Ways to Annoy a Public Bathroom Stallmate
1. Stick your open palm under the stall wall and ask your
Neighbor, "May I borrow a highlighter?"
2. Say, "Uh oh, I knew I shouldn't have put my lips on that."
3. Cheer and clap loudly every time somebody breaks the silence
with a bodily function noise.
4. Say, "Damn, this water's cold."
5. Drop a marble and say, "Oh shit! My glass eye!"
6. Say, "Hmmm, I've never seen that color before."
7. Grunt and strain real loud for 30 seconds and then drop a
cantaloupe into the toilet bowl from a height of 6 feet. Sigh
relaxingly.
8. Say, "Now how did that get there?"
9. Say, "Humus. Reminds me of humus."
10. Fill a large flask with Mountain Dew. Squirt it
Erratically under the stall walls of your neighbors while yelling, "Whoa!
Easy boy!"
11. Say, "Interesting... more floaters than sinkers."
12. Using a small squeeze tube, spread peanut butter on a wad of
toilet paper and drop the wad under the stall wall of your
neighbor. Then say, "Whoops, could you kick that back over here
Please?"
13. Say, "C'mon Mr. Happy! Don't fall asleep on me."
14. Fill a balloon with creamed corn. Rush into the stall with
your hand over your mouth and let out a lengthy vomit impression
while you squeeze the balloon and splatter cream corn all about.
apologize profusely and blame it on the fettuccini Alfredo you had
for breakfast.
15. Say, "Boy, that sure looks like a maggot."
16. Say, "Damn, I knew that drain hole was a little too small.
now what am I gonna do?"
17. Play a well known drum cadence over and over again on your
butt cheeks.
18. Before you unroll toilet paper, conspicuously lay down your
"Cross-Dressers Anonymous" newsletter on the floor visible to
the adjacent stall.
19. Lower a small mirror underneath the stall wall, adjust it so
you can see your neighbor and say, "Peek-a-boo!"
20. Drop a D-cup bra on the floor under the stall wall and sing
"Born Free".