before. That and the fact that…well you never had to worry with my parents. They’ve never held a prejudice towards anyone for being gay or bisexual, and that’s how they raised all three of us. Hell, my dad’s best friend from college is gay and it was always understood that there was nothing wrong with that.” He stopped for a moment and smiled timidly at the older man, who was still looking at him in surprise. 

“They’ve always known?” Brian asked in a whisper. “Well, like I said, the first time we actually talked about it was that day my mom found me with you. But I think, from her reaction…well, she was surprised, but not that surprised, so I’m guessing she had her suspicions before then.” Nick leaned forward and cupped Brian’s cheek in his palm. “I wish I would have told you sooner,” he whispered. “I’m sorry about that, I really am. But I want you to know it now. And I want you to know that they both love you. I mean it,” he said firmly, holding Brian where he was and forcing him to keep looking into his eyes when he tried to look away. “Not now,” Brian whispered, staring into Nick’s eyes. Nick leaned forward and kissed him warmly. “Yes now,” he argued, smiling softly against Brian’s lips. “Come home with me, and I’ll prove it to you.” 

Nick stood up then and went into the bathroom. Brian didn’t move until he heard the water of his shower start to run. He stood up and set his and Nick’s glasses in the sink and then went back into his bedroom. It can’t be true. It just can’t. It’s only what Nick wants to believe. They can’t love me…especially if they know what I’ve done. Seduced their son…broke his heart… But Nick’s words echoed in his head, and the voice in his heart was arguing fervently with his cynical mind. He knew Nick’s parents, knew them better than he knew his own. And he knew that the love they had for their children was truly unconditional. He also realized that somewhere along the way, he had become part of that family, and they truly did care about him. 

~*~*~ 

“Brian!” Aaron and Angel jumped up from where they were bickering over what to watch on television when they saw him walk into the door with their older brother. Brian smiled warmly at both of them, hugging Angel gently and pulling Aaron into one of those manly handshakes-slash-hugs. Nick watched the three of them with a smile, but quickly changed his _expression to a pout when Aaron and Angel quickly resumed their argument on the couch after saying hello to Brian.  

“Oh so, this is the first time you see me, your brother, in four months, but Brian gets all the attention,” he said dramatically. “Well see, Nick, Brian is a popular guy,” Angel said smartly, turning around to face her older brother. “After all, our brother left last night to go see him before we even got home.” “Yeah, isn’t that the same brother who was away for four months?” Aaron said, slightly upset, mostly just mocking him. Nick sighed and walked to the other side of the couch so he was facing them. “You’re right. I’m sorry,” he said sincerely. “But think of it this way…at least that spared you the embarrassment of my fussing over you in your dance outfits,” he said in a lighter voice, smiling and hoping to get them to do the same. “And did dad let you bring your dates and some friends back here with you guys?” They nodded. “Well, just think about how embarrassing that would have been. Because you know I wouldn’t just be the cool older brother and leave you alone. You know I would want to hang out with you and steal your friends’ attention, right?” He teased. Neither of the twins could hold back their giggles. 

“As if any of our friends would want to hang out with you!” Aaron teased him. Nick feigned shock and pretended to look hurt. “Aw, now look Aaron, you hurt his feelings,” Angel said, smiling as she stood up and hugged her older brother. Brian watched them all with a tender smile, as did Nick’s mom who had just made an entrance into the living room. When she spotted Brian, she quickly made her way over to where he stood before he could somehow get away. Nick had called her about a half hour ago, letting her know that he and Brian would be coming home soon. He had whispered to her that Brian was in the shower and he wanted to call her now and explain what he had done. It had never even crossed her mind that Brian might not know that she and her husband already knew the nature of his and Nick’s relationship. But she intended to talk to him today and reassure him that everything Nick had told him was true. 

“Brian!” She exclaimed softly, hugging him and smiling as he looked at her shyly. “Will you come into the kitchen with me for a few minutes?” She asked. “Unless you want to get involved in that…” she said with a smile, nodding towards her children, who were now wrestling around on the floor as if they were much younger. He smiled back at her, though he still couldn’t prevent the nervousness that he felt around her, and nodded. It only got worse when he followed her into the kitchen and found himself alone with her. He was sure, despite everything Nick had told him and despite everything that he felt, that she was going to tell him to stay away from her son now. 

