Chapter 8: The Man Eating Closet

"Hey mom!" Stina said opening her front door and tossing her bag into the living room before she and Zac headed upstairs.

"Kelly called you last night while you were gone," Mrs. Starrdust called after her.

"Oh, ok" Stina called back down.

"Kelly? i don't remember a Kelly. I thought i knew all your friends. Well, sicne we have all the same friends and everything..." Zac said.

"You met Kelly once. But it was a really long time ago and you only saw her for a few seconds. She's my next door neighbors grand daughter. She lives in Pennsylvania, but she comes to visit them a few times a year. She only stays a couple days though. I'm not sure why she's here now, I would think that school would have started," Christina said, realizing it wasn't really summer break anymore. She frowned.

"Hold on, I gotta call her" Stina said. She walked across her room and flopped down on her bed, phone in hand. She dialed in her neighbors number.

"Hello?"

"Hi Mrs. Kerrigan, is Kelly there?"

"Oh yes dear, hold on one second" Mrs. Kerrigan said. A few seconds later Kelly picked up the phone.

"Christina?"

"Hey Kel!! Whats up? Shouldn't you in Pennsylvania?"

"well, yeah. But my mom had to leave on business for a few days, and my dad has been gone in Hawaii selling cars since like June, so I had no where to go. I'll be going home in a couple days though. I don't mind, I have a couple days off from school this way"

"Oh thats cool"

"Anyway, I'm really bored. My grandparents literally sit there staring at me, waiting for me to do something wrong. I mean if I blink wrong i hear 'Kelly! Quit blinking that way! Geez, kids these days. No respect for blinking' or something like that. PLEASE save me. Can I retreat to your house for the day?" Kelly whined.

"Sure!! Well, Zac's over here to, but the more the merrier"

"Zac? Zac who?"

"Zac Hanson. My best friend, remember?"

"The name sounds so familar...where do I know that from?"

"Probably TV. You know the group Hanson?"

"Ohhhh, THAT Zac Hanson. No offense or anything, but i cant stand that stupid Mmmbop song"

"Shut up. Anyway, just come over. But-" Christina said, glancing over her shoulder to see if Zac was listening to her. He was paging through some notebook.

"Stay away from Zac. he's mine" Christina hissed quietly. kelly laughed.

"Ok, I'll be right over"

Christina hung up the phone.

"Is she coming over?" Zac asked, not looking up from the book he was looking through.

"Yeah. You know who Kelly reminds me of? Eric. Hey, what are you reading?"

"We should invite him over for her. I dunno what im reading. Something marked 'STAY OUT'" Zac said, looking up long enough to grin at her. She silently laughed to herself. He had picked up the fake diary she had lieing on her desk. She always kept in there to mislead her mom and brother. If they found the 'diary' theyd have no reason to keep looking. So therefore, they'd never find her real one.

"Zac sweetie, thats not my diary" Christina said explaining what he was reading.

"oh, ok. i was kind of wondering why you had an entire page about 'why the sky is blue'"

"I'm not that screwed up. That's something you would write about"

"Ha ha ha. Bite me," Zac said getting up off the bed and turning towards the door. Christina grinned and pounced on him, pinning him to the bed. She latched onto his shoulder.

"Ow!! You rabid little bitch!!" Zac screamed. Stina sat up and laughed.

"You know never ever to tell me to bite you cuz i do bite people...you know better than that. Retard," Christina said, hugging him as he glared at her.


"Hey Kel!" Stina said, opening the door and hugging Kelly.

"Hi," She said smiling. kelly followed Stina into the living room where Zac and Eric were watching Christina's tape of Hanson appearences. She had taped mostly everything Zac had been on. It was the closest thing to seeing him she ever got anymore.

"Ha! I bet you wanted to strangle her," Eric said cracking up as Kathy Lee Gifford asked Zac about Beavis and Butthead.

"I wanted to kick her! She was pissing me off so much! She was treating me like i was about 3. I can't stand to watch this anymore" Zac said hitting the power button.

"Zac, Eric...This is Kelly. Kelly, thats Zac and thats Eric," Stina said. Zac waved and said 'Hi', while Eric flashed her his smile and looked her up and down. Kelly smiled back at him. Christina wandered over to the recliner Zac was sitting in and smushed in next to him. This would force Kelly to sit with Eric. Or sit by herself on the other sofa, but that would be rude...Kelly plopped down next to Eric.

"Damn Stina, how much perfume are you wearing?" Zac said, crinkling his nose. Christina frowned.

"None. It's called shampoo, maybe you've heard of it. People use it to wash their hair, and then it makes their hair smell yummy," She said rolling her eyes. Zac barked at her.

"Sooo, what are we gonna do?" Eric asked. He and Kelly had been having their own little conversation.

"i dunno, but we better move into my room. Frankie will be in here listening to us any minute if we don't move," Christina said standing up. She grabbed Zac's arm and pulled him to his feet. Everyone piled into her room and Stina locked her door. She didnt need her little brother wandering in.

"Let's play truth or dare," Kelly said sitting on the floor with Eric since Stina and Zac had claimed the bed. Christina and Zac looked at each other when Kelly said this, and began cracking up.

"Whats so funny?" Kelly asked. Zac and Stina just laughed.

"No, Christina and I have had quite enough truth or dare for one week..." Zac said. Eric and Kelly looked confused, but decided it was better not to ask.

"Oh come on. I promise not to dare or ask you guys anything sick," Eric asked, giving Zac a pleading look. Zac sighed.

