Story Jokes
Airplane
A blonde gets on an airplane and sits down in the first class section. The stewardess tells her she must move to coach because she doesn't have a first class ticket. The blonde replies, "I'm blonde, I'm smart and I have a good job and I'm staying in first class until we reach Jamaica." The stewardess gets the head stewardess who asks the woman to leave and she says "I'm blonde, I'm smart, I have a good job and I'm staying in first class until we reach Jamaica." The stewardesses don't know what to do because they have to get the rest of the passengers seated to take off, so they get the co-pilot. The co-pilot goes up to the blonde and whispers in her ear. She immediately gets up and goes to her seat in the coach section. The head stewardess asks the co-pilot what he said to get her to move. The co-pilot replies, "I told her the front half of the airplane wasn't going to Jamaica".
The Bet
A blonde and a red head are watching the 6:00 news in a bar. There's a report about a man who's about to jump off a building. The red head bets the blonde $50 that he would jump, he did. So the blonde pays up but the red head says I can't take your money because I saw the same report on the 5:00 news. Then the blonde says I did too, but I didn't think he would jump again.
Capitals
There was a dumb blond, and she wanted people to think that she was smart, so she memorized all the capitals of the states. Then she went to a party and saw a cute guy. She wanted to impress him so she said "I know all the capitals of the states." The guy said, "OK, what's the capital of Wyoming?" She said, "W."
Escape from Prison
A red head, burnette, and blonde escaped from prison. The police were after them and they each climbed up a tree to hide. The police went to the first tree and asked, "Who's up there?"The red head replied, "Chirp, chirp." The police went to the second tree and asked, "Who's up there?" The burnette said "Ohh ohh ahhh ahhh" (monkey sound) The police went to the third tree and asked, "Who's up there?" The blonde said "Moooooo."
Green
A woman was having her house redecorated and she had a builder/decorator in to tell him what colours she wanted each room to be. The first room she told him she wanted Green. He said ok and wrote it down then went to the window and opened it and shouted out at the top of his voice "Green side up!!!!" The woman was a little startled but let it drop. They went into the next room and the woman said she wanted it yellow. The man said fine and wrote it down then went to the window again and once again shouted out "Green side up!!!!" This continued throughout all the rooms in the house. On the last room the woman could take it no more she said " I have told you a differnt colour for every room in my house and you write it down and go to the window and shout out "Green side up!!!!" Now I demand you tell me why! Ok Miss said the man, It's like this I am going to redecorate your house in the colours you have asked for but the reason I keep shouting is because I am in charge of a load of Blond workmen that are laying turf next door!
Pains
A young woman went to her doctor complaining of pain. "Where are you hurting?" asked the doctor. "You have to help me, I hurt all over", said the woman. "What do you mean, all over?" asked the doctor, "be a little more specific." The woman touched her right knee with her index finger and yelled, "Ow, that hurts." Then she touched her left cheek and again yelled, "Ouch! That hurts, too." Then she touched her right earlobe, "Ow, even THAT hurts", she cried. The doctor looked at her thoughtfully for a moment and asked, "Are you a natural blonde?" "Why, yes," she said. "I thought so," said the doctor, "You have a broken finger."
Selling the Car
A blonde tried to sell her old car. She was having a lot of problems selling it, because the car had 250,000 miles on it. One day, she told her problem to a friend she worked with at a salon. Her friend told her, "There is a possibility to make the car easier to sell, but it's not legal." "That doesn't matter," replied the blonde, "if only I can sell the car." "Okay," said the blonde's friend. "Here is the address of a friend of mine. He owns a car repair shop. Tell him I sent you and he will turn the counter in your car back to 50,000 miles. Then it should not be a problem to sell your car anymore." The following weekend, the blonde made the trip to the mechanic. About one month after that, the friend asked Judi, "Did you sell your car?" "No," replied the blonde, "why should I? It only has 50,000 miles on it."
Swimming
A blonde is driving down an old country road, when suddenly he spots another blonde rowing in a boat in the middle of a field. Immediately he slams on the brakes, jumps out of the car, and runs to the edge of the field. Infuriated, he screams, "Hey! It's blondes like you that give the rest of us blondes a bad name. And if I could swim, I'd come out there and kick your a$$!"
Tracking
Two blondes were out for a leisurely stroll one day when they came upon a set of tracks. The first blonde says "I'll bet you $100 that those are deer tracks." The other one says, "I'll take that bet because I know for a fact that those are moose tracks." And then a train came along and ran them both over!