Brian sat down at the table and Jane asked him if he wanted anything to drink. When he declined she got him some iced tea anyway and then joined him at the table. Wanting to put him out of the misery she clearly saw written on his face, she decided to clear things up quickly. Reaching across the table she took his hands in her own and smiled warmly at him. “Brian, I want you to know that neither my husband nor I hate you or are angry with you in anyway,” she said softly. “We both know that you and Nick are more than just friends, and it doesn’t matter to us. It’s what makes you both happy and that’s what we want. It’s what we’ve always wanted for Nick, and it’s what we want for you too,” she said, smiling tenderly at him. “I know you have a hard time believing that,” she went on. “But it’s true. Brian, I know that you and Nick still have things to work out but I want you to know that we do love you, and you are as much a part of this family as my own children are,” she whispered. 

He looked at her in shock for a few moments before he started to cry. He couldn’t help it and he couldn’t stop it. She moved quickly, pulling her chair closer to his and leaning forward to wrap her arms around him. “Don’t cry Brian,” she whispered, running her hands up and down his back. “I know what you had to live with before you came out here to California,” she said softly. “Cindy told me,” she added in explanation. “I want you to let us be the family that you never had, ok? I know this is all new to you, and I know it’s hard, but I want you to know that we’ll always be here for you, and that you can take as much time as you need,” she murmured, happy to hear his sobs subsiding. She looked up and saw her son standing in the doorway with a worried _expression on his face. She shook her head and motioned him out of the room, smiling softly to let him know that things would be all right. 

When she finally let Brian go, he quickly wiped at his eyes and drank down most of the iced tea she had placed before him. “Thank you,” he whispered when she handed him a tissue. “You don’t know what all this means to me and, I just…” he stopped, unsure of how to say everything he was feeling. He had never expected this. “It’s ok honey; you don’t have to tell me everything right now,” she interrupted when she saw him become flustered. Feeling very motherly, she hugged him again, an embrace which he eagerly accepted. Between Nick’s mom and Nick himself, Brian was finding it harder and harder to hold onto all of those reasons and doubts he had about love. He smiled softly to himself and as he leaned further into Jane’s embrace. Maybe giving Nick what he wanted wouldn’t be so hard after all. 

~*~*~ 

“Nick! Brian! Get in here now…there’s only one minute left!” Aaron called from the living room. They smiled at each other and left their comfortable spot on the balcony and joined everyone. The room was full of people…Nick’s parents, Aaron, Angel and a lot of their friends, as well as Cindy, Brad and a few other of Nick’s parent’s friends. Nick and Brian stood back, a little further from everyone else and as his younger brother began counting along with the clock on the television, he slipped his arm around Brian’s waist, smiling to himself when he felt Brian’s arm around his.  

“Three, two, one…Happy New Year!” Nick couldn’t help laughing as Aaron and his friends jumped around loudly, being typical teenage boys, while Angel and her friends stared at them in mock disgust and embarrassment. “Nick.” He heard Brian softly call his name and when he turned to face him his smile slowly faded. Brian leaned closer, keeping one arm around his waist and bringing the other to his face. Nick’s breath caught in his throat as he saw the look in Brian’s eyes. His heart felt like it would beat right out of his chest, and he eagerly tightened both of his arms around his older friend in an attempt to steady himself.  

“Happy New Year baby,” Brian whispered just before he pressed his mouth to Nick’s. The younger man sighed in response and quickly lost himself in the kiss. It was gentle and loving, warm and passionate. They both forgot everyone else in the room until everything faded away but the two of them. Brian hadn’t been able to resist kissing him. Not now, not here when the night was so perfect, and he was surrounded by nothing but the people he cared for most. Not now when his heart was finally realizing that it was safe, that what they shared was beautiful and perfect and right. 

When their kiss finally broke Nick rested his forehead on Brian’s and stared into his eyes. There was so much staring back at him in those pools of blue that Brian couldn’t bear to look away. He saw that beautiful, unending love there…plain as day and yearning to get out and wash over him. He decided to let it…just for the moment. “Tell me,” Brian whispered, his lips brushing Nick’s; they were still that close, still oblivious to everyone else in the room. “I want to hear it Nicky,” he murmured, softly petting his hair. “Please.” 

Nick gulped back the tears that were now threatening to fall and swallowed hard over the lump in his throat. “I love you Brian,” he whispered, their gaze never breaking. When his tears fell, Brian quickly kissed them away. He couldn’t say it back. Not yet…but he could bear hearing it. He could do much more than just bear it; he loved it. He ached to hear it over and over again. His body felt light, his head was spinning and there wasn’t a thing he could do to stop the smile that spread over his lips. Those simple words were absolutely perfect and the look in Nick’s eyes was breathtaking. 

