Chapter
4
Nick couldn’t be anymore excited. He was
going home for Christmas today. Officially, classes weren’t finished until
tomorrow, but he had finished all of his finals, and there was nothing keeping
him in New York. Sun-shiny southern California was calling his name…and more
than anything, he couldn’t wait to see his parents, his brother and sister…and
Brian. He grinned to himself as he threw a few more things into his suitcase.
As a surprise, he was going home a day early…not to see his family, but to see
Brian. Nick couldn’t wait to see the look on his face when he knocked on the
door of his apartment.
“You certainly look happy to be leaving!” He
looked up and over to the doorway where his friend, Madison stood. She smiled
and plopped herself down on his bed, watching as he packed a few more things.
He smiled back at her as he struggled with the suitcase zipper, tossing the bag
to the floor as soon as he had successfully closed it. He sat down next to her
and leaned back against the wall. “You all packed?” He asked her as she leaned
into him and laid her head on his shoulder. “Yep…although it’s not like I’m
going real far you know,” she replied. He laughed. “What, like that trip across
town isn’t going to take forever?” She giggled and kissed him on the cheek.
~*~*~
Madison and he had become good friends
during this first semester. They had met about a week after classes began,
although as Madison had later admitted to him, she had noticed him the first
day. They had two of the same classes and they lived across the hall from one
another. She saw him the day he moved in, looking lonely and scared. Something
kept her from introducing herself that day…he looked so alone, but somehow she
knew that he wasn’t ready to meet anyone new just quite yet. She couldn’t deny
that the first thing she noticed about him were his looks. He was absolutely
gorgeous, and she wanted, more than anything to get to know him. After about a
week he was still quiet and looking very lonely. She hadn’t seen him anywhere
outside of the two classes they shared and whenever he came back to his dorm
room, he’d shut himself in there for the night. Finally, she worked up the
courage to knock on his door and introduce herself.
~*~*~
“What time is your flight?” Madison asked.
“In about three hours,” he replied. “But I should probably leave now in case
there’s traffic.” She giggled and sat up, looking down into his eyes. “In
case there’s traffic?” She asked, sounding amused. “Of course there’s gonna
be traffic!” She sighed dramatically. “Haven’t you learned anything about New
York yet?!” She rolled her eyes and stood up. “Come on, I’ll walk you
downstairs and get you a cab. You already said goodbye to everyone else?” He
nodded. “Hey!” He exclaimed after a few seconds. “Who says I can’t get my own
cab?!” She laughed again, her brown eyes sparkling. “What, like that time we
went to the movies and we almost didn’t get tickets cause we stood here for
twenty minutes waiting for you to hail a taxi?!” She giggled and he muttered
something about none of the cabs stopping.
“Damn, it’s cold!” Nick exclaimed as they
stepped outside, pulling his coat tightly against him. Madison laughed and
quickly got him a taxi. “Don’t worry sweetie,” she teased. “You’re leaving the arctic
now and going back to the warm sunshine!” “Shut up!” He yelled, grinning at her
as he threw his suitcase in the trunk. “I’ll miss ya Nick,” she said, smiling
at him. “Have a great holiday.” He smiled and gave her a hug. “You too
babe…I’ll see you in January.”
As he had guessed there was traffic
and by the time he got to the airport he only had to wait about forty-five
minutes before he got to board the plane. The flight home was long but he was
too excited to care. He gazed out the plane window into dark blue sky and
thought about Brian. Nick couldn’t wait to see him. Even though they had kept
in touch with constant emails and phone calls, it wasn’t the same. Despite his
new friends and the fact that he was very happy at college, he still missed
Brian terribly. No one he had met or had become friends with compared to Brian
and the closeness they shared. He had told Brian as much over the phone or
through email, even as he had told him about each of his new friends.
~*~*~
The first week of school had been the worst.