"Ok fine," Zac said, "I'll ask first, cuz I don't wanna have to be stuck as the first victim"

"Ok," kelly said, agreeing for everyone. Zac eyed the 3 people in the room.

"Stina, truth or dare?"

"Oh god. Why?? Why?? Why does everyone have to pick on poor innocent Christina. I always sit so quietly and sweetly minding my own business, trying not to be noticed but--"

"Shut up and answer," Zac said cutting her off.

"Fine. Ummm, truth i guess. But nothing sick or perverted," She sent Zac a look of warning. He grinned.

"Hmmm. Ok, I'll ask something short and sweet. Something that can be answered quickly without much thought. Something that you can answer in few words--"

"You've already been planning on what you're going to ask her, haven't you?" Eric asked. Zac chuckled.

"Eric you know me too well. Anyway, Stina. Your question. What's your bra size?" Zac asked. Christina laughed.

"Zac Sweetie, thats none of your business"

"So? Answer please"

"No. You can't make me," Stina said stubbornly crossing her arms.

"C'mon Stina. Zac's not the only one who wants to know," Eric joked. Stina threw a stuffed animal at him. She rolled over and hung off the bed backwards. A little of her tummy showed, and Zac took the oppurtunity to poke her belly button. She screeched. She hated being so damn tickilish.

"Hurry up and answer," Kelly whined, "Not that i wanna know or anything, but we need to get on with the game"

"Please answer Stina. Pleeeeeeease," Zac whined. He gave her his pouty look. Christina sat up and leaned towards Zac so her face was right next to his.

"If you wanna know, you can find out yourself," She whispered. She leaned back and smiled. Zac blushed.

"Um, ok, I think you just answered it well enough for me..." Zac said.

"Why? What'd she say?" Eric asked.

"Nothing. Nothing at all...Kelly truth or dare?" Stina cut in.

"Dare" Kelly said grinning.

"Damn. I suck at coming up with dares for girls," Stina said thinking, "Ya know what. I'm just gonna take the easy way out. I'm gonna steal Isaac's dare from the other day. Kel, I dare you to eat dirt"

Kelly looked at Stina like she was crazy while Zac laughed.

"Christina dear, last time i checked you didn't have a dirt floor up here," Kelly said.

"Dust is close enough. Just go run your finger along my TV screen and stick it in your mouth. Good enough," Stina replied. Kelly walked over to the TV and ate the dust, making a disgusted face. She sat back down next to Eric.

"Ummm, Zac truth or dare?" Kelly asked. She would have rather asked Eric, but she wouldn't have known what to say.

"Dare!" Zac said. Kelly thought for a few minutes, thinking of all the weird dares she and all of her friends had given each other over the summer. She decided to use the one she hadn't gotten a chance to give anyone yet.

"Ok. I dare you to go the rest of the day without ur boxers on. Just your shorts," She said.

"All day? No" Zac said giving Kelly a 'look'.

"Oh fine. The next hour"

"Ok than. But I'm not taking them off in front of all of you," Zac said galring at everyone. Stina laughed.

"You can change in my closet," She said, walking across the room and opening the closet door for him. Zac walked in and waved to everyone as he shut the door. Stina resumed her spot on the bed.

"Since when do you like Zac?" Eric asked.

"What? What are you talking about?" Stina asked, wondering where that came from.

"Oh don't play clueless. Last night at my party? Ring a bell? And I can so totally read your body language. Your basically screaming 'Zac! Come jump me!' " Eric said. Stina glared at him.

"Shut up"

"I know you've always been friends, but he's using the exact same body language you are, and i'm trying to figure out exactly when you people began dreaming about each other"

"Just shut up. I'm sure Zac can hear you. Hell, I'm sure the whole world can hear you. Your practically screaming it," Stina said rolling her eyes.

"Whatever, you just have screwed up hearing"

"Freak. Zac's been in there a while, what's taking him so long?" Stina asked, suddenly realizing that Zac had been gone for about ten minutes. Eric shrugged.

"Oh my god! My man eating closet has claimed another victim! My poor Zac!" Stina said laughing. At that moment, the closet door flew open and there stood Zac with his boxers on his head.

"Have no fear! Zac's here! The deed has been done master" Zac said pointing to the undies that were falling into his eyes.

"That's lovely Zac," Stina said laughing. Zac tossed his boxers at Christina.

"Here's a gift for you. A sign of my affection. Well, a sign that you gotta give back to me in an hour"

"Thanx. I appreciate the thought," Stina said, afraid to associate boxers with 'signs of affection'. It sent weird signals...

"Eric my man, truth or dare"

"You know i never turn down a dare. DARE ME!"

"i dare you and Kelly to go in the closet together for 10 minutes. And you have to do SOMETHING and i need at least one hickey on each of you to prove it!"

Everyone silently stared at Zac. He usually had such simple dares...Kelly and Eric looked and each other.

"I'm up for it you are," Eric said shyly. Kelly blushed, stood up, and led Eric to the closet.

"This should be fun"


"They've been in there for over a half hour. What's taking so long?" Zac asked, pounding on the closet door for about the tenth time.

"The man eating closet strikes again!!" Stina muttered.

"What?"

"Nothing," Stina said, as the closet door opened very slowly. A very tasseled looking Kelly and Eric emerged, both smiling. Smiling a little too big...

"I don't even wanna know what happened in there," Zac said, suspiciously eyeing the countless hickeys on both of their necks.

"Good, cuz we don't feel like explaining"


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