Nick felt chills run through him as Brian kissed him again softly and wiped away the rest of his tears. Saying those words to the older man was heavenly. His heart had been aching to say it for so long, and especially tonight with the magic moment they were sharing…the words had been on the tip of his tongue. But hearing Brian request that he say it was more than he could have hoped for yet. And the look in his older friend’s eyes showed him just how right he was in feeling that Brian loved him back. He knew he did. Nick knew he couldn’t say it back…not just yet, but his last few remaining doubts were gone. Brian loved him. Now all he had to do was wait. 

Neither of them noticed the happy glances Nick’s parents and Brian’s aunt and uncle were giving them. They were both too lost in their own world where only the two of them existed. And when they slipped upstairs together, only an hour later, they didn’t notice that Jane and Cindy were looking after them with tears in their eyes and smiles on their faces. The two women who had watched them both suffer so painfully, were overjoyed that things would finally be made right. 

Without any words, Nick and Brian slipped into bed together and wrapped themselves in each other’s arms. They spent a good many moments, looking into one another’s eyes and running their hands softly over the other’s skin. The moment they had shared downstairs had completely changed everything. It was going to be ok now. They were going to be all right.  

~*~*~ 

Late the next morning, Brian left with his aunt Cindy to help her get ready. She and Brad were having a New Year’s dinner at their house and he had promised to help his aunt get things ready. Reluctantly he said goodbye to Nick, kissing him softly as he slipped out of his bed, smiling when Nick murmured that he didn’t want him to leave. “But Nicky, I’m gonna see you again in a couple of hours,” he protested, smiling and brushing Nick’s blonde hair out of his eyes. Nick pouted sweetly and pulled him down for another kiss. “I know…” he said, sighing reluctantly. Brian smiled again and gave him one last kiss before leaving his room. 

When Nick woke up a little while later, he showered and then padded downstairs to find out how quickly they could all leave to go to Cindy’s house. He giggled to himself as he grabbed an apple out of the fridge and grinned. He loved the fact that he couldn’t get enough of Brian…not that he ever could but…. 

“I can’t believe he never…never told us!” Nick roused himself out of his thoughts when he heard his sister’s voice outside on the deck, sounding rather angry. He crept over towards the door and listened carefully. “I mean he’s our brother and…well, why wouldn’t he tell us something this important?” She asked, sounding very frustrated. “I don’t know,” Aaron replied. “Maybe he was afraid to.”  

Before either one of them said anything more, Nick stepped out onto the deck and surprised both of them. Aaron said nothing, just looked away from him. Angel, the more outspoken of the two, stepped forward and looked up into her older brother’s eyes. “Guys…what’s wrong?” Nick asked softly. “Why didn’t you ever tell us?” Angel asked quickly, her voice angry, her eyes flashing. “Tell you what?” Nick replied softly. Aaron stood up and joined his sister. They both looked hurt and upset and Nick knew it was because of him. But he wasn’t quite sure why they were so angry. What had he done? What had he kept from them? 

With lightning force it suddenly hit him, and Angel saw the moment it crossed his face. “We’re not blind Nick. We saw you and Brian kissing last night,” she said flatly. “Angel--” “I know we’re only fourteen,” she said sarcastically. “But we’re not idiots. Why wouldn’t you tell us you’re gay?” She asked, sounding more hurt now, than angry. “You obviously told mom and dad because they didn’t seem too surprised. But how do you think it felt to turn around and see your brother kissing his best friend? And then there were questions from our friends…questions we couldn’t answer because we didn’t know what to say! It was just as surprising to us as it was to them! Why didn’t you tell us?!” She yelled, her voice quivering. She turned away from him and walked over to the edge of the deck and leaned against the rail. Nick could tell that she was crying and it broke his heart. Aaron looked at him scornfully. 

“Why didn’t you trust us enough to tell us?” He asked softly, his voice much softer than his twin’s but just as upset. “Something this important to you…why wouldn’t you share it with us?” He asked before moving over to where his sister stood, making sure she was ok. Nick swallowed hard and watched the two of them. Aaron’s eyes stared accusingly at him as Angel cried softly. 

He had never really resolutely tried to keep the nature of his relationship with Brian from them. The opportunity to tell them had just never really come up. It wasn’t something he had honestly thought that much about. He had been too absorbed in discovering his own feelings to worry about how to explain this to his brother and sister. 

