Aidan opened her eyes and looked around, trying to figure out why her mind felt so fuzzy. All she saw were white walls and bright lights. She started to lift her hand to rub the sleep from her eyes, but it wouldn't budge. She determined that she was lying down and craned her neck to try and see her body. What she saw was a blue printed hospital gown and wide leather straps holding her to the gurney. There was an IV in her arm and a bunch of machines sitting nearby. Taking another look, she noticed that her wrists were bandaged. Everything came rushing back at once. She remembered it all, but wished that she hadn't.

~*~flashback~*~

Aidan sat on the new green leather couch with both feet propped up on the ottoman. Christina Aguilera was blasting from the stereo in the corner and Aidan had cotton balls stuffed between her toes. She was painting her toenails clear with silver glitter to match the new dress she'd bought that day. She was going to surprise Joey when he came home from the studio. There was lasagna in the oven and strawberry cheesecake in the fridge. It was their one year anniversary and Aidan wanted it to be special. She couldn't believe it had been a year since they'd started dating. She chuckled to herself, remembering their first encounter.

She'd been standing by a small pond in Central Park feeding some ducks when a large, sweaty young man had barreled into her, spilling them both into the pond and scattering the ducks. Aidan had wrenched herself from under him and stood up, sputtering.

"You big clutz! Why don't you watch where you're going?" She'd shouted indignantly. She had tried to ignore the fact that the man staring up at her was incredibly sexy, even more so because he was soaking wet.

"Well you shouldn't stand in the way of a man's football." He'd replied, bringing himself up out of the muddy water. "My name's Joe." He had extended his wet, muddy hand and she shook it since she was already dirty. "Our hotel's right over there if you want to get cleaned up." He'd pointed to the east.

"That's alright. My apartment is right over that way." She'd pointed to the west. "Oh, and my name is Aidan." She offered and trotted across the grass, mud squishing from her shoes.

~*~end flashback~*~

Tears rolled from Aidan's eyes as she recalled all of the happiness she'd felt when she was with him. He'd made every minute of every day better just by being there. And now he was gone. She didn't know how she was going to live without him. She didn't want to live without him. That's what had brought on her current situation. Aidan sighed and let her mind slip back into the past.

~*~flashback~*~

Aidan stepped out of the shower and dried off. She spent a little extra time on her hair and makeup. Once that was all done, she walked into the bedroom and pulled her new dress off the hanger. She carefully slipped it over her head so she wouldn't mess her hair up. There were two pieces to the dress. The first piece was solid silver with spaghetti straps. It fell about 4 inches above her knees. The over dress was shimmery and see through with Chinese characters stitched in silver thread. The cover fell about 2 inches below the other piece. She checked her reflection in the mirror and went to take the lasagna out of the oven. Just as she set the pan down, the phone rang. "Hello?"

"Hey baby. It's me." His voice came through the other end.

"No Joe. I thought that it was my boyfriend." She replied sarcastically.

"Don't be funny with me you little vixen. Is there anything that I need to pick up on my way home? I'm just about to leave the studio."

Aidan thought for a few seconds. "No babe. I've got everything under control here. Just bring your sexy self on home."

"You got it. I'll see you in about 45 minutes. I love you Aidan."

She'd smiled at the phone. "I love you too Joe."

~*~end flashback~*~

Half conscious, Aidan groaned softly. If she'd only known that was the last time she'd really talk to him, she would have said so much more. She would have told him how much he meant to her. She'd have told him how safe and loved he made her feel. And if she would have known what was going to happen, she would have told him to take a different way home. Or to not come home at all. Anything to have kept from losing him. Her mind was on its own free will and drifted back again to relive those last terrible moments.

~*~flashback~*~

An hour and a half after she'd talked to Joey on the phone, Aidan had started to worry. Joey was hardly ever late. Especially when he gave her a specific time frame. She paced rings in the kitchen floor. The food was getting cold but Aidan didn't care about the food. She was getting more frantic with each passing minute. She started shaking and had a terrible feeling that something was wrong.

When the phone rang, Aidan had nearly jumped out of her skin. Knowing instantly that it was bad news, she didn't want to answer it. After 5 or 6 rings, she decided that not knowing was worse, and forced herself to pick up the receiver.

"Hello?" Her voice had been a raspy whisper.

"Aidan? Are you there?" She recognized Chris's voice on the other end and the tears started streaming down her face. 

"Yes I'm here Chris. Tell me what happened." She replied meekly and started planning on nursing him back to health.

"There's been a real bad accident Aidan. You need to get here as fast as you can. They don't know how much longer he can hang on." Chris's voice broke as he tried to get all the information out.