He had been so scared and overly shy. He was grateful to his parents for paying
extra to give him a single room. He didn’t know if he’d be able to deal with a
roommate. Besides going to his classes and to eat he hadn’t left his room for
any other reason. He had convinced himself that no one would want to hang out
with him anyway. He spent his time curled up in bed watching TV or online
emailing Brian or occasionally, friends from high school. Nighttime was the
worst. He tried to be strong the first couple of nights, but loneliness and
fear soon overtook him. He sat on his bed in the dark holding a pillow and
dialing the phone with shaking fingers.
“Hello?” “Brian…” Nick choked out, tears
already falling from his eyes. “Nick? Nick…what’s wrong?” “I’m so lonely…I miss
you and I w-want to come…h-home.” His voice sounded so small and horribly sad.
“Shh…Nicky, you’ve only been there a few days. I’m sure things will get better
soon…just give it some time.”
He had talked to Nick for over an hour,
convincing him things would be ok. His voice had been such a comfort to Nick
and had calmed him down immensely. Then Brian got him to lie down and talked to
him softly for a while about nothing in particular. His soft, low voice soon
put Nick to sleep and in the morning he had felt a tad bit braver.
When Madison had knocked on his door the
next day, he was quite surprised and a little nervous. Madison was beautiful
with soulful brown eyes and long reddish brown hair. And despite her kind
smile, Nick couldn’t help being a little intimidated. But she managed to talk
to him for a while and soon put him at ease. Over the next couple of weeks they
became good friends and spent many of their evenings in Nick’s room or hers,
eating, laughing and talking.
Madison came from a wealthy New York family.
Her mother had died when she was only two years old, but she had had a loving,
happy childhood and adolescence with her father, stepmother and older sister.
Nick soon came to learn that while Madison was as sweet as honey to those she
liked, she was sort of a snob to everyone else. And she had a wild side that
Nick had only glimpsed a few times. But, as far as he could see, it didn’t seem
like an unhealthy wild side….
It was through her that he had met Alex,
Howie and Jennifer. Alex and Howie were sophomores, but had a class with
Madison and Nick. Jennifer was a freshman and had apparently gone to high
school with Madison their senior year. But Jen and Madison hardly seemed to be
good friends. They were always bickering with each other, although Nick had
once glimpsed Madison stand up to some guy for putting Jen down. He wasn’t
quite sure what their previous history was, but it seemed like on some level
they cared about each other. But Nick often wondered why Jen was in their
little group of friends at all. She was sweet, and Nick never had any problem
with her, but she was very quiet, in a brooding sort of way. When he had first
met her and Alex, he had thought they had something going on because they were
always flirting. But Alex, he soon learned, was always flirting with everybody.
Alex, he liked immensely. The older guy could always cheer him up and was
forever telling him stories about his adventures at this or that party. But
Nick could sense a kindness in him that he came to see could be easily bruised.
Howie, Alex’s best friend, was probably the nicest person Nick had ever met. He
was always putting himself in the middle of any disagreements any of them might
have and working things out…especially with Madison and Jennifer. Howie was
openly gay, which secretly comforted Nick, since he was still discovering his
own bisexuality. But he hadn’t told any of them…not even Madison, with whom he
was closest. He just wasn’t quite sure of everything he felt yet. And while he
knew that none of his new friends would fault him for being bisexual, a part of
him was still shy, still insecure. He hadn’t told any of them about Brian
either, afraid that he might say too much or give something away with his eyes.
He smiled to himself as he let his thoughts
drift away from his friends at school to Brian. Nick had missed him badly. For
four months he hadn’t been able to fall asleep in his arms, to kiss him, or to
just talk and laugh with him. He couldn’t wait to see him again. All he wanted
was to fall into his arms and feel Brian’s warm, protective embrace all night.
For a brief moment Nick closed his eyes and saw the two of them sweaty and
naked, tangled in each other’s arms; kissing, moaning and touching frantically
as they made love. His eyes flew open and he nervously pressed his palms to his
suddenly flushed cheeks. He took a deep breath and turned his body closer to
the window, away from the other people in his row. He couldn’t deny that he had
replayed those two times they had made love over and over again in his mind.