“I’m sorry,” Nick whispered, stepping closer to them. “Angel…honey, please don’t cry,” he begged. “I’m sorry I never told you about Brian and I. It’s not that I ever purposefully wanted to hide it from you. I just…I had to worry about everything I was going through with him before I could even think about telling anyone else,” he said softly, speaking from the heart in hopes that they would understand. “And before you say anything, I never told mom and dad. They found out on their own and then asked me about it. If they hadn’t, it would probably be just now that I’d be telling them,” he said. 

Angel turned around and sniffled softly as she wiped her eyes. Aaron’s _expression softened slightly as he listened to his brother’s words. “Why now?” He asked softly. Nick’s face broke into a smile before he could stop it. “Because it’s real now,” he whispered, looking back and forth between the two of them. He sighed softly and began his explanation. 

“I pretty much figured out that I was bi when Brian gave me my first kiss…which I asked him for,” he murmured. “When?” Angel asked, not wanting anything left out. Nick blushed and looked away from her. “When I was fourteen,” he answered sheepishly. “And you said bi not gay,” Aaron inserted. “So were there girls too?” Angel asked, finishing her twin’s thought. Nick smiled and ran his fingers through his hair. He should have known they’d have a million questions for him. Patiently, he went on and explained what had been going on between him and Brian for so long, as well as some things that had happened while he was away at school. He left out most of the more intimate details, but told them everything needed to know to put the whole story together.  

“You love him,” Angel declared, repeating what Nick had pretty much already told her. He nodded and smiled softly. “Yes I do,” he replied. “And he loves you?” She asked. Nick lowered his eyes and nodded, feeling his cheeks getting red. “But there’s something missing,” Aaron observed softly. Nick looked up into his brother’s eyes, surprised by his perception. He nodded. “Brian…Brian has yet to tell me that he loves me, but I know he does,” he said softly, his voice firm. “Brian has a very unloving and cold family,” he explained. “It’s hard for him to accept love but…he’s trying and I know it’s only a matter of time before he says the words. The feeling is already there,” he finished. 

“Aaron, Angel…I’m sorry if I didn’t tell you all of this sooner, but I swear it wasn’t because I didn’t trust you or I didn’t think you could handle it. I just…I needed to figure all of this out first before I could share it with everyone else,” he said, pleading with them to understand. 

“I believe you,” Aaron replied first, his voice soft. He loved and admired his older brother too much to think that he would ever purposefully keep something so important from him. Angel looked at him for a few moments, trying to stay skeptic for a little bit longer, but the look in Nick’s eyes and the story she had just heard made her slip. She stepped forward and hugged him tightly. “I believe you too,” she whispered. Nick was her security, so what he had done had shaken her badly, but his reasons were very understandable. 

The three of them spent a good deal of time together for the rest of the early afternoon before they left to go to Cindy’s house for dinner. Nick took Brian aside at one point and told him what had happened with his siblings. It wasn’t long after that Aaron and Angel cornered him and asked him many of the same things they had asked their brother. Nick had stayed with him and helped him as best he could, knowing he would have to stop them both before they went too far. He knew Brian would start to panic if either of them started to talk too much about love. But they seemed to have the intuition to stop after a while, and Nick had never had to jump in. Nick hadn’t even known just how much he had wanted them to know until now. He loved them even more for the way they had reacted and for their calm acceptance of his and Brian’s relationship. 

~*~*~ 

“I’ll miss you so much,” Nick whispered, pulling Brian into his arms one last time. Brian hugged him back and shut his eyes, reveling in the feel of Nick in his arms. “This is the last time we have to do this,” Brian said softly, discreetly kissing the blonde’s neck. “I’ll miss you too.” When Nick pulled back, he kissed Brian softly, not caring that they were in the middle of the airport or that his family stood inches away. To Nick’s infinite joy, Brian kissed him back and didn’t let him go. “I love you,” Nick breathed against his lips, smiling to himself when he felt Brian shiver. He looked up into Nick’s eyes, letting him see just how much those words affected him. “Soon,” he whispered his eyes bright with tears and unspoken love. Nick smiled and nodded, telling him that he understood and that he’d be patient.  

“Goodbye Brian,” Nick murmured as he finally broke their embrace, knowing he had to leave now. But Brian grabbed him and pulled him back and placed his hand on the younger man’s heart. “No, not goodbye,” he whispered, shaking his head and blinking back tears. “Never goodbye…just a little time apart. And then we have forever.” 

< Lead The Way >