Journal Entry 41

Still no sign of life from her. I'm going to email her just once- my last attempt, I promise, because I know I'm bordering on the line of desperate stalking, I'm sure. I can't believe how much this hurts. I don't know if I should blame Hunter for cheating on her, so maybe she think's it's okay and follows example. Well, here goes.

One more time, one more place
One more chance for me to look upon your face
One more dream, one last embrace
Don't just leave me, without a trace

This morning we were moon and sun
There was no doubt you were the one
How did it turn around so suddenly
We were happy, we were sad
Did we hav less than I thought we had
What happened to make you say you're leaving

One more time, one more place
One more chance for me to look upon your face
One more dream, one last embrace
Don't just leave me without a trace

You ere the very air I breathe
I'm dying now, I can't believe
I'm never gonna hold you close again
Let me be with you once more
Then I'll let you walk out the door
And accept that this could really be the end

One more time, one more place
One more chance for me to look upon your face
One more dream, one last embrace
Don't just leave me without a trace

Don't tell me it never mattered
Give me one last chance, one more night

One more time, one more place
One more chance for me to look upon your face
One more dream, one last embrace
Don't just leave me without a trace

Then I told her that I needed closure if this was it. So I sent it, and the next day I got a reply to meet up with her. She said eleven am, Saturday, at our spot. I was there ten minutes early. Is that too desperate?
At first when I saw her coming towards me, hair flowing, glowing like the most polished ring, I swear she floated. When she sat, all I could do was stare. Didn't even have any words. I took her hands gently in mine. She was going to say something as she tensed, but then stopped. I asked her if this was really good bye, and she just nodded. There was only pitty in her beautiful eyes. The eyes I wouldn't be able to gaze into as boyfriend, girlfriend, or the possible more I was thinking of. I asked to kiss her, and I think it was beause she felt bad for me that she said yes. I closed my eyes and kissed her, and just held it. I didn't try anything funny, I was just memorizing the feel of her soft lips. Is that so wrong? She moved away first, then softly pulled her hands away, then stood up and walked away, not even saying anything at all.
I eventually made my way home, and went directly to my room, not even stopping to tell Zac what happened, but I think he could tell.
All I have to say now-

Just a simple conversation
But I've memorized each line
The way you hold your head when you're smiling
Gets me every time

Though you take my breath away
There's only one thing I ahve to say
I'll never love again, again

I tore up all the letters that you wrote me
I packed up all your things
But I can't stop myself from hoping
When the telephone rings

It's funny how I feel this way
And all that's left to say
I'll never love again
I'll never love again

If I had won the world
And angel wings unfurled
And came down by my side
I'd give it all away
For just a single day
That I could use to change your mind

So when I see you next time
Please don't cause a fuss
'Cause I still haven't told all my friends
About the two of us

All of this is yesterday
And all that there is left to say
I'll never love again
I'll never love again
I will never love again