Aidan dropped the phone without even hanging it up. She grabbed her purse and ran out the door, speeding all the way to the hospital and silently praying the whole time. 'Please God. Don't let him die before I get there.' After what seemed like an eternity, Aidan pulled up in the ER parking lot. She jumped out of her Jeep and ran inside as fast as she could in her heels. Stopping for a second, she started to ask the woman at the desk where he was at, but glimpsed Chris and Lance out of the corner of her eye. She ran to them and choked when she saw their faces. All they could do was point her in the right direction.

Aidan burst through the double doors into the trauma room. She couldn't believe what she was seeing. JC and Justin were standing next to the bed, their faces wet with tears. They moved aside so she could get close and she nearly fainted when she saw him lying there. His clothes were torn and bloody and there was a plastic tube sticking out of his side. His eyes were swollen shut, so he couldn't see her. But he must have sensed her presence because he tried to turn his head her direction. 

"Aidan?" He whispered.

"I'm here Joe. I'm here baby." She replied, taking his large hand in her small one. "Everything's going to be all right Joe. Just hang in there." She was trying to be strong for him but the tears were running down her cheeks. She was leaning over him and a few dropped onto his bruised face.

"Don't cry Aidan. I'll always be with you." Every word was a strain for him.

"No Joe. Don't talk like that." She tried to protest.

"Had to say goodbye. I love you Aidan and …" And that was it. He didn't get to finish his sentence. Justin and JC tried to take her out of the room, but she wouldn't let Joey's hand go.

"NO!" She screamed. "Go get the doctors! Hurry dammit, they can still save him!"

"Aidan." JC said quietly.

"NO!" She yelled louder.

"Aidan. They've done everything they could do. He's gone. Please come with us." JC pleaded with her. He knew how much she'd loved Joey and it was tearing his heart out even more.

"I will NOT leave him JC!"

JC realized reason wasn't going to do any good and nodded to Justin. Justin caught the hint and went out in the hallway. He returned a few seconds later.

"Aidan. Come with me and JC so they can clean him up." Justin told her, hoping to break through her shock.

"I swear to God, if you two don't leave me alone, I'll fucking punch the both of you." Aidan continued to resist.

Seeing that they had no choice, JC and Justin took a hold of her arms and drug her out into the hallway. Justin had gone to warn the nurses earlier and there were two of them waiting.

Aidan was kicking and screaming, fighting her friends with everything she had. When she saw the two burly nurses standing there with needles, she calmed down a little.

"Are you alright miss? Do you need something for your nerves?" One of the nurses asked.

"No. I'm NOT alright." Aidan snapped. "I just lost the man I love. But I'm not taking any goddamn drugs to make my feelings go away for the time being. So get the FUCK away from me." Her voice had gotten uncannily quiet. "I'm going to the bathroom now." She announced matter of factly and walked down the hall.

Once she had the door shut behind her, Aidan sank to the floor and let the sobs wrack her small frame. "Why him?" She whispered to herself. Joey had never done anything but make her happy. Now he was gone and she didn't know what she was going to do without him. Then something dawned on her. She didn't have to live without him. Determined, she stood up and looked around the small room. She picked up the trash can and threw it at the mirror over the sink. Her plan worked and the shattered glass rained in pieces all over the bathroom. Aidan picked up one of the larger pieces and gritted her teeth.

JC and Justin had been standing close to the bathroom when they heard the crash inside. "Aidan!" JC shouted through the door. When he didn't get an answer, he turned to Justin. "Go get some help, quick!" Justin took off running down the hall and JC turned his attention back to the closed door. "Aidan! Open the door! Are you okay in there?" He still didn't hear anything and started throwing himself against the door.

Finally Justin returned with the janitor who unlocked the door for them. When they opened it, they found Aidan lying in the floor amidst the broken glass. She was losing a lot of blood from the jagged cuts on her wrists and they yelled for the doctors.

~*~ end flashback ~*~

Aidan came back to reality again to find Justin, JC, Lance, and Chris standing around her. "You scared us for a minute there kiddo." Chris said softly.

"I just want to be with Joey." She replied weekly. Off in the corner of the room, Joey was standing and watching them all. "He's here." Her voice perked up a little. "He's here guys."

They looked in the direction her eyes were fixed, but couldn't see anything. Each one thought that he saw a rippling in the air, but wouldn't admit it out loud. They turned back to Aidan, who had acquired a serene look. "Tell him hi for us baby girl." Lance said. He kissed her on the forehead and waited while each of the guys did the same thing. They all turned away together to leave. When they reached the door, they heard Aidan talking in a calm, quiet voice.

"Wait just a minute and I'll be there too baby."

Then they heard the flat beep of the heart monitor and went to get the doctor. As they watched the medical team try to no avail to revive her, JC broke the silence. "She really couldn't live without him."

THE END