Did he want it again? He wasn’t sure. Those feelings he had begun to have
before he had left for school still lingered in his mind, and more dangerously,
his heart. He was afraid that if he had sex with Brian again, they might
intensify. But still, the thought of sleeping with Brian again…he smiled
secretly to himself and shut his eyes. He’d figure it out when and if the time
came.
Nick woke up about an hour later, just
before they were about to land. He thought of Madison when he heard the captain
come on the intercom and say that the weather in Las Angeles was cloudy with a
chance of thunderstorms. No sunshine for me yet Maddy! As he had
secretly arranged with her, Cindy was waiting for him at the gate. She hugged
him tightly, murmuring how good it was to see him. She linked her arm with his
as they went to pick up his luggage. “Brian’s going to be so surprised…and so
happy to see you,” Cindy said excitedly. “As it is, he’s thrilled cause you’re
coming home tomorrow.” Nick grinned. “Or so he thinks,” he said, smiling
devilishly.
As Cindy drove them towards Brian’s house,
Nick gazed out the car window, smiling to himself as he watched the familiar
landscape pass by. As much as he liked New York, he was thrilled to be home
again. Oddly, he found himself getting more and more nervous the closer they
got to Brian’s house. For a few brief moments he was plagued with doubts. What
if Brian really wasn’t that excited to see him? What if he had someone
there with him? A new friend, a girlfriend…a boyfriend. He frowned at the
thought, knowing he’d be jealous…extremely jealous if it was a
boyfriend. That thought unnerved him a bit. He shouldn’t be jealous if Brian
had a relationship with someone. After all, they weren’t lovers….
“He’s really missed you Nick,” Cindy said
softly, bringing Nick out of his thoughts and helping to quell his fears. “I’ve
missed him too,” Nick whispered, glancing over at her and smiling shyly. He
often wondered if she hadn’t seen them kissing that day she had showed up in
Brian’s apartment before Nick had left. She had never said anything to him but
sometimes; he got the feeling that she knew. Kind of like his mom…when she had
seen him kissing Brian that morning, she had been a little shaken up, yes, but
as he looked back, he realized she hadn’t been overly surprised. That worried
him somewhat. Were Brian and he obvious? He shut his eyes and took a deep
breath. He should stop worrying about it…it didn’t matter anyway. They weren’t
in love; they were just best friends…who happened to have had sex twice.
He smiled brightly, feeling a tad nervous
but more excited when Cindy parked across the street from Brian’s building. “So
he knows you’re coming over?” Nick asked as they crossed the street with some
of his luggage. He had left the rest in Cindy’s car and figured he’d get it
from her tomorrow. Cindy nodded and then shushed him with a smile as she pushed
the buzzer for Brian’s apartment. “It’s me Brian,” she said, smiling
mischievously at Nick. “Come on up aunt Cindy,” Brian replied as he unlocked
the door. Upstairs, on Brian’s floor, Cindy knocked on her nephew’s door while
Nick hid himself a few feet down the hall. Brian quickly opened the door and
smiled at his aunt. He motioned her inside but Cindy stopped him. “Wait Brian…I
have a surprise for you,” she said, grinning. He smiled and eyed her
suspiciously. “What kind of surprise?” He asked. Cindy stayed where she was and
reached her arm over to Nick. He took a deep breath, already practically
trembling with excitement, and stepped in front of her.
Brian froze, unable to do anything but stare
at Nick, thinking that he had to be dreaming. Nick smiled softly at him,
waiting for him to recover from the surprise; his arms were itching to hold
Brian. Brian was, like the first time he had seen him, bewitched. It was as if
he had never seen him before. All he could think of was how beautiful Nick
was…and then, quickly after…how much he had missed him. “Nick…” he whispered.
“Surprise Brian,” Nick said softly, his smile bright. He couldn’t wait anymore.
He stepped forward and threw his arms around his older friend. Brian’s shock
disappeared as soon as he felt Nick’s touch, and he eagerly returned the teen’s
embrace.
