Journal Entry 28

Last night was our "guys" night out. And surprisingly, it was a "guys" night out. We went to go play pool at Packs, and Hunter was hitting on every girl in the place. He even brought one home with us. I was glad I was driving, and his place wasn't so far, so I didn't have to watch more than ten minutes of a soft porn going hard quickly. While he was busy "sucking face"- and neck, fingers, ears, whatever- Jessalyn was floating around my mind, wondering if she would be angry or heartbroken,or even happy at the scene in my backseat. I wanted to call her so bad and tell her myself, to show her what a douche Hunter was being, but I know that's not my place. My heart was breaking for her, for having to be in the position he was putting her in, but then another part is ecstatic that he's ruining his chances with her, and then another part is wanting to root Hunter on for scoring with yet another chick.
Then this afternoon, I tried to talk to Hunter about Jessalyn, and our pact that she was supposed to be his last fling, and he was supposed to make it last, like a real relationship. We even put a bet on it, but obviously, I won that. Of course, I've got my own objective in this whole thing. It's funny how it reminds me of an old song we wrote a while ago.

I've told you a thousand times
She is the end of the end of the line
You will know her every sign
But you're blinded by the sparkle in her eye

Chorus
You don't even love her
You need to find another
How could you love her when you're not set free
You don't even love her
But you keep it under cover
Don't even love her but you make believe

Don't even love her

Don't give me one more lie
You've been telling yourself to justify
She loves you, you want her to need you
Every promise you see through
Just open up your eyes

You don't even love her
You need to find another
How could you love her when you're not set free
You don't even love her
You keep it under cover
You don't even love her
But you make believe

You gotta quit make believing
Try betting on me
It's just make believe
You gotta quit your decieving
Gotta set yourself free
It's just make believe

You don't even love her
You need to find another
How could you love her when you're not set free
You don't even love her
You keep it under cover
You don't even love her
But you make believe

You just make believe
'Cause you're not set free
Just quit your decieving
Try betting on me
It's just make believe

You don't even love her
You need to find another
How could you love her when you're not set free
You don't even love her
You keep it under cover
You don't even love her
But you make believe

After I was unable to convince him that Jessalyn was special and deserved to be more than a conquest, I went over to her work and tried to talk to her without saying too much. I used another song as a guide, thinking I wouldn't say too much if I used it, and wouldn't seem like a self serving jerk when she found out (not from me) that he was already cheating on her only two months into their dating, but I didn't want to let on that I knew anything. I just hope that she thinks we're cool enough with eachother that she can listen to what I had to say.

Well if you're ever lonely
You can call on me
I'll be here for you
All you got to do is call
See I'm always waiting
Here for you
All you've got to do
Is keep on trying till your call gets through

For so many years
I have been your friend
We've been through everything
Time and time again
But I want you to know that I still
Believe in you
All you've got to do
Is keep on trying until your call gets through

Well if you're ever lonely
You can call on me
Well I'll be here for you
All you've got to do is call
Said I'm always waiting
Here for you
All you've got to do
Is keep on trying till your call gets through

You gotta keep trying
Even though the road gets high
You've gotta keep going on
Even though he broke your heart
and if you ever need a friend
I will be here for you
All you've got to do
Is keep on trying until your call gets through

And I think she took it pretty well, considering at first, when we were sitting across from eachother, looking into eachother's eyes, my tounge completely knotted up and I stumbled over my first sentence. And she sat and waited, as if I just hadn't made a complete fool of myself. As I manned up and started over, my hands actually itched to reach and hold her hands on the table, so I put them between my knees. I felt so rediculous! Like I was fifteen and on my first real date again. How lame am I? Anyway, so I told her that she could call me anytime, regardless of time or subject. She smiled and thanked me, and then she gave me a funny look. I asked what was going on, and she said that I had the funny look first. Can I please hit my head on the table now? Repeatedly? So we laughed it off, I asked her questions about work, and then her break was up, so I left. I felt pretty retarded. With all of my weirdness aside, I think it went fairly well. Now if she'd just call me for no reason...

Journal Entry 29