Journal Entry 32

I got a big fat good luck from Hunter. He said he'd worship me if I could manage to pry her legs apart. His exact words. So here's my own little pep talk, and mission statement.

Good bye four leaf clovers
Hello gone awry
Don't cry the fight ain't over
Unless you let it pass you by

I"m looking for a song to sing
Looking for a friend to borrow
I'm looking fo rmy radio
So I might find a heart to follow
I'v never been just longing for your loving
I've never been just wearing down to nothing
I've never been just looking for a reason
So that maybe you'd be thinking of me
Oh
You'll be thinking of me

All that I have found in reason
Is reason just to not believe
When all that you're left is treason
It's treason just to let it be

I'm looking for a song to sing
Looking for a friend to borrow
I'm looking for my radio
So that I might find a heart to follow
I've never been just longing for your loving
IO've never been just wearing down to nothing
I've never been just looking for a reason
So that maybe you'll be thinking of

These blue yonder dreams and second hand shoes
You're so far gone that you live to lose
And it's too late to go home all alone
You're the tar in that old cigar
And the worn out cable on a cable car
And you're too tired to admit you've got to chose

I'm looking for a song to sing
Looking for a friend to borrow
I'm looking for my radio
So I might find a heart to follow
I've never been just longing for your loving
I've never been just wearing down to nothing
I've never been just looking for a reason
So that maybe you'll be thinking of me
Oh
You'll be thinking of me

Don't wander through this glassy surface
Expecting to find more than me
'Cause what am I without a purpose
But a lone mirage to see

I'm looking for a song to sing
Looking for a friend to borrow
I'm lookin for my radio
So I might find a heart to follow
I've never been just longing for your loving
I've never been just wearing down to nothing
I've never been just looking for a reason
So that maybe you'll be thinking of me
Oh
You'll be thinking of me
You'll be thinking of me

And I think I'll sing her a song or two. I'll let you know, wish me luck.

---

So I wandered into her work about four o'clock, and asked for her. As soon as I could see her, she was making her way to the front, taking her apron off. Did I mention she works in a bakery, and makes the best pies and cakes IN THE WORLD? And as soon as she saw me, she stopped, and the most beautiful smile I"ve ever seen appeared on her face. For me. I asked when she was done, and she said I had come at the perfect time because she was done at four. I gave her two minutes to say good bye to her coworkers and get her stuff, all the while, I was getting assessed by the elderly ladies working behind the counter. What could I do? Smile and wave. I think it was two of the longest minutes of my life. Finally she was ready, and we were off. I wanted so bad to take her hand, slip my arm around her waist, even shoulders. Anything. But I had to keep her feelings in mind, being the sensitive guy I am, and just put my hands in my pockets, and fingered a dime I discovered in my left pocket. Anyway, we walked to a nearby park after she put her stuff in her car- and she had a nice car- and sat on a bench. I turned and faced her, and asked how she was doing with Hunter. She said she was disappointed that it had to end, because in a way, that meant she failed. But at least she knew why, and even though she had no plans to change that, she knew what kind of guys to not waste her time on.
We talked for about an hour before I felt comfortable with our conversation and where she stood relationship wise to sing her a song.

Seen you around
Got a good thing going but you don't want to waste it
It's bringing me down
'Cause you look so good I can almost taste it
Stuck on loosers
Tellin' everybody got you all wrapped up
That's what he wants
What about you
I don't think you really do

Tell me how it feels to be lonely tonight
I'll make it alright
Be what you want me to be
I know you're hurtin' baby
Look in my eyes
I'll be your light
If you do the same for me

Learn to feel
Feel it inside gotta learn how to keep it
Feel the heat
In your body and soul
From your head to your feet
Wonder why
You spend another minute with a thoughtless guy
He's so fly
Can't keep time
I know I'm gonna make you mine

Tell me how it feels to be lonely tonight
I'll make it alright
Be what you want me to be
I know you're hurtin' baby
Look in my eyes
I'll be your light
If you do the same for me

Oh baby are you ready to believe it
Oh baby are you ready for the real thing

Tell me how it feels to be lonely tonight
I'll make it alright
Be what you want me to be
I know you're hurnin' baby
Look in my eyes
I'll be your light
If you do the same for me

Tell me how it feels to be lonely tonight
I'll make it alright
Be what you want me to be
I know you're hurtin' baby
Look in my eyes
I'll be your light
If you do the same for me

She sat there quietly for a minute when I was done, with her hands folded in her lap, eyes downcast. And I take my earlier statement back, about the two minutes in the bakery being eyed by old ladies being the longest ever, because those two minutes were even longer. If there was ever only one oppertunity per life time to have the mind reading super power, then would have been the time I"d have used it. After what seemed like forever and a day, she finally said quietly, "thank you." She told me how much a song for her like that meant to her, and that she wasn't rejecting my intentions in any way, but to give her some time. "Just put them on hold for a minute, if you can," was what she told me. I was glad that it wasn't a straight out, "no way in hell 'cause you're ugly and you suck", so I said okay. I repeated myself when I reminded her she could call me anytime. She then gave me hope when she turned and leaned against me, then wiggled a little to get comfortable. I put my arm around her carefully, and she didn't move it. I looked up over her head to the sky as a big goofy grin appeared on my face. We sat and talked for another hour or son, then walked hand in hand, back to the bakery. FINALLY! I saw her to her car, then went to mine as she pulled away. I was so happy, I called Zac and Ike on three way and told them everything.
And by the way, her hands were as soft as her lips. Oh yeah.

Journal Entry 33