“What are you doing here?!” Brian asked,
smiling brightly. He pulled back for a moment as he asked him and then, without
waiting for an answer hugged him again. “I thought you were coming home
tomorrow…” Nick hugged him a few moments longer before pulling back and
smiling. “I was…but I conspired with Cindy,” he said with a grin. “So I could
come back a day early and surprise you.” Brian smiled into Nick’s eyes and
unconsciously let his hands slide down from Nick’s shoulders to his waist.
“Just me?” Brian whispered. Nick nodded, his body feeling lighter suddenly. The
way Brian had let his hands slip down his back…it left him shaky. Just
that…that small, friendly touch was intoxicating.
Nick started to realize just how much he had
missed his friend. His heart had missed him…his kindness, his friendship, the
bond they shared. But Nick’s body had missed him too…missed those tender
kisses; sweet caresses…missed feeling Brian’s arms around him. “I’ve missed
you,” Nick whispered, hugging him again, this time, nuzzling his head in
Brian’s neck. Brian shivered as he felt Nick’s breath on his skin, his arms,
once again surrounding him. God, he wanted to kiss him. He wanted to kiss him,
touch him…and there was no denying how much he wanted to take him back into his
bedroom and make love to him for the rest of the day. “I’ve missed you too
Nicky,” Brian replied softly, his voice low and almost seductive.
Cindy watched them both with a gentle smile.
She knew that the two of them were still wondering, still discovering what
exactly they felt for each other. She realized that they were both terrified of
anything more than friendship, and yet neither could help being highly
attracted to the other. “Brian…Nick,” she began softly, drawing them both out
of their thoughts for the moment. They turned to face her, both of them looking
almost surprised to see her for a second. She smiled inwardly to herself,
knowing that they had been so caught up in each other that they had forgotten
she was there. “I’m gonna go now, but Nick, remember I’ll pick you up here
tomorrow around eleven and take you home.” He nodded and thanked her. Brian
too, smiled at his aunt and thanked her for setting all of this up. He would
have hugged her, but he was reluctant to let go of Nick even for a moment.
As soon as she left they turned back to face
each other, smiling into one another’s eyes. Brian reached up and ran the tips
of his fingers down Nick’s cheek, letting his hand rest on his neck. Nick felt
that familiar sensation of warmth and weightlessness come over him. It was
amazing how such a small touch could affect him so much. “Bri…” he whispered,
feeling desperate suddenly. He wanted Brian closer…so much closer. Brian
shivered, his name on Nick’s lips sounding like a plea…much like the way he
sounded when they made love. Brian slid his fingers into Nick’s soft blonde
hair and pulled him closer so that they were face to face. “God, I’ve missed
you,” Brian whispered fiercely before crushing his mouth to Nick’s.
Nick melted and quickly began to kiss him
back. He clung to his older friend as Brian slipped his tongue past his lips.
Their kisses were deep, hot and wet. Both of them were desperate for each
other, wanting to taste as much as they could. For four months they had been
starved for each other and now they couldn’t get enough. Brian slid his hands
beneath Nick’s shirt and up his back, loving the feel of his soft, warm skin.
Nick shivered and moaned softly into Brian’s mouth, pulling his body closer.
Brian gripped Nick’s hips in his hands and pressed him tightly against his
middle. “I want you,” he whispered against Nick’s mouth, both of them gasping
for air. Nick was overwhelmed with desire at Brian’s words, Brian’s touch. He
hadn’t expected this. He had never expected his desire for Brian to run so hot
and happen so quickly. His intention in coming home a day early to surprise his
friend had not been so that they could have sex…but that was the only thought
in his head now. Brian had already gotten him hard and incredibly aroused with
his deep, searching kisses and in contrast, his feather-light touches. He loved
being at Brian’s mercy; under Brian’s control…it made him feel helpless and
vulnerable in such a good way.
