links
Conversations with God
back to the main page
my church web page
Please understand that before you read this that I had a lot of good times and a lot of bad times while in the ICOC. They really have changed. I thought it was important to leave my story on the internet. This takes you up to January 2007. Note the ICOC (International Churches of Christ) is different from the new International Christian Church started by Kip McKean. There are links to this stuff on the main page.
I was originally born in Oneida, NY (May 12, 1973) and spent my entire childhood in Sherrill, NY. I graduated high school from Vernon-Verona-Sherrill High School in 1991. I joined the US Army because my parents couldn't afford to send me to college. I graduated high school on June 22, 1991.
I went to basic training at Ft. Sill, OK and my first duty station was Ft. Sill. I was there from June 91 to December 92. In December of 91 at a small baptist church I gave my life to Jesus Christ and became a Christian. My time in Lawton/Ft. Sill was a lot of fun, and I felt like I established my roots in Christianity. I read my bible twice a day, and was very zealous for Jesus.
But in December of 1992 I had to go to Bamberg, Germany. While there I went to chapel for service, and I went to a place called the "Hospitality House" on Friday nights. They had a potluck dinner, and a bible study afterwards. I found the hospitality house to be a true place of spiritual growth and I learned a lot from the couple that ran that place (Danny and Kathryn) .
While in Germany I learned to be more accepting of other translations of the bible. When I was at Ft. Sill (first tour) the church I went to was insistent on using the King James Version only. I also was able to see Danny and Kathryn's marriage and how they raised their kiddos. I truly believe that God used them to show me how to raise kids, and I appreciate how Danny always put his wife's needs ahead of his.
I knew that the end of my tour was approaching, so I began to pray that God would help me find a nice non-denominational church to go to when I returned to the US. Unfortunately, I ran into the International Churches of Christ.
A friend of mine from high school named Karrie started going to Mt. Iba College near Boston, Mass. She went through the ICOC's bible studies and was baptized in October of 1994. She began to share with me some of the things that she believed and it really bothered me.
I went home for Christmas and she shared more stuff with me and a common friend of ours named Mary. I was hesitant, but she listened and started attending the church Karrie went to. She studied the bible with the ICOC and was baptized in January of 1995. Up till that point she was my girlfriend, but the International Churches of Christ convinced her that she needed to break up with me, and that would help her grow spiritually.
I went back to Germany, but I went to an ICOC church to check it out for myself. I found out that the people were extremely friendly (almost too friendly). So I decided to go through these bible studies. It took a month, and the more I went, the more they told me that I was wrong about what Christianity is, and they had all of the answers. I was baptized by the ICC on March 5, 1995. (I had been baptized in December of 1991 at that small baptist church in Lawton).
I didn't get to spend a whole lot of time with the ICOC people in Germany because I got transferred back to Ft. Sill. During the time that I was at Ft. Sill, being in the ICOC was pretty cool. I had to drive from Lawton to Oklahoma City (hour and a half drive) for church, and that was 2 or 3 times a week, depending on if we had any kind of special function. I was advised to get out of the military and to move to Oklahoma City to be closer to the church. So I moved to OK City in August of 1996.
Even my time in Oklahoma City was fun. I lived with a few roommates in an apartment off of SE 15th st. I liked it because we split a 3 bedroom apartment among 4 guys so the rent was only 75 dollars a person. One of the guys (Dan) moved out after he got married so it went up to 100, but that's pretty cheap.
During my time in Lawton I was being "discipled" or mentored by the evangelist (Kent), and when I was in Oklahoma City I was mentored by the church administrator (Kevin). Both of them seemed pretty cool and were people that I could look up to. They were both older than I was and they had solid families. The church leadership did get upset when I went out and bought a new car, but I only did it so that I would have a four door car instead of my little coupe. (Since I was constantly giving people rides to church.)
In April of 1997 it was announced that a group of people would be sent to Stillwater to plant an ICOC church there. I volunteered and was accepted to be a part of that "mission team". The team was to be sent out in July of 1997. That's when things got really ugly.
I was paired up with a guy named Sam, and we were supposed to find a place to live and a job for each of us. Later on, he became my "discipler". The worst part was that a lot of times they would tell him to tell me to do something, and Sam knew it was wrong. But he wanted to be obedient and never question authority, so he would do it. Then I would show him verses in the bible that refuted what he said, and our friendship went sour quick.
