Journal Entry 30

It's almost three am, and I'm exhausted and excited at the same time. Jessalyn received the disk two days ago. And I think I pulled it off. Almost in the clear. I just spent the last three hours talking to her in an unromantic place such as the local Denny's, but hey, they have coffee and are open late. Turns out, with a little twist of fate and luck in my favor, she's not hurt, or surprised by Hunter's actions at all. She was aware of his reputaion the entire time, and even knew most of the girls he cheated on her with. How crazy is that?! And then she proceeded to smile at me and reach for my hand across the table, thanking me for my support, but there was something obvious underneath. It gave me the chills. In a good way. But it's kind of funny- I was tempted, during our talking to sing this song to her, seeing as how she already knew, and didn't seem too upset by it.

I know you must have something
Something you want, or think that you need
And you're afraid to lose, yeah
Don't you hear, oh, people talking
Saying she's just a pawn, he's doing wrong
It's sad but true

Sing it now!
You oughta know
Just cought in a feeling
He's been foolin' 'round on you
That's the ugly truth
That's the ugly truth

I guess you don't...see it coming
You think it's the real thing
He's just a midnight train passing through
Passing through

You oughta know
Just cought in a feeling
He's been running round on you
That's the ugly truth
Truth, yeah

1, 2
You oughta know
Just cought in a feeling
He's been foolin round on you
That's the ugly truth
You know it, sing it
That's the ugly truth
That's the ugly truth
That's the ugly truth
That's the ugly truth
That's the ugly truth
That's the ugly truth
That's the ugly truth
Ugly but true
That's the ugly truth
That's the ugly truth
That's the ugly truth

Oooh yeah

It's ugly
You know it
It's the ugly truth

But then I thought that that might be kind of rude and make her angry, so we'll just keep it between us. Anyway, she gave me the most soft kiss on my left cheek ever imaginable. She leaned in with her hand on my arm, kissed me, looked into my eyes, thanked me again and said good night. I think I might have stood there for at least another twenty minutes. For the first ten, just watching her walk to her car, and then the last ten, I was just in a trance is the best I can explain.
So this is my next song, one of my better attempts at explaining.

'Cause I need you, yeah
'Cause I need you

Well every time I see you
I start to feel this way
It makes me wonder if I'm ever gonna feel this way again
There's a picture that's hanging in the back of my head
I see it over and over

Wanna hold you
Love you, in my arms and then
I wanna need you
'Cause I need to be with you till the end
Then I hear myself reply
You've got to hold it in this time, tonight

If only I had the guts to feel this way
If only you'd look at me and want to stay
If only I'd take you in my arms and say
I won't go 'cause I need you

'Cause I need you, yeah

Sit here waiting, wondering, hoping
That I'll make this right
'Cause all I think about's
Your hands, your face
And all these lonely nights
There's a feeling that's screaming
In the back of my head
Sayin over and over

Wanna hold you
Love you, in my arms and then
Wanna need you
'Cause I need to be with you till the end
Then I hear myself reply
She'll never let you in, this time, tonight

If only I had the guts to feel this way
If only you'd look at me want want to stay
If only I'd take you in my arms and say
I won't go 'cause I need you
Please don't go, 'cause I need you now

I wanna hear you say
It'll always be this way
We'll be hand in hand
For every night and every day
I wanna scream and shout
'Cause I'm losing any doubt
And all I care about
Is you and me and us and now

If only I had the guts to feel this way
If only you'd look at me and want to stay
If only I'd take you in my arms and say
I won't go, 'cause I need you
Please don't go, 'cause I need you now
'Cause I need you
If only
'Cause I need you now
If only
'Cause I need you, I need you
If only
'Cause I need you
'Cause I need you
If only
'Cause I need you now

And/or-

Can't stop thinking about you
No I can't stop thinking about you

Morning, day or night
I tremble at your sight
It's impossible to fight
I've tried
Now you're in my head
In my mind I've read
Could recite the words you said
Now I

Can't stop thinking about you
I can't get you off my mind
No I can't stop thinking about you
Thinking about you all the time
Can't stop thinking about you
I can't get you off my mind
No I can't stop thinking about you
Thinking about you all the time

Cupid's dart seeped through
And all along you knew
I just want you to be mine
Nothing I can do
I'm all wrapped up in you
Even if I wanted to I'm out of time

I want to know
Said why is it so
Can't stop thinking
Oh, I
I want to know
Said why is it so
Can't stop thinking
Oh I
Yeah

Tick tock, tick tock goes the clock
Another second passes
I can't stop
Said tick tock tick tock goes the clock
Another second passes
I can't stop
Said tick tock tick tock goes the clock
Another second passes
I can't stop
Said tick tock tick tock goes the clock
Another second passes
I can't stop

I can't stop
I can't stop
Can't stop it
Can't stop
I can't stop
Can't stop it
Can't stop
I can't stop
Can't stop it
Can't stop
I can't stop
Can't stop it
Can't stop
I can't stop
Can't stop it
Can't stop
I can't stop
Can't stop it
Can't stop
I can't stop
Can't stop it
Can't stop
I can't stop
Can't stop it

Take me to a place
Where I can always see your face
I really lost my way this time
Tell me what it means
I'm bursting at the seams
You're in my thoughts, my dreams
Yeah I

I want to know
Said why is it so
I can't stop thinking
Oh I
I want to know
Said why is it so
I can't stop thinking
Oh I
I want to know
Said why is it so
I can't stop thinking
Oh I
I want to know
Said why is it so
I can't stop thinking
Oh I

Can't stop it yeah
Can't stop
Can't stop
Oh

Yeah, I think that sums it up pretty good.

Journal Entry 31