Brian too, was amazed at how quickly their
reunion had become so physical. But he couldn’t resist Nick; the teen was just
unbelievably intoxicating. The scent of him, the taste of him, the feel of Nick
in his arms…it drugged Brian and only made him want more. He pulled back
briefly and pulled his shirt over his head, smiling when Nick did the same
thing. Unable to wait, to resist, Brian pulled Nick tightly against him and
kissed him deeply. They moaned at the feel of their skin pressed together; it
only made them both even hotter. Nick whimpered into Brian’s mouth, sucking on
his tongue and then pushing his tongue against Brian’s and exploring his mouth.
Brian felt his knees weaken at Nick’s bold kisses. He began pulling Nick
towards his bedroom, walking backwards and never breaking their kiss for a
moment. It took them almost ten minutes to go the small distance to Brian’s
room. They wouldn’t stop kissing or touching, so they tripped over a few
things; Brian stopped them once to push Nick up against he wall and kiss him
even deeper as he pushed his hips into Nick’s. Nick moaned and tangled his
fingers in Brian’s curls. After a few minutes, they tried again to make their way
down the hall, stopping once more when this time, Nick backed Brian into the
wall and kissed him even more hungrily.
Brian slid his hands between their bodies
and ran it down Nick’s chest to his waist. He swallowed Nick’s moans as he
cupped his erection through his jeans. “Bri…” Nick breathed, licking at his
lips and tongue. They stumbled the few remaining feet into Brian’s room and
began to pull and tug at each other’s jeans. Once they had successfully removed
all of their clothes Brian took a moment to step back and run his fingers down
Nick’s arms as he drank in his image. “You’re so beautiful,” he whispered. Nick
blushed and looked down as he desperately reached out for Brian. They kissed
again, moaning and sighing as they pulled each other close. It didn’t take long
before they tumbled into bed, Nick pulling Brian down on top of him. Brian
rocked himself against Nick’s warm body, both of them moaning in pleasure as
their hard cocks rubbed together. Almost unconsciously, Nick bent his knees and
spread his legs as Brian kissed him deeper and deeper. The older man began
sucking and nibbling on his neck as he slid his hands beneath Nick’s back.
“Brian…” Nick whispered, his fingers on Brian’s lower back. Brian looked down
into his eyes and brushed his fingers through his hair. “I want you inside me,”
he said softly, staring into his friend’s blue eyes. “Oh Nicky…” Brian
breathed, the teen’s words making him shudder. Nick wrapped his arms around
Brian’s back and squeezed the older man’s hips between his legs. They kissed
each other deeply, slowly…a tender moment amongst their hot, needy passion. But
the intense desire they felt for one another quickly took over and again their
kisses and touches became desperate and frantic.
Brian reached over to his nightstand to look
for lube, feeling his body weaken as Nick began sucking on his neck and
shoulder. Nick took the lube and began spreading it on Brian’s hard cock even
as Brian pushed his lube-covered finger inside Nick’s tight hole. They both
moaned, growing even more restless, more desperate to become a part of each
other. “Brian…” Nick moaned as he felt Brian’s fingers within him, hitting his
prostate. “Please Brian…” Nick begged, desperate to feel the older man inside
him, filling him. Brian wasted no time, pulling back and taking Nick’s hips in
his hands. Nick eagerly pulled his knees back further, looking up at Brian and
reaching out to grip his arms. Slowly, Brian pushed inside of him, stopping
occasionally when he saw small flashes of pain cross Nick’s face. But it didn’t
take long before he was buried inside his younger friend. They both went still
for a moment, breathing heavily and looking into each other’s eyes. Nick slid
his fingers up Brian’s spine and into his hair, squeezing his eyes shut and
moaning when Brian moved slightly.