One night Sam and I went over to hang out with some friends of mine (because we were trying to get them to come to church with us). We get home at about 10:30 pm and I told Sam that I had to go to bed because I had to be at work at 7am the next morning. Well unknown to the both of us our leaders (Dave and Karen) decided to have a prayer drive that night where we were supposed to drive around the city and pray (like Joshua and the Israelites walked around the city). Well, if they had told us earlier that day I wouldn't have had a problem with that. So, later on our bible talk leader (Bill Hinds) came over and yelled at me for not wanting to go. Then he said, "Get behind me Satan." I knew something weird was going on, but I couldn't put my finger on it.
After a year of being in Stillwater (we moved here in July of 1997) I had enough of the ICOC. So Sam moved out, and I spent the summer by myself. The fall of 1998 I had started going to school at Oklahoma State University. I was alone and miserable and I actually went back. By then, Sam had left the group and started saying bad things about them.
I was once again paired up with another younger "discipler" named Jim. I was told that I had to have someone younger than me because I was so prideful. Jim was really smart and actually wanted to be my friend. Jim really cared about me as a person, and there was mutual respect there. However, they told him that he wasn't giving enough money to the church and pressured him to stop sending money to his parents. He was working his way through school, and sending money to his parents to help out with the family farm and the leaders (David and Karen) didn't like it. Jim didn't have to work; he was on scholarship. He did it so he could help out the family farm. So Jim left.
So the next guy they had mentor me was a guy named Craig. He was a nice person, and very laid back, but whenever I went to him for advice he would end up going to his "discipler" for answers. I kept wondering if this guy can't help me, why is he mentoring me? Then one day I ran across a verse in Titus chapter 2 that really stuck out. It said that older men should be teaching younger men. I just wanted to have someone who was older to help me.
By this time (summer of 1999) the Stillwater church folded and the Reeds were told to move back to Oklahoma City. So Stillwater became a satellite of the Oklahoma City church, which was then led by Chase and Karen. Kevin was now the campus leader so he would come up once a week for our own "midweek service" and we were told to go to Oklahoma City for church. (actually their church building is in Moore, the Oklahoma City International Church of Christ) So I went to Kevin and asked him why I was still being discipled by a younger person. He gave me the exact same answer as before and kept telling me that I was "prideful". He never would explain anything and always used that pet answer "you're prideful". The truth is that I really wanted to be in charge. I also didn't want to work in the kid's church. So I left on September 14, 1999.
I had a hard time getting back into a church, but I eventually did. I have been to assembly of God churches, word of faith churches, and Southern Baptist churches and many of them have the attitude that they are right and everyone else is wrong.
Bill and Tammy are now in Kansas City. I don't know where Craig is. David and Karen are in Oklahoma City and he is now a police officer. Unfortunately there are no other ICOC members in Stillwater. Most of them moved back to OKC or to Tulsa. My high school friends (Karrie and Mary) are doing fine and we talk occasionally. Karrie is married and still in Boston and Mary is in upstate NY.
Here recently the ICOC has dropped it's stance on being the "one true church" and has apologized to it's members. I have even visited a service in Oklahoma City and I have seen good things so far. Recently in Abilene there was a meeting between traditional COC and ICOC leaders. I hope this leads to more dialogue between the two groups. I was thinking of going back, but decided later not to. I am a bit too liberal for the ICOC.
I believe that God loves everyone no matter what, and that there never was a seperation between God and man. I believe that we as people are one with God and one with each other. I am now a student of the "Conversations with God" book series as well as the "Course in Miracles" book. I believe that God inspired both of these books. I am also a big fan of Dr. Wayne Dyer's books and Marianne Williamson's books. If you read them I know that you will be encouraged and enlightened.
I am currently in the military at Ft. Hood. I am married to a wonderful lady named Kristin, and we have three daughters (Kaylyn, Madeline, and Karen). I have the ICOC to thank because I first met Kristin in Stillwater, and one of the girls on the mission team met her and invited her to church. I ran into her in October of 1999 and we got married in July of 2000. We now go to the Unitarian Universalist Church of Waco, TX. I just love how accepting they are of people outside the church and how they look to many sources for inspiration.
I am about to become a chaplain. I will be attending seminary in chicago for a year and then transfer to a school in Tulsa.
There is some bad news. Kip McKean has convinced some ICOC churches to leave and form a new group. The new group is called the "International Christian Church". There are links to it, the church in Portland, and a page about Kip. (www.kipmckean.com)My advice is to go to the REVEAL site and stay informed.
My e-mail is jpwhite@meadville.com if you would like to get in touch with me.