“God Nick…you feel so good,” Brian breathed,
sliding his hands up his friend’s sides. He thrust into him slowly, savoring
every second of pleasure. When he leaned down closer, Nick quickly pulled him
into a kiss, slipping his tongue deeply into Brian’s mouth. “Mmm…Brian more,”
Nick begged, arching up into him as he dug his fingers into his shoulders. They
lost themselves easily and quickly. Brian thrust deeper into Nick…harder,
faster. Both were aware that they wouldn’t last long; they had been apart so
long and every touch, every taste was hot and needy. Nick moaned each time
Brian pushed into him. Brian couldn’t get enough. He gathered Nick even closer
in his arms and kissed his mouth, his cheeks, and his neck as he continued to
thrust into his body. The two of them were drenched in sweat and on fire,
shaking, shivering…desperate for release but unwilling to let their pleasure
end. “Bri…I can’t…please Bri, I’m so close, I…oh God…” Nick moaned, shutting
his eyes and wrapping his legs around Brian’s waist to pull him deep once more.
Brian buried his face in Nick’s neck, sucking the soft skin and moaning.
“Nicky…so good, so damn tight…fuck Nick!” Brian came deep in Nick’s hot
tightness, shuddering and moaning the teen’s name. Nick followed immediately,
coming between the two of them, and dragging his nails down Brian’s back as he
moaned his pleasure.
They lay for quite a while as a heap of
tangled limbs and sweaty bodies. When Brian finally pulled out of him and
rolled onto his side, Nick was already yawning and cuddling up to his
still-warm body. Brian smiled to himself and pulled him close, laughing softly
when he realized the teen had fallen asleep almost instantly. He didn’t care
one bit. Nick was here with him, in his arms, and for the moment, that was all
he cared about.
Nick woke up a few hours later to a clap of
thunder. He saw that Brian was already awake and was smiling tenderly at him.
Brian pulled Nick closer so that they were face to face on the same pillow, and
tangled his legs with Nick’s. “This wasn’t my intention you know,” Nick said
softly, his hand settling on Brian’s waist. “I mean...I didn’t come home a day
early to surprise you just so that we could have sex,” he said, smiling
sheepishly. Brian smiled brightly and kissed him. “I know,” he replied, his
eyes sparkling as they looked into his friend’s.
The last four months had been very hard for
Brian. He had missed Nick every day. He had wanted to call his younger friend
much more often than he had, but he didn’t want Nick to feel smothered. And
besides, hearing Nick's voice over three thousand miles of phone wire had been
bittersweet because he hadn't been able to see or touch him. Plus, after a
while, it was obvious to him that Nick was going to be ok. He had made some
friends and every time Brian did talk to him, he sounded very content.
Brian knew very well, that he had been much more lonely without Nick, than Nick
had been without him.
Never in his life had Brian been close to
anyone the way he was close to Nick. The teen understood him in ways no one
else ever had. And he knew that Nick genuinely cared for him. That had been a
rare phenomenon in Brian’s life. Besides his aunt, he could only remember one
or two other people who had ever seemed to care...but they had all gone away
and left him alone. So letting Nick go had probably been the hardest thing he
had ever done. However on some level, he was a tiny bit glad that they had to
be apart for a little bit of time. Brian was terrified that they were too
close. He often wondered what exactly to call their relationship. They were
best friends, yes, but much more... He hoped with all of his heart that Nick
never fell in love with him because he knew he wouldn’t be able to handle it.
Love...romantic love ruined things. It always ended badly, leaving those
involved hurt, bitter and unable to stand the other person. He couldn’t give
Nick that kind of love...ever. And the last thing he ever wanted was for their
friendship to falter and fade.
Yet at the same time, he knew that to avoid
any complications with love he should stop sleeping with Nick, stop kissing
him, stop...everything except their friendship. But he hated the thought. Not
only because sex with Nick was so damn good, but because...they seemed to be
able to share a certain closeness, almost like love, but without all the
problems and heartache that scared Brian so badly.
“Brian?” Nick said softly, his fingers
moving absently on the older man’s waist. “Bri can we...can we just stay in bed
all day?” He asked, blushing sweetly. Brian knew what he meant but he wanted to
tease him. He raised an eyebrow suggestively and slid his hand down Nicks back
and across his ass. Nick swatted his hand away and giggled nervously, blushing
even more. “No Bri...I just...I...” Brian tipped his chin up and kissed him
gently. “I know what you meant Nicky,” he said softly. “I was just teasing
you.”
So they did exactly that. They put their
boxers back on, got some food from Brian’s refrigerator and settled themselves
in bed with the radio on and the curtains pulled shut against the thunderstorm
that was still raging outside. They spent hours talking and laughing with one
another, both of them more than thrilled to be able to be together like this.
Being apart for so long had been hard on both of them; now it was so easy. And
they both knew that it was better that they had had sex right away. It was like
they needed to get it out of the way, get past their intense physical
attraction so that they could settle down comfortable with each other and just
be friends.
Brian talked about his job and how happy he
was there. He had even found some friends that he hung out with occasionally.
Nick told Brian more about his friends from school and how much he liked most
of his classes and that he loved New York. Brian could tell that Nick was
pretty close to Madison from the way he talked about her. He tried his hardest
to ignore the small stab of jealousy he felt because of that.
They spent the rest of the day and much of
the night dividing their attention between whatever was on TV and each other.
Nick lost his battle with sleep long before Brian, being jet-lagged as well as
exhausted from their emotional reunion. Brian watched him sleep for the longest
time, running his fingers through his hair and kissing him occasionally.
Eventually Brian shut off the television and settled himself beneath the
blankets with his friend. The storm outside was slowly fading away, the thunder
becoming softer and more distant. Brian continued to watch Nick; smiling to
himself as he remembered all the times he had held Nick during a thunderstorm.
Nick had always tried his hardest to act as if the storm didn’t affect him, but
Brian had been able to tell that they made him slightly nervous. He had always
slept a little bit closer to Brian on those nights, had always made sure that
they were touching in some small way.
It still amazed Brian how beautiful he found
Nick. After all this time his infatuation hadn’t decreased; he still found Nick
as alluring now as he had the first time he saw him. True Nick’s appearance had
changed as he had grown, but it didn’t matter. He was still gorgeous…and Brian
couldn’t help admitting that he loved Nick’s grown up body…. He shut his eyes
and smiled as Nick snuggled closer to him, nestling his head against Brian’s
neck. He kissed the top of his head and sighed. He knew they only had about a
month before Nick went back to school, but he intended to treasure every
moment.
~*~*~
Despite Cindy’s promise to Nick that she was
the only one that knew he was coming home early, she had told his
parents. She wasn’t about to let him fly all the way back across the country a
day early without his mom and dad knowing. About a month after Nick had gone to
school, Cindy and Jane had a long conversation about Brian and Nick’s
relationship. Cindy told her that she had seen the two of them kissing almost
three years ago. Jane told her what she had seen the day Nick had left for
school. They were both a little bit worried about the two of them. Cindy knew that
Brian was afraid of love. He didn’t trust it and honestly, she couldn’t blame
him for that because she knew how he had grown up. His parents had ignored him,
his brother had ignored him…he hadn’t made friends in school simply because he
hadn’t really known how. He had grown up at home being ignored and unloved so
he had just expected the same thing to happen at school. In order to protect
himself he had remained coolly aloof and distant towards any of the other kids
who ever approached him. Looking back, Cindy wished that she had been a little
bit older, a little more settled in her own life so that she could have been
there more for Brian than she had been. She told all of this to Jane and also
stated her worries that if Nick were to fall in love with his friend…Brian
might run from that love and hurt Nick, certainly not intentionally, but hurt
him nonetheless.
Unfortunately, that confirmed Jane’s fears.
She knew her son, and she knew that no one had ever been to him what Brian was
to him. And Nick tended to let his emotions rule him. She knew that he and
Brian were very close…talking with Cindy pretty much confirmed the belief they
both had on how close. They both seemed to realize that Brian and Nick’s
friendship involved a lot more than just that. But they also agreed that
neither of the boys really knew what to make of their relationship. She was
just afraid that Nick might feel something Brian didn’t and then…she didn’t
want her son to get his heart broken. However, they both agreed that it was better
to let Brian and Nick figure things out together.
~*~*~
As excited as Nick had been to surprise
Brian, and only Brian, a day early, he was also thrilled to see his family
again. Brian went with Cindy and him when he went home the next day. He stood
back with a soft smile on his face as he watched Nick hug his parents and
siblings. He loved seeing Nick so happy, smiling and laughing with his family.
But a tiny piece of his heart was full of sorrow. He would never have
that…parents who loved him, a brother who loved him…no happy smiles, no
laughter, no love.
“Brian…where have you been hiding?” Nick’s
father asked, smiling, shaking his hand and then hugging him. “We haven’t seen
you for a few weeks,” he added. Brian started to respond, but Jane wrapped him
in a hug before he could say a word. “Yes Brian, Bob’s right…we haven’t seen
you in over a week. I demand you visit us at least once a week, ok?” She asked
in a firm voice, her eyes sparkling with a smile. Brian couldn’t help but smile
back as he nodded.
While Nick had been away at school, his
family had been sure to include Brian whenever possible, and had gone out of
their way to make sure he wasn’t lonely. Brian was often overwhelmed by their
kindness to him. He didn’t want to, but he couldn’t help but be somewhat wary
of why they wanted to be so nice to him and to include him in their family
activities. Being that he had never experienced any of that within his own
family, he didn’t quite understand it. And it didn’t help that occasionally he
would start to feel very, very guilty while he was around them. They took him
in, helped chase away his loneliness while Nick was away, made him feel welcome
and a part of their family, and how did he repay them? By fucking their teenage
son. He despised himself in those moments and often thought it would be best if
he just walked away. But he had come to care for them so much.
Ever since he and Nick had become friends,
they had started to be his family. Bob and Jane were everything he had ever
wanted in his own parents. Aaron and Angel were sweet and playful…he loved them
like they were his own brother and sister. And then of course…Nick. Nick was
his best friend, his brother…and so much more to him that he couldn’t even
identify.
He followed Nick to his room to help him
unpack, laughing as Aaron and Angel ran ahead of them, racing to see who could
make it there first. Nick rolled his eyes and smiled tenderly at Brian, his
whole face softening, his eyes shining. Brian swallowed hard, Nick’s beauty
catching him off guard for a moment, then smiled back at him softly, feeling
his heart constrict in his chest. Aaron and Angel’s yelling soon broke the
spell though and they both turned to follow the kids to Nick’s room. Neither of
them saw the look that Bob, Cindy and Jane exchanged…slightly worried, slightly
happy and very knowing.
~*~*~
Brian stayed that night for dinner with
Nick’s family as well as almost every other night while Nick was home. Whenever
they could escape they’d stay the night at Brian’s apartment. Nick loved being
home with his family, yes, but sometimes they could be a little overbearing. He
and Brian only made love two other times while he was home. Once when Nick just
hadn’t been able to resist his older friend and had been feeling extremely playful.
And the second time was the night before Nick left to go back to New York. Each
time brought them closer, made them feel more than either of them wanted. But
the alternative…never touching or kissing again was truly unbearable.
Neither of them talked about it with each
other, or anyone else, but they were both afraid of love. Nick, because parts
of him were still shy, still insecure and he was afraid of rejection. And
Brian, because he didn’t trust it and was positive that love would ruin what
they already had.
Saying goodbye this time wasn’t any
easier…it was harder. Harder for Brian to let him go a second time, harder for
Nick to leave him again. The first had been tough enough so doing it again was
even worse. And even though Nick was anxious to get back to school, his
independence and his other friends…he still didn’t want to leave Brian behind.
They both were looking forward to the summer, when Nick would be home for
almost four whole months. So as they hugged one another goodbye, they let the
world of the airport drift away for a few moments, melting into each other and
savoring the embrace. There were so many feelings between them that neither was
brave enough to analyze. They had both changed so much from that day they had
met, but one thing stayed the same, and they were confident that it always
would…they